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This newspaper page contains 31 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Miniota Herald
Location
Miniota, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Aug 05, 1909
Page
3
A man returns home to find his wife crying over a ruined wedding cake frosting spoiled when the dog ate the cake. He calms her with a joke about getting another dog from a man he knows, while the wife laments the bake and frosting.
A budding novelist visits the editor to discuss finishing a manuscript. The editor interrupts, sighing that the effort was so demanding it could not be rushed, though the work remains unfinished.
The text appears as a fragmented plea or prayer line, lacking a clear event, date, or proper nouns. Context is insufficient to identify people, places, organizations, or a definite news item.
In a humorous Chicago News exchange, Hiram Hardapple questions Zeke Crosby’s haste as Zeke races to the barn. The plan involves preparing his auto to thwart an intended elopement by one of Zeke’s seven daughters with a Summer boarder.
Parmelee's Vegetable Pills are small but effective in action and widely demanded. They are praised as a safe simple remedy for stomach troubles and best on the market for disorders of the stomach.
The farmer speaks kindly and offers a meal if the laborer Frederick will chop a cherry log into kindling. Frederick sighs and declines, saying he cannot follow in the footsteps of the great and good George Washington.
Public warning against mercury based catarrh ointments notes these damage sense of smell and body systems. Promotes Hall's Catarrh Cure by F P J Chenery Co Toledo Ohio as mercury free and effective when taken internally. Also advertises Hall's Family Pills for constipation and includes a comic exchange from the Washington Star.
Wilson's Fly Pads are sold by all Druggists, Grocers and General Stores. "So your daughter has been to cooking school?" "Yes," answered Mrs. McGurley. "I suppose she has helped aivy along the household economies?" "Not exactly. She has made us appreciate our regular cook so much that we have to raise her wages every time she threatens to leave."
A grateful father pleads for leniency as a doctor demands a $500 bill for curing a distemper. The father outlines he earns only $20 a week and would pawn his clothes to pay, while the doctor agrees to charge the full amount.
An illustrated eye book promotes Marine Eye Remedy of Chicago to relieve red weak weary watery eyes. It claims experienced physicians compounded the remedy and states it can be found at druggists.
Publisher chides author for absent dress details in the manuscript and the modern writer responds with a vivid description of the heroine wearing a 600 dress a 250 hat a 98.76 mantilla and a 375 lace coat to appeal to readers.
The Canadian Geological Survey resumes Esquimaux ethnology under late Dr. Dawson with researchers V. Stefansson and R. M. Anderson. The two year expedition aims to study Arctic settlements from East Cape Siberia to Greenland and Labrador, including a first contact study near the Coppermine mouth before white influence alters their way of life.
A dynamite accident at Hanging Stone Lake near Gowganda kills Andrew Dunn and injures two men after Dunn's collie bites the fuse. Sims is badly cut and Hackett lightly bruised as the dog escapes unharmed. Frederick Dunn of St Johns, Quebec, brought Dunn’s body to Montreal for burial.
Whitby’s Mr. Holland, famed grand organizer of the Sons of Temperance, recalls a weigh in which scales read only two hundred fifty pounds. In Port Robinson a demure yet droll Worthy Patriarch greeted his arrival with a quip that “they told me Holland was coming, but I think it’s all of Holland and part of Belgium.”
Miss Annie Nash Nash of Carstairs Alberta will trek over a thousand miles north of Edmonton to Hay River Hudson Bay post for marriage to Rev Alfred J Vale an English Church missionary formerly of Berlin Ontario and a Wycliffe College graduate. Accompanying party includes Archdeacon Lucas and wife of London England. The trip by rail stage scow and river steamer will take about two months and is a rare venture for a woman.
An advertisement argues that Dr Williams Pink Pills strengthen blood and nerves in girls entering womanhood, especially those indoors in factories or offices. It cites Miss Minnie Smith of Halifax who improved after seven to eight boxes, and notes pills cost 80 cents a box or 2.50 for six from The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ontario.
A country squire hires a rustic to rid his mansion of flies with three days of board lodging and beer. After the period ends the flies have increased. The squire asks why no start was made and the rustic replies he must first catch them, noting he only promised to kill them.
The article extols Dr Thomas Electric Oil as a carefully studied blend of healing oils rather than a mere advertising flourish. It claims the preparation has earned public favor since its introduction and that trials will prove its restorative power.
A Detroit Free Press brief notes a humorous exchange about phrenology. A boy asks the term for someone who reads heads and is informed it is a phrenologist, followed by a gag about his mother assessing him after swimming.
Moise Derosce of St. Phillippe Quebec claims a horse with a supposedly incurable ringbone was cured using one dollar's worth of Minard's Liniment. He bought the horse for 30 dollars, sold it for 85 dollars, and states a profit of 54 dollars from the liniment.
A Kentucky girl sent to a fashionable New York boarding house for finishing school fears loss of status when asked about her father’s occupation. She blurts out that her father is a Southern planter, though he was an undertaker, illustrating social pretensions and class contrast.
An official note states that experts show house flies carry thousands of disease germs on their hairy bodies. The report claims Wilson's Fly Pads kill germs and flies, preventing daylong infection from this source.
The captain jokes about the old family fool at sea, while the boy replies that times have changed since the captain’s day and the middle of the tradition shifts with new perspectives.
The British army demonstrates a swift mobilization with nearly twenty thousand men lining up to entrain. Gen Smith-Dorrien orders alarm and full readiness across units, from Gloucesters to engineers, as barracks stockpiles stores and rations.
Early 19th century Killin in Perth shire saw St Fillan's Bell stolen. The small bell allegedly cured madness by dipping sufferers in the saint's pool. Rumor held the bell would escape captors and ring homeward. An antiquary claimed he seized it to curb superstition.
Monsignor Connolly of the Church of St. John the Baptist in St. John New Brunswick chastises a parishioner, calling attention to a watch as he reads the sermon. He warns that at quarter to twelve he will be finished, urging the man to resist checking the time.
Advertising copy touts Dr Chase s Nerve Food as a non stimulant restorative for nervous exhaustion and prostration. It claims rich red blood strengthens the nervous system and lists headaches sleeplessness indigestion and irritability as common symptoms with a 60 cent price and Toronto distribution.
A New York Sun quip notes a monarch and queen quietly at home. The king counts money in his chamber while the queen eats bread and honey in the kitchen. The couple pretends to travel to the countryside, illustrating timeless domestic life.
Parmelee's Vegetable Pills, made from entirely plant substances, have earned status as a standard medicine through years of use. Simple in composition, they suit the weakest stomach and aim to rejuvenate sluggish digestion with a healthier, agreeable effect.
A note quotes Mrs Campton asking her captain to attend a dance next Friday. Corporal Ginnis-Oi agrees to come but comments some of the group may be unable to dance.
Mrs Brown frets over her ailing husband who she fears may not recover before Friday when she hosts the afternoon card club. The Detroit Free Press notes the humor in a tonic advertising claim and domestic concern.
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