Was He Hired Gent Seeks Chauffeur
An applicant for a chauffeur position reports that references from the last employer will be available in about a month. The interviewer learns the delay is due to the applicant being in the hospital.
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Newspaper
Hamiota Echo
Location
Hamiota, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Nov 25, 1909
Page
6
An applicant for a chauffeur position reports that references from the last employer will be available in about a month. The interviewer learns the delay is due to the applicant being in the hospital.
Parimaelee Vegetable Pill is described as a non aggressive laxative that acts on the stomach and bowels along the entire alimentary and excretory passage. It is touted as safe for relief without injury and made only from fully tested vegetable substances.
A brief quip from the New York Sun contrasts meal terms by likening a luncheon to a luncheon to a mechanic and a mechanician, implying a subtle linguistic distinction in a humorous exchange.
Advertises Hearens Catarrh Cure by F J Cheney & Co of Toledo offering $100 for any case cured. Mentions Eustachian tube inflammation causing deafness and rumbling in ears. Includes unrelated anecdotes about medical misdiagnosis and a Congregationalist publication note.
An old advertisement urges readers to try Murine Eye Remedy for eye troubles and advertises eye books from Murine Eye Remedy Co of Toronto. The notice includes dubious claims and a boastful line about a wife and husband, with a brief jab about gender roles and a Chicago News reference.
A humorous exchange features a moralizer and a demoralizer from the Chicago News mockingly debating gender roles with a tart quip about a man’s vanity and a woman’s perception. The snippet reflects social humor in period newspaper chatter.
A practical joker visits Niagara Falls and a hired guide extols the falls with grandiose figures. The tourist asks for daily flow, hears billions of gallons, then comments that it runs all night, leaving the guide unable to recover.
Nature cures may fail but Scott's Emulsion provides a health kick start. The advertisement pitches cod liver oil with hypophosphites as a remedy to check disease and restore vitality. Scott & Bowne advertise offers from the quote street address.
Garrett P. Serviss recounts Halley’s comet forecasts and returns. The piece traces its appearances since antiquity, Halley’s 1682 insight linking 1607 and 1531 comets, and his 1758 prediction fulfilled after his death, noting the upcoming 1910-era perihelion and visibility shifts.
Dr P Low ell notes San Francisco peaks as ancient volcanoes rising from a 7000 foot plateau with concentric vegetation zones. Yellow pine dominates 6500 to 8500 feet while Douglas fir and other firs occupy 8500 to 10300 feet. Engelmann spruce and fir reach the treeline at 10300 to 11500 feet.
The Duchess of Bedford notes extraordinary lifespans among her birds in British Birds. A Barbary dove has flourished fifteen years since passing from an elderly owner who kept it equally long. A Chinese goose remains with the family after fifty seven years. A pintail drake bought twenty years ago as an adult survived until now, having been chained to a small batch for forty eight years.
The era of preventive medicine is dawning as statesmen recognize the need to conserve national health for civic integrity. Industry is voluntarily adopting health measures for workers, prompting educational authorities to focus on child welfare since sound bodies are essential for effective mental training.
The article explains that maids of honor must meet strict standards beyond appearance. They require good birth, language skills in French and German, public affairs knowledge, musical talent, and clear reading ability. Duties include entertaining guests, sitting beside the Queen at dinners, presenting bouquets, assisting with correspondence, and helping amuse guests after meals.
Dramatist and poet Mr. Stephens Phillips, facing financial trouble, joined F. R. Benson's repertory. At his Romeo and Juliet debut as Balthazar he forgot his lines, forcing Benson to finish the part while Phillips feigned grief, proving he acted more than spoke.
The article explains how Mrs W Desmond Humphreys known as Rita writes with just a title guiding the plot. Peg the Rake arose from her husband’s remark and The Pointing Finger came from another casual remark. The latter is highlighted as a dramatic addition to Newnes sixpenny novels.
Tasmanian F A W Gis references Melbourne housing 538 000 residents holding 43.11 percent of Victoria’s population while Adelaide accounts for 45.41 of South Australia. The six capitals total 1 519 441 or 36.21 percent of Australia’s population. Including other towns over 3 80 inhabitants each, about 212 million of 414 million Australians live in towns.
Mrs. J P St. Denis of 346 Thompson Street Winnipeg says Zam-Buk cured her stubborn eczema after doctors failed. She details a long skin battle, rapid improvement within weeks, and urges others to use the herbal balm sold for 0d a box with cautions against imitations.
A brief note from the New York Sun reports Mrs Newned Jack refuses food while a suffragette uses a stomach amp on him. The item reads as a terse social blurb reflecting wartime era attitudes and sensational shorthand.
A Kansas City man and his mother in law moved in with him after his marriage. A friend asked about any new additions to the family. The man replied with a joke that his wife’s mother’s mother had joined them, prompting the quip that their posterity had headed in the wrong direction.
Four published correspondences from The Bihar Bankipore paper reveal caste limits on a Hindu youth sent abroad by the Behar Industrial Association for education. The letters constrain him to study only for learning, abstain from politics, keep to Kayastha dining rules, and perform Brahmin rites upon return, with penalties including barred remarriage and loss of ancestral property if breached.
Frontier unrest grows as Khostwal tribesmen raid Batochki in Kurram and withdrawal follows. Border police bolster presence near Bannu with pickets on the Tochi road and escorts for militia officers. A Kohat mail tonga attack leaves one bag of Indian letters stolen and later recovered. Naib Tahsildar of Miranshah seized briefly.
A Wagga Lang Board hearing featured a farm laborer applicant aged 18 to 21 who saved enough to buy $350 worth of horses and held $500 cash. He earned $9 weekly during harvest for driving five horses, $6.25 for ploughing, and $5 plus keep for the rest of the year. A board member suggested printing and circulating the report in England to attract such workers as migrants. A district resident claimed he could place ten similar youths at $6.25 weekly.
Miss Wynne Matthison, noted as Mrs Charles Rann Kennedy, rose from a one word musical comedy role thirteen years ago to become Sir Henry Irving's last leading lady. She starred as Fair Rosamond in the Adelphi production The Great Divide and was on stage the night Irving died.
A tale shows Lord Charles Beresford ill and Sir Frederick Treves the king’s physician. The patient lists pains and stiffness, and the doctor responds with mock praise claiming a “parent disease of the century” that was thought extinct.
A praised tonic asserts Baby's Own Tablets replace harsh medicines for stomach and teething issues. Government analyst certifies safety and efficacy. Mrs. Thos Craft of Binscarth endorses them, noting constipation and teething relief. Sold by druggists or by mail for 25 cents per box from The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ont.
The Duke of Sutherland lauds icy watermelons in New York while recounting a voyage tale. A southern preacher warns against melon thievery and a backseat remark about a knife adds a dark edge to the anecdote.
An advertiser claims Parme tee's Vegetable Pills cleanse the stomach and remove impurities with a mild yet powerful action. The copy asserts they cause no painful effects and can be used by delicate individuals.
A spelling lesson provokes an offbeat definition from Little Sadie who says a gentleman is a man you don’t know very well. The anecdote carries a gentle note of cynicism in a Woman’s Home Companion context.
An endorsement from Vilande Freres claims Minard’s Liniment cured a severe distemper in a valuable horse, describing a satisfied customer’s results and urging others to try the remedy.
A collection of quips and anecdotes from Philadelphia papers features a hungry boast about an enormous appetite, a vendor touting Lifebuoy Soap, a North Pole abrasion claim by an Arctic explorer, and college initiation jests about a son’s quick class attendance.
In a humorous exchange Mrs Hub questions the parcel delivery while Mr Hub reveals the item is a settee she did not request. The couple’s confusion highlights domestic miscommunication and a lighthearted domestic moment from the Boston Transcript.
A Mariner's Advocate tale depicts a yacht captain rushing ashore with a broken rudder while a woman remarks that being underwater most of the time means no one will notice. The anecdote centers on maritime humor and the sea life ethic aboard a crewed vessel.
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