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Newspaper
Glenboro Gazette
Location
Glenboro, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Aug 06, 1908
Page
7
A satirical Scottish Irish duo stroll Piccadilly provoking shop banter as a Hibernian and a Scot debate purchasing trifle while a later tale recalls Jamie Fraser and Jamie Fleeman defending quick wits against insults from clergy.
In a northern country parish a clergyman finds the pulpit taken by the parish idiot. Authorities refuse to remove him publicly, and the minister orders him down. Tam replies from above urging the minister to come up, calling the generation perverse and in need of faith.
Dr John Brown recalls a humorous Campbell anecdote from youth en route to Enterkin at the Bield inn. The poet, after a toddy, is surprised by a pretty supper girl asking him to share her bed. He agrees warmly as the carrier arrives, and a stout porter follows.
A high ranking mistress plans a large dinner while Nichol, her servant, rushes about in only shirt sleeves. He exclaims there is so much running that he cannot endure the bustle, having already cast aside his coat and waistcoat and fearing how long his breeches will hold.
At the start of the century when invasion seemed likely Montrose town authorities sought an old maiden to fund men for the king. She replied firmly I will not do this I cannot raise a man for myself and I will not raise men for King George.
A Highland broom seller visits a Glasgow barber for a shave. The barber buys a broom and offers a penny, then halts the bargain. The Highlander counters with a halfpenny, inviting the barber to put back the beard, vowing no deal if unsatisfied.
An old laird returns from a supper party with his wife on horseback. Crossing the River Urr at a tidal ford, the lady falls off and is later found arguing with the advancing tide, uttering No another drop neith er her nor could.
Jamie Fraser of Lunan parish in Forfarshire is noted for his blunt responses. The local church faced ongoing dissatisfaction as the congregation frequently slept during services, despite the minister urging decorum and admonishing the impropriety of slumber in worship.
A reminiscence depicts Edinburgh when Greyfriars Church burned. From a childhood home near the church, the narrator recalls the dawn flames, alarm cries, and a startled household as the event unfolded. The housemaid’s absence on Sunday contributes to the chaotic scene.
A witty, darkly humorous note arises around Lord Fife's estate fields where experts debate the best crop. A half-witted retainer overhears the discussion and cries that with factors in charge the crops will thrive everywhere, adding a sardonic twist to the proceedings.
A Sabbath journey from Gargunnock to Buchlyvie by a Seceder passes Kippen where an elder chides the rider for braving a heavy rain to attend Burgher kirk. The exchange centers on mercy to the horse versus the rider entering the kirk.
A Highlander strolling Holborn heard a parrot cry Rogue Scot from a balcony. He drew a broadsword but, recalling restraint, sheathed it with a sour smile and quipped If ye were a man as ye are a green goose I would split your name.
The Edinburgh minister Mr Neil McVicar meets a parishioner Janet by the roadside in a drunken state asking for help with her bundle. He rebukes her and offers to help in exchange for a confession about where drinkers go. She replies that the drink they seek is the drop of quid drink.
Two Buckie fishermen, Willie and Tam, voyage on the Moray Firth near Lossiemouth. Willie buys a sack of potatoes while Tam spends all his cash on drink, they head home, talk of thrift and hunger, a squall strikes, and both men fall overboard.
A fragment shows Tam taunting Wullie with a playful question about tatties, as both men pause on an upturned keel and exchange a quick, symbolic glance. The tone hints at a rural dialect moment of humor amid an odd setting.
A facetious preacher in Joppa near Edinburgh used a comic misquote about sending more men to force as his sermon text. The remark plays on a humorous misreading of a common plea for manpower among bearers and spinsters in the crowd.
Major Guggisberg, R. E., works on a map of the Gold Coast Colony and Ashanti after six years of field tests. He describes trekking through tropical forests, cutting pathways, and arranging logistics for a large expedition. He notes extreme heat, dense undergrowth, and dangerous wildlife, with native carriers and guards.
A detailed guide from The Christmas Woman's Home Companion describes suspending a round wire netting beneath a chandelier and winding it with Southern moss to hold a display called the Christmas silver rain. Glass icicles, mistletoe, a central mirror, moss edging, and white and green china set the table without candlesticks. White roses at men’s places and mistletoe sprays with silver ribbon and bone hair pins entertain guests.
A humorous exchange reveals Mr. Jimp as a cornetist and his sister as a pianist. His mother is described as a zitherist, while his father delivers the final joke by calling himself a pessimist.
A detailed portrait of a ship captain on a 23,000 ton liner, its autocratic authority, and the lifelong ladder of seafaring promotion. It notes the captain’s absolute control aboard, the slow rise from fourth officer to commodore, and the high stakes of maritime fault and career ruin.
An excerpt notes a sailor who, after years of zeal, remains scatheless but faces removal from command and a life of hardship at sea. If he makes one error he is finished, ending his rise and forcing him into a menial tramp role with no further chance for advancement.
Capt. John J. Souder notes that long wire fences across the west and southwest are used to carry telephone messages over ten to thirty miles. Signal Corps troops use improvised lines in rugged terrain, connecting via field telephones to headquarters and avoiding temporary lines, with occasional trouble from poor connections. Fence riders keep ranch fences in good repair.
An editorial in Cement Age argues cement and concrete will supplant stone and terra cotta in decorative work due to economy. Concrete enables fast production of intricate designs, with durability, suitable for ornamental walls bridges balustrades and even estate features rather than statues or urns.
In Oklahoma's Cherokee Strip a buffalo herd keeper recalls a St. Louis visitor describing fodder as poor land. A Kansas farmer encounters a homesteader seeking 160 acres of free land, later trading half for a mule team and joking about doubling his claim by outsmarting a tenderfoot.
A lighthearted tale notes two cow-punchers from Bad Bucko's engaging in a quiet scientific scrap witnessed by Alkali Ike and a visiting Eastern tourist. The stranger quips about cool tempers as funeral delays are hinted for a few days.
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