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This newspaper page contains 31 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Pas Herald
Location
The Pas, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Aug 28, 1913
Page
4
The account recalls Lincoln's deep sense of duty and reluctance to claim honors. He avoided titles, spoke vaguely of his office, and preferred simple phrases. Yet foreigners admired his native dignity and simplicity, calling him a grand gentil homme in disguise.
An old timer recalls Pat Casey, famed from St Joseph Missouri to Georgetown Colorado for pushing a wheelbarrow and amassing wealth. He was noted for his sharp mind yet unable to read or write, joking that his head was bustin with business and two pencils a day kept him at work.
An English physician, irritated by a pedantic bore, quips that one knows all but being a fool, while the other claims knowledge. The joke hinges on withering irony about certainty and folly in dialogue.
A fragmented dialogue scene depicts an unnamed intruder in a telephone booth speaking with a man who asserts he is talking to his wife. The text hints at a humorous aside about children and parents sending bright children to college to be polished, reflecting a quirky exchange.
A citizen laments efforts to keep the town clean as suburban traffic leaves mud in the streets, questioning the effectiveness of cleanup moves and calling for a solution that stops mud at the source.
An aurist admits giving friends earache relief tips that involve parent lying with the painful ear up, wrapping a towel around the neck, and using warm water to fill the ear for 15 to 20 minutes, followed by glycerin and cotton. The method, repeated hourly, is claimed to be an almost invariable cure for acute inflammation. Water should be warm but not hot.
An advertisement discusses neurasthenia as a major modern evil caused by overwork and worry. It promotes Dr Williams Pink Pills as nourishment for exhausted nerves, cites a testimonial from Mrs Isaac Wilson of Calabogle Ontario, and notes price and mail order details from The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ontario.
A joke from the London Daily Citizen depicts a bricklayer in a frame car near Elephant and Castle reading the paper. A staff member notes the bricklayer’s agreement that the paper is not bad but adds it would be brighter without the labor content.
A string of old time gags unfolds as Tom recounts a rattled bridageroom asking a clergyman if it remains customary to cuss the bride while Robert retells the usher scene over occupancy of a church plot. The second tale features a Fourth of July orator and jokes about George Crossington washing the Delaware.
An old Scotch lady was compelled to carry an ear trumpet. In a small Scottish church the sexton watched her closely until she sat down. He then warned her with one finger, Madam one toot, and you re out, ending the scene with a sharp joke.
Gwendolin asks if Baron Fucash asked to marry her. Mr. Cumrox clarifies the visitor did not seek her hand but discussed a marriage settlement and, in effect, sought his pocketbook.
A February artesian well in Tolga, Algeria, set a world record with 8,000 gallons per minute, rising six feet and creating a river that could irrigate about 8,000 acres. Over ten years, Bore wells yield 46,000 gallons per minute, totaling 116,000 gallons since French occupation, enabling irrigation of 1,800,000 date palms.
In St. Phillips Saskatchewan Otto Olshewski recounts four months of kidney trouble including backache heart flutterings fatigue and nervousness. After using six boxes of Dodd's Kidney Pills he reports being “all right” and endorses the remedy to neighbors citing its tested effectiveness in settlers amid climate and water changes.
A doctor answers a bell at night and accepts a large floral package from a Black servant. He places the package in a water-filled dishpan in Matilda the cook’s kitchen. Matilda complains angrily about a intruder and vows to “seald him for sho” if she had the person nearby.
The Michigan effort mobilized 8,000 men 4,000 teams and 750 automobiles in one day to build 250 miles of road across 44 townships. The plan invites communities to cultivate public spirit to gain similar improvements.
King George attended trials of a longer service rifle at Aldershot featuring an aperture sight. A 600 yard firing squad from the Suffolk Regiment aimed at steel targets each one foot square and 3/8 inch thick. Eight men fired a total of 160 rounds, downing all but one target.
The first public demonstration of the stethoscope by Dr Laennec in Paris marked the birth of auscultation. Early methods used finger tapping and ear, but Laennec rolled paper into a cylinder to listen, leading to the stethoscope and ongoing improvements in chest diagnosis.
A writer in American Forestry notes gas escapes from base cavities of hardwood trees in the Ozarks when cut. The gas whistles as it escapes and may burn with a faint yellow flame when lighted. Decomposition of the heart wood is believed to produce the gas.
A newspaperman and ex Scotland Yard inspector describe opium dens in London. They contrast East End grotty cubicles with chic West End parlors, noting lavish decor, hidden entrances, and rapid, unadvertised growth serving fashionable patrons.
The Coast and Geodetic Survey issues a yearly volume listing daily tide heights for over 3,000 harbors. It describes a fifteen year effort to build a tide predicting machine, one of only five of merit, now regarded as the best in the world despite limits with storm conditions.
The family insists George start school as he turns six while he resists, likening schooling to a red rag for a bull. Granny steps in and notes the father says George goes next week, even though George cannot read or write and doubts the benefit.
A resident who secured permission to remove turf for his premises has finally obtained the earth he sought after excavations for new tracks on a famous railway line. The section boss was told to warn the excavating gang when the resident had all he needed. The Hibernian’s report states the man who wanted the earth has got it.
Dugald grew ill and Donald brought whiskey. After one glass and a promise of another, Dugald pleaded for the second dose, then died suddenly, remarking that many sudden deaths occur nowadays.
A twelve year old named Robert on a civics exam quips that if the president, vice president, and cabinet all die, the undertaker would officiate. The joke hinges on the constitutional line of succession and a humorous misunderstanding of official duties.
Local shoppers praise Mother Graves Worm Exterminator as a trusted bug control product. Advertised as effective for homes and gardens, it is promoted by repeatedly citing customer satisfaction and reliability.
The piece condemns riders who smoke in front seats of omnibuses belching smoke and sparks. It notes such behavior drives people away from visits and events lacking ventilation. Tobacco is being looked on as snuffing once was, drawing public ire.
A technical polo writer terms the recent international match a blend of a cavalry charge and a subway rush on horseback. He likens the scene to a turkey trot and Custer's last stand, all unfolding like the Brooklyn Bridge at 6.80 p.m. on a weekday.
Workers excavating foundations for a large Berlin building sank ten feet and found quicksand. They halted subsidence by freezing the excavation sides with a network of five inch pipes three feet apart around the pit. Brine circulated via one inch pipes to an upflow five inch pipe and drain header to a brine tank, stabilizing the ground.
A man explains a street remark about his wife and another man’s wife. He recounts his wife’s compliment that eased the tension, as the other man’s wife was present and asked him to weigh in. The exchange ends with mutual understanding.
In a literary exchange, a writer defends the originality of their novel against critics while a character named Bertie considers trying a new approach. The dialogue hints at copying accusations and personal introspection without explicit scandal.
A small boy asks to stop practicing, replying that his hands are not tired but his ears are worn from the effort, highlighting a humorous moment about discipline and fatigue.
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