Fragments of Wit and World News From Distant Pages
A collage of jokes on spinster life and farm ardor, voicing a satirical take on gender roles. The piece shifts to advertisements for Parmile’s Vegetable Puls, then to quick quips about a military skirmish, a country kiss, and a Brussels palace tale.
Camerons and Guards Repel German Attack in Bayonet Charge
Private in the Cameron sign landers recalls a bayonet charge during a battle where the Camerons First Brigade faced German attacks. The unit, with Coldstream Guards and Scots Guards on the flanks, fought through a tight corner as German machine guns fired. The Prussian Guards also avoided close combat, choosing flight over bare steel.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Landers
Camerons
Coldstram Guards
Scots Guards
Harrowing sawmill accident leaves fingers lost in sawdust
Abramovitch, a wood shop worker, suffered severed fingers after a circular saw drew two Rugels into the sawdust. In a rushed hospital scene, workers hunted for the missing digits while the foreman dismissively tossed a dollar as the fingers wriggled in debris.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Caledonia
Tkey Abramovitch
Sinking and sword of war fill a varied news page
The report covers a ship sinking near Attica with a Kaiser Wilhelm Der Grosse captain awarded the Iron Cross first class, plus a Berlin interview about a parolee disguised as a fireman escaping a German steamer. It includes a police court scene and a joke about a bachelor named Tommy.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Ans
Fritz
Hans
New York Evening Post
Aymary
Attica
Berlinger Tageblatt
Aye
Viermany
Stoker
Islands
Palmas
Canary
Uber
Kalger Wi
Las Pain
Mit Canada
Submarine Developments Signal Naval Shift
The text argues new submarines surpass current warships in size and speed, with wire-guided systems enabling submerged travel and stealth. It notes the strategic role of submarines in modern conflicts and credits American navy progress in advancing this vessel type for greater efficiency at lower costs.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Anier
Pink Pills Promised Cure for Anemia and Weakness
An advertisement-style report cites pale skin fatigue and heart palpitations as early anemia signs. It touts Dr Williams Pink Pills as a cure creating new blood, with testimonies from Laura Dempsey of Auburn New York and others, urging readers to buy by mail or through a dealer.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Wil
Laura Dempsey
Auburn
N.Y
Dr. Williams
Fragments from a Busy Store and Home Life
A garbled slice of daily life shows a boy eyeing candy in a shop while his mother sends him to buy goods. Other snippets depict Mrs. Clubleigh urging her husband to return home for breakfast and a request for a rat trap replacing a recent purchase.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Senny
Untitled exchange hints at doubts before a family visit
A narrator urges calm as Belle and her partner plan a late visit. The sister remains unsure of her companion. A confidant vows to handle the situation, recalling a past incident with a lobster and a horse ride. The tone suggests a playful domestic scene salted with tension.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Joli
Belle
Jobn
France Plans Exposition Naval Vessel Disposal
Bordeaux officials announce France will place a naval vessel for disposal as part of a government display to strengthen ties with the United States. Ambassador Moore, head of the exposition, sent a message to Interior Minister Malvy noting France will provide space for French industry and will send a vessel from a French port early in January to transport items to the United States free of charge.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
France
Bordeaux
Gharles
Moore
Minis
Malvy
Trench Parth
Janus
German Prisoner of War in Darkened Town Chronicle
A Swiss helper and a French officer confront a German prisoner in a town amid shelling. The German’s arm, not in a sling, is revealed as broken and swollen. a Red Cross doctor retrieves pills and watches from the coat. After a brief court martial the prisoner is shot.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Seni
Mattie
Red Cross
Humorous Anecdotes on Economy and Courtesy
A string of short comic vignettes and quotes on appearances, frugality, and social wit. An economist's quips about paying for tailor-made suits, a wife voting for women for cheaper reasons, a Sunday army toy dispute, and a testimonial for Minard's Liniment from WA Hutchinson.
Local church heat risks as widow and son fall ill
A small town church in a malaria area installs a hot air plant for cold weather. A widow and her yellow skinned, feverish son attend, sit over a furnace register, and the boy declares a fever rising. The scene reveals concern over public safety and rights amid broader political mentions.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mualaria
Fragmented and mock honors amid a European war scene
The text satirically lists dubious orders and invented titles such as Knight of the Red Suspender and Gold Bootjack for imaginary figures, while a youth questions geography and language. A joke about a military drill mocks the bugle calls Advance and Retreat, ending with a quip about waking soldiers.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Kaiser Wilhelm
Eral von Hootschur
Count von Strut
Professor Vorrubbrd
General von Swiller
Raihenkelier Marines
Fresehenbid
Mis ‘Sity
Cathdras
Alder- Shot
Nerviline Pain Remedy Promises Quick Back Relief
An advertisement touts Nerviline liniment as penetrating and fast acting for back and muscle pain. It claims deep tissue reach, superior effect to prior treatments, and offers a refund if unsatisfied. Sold by druggists nationwide at 25 to 50 cents, with Canadian availability noted.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Tom
Pal
Druxsis
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Beis
Canada
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Toronto
Ont
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Anapd
Mise Smith
Misa Smith
Ugt
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Parmiler
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Satan
Sam
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Albert
Brussels
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Bone
Tula
Lordon
Roylite OU
Coca
Umperlal of Co., Limited
Police Court
Kaiser
Berlin
Gertathers
Andritain
New York Herald
Tommy
Pop
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Hubby
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George
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Gee Eyes Bretency Rosman Savi T Satse Potbonanet Epee
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Chicago
Google
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Boston Transcript
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Spohn
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Tors
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Thompson Sons and Company
Atention
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Army of Tin Soldiers
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Weil
the Salvation Everybody's Magazine
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Fatious