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This newspaper page contains 24 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Glenboro Gazette
Location
Glenboro, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Jul 02, 1908
Page
2
A Scotch tale recounts Hamilton dining with the late Duke of Hamilton at Hawiltean Palace. A witty Highlander taunts a shop servant by sniffing cloths, claiming scarlet and startling the shopgirls with a mock color test and a rough prank on the bearer.
A Canongate bailie hears a dispute over a clipped wing squirrel owned by one party and in charge of another. After a confused start the magistrate refines the questions, concluding the creature is a quadruped and ruling against the defendant.
In Scotland two wealthy men argued over scripture. One bet five guineas that his partner could not recite the Lord's Prayer. The other began the twenty third psalm, prompting a humorous correction as the memory mishap leads to a playful exchange.
Aytoun sought consent from Miss Wilson for marriage but could not ask directly. He relied on the girl to obtain her father's approval. Christopher North advised tenderness and offered a humorous reply plan. Miss Kane quips that Papa's answer is on her dress, and the suitor reads, With the author's compliments.
A former Duke of Athole meets a cottar and learns his wife has twins. The duke quips on God sending bairns with meat and receives a cow with calf as a practical lesson. The tale ends with the duke sending the cottar a cow with calf the next day.
David Dancing recounts Dr Scott of Carluke officiating at a parish bridal with a cheerful crowd. A dissenting leader urged the minister to condemn the dancing, but he lightheartedly praised it as good exercise for youth, quipping that if all danced like David it would be different.
An elderly gentlewoman hired a village mason for repairs. Throughout work the mason muttered the project was a Very stouri job and joked about sending it down. He finally produced a small thistle glass and claimed he would not be worse for it even if it had Vitriol.
A Highlander enters a Perth haberdasher shop seeking ecariet cloth for a waistcoat. The narrative notes the Gael’s gustic manners shaping the scene as he inquires about fabric and styling.
A west country anecdote recalls the old practice of bearing coffins on long poles with two bearers beside each other. One man complains of fatigue and is told to carry, while the other admits to leaning. The exchange explains the worn balance that kept the procession moving.
An Ayrshire farmer, faithful to family prayers, nods off in his chair as a visiting goat trained to butt bonnets triggers a comic scene. The animal, reacting to a bonnet shake, charges the sleeping man, knocking him from his chair and surprising the household.
A Kilwinning sexton pressures a farmer over a peat grave toll. The farmer protests high charges for a seven foot burial, and the sexton threatens a sudden finish. The dispute ends when the farmer pays the final shilling.
At a public dinner in Edinburgh Professor Blackie shares a Presbytery exam story. A boy is asked the meaning of regeneration and replies that he would not want to be born again lest he be born a lassie, provoking laughter.
A Scotch lad in a military school presents a finished drawing of Venice to his master. Seeing the name printed with two Ns, the master asks about the single N in Venice. The boy replies with a playful misreading, joking that there will not be many eggs in Venice.
Claudius Leander Smythe, a railway official, brags of a flashy day at work and a playful feud with his wife over a stolen pie. The scene unfolds inside their small flat as he recounts a president’s surprise pie moment. The toast ends with a cliffhanger as the wife responds.
Iroea Lee, a Chinese Christian, recounts eighteen months in Hong Kong and travel home to Athol Massachusetts. He describes family wealth from father, a ten room brick house on a farm, marriage to MewSee, and a large wedding with many guests. He notes wind damage cost and plans to help his brother care for sheep, praising China US ties and missionary prospects. The local First Baptist Church votes to accept two more Chinese members.
A speaker protests the craze for roller skates as he laments yielding to his wife Nellie's fashion. He recalls bowing to many fads and chores while loving mates, but declares he will not accept her skating on the street or near their home. The verse frames a domestic clash over style and autonomy.
A Philadelphia Bulletin poem notes aging and decline through a chain of relatives and a cave man in quirky skin togs. The speaker asserts a personal wish amid reflections on weariness and societal decay.
A Philadelphia Buetio note records a playful exchange where a handsome Egyptian student claims admiration for a chorus girl. The chorus girl dismisses the idea, noting that Egyptians are known to worship cats, a witty cultural aside.
A column mocks clumsy multilingual circulars and miswritten ads that fail to entice foreign buyers. Examples from Bordeaux to New York show awkward translations, inflated promises, and odd phrasing that amuse or confuse readers rather than secure business.
The Canadian Forestry Association, a national body with about 1200 members across Canada and beyond, promotes forestry, organizes annual March meetings, and convenes major events like the 1906 Ottawa Forestry Convention. It operates the Indian Forestry Journal and counts leaders such as H M Price, E Stewart, and R H Campbell among its officers and past presidents.
The Fordwych village near Canterbury faces loss of its ducking stool after a transatlantic millionaire offered a large price. The device, a rare English relic once used to reform scolding wives and sometimes accused witches, echoes the era of scold’s bridle and old punitive customs.
Dialogue from Punch quotes a publican and a husband debating money taken by a wife. John complains it is always money from dawn to supper, while the publican expresses disbelief at the situation.
In a terse exchange a pair of figures discuss keeping quiet about others. One warns against snitching while the other answers with a brisk demand for money, signaling a coercive power dynamic.
The remark warns against making a henpecked man feel welcomed at home, implying social caution. It reflects a behavioral norm about domestic dynamics and gender relations conveyed in concise aphorism.
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