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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Macgregor Herald
Location
Macgregor, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Mar 12, 1914
Page
6
A collage of humorous vignettes and anecdotes about resolutions failed by men and women, outlandish exchanges, and everyday misadventures. It features short jokes about habits, a rheumatism cure claim, a desert water question, and a quip about a college grad cook.
A fragmented notice-like item mentions Dr Morse and an Indian Root Pill, with the phrase Weep the Children well. The readable text centers on a medicinal preparation attributed to Dr Morse and its alleged effects on children.
A so called famous stenographer is praised for near perfection but criticized for poor dictation and lack of equipment. Colleagues debate her appearance and manner while noting she rarely distracts younger staff and delivers questionable results.
An advertisement extols Williams Pink Pills as cure for grip type illness and aftereffects. It includes testimonials from Mrs Roa McLans and Herbert Freeman detailing severe weakness, breathlessness, and recovery after using three boxes. Also notes domestic church anecdote and unrelated court quip about a prisoner strike.
Fragmentary ad style text mentions Lana'ive Bromo Quinine and Grove's products with prices listed as 25 cents. Reads like a dubious patent medicine pitch. The passage includes jumbled questions and a brief remark about a teacher and a mother discussing attempting to make a mate for years.
The piece contrasts loyal and deceitful friends, warning about fair weather allies who vanish when trouble comes. It extols a genuine companion who stands by her chum through thick and thin, offering support within her power and doing her best despite difficulties.
The article discusses grain movement from Port Colborne through Lake Ontario and the St Lawrence to Montreal, noting deep canal limits, potential gains from Welland canal improvements, and the high costs of transferring grain from ocean vessels to land transport. It compares English, European, and Australian methods, advocates for waterways development in Western Canada, and argues that keeping grain in a single storage vessel until destination could cut costs, urging Regina business leaders to consider these transport reforms.
The text argues that a growing population and mixed farming will push grain as the province’s principal product for many years. With insufficient local consumption, the area must export grain, requiring the most economical export method.
An inventor describes an automobile alarm designed to deter thieves. The device allegedly delays ignition by shorting wires and cutting fuel, triggering a ring for forty eight hours unless the owner uses the key. The alarm reportedly cannot be stopped for two days, despite attempts to defeat it.
A reader shares a testimonial about relief from backache and headaches attributed to weak kidneys. The account claims Dodd's Kidney Pills restored energy, improved taste, and reduced fatigue, warning that unhealthy kidneys cause nervousness and disease in the blood.
A fragmented exchange questions whether a pedestrian recently passed by. The speaker denies a sighting, claiming to be on a different path and asserting no wrongdoing. The garbled dialogue suggests a cautious inquiry into a public walkway incident.
A garbledOxford scene shows a guide and a professor named Se and So amid a crowd, followed by an old medical pills pitch touting Parmelee eye pills as effective. Interleaved are jumbled dialogues with a waitress, a farmer’s meal, a suffragette clerk, and a mug remark, creating a mosaic of unrelated vignettes and product pitches.
The census shows Canadians include 442142 octogenarians, 5622 nonagenarians, and twenty centenarians. A child’s quip links age to a candy store keeper, reflecting contrasts in demographic data.
Advertised remedy Catarrhozene claims to prevent colds and treat catarrh by soothing throat and lung irritation. The copy cites testimonials from Amey B. Soet of St Johns and Carty praising rapid relief within hours. Complete outfit offered for $1.00, small 60c, sample 26c with many dealers listed.
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