Post-Impressionist joke from Bet Luks remark
A magazine editor asks George Laka what a post-impressionist is. Laks replies with a jest that a post-impressionist is an artist who has orders for more pictures than he can paint.
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Newspaper
Hamiota Echo
Location
Hamiota, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Sep 11, 1913
Page
3
A magazine editor asks George Laka what a post-impressionist is. Laks replies with a jest that a post-impressionist is an artist who has orders for more pictures than he can paint.
A fragment reflecting on baseball with a digression about a runner failing to be chased and a remark on temper. The passage contrasts temperamental behavior in players and uses playful dialogue about the sport.
An advertisement proclaims Mother Graves's Worm Exterminator as the best medicine to expel worms and ensure a child’s health, claiming efficacy if worms are removed from the system.
A manager questions an actor about a complaint as a ticket seller jokes about needing his nickel back. The actress defends her rouge by claiming milkmaids have red cheeks, and the manager retorts that they are pale.
A weathered saying divides a storm’s heft from a man’s financial standing. The speaker notes the storm’s weight is unknown while observing that when a person’s business improves, their reputation can suffer due to shifting priorities and outcomes.
Ladies are urged to write to the Lydia E Pinkham Medicine Co confidentially. A woman will personally read and answer, offering advice on private illnesses without publishing letters. No payment required beyond goodwill. a 100 page text book is available free by mail.
The piece threads anecdotes from Count Moltke noting unguarded weapons, Sabatini like valor of Samuel Whittemore who fought British soldiers at 80, and Roosevelt banding glasses to libel action, contrasting past and present manners. It cites G W E Russell on Gladstone and wine, recalling temperance in Oxford days.
An old western farmer famed for wealth died penniless and left a single line will. In the name of God, amen I leave the earth. My relations have always wanted that They can have it. The odd testament ends with a stark final bequest.
Travelers report Ecudar natives sleep under bark blankets made from thinly cut tree bark. It is pounded moistened and sun dried to create a durable covering lasting two to five years. J Jameson notes strong enthusiasm for the bark blankets among locals.
Two Irishmen go hunting in their first outing. Casey aims at a bird and argues he must shoot, Pat stops him only to remind the gun is unloaded. A huntsman later visits Mrs. Hodge to settle damages from a run to hounds and the exchange reveals sharp humor in local speech.
In a bustling town, two women embody opposing desires. one pursues marriage while the other seeks freedom from it, entertaining society with wit and resolve as neighbors watch the evolving romantic and social games.
A wry note suggests a rival emerges as a dark horse in both ticket races with a hint of nostalgia for a red automobile as a symbol. The lines imply voter sentiment and a touch of old fashioned charm.
The dialogue mentions an umbrella and identification between two people. A stray remark about noticing the item suggests ownership and recognition but lacks clear context or enough factual details to form a complete news item.
A succinct note reflects on virtue as reward and the fate of many women who adhere to a strict path. The piece implies those who stay morally upright may still face social or personal consequence.
An essay by Claude Graham White warns that pilots may lose nerve with repeated flight and become a danger to themselves and others. It stresses constant vigilance, precision, and the need to stop flying after a serious mishap or loss of confidence.
Baron Heyking inspected a large gathering of Boy Scouts Church Lads Brigades and Boys Brigades at Chiswick. He praised the medieval ideal of serving others and called the Boy Scout movement a revival and improvement of chivalry. He suggested arranging visits to Russia to foster Anglo Russian relations.
A famed French poet Saint Foix, rich yet always in debt, is shaved by a barber while a major creditor arrives. The creditor agrees to delay payment until the shave ends, and the poet exits with a beard for life, the barber witnessing the pact.
A compassionate young settlement worker takes a six year old to the coast for a rest and fresh air. On arrival she bursts into tears at the sight of the ocean, calling it homely and feeling moved by the moment.
A man with asthma longs for relief and hopes for a cure through Dr. J. D. Kellogg's Asthma Remedy. The text urges faithful use to end suffering and make asthma a thing of the past.
A Baltimore man visiting a local kindergarten asked pupils questions after the opening exercises. A five year old boy answered on a lion’s skin and where it lay, while a girl weighed in on engagements noting the lack of romance and the tedium of such subjects.
A cautious narrator admits a craving to ride an airship but fears death could occur. The reflection weighs risk versus curiosity and hints at a fatal hesitation amid adventurous impulses.
A reflective line contrasts daily life with cheerful companions against harsh critics who always note the wind is in the east. It suggests mood and behavior shift when surrounded by lighter, more positive company.
An old classified style notice promotes Marine Eye Remedy products including a liquid remedy and a salve for red weak or watery eyes with soothing properties. It mentions an eye tonic for all eyes and a free eye book offer by mail from Eye Remedy Co Chicago.
At Marshfield a 17 acre bog hosts 100 white bird boxes on tall stakes to lure swallows. Capt. B G Cahoon, creator of the system thirty years ago, hopes the birds reduce moths and cranberry pests, protecting the crop with minimal cost. Other bogs may follow.
In Hedley BC Gazette remarks celebrate the CPR plan to spend 100 million dollars expanding lines and improving its western system. The piece praises the railroad for aiding Canadian commerce, mining, and regional development from Okanagan Lake to Boundary districts, noting historic rates and public benefits. A separate museum scene mentions a mummy and a judging of whether an incident is auto or air related, with a card labeled BC 87.
The doctor states the meal plan should take forty minutes. The patient asks if adding meat and vegetables could pose danger.
The whiskey insurrection in western Pennsylvania began with a Brownsville meeting protesting a grain spirit excise tax devised by Alexander Hamilton. Tax collectors were tarred and feathered as farmers, led by John Holcroft, attacked Gen Neville’s house before federal troops under Lighthorse Harry Lee suppressed the revolt.
A fragment expresses affection for a friend named Angelina describing her as comforting and helpful, while questioning her homeliness and fascination. The speaker notes Angelina's support through difficulties and reflects on their friendship tone.
A farmer consoles a motorist as the machine breaks down. The motorist swears and the farmer jokes that the last man around broke because he could not stop it. The exchange captures a rural roadside moment with humor.
A woman explains a parrot from Brazil that she gifted to a friend. The bird’s intelligence, its humanlike chatter, and its ability to whistle Home Sweet Home move the listener. The friend recalls his own Brazilian parrot that whistled The Village Blacksmith and caused sparks to fly from its beak.
The brief exchange asks what you do for a living and ends with a harsh verdict on the result. It frames a speaker challenging another about the value of their labor and livelihood.
Daily diet should include lettuce, water, apple, grape or potato scraps. Canary seed mixed with rape and golden millet plus hem seed in cold weather. If nails overgrow, soak in soapy water and trim. Bath daily helps, start by removing bottom tray and placing water on paper, then cover with cage top. After bathing, warm the cage to prevent chilling.
A Quebec resident writes that after a vicious horse bite in June his hand and wrist wounds refused to heal until using Minard's Liniment. He reports pain relief in five hours and complete healing in two weeks, ending with a well recovery.
A narrator recalls finishing a repast in a pub dining room when he asks the waiter to retrieve his hat and walking stick. A Uniformed boy is sent to the coat tree to fetch items described with slang terms for hat and staff.
Mrs Naybor delivered a light jab about misusing the phone to chat for a full half hour, remarking that the cost was nothing while the exchange included a volley of playful, economical chatter.
A father jokes about waves in Mildred’s hair. Mildred on her father’s knee says there are no waves but a beach, turning a hair comment into a childlike pun. The family scene captures a playful domestic mood.
An impatient guest insists on a steak cooked not well done while the intellectual waiter and cook clash over the standard. The cook, insisting every detail must be thoroughly done, represents a rigid dining-room ethos in a humorous exchange.
Dialogue between two girls Norah and Edith about toys and dolls. Norah says her Teddy bear is locked away until she is married so her future children or grandchildren may play with it. Edith questions the plan and future family.
A bank’s quick cash option misfires as the expected fast young applicant or prospect fails to materialize, leaving the initiative without the usual speed and vigor. The situation highlights gaps between advertised rapid service and actual customer flow.
An old newspaper note describes neuralgia as widespread in modern life and links it to blood poverty and nervous exhaustion. It recommends Dr. Chase's Nerve Food as a cure, arguing it rebuilds weak nerve cells while avoiding powerful drugs and suggesting hot cloth applications for relief.
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