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Newspaper
Pas Herald
Location
The Pas, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Apr 30, 1914
Page
2
Postal offer promotes pills delivered by mail to treat nervousness headaches neuralgia rheumatism sciatica. Address Alver 601 Sherbourne Toronto Ontario for purchase.
Fetherstonhaugh & Co led by the King Street East office in Oronto Canada announced a patent filing. The note names the firm and location as part of its intellectual property proceedings.
Promoters in London announce a four month Arctic expedition for passengers at 1000 dollars each. Included are meals and the right to shoot a polar bear seal walrus musk oxen wolf and white foxes. The voyage aims to find gold in Baffin Land with electric light private cabins and wines aboard.
Coughing results from irritation in the respiratory passages and inflammation of the mucous membrane. Dr Thomas Eclectric Oil is advertised to allay inflammation and stop the cough, claiming you will use no other cold remedy.
An Irish jurist and two passengers ride through Mayo and question the driver about land quality and productivity. The driver says summer can feed a hare to the acre, but in winter the hare would have to flee for survival.
Mrs Omp ha Turner of Piqua Ohio testifies she suffered organic weakness with backache hips kidneys headache dizziness fatigue and low energy before using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. After repeated use she says she feels like a new woman and approves using her name for benefit to others.
A loquacious passenger questions Jones about his life and family aboard a Crewe to London train. Jones reveals he has a wife and five children, but has never seen any of them, noting his youngest child was born yesterday while he was away.
An Irishman arriving in New York is guided by his brother Mike through City Hall, Trinity Church, and tall buildings before reaching Chinatown. Mike points to a Chinese laundry and Pat jokes that even if he could read the sign he would play it with his flute.
Druggists TM refund money if PAZO OINTMENT fails to cure itching bleeding or protruding piles. First application provides relief. Six percent commission.
An old advertisement touts Putnam's Painless Corn and Wart Extractor as a fast solution for warts and corns. It claims removal in twenty four hours with no scar or burn and no loss of time, promising satisfaction with every 25 cent bottle.
A teacher reported flirtatious behavior by a boy toward the music teacher who attended daily. The principal admonished the class without naming the offender, then summoned the entire group to the principal's office for an interview.
An Irish farmer visits an ironmonger to buy a scythe. Offered a bicycle for fifteen pounds, he quips that he'd rather have a cow, and ends with a joke about not looking foolish riding or milking a bicycle.
A rude patron in a cafe orders the orchestra to play Carmen during his meal and jokes about feeling like a bullfighter as he eats beef steak. The remark prompts amusement among onlookers.
Grace visits home for holidays and shows gowns to friends. She boasts a silk dress came from a "poor, little insignificant worm." Her father jokes he is the worm, remarking on hard work and modest origins. Lippincott's.
The Canadian club dinner featured Rev. Dr. W. 8. Rainsford recalling an African sunrise near Mount Kilswangare. He described a blood red shaft washing the peak and clouds, creating a stark silhouette as dawn moved across the landscape in stages from red to pink to silver.
An exchange shows a teacher testing spelling and then a student redefining fur as a long distance to go, turning a spelling lesson into a humorous quip about miles. The moment captures classroom humor and the playful error.
The Montreal Star lauds Mr. Wilson for shaping terse logical utterances on public affairs, calling him a standard setter in strong eloquence and praising his impact on American public discourse.
A humorous Ohio Sun Dial item offers quick tips for hammering a nail without hurting fingers. It suggests holding the hammer in both hands and presents a mock dialogue between a reader and editor.
Spring brings renewed vitality as blood is rebuilt. Dr Williams Pink Pills claim to restore rich red blood and energy, aiding those tired and run down. Mrs Geo Burns of Albany Prince Edward Island shares her recovery after using the pills, advertised at 50 cents a box or six for 2.50 from The Dr Williams Medicine Co. Brockville Ont.
A corporal in an Irish regiment requests a camel from the quartermaster to carry a spare tent during a March in India. The quartermaster refuses, citing only the cart and reserving the camel for emergencies. The corporal proposes placing the emergency case on the cart to obtain the camel.
A reflective line contrasts the perceived evil of divorce with the trouble of breaking in a new mother in law. The remark hints at family strain and social scrutiny surrounding marital changes.
Willie struggles through a sentence about a ship. The captain misreads a sailboat as a bark, the teacher corrects him to barque, and Willie blurts out bow wow in a tense classroom moment. It showcases a humorous clash between ship terms and a child’s anxious miscue.
A visiting clergyman asked a Windsor area class how conscience would react if a boy stole sugar. A student quips that the thief would get a thrashing, but his cheeks would redden as he tries to swallow the sugar quickly, revealing the inner impulse.
A newspaper advertisement urges consumers to use Na-Dru-Co Dyspepsia Tablets after meals to restore stomach vigor. The ad claims relief from indigestion and dyspepsia and notes a 50 cent box price from Canadian maker National Drug and Chemical Co. of Canada, Limited.
At the annual meeting Sir Rogar Speyer cited that Underground Electric Railways controlled groups carried about 1.1 billion passengers last year with an average fare of 2.8 cents. The payroll exceeded 11.75 million dollars, and over 7.815 million was spent on improvements. 27,000 people were employed. The London General Omnibus Company carried 580 million passengers with 16 million in gross earnings. Albert H. Stanley was absent due to illness. discussions touched on American management and Stanley’s English origins.
Twenty five years of service are celebrated by Old Niggard who gives longtime worker Tims a blue envelope. Tims hopes for a cash bonus but finds instead a portrait of his governor. The moment becomes awkward as Tims and his family react to the unexpected gift.
A teacher leading a kindness walk is startled by a scream from Johnny. He says he was stung by a hornet and fears Ivo harmed the insect, prompting a teachable moment on compassion toward animals.
A mother noticing a child troubled by writhings can use Miller's Worm Powders which are guaranteed to expel worms from the system. The powders may cause vomiting, but this is a sign of their thorough work and worms cannot long persist where used.
The tale recounts Uncle Podger treating Tom to a dinner and pantomime during holidays. Tom endures a long meal and envies the camel’s storage, then awakens to a waiter presenting a plate of sovereigns and half-crowns as the bill is settled. Tom yells to have the plate of coins as well.
A fragmented notice references Shrioke, a family remedy for coughs and colds in a small bottle dating to 1870. It notes a funeral drawing the town, claiming the deceased was a unique stranger who gave rides after buying a car, as if praised by a judge.
A 1918 estimate shows Canadian banks earned about 0.37 percent of capital, lower than National banks in the United States. Canadian banks paid out 64 percent of net profits as dividends, versus 74 percent by American banks, a comparison that favors Canadian institutions.
A history professor asserts Americans are world reformers and asks for an English reformer who raised legislation. The student responds with Guy Fawkes as an example.
A tense parlor confrontation hints at a mother’s possible pursuit of the wrong man while a keyhole joke suggests hidden motives and misunderstandings. The dialogue centers on surveillance, escape, and the risk of misidentification in intimate spaces.
A six year old girl named Kate, new to school, was sent to the chicken house for eggs. Her mother recalls Kate saying to the hens, “All you chickens that have laid an egg raise your hands,” highlighting a humorous misapplication of a classroom prompt.
A friend questions the narrator about becoming a doctor while noticing long study of a medical volume. The narrator jokes that the volume might be a bound edition of the Snappy Bunch Magazine, highlighting a playful mix up of expectations and reading material.
A clipped slang dialogue reveals a claimed method to avoid debt collectors. One speaker laments burdensome bills while another insists a foolproof tactic exists. A third voice pleads for guidance as payments are promised. The piece reads as a streetwise vent with a promise of relief.
The excerpt critiques excessive use of ospreys in hat adornment and fears imminent extinction at the current rate. It reflects humorous exchange about scarcity and a rush to purchase, as quoted in Fliegende Blatter.
A Wichita attorney enjoys his wife’s cake as she visits her parents. Before leaving she bakes a large cake and hides the sliced pieces around the house. Each day she writes a letter telling him where to find one slice. Kansas City Star.
A playful column compares cattle calcium quirks to Tessie Footlights-Men, noting how charm and rings are coaxed from animals and performers alike in a lighthearted, whimsical piece.
A verse asks if Clarissa, praised for fudge and angel food, would excel at baking bread. It reflects on her talents beyond confectionery and muses about her potential as a baker.
Saskatchewan dairy department held a series of meetings on a special train. Attendance reached 6 525, surpassing expectations. Over a month the itinerary visited 72 points on the Canadian Pacific and Grand Trunk Pacific railways with multiple meetings at each stop.
An advertisement touts Catarrhozone Inhaler as a rapid cure for catarrh headaches sniffles and nasal congestion. It claims the piney vapor clears the head eases throat and stops coughs carried by the germs and guarantees satisfaction with a trial size offered.
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