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McLemoreUnable to Break A Flying SaucerBy Henry McLemoreI had a stern warning from the Columnists' Union today.It said that unless I wrote something about flying saucers within 24 hours that mv card would be picked up, I would be fined $50, and forced to spend a week end with John L. Lewis.I wired back and said I couldn’t do it; that I hadn't seen a flying saucer and therefore wasn't qualified to discuss them.“Write about Henry McLemore.that, you dope,” the union answered. Don’t you realize you are unique (stop! only man in country who hasn’t seen one (stop) great story there (atop).So. to save my card, I am going to tell you about the flying saucer I haven't seen.Square, Not Round.It’s square, not round, like the ones every one else has been seeing.When I didn’t see it, it didn't come flashing by at some incredible speed the way those in California. Oregon, New York and all the other places have. It crept along on all fours, and when it got in exactly the right place for me not to see it, it stood still for about an hour. This was a lucky break, because it gave me time to get a lot of my friends not to see it too, and provided me with a great many witnesses who are willing to swear that I didn’t see it. Sure as shooting, in a few days jealous rivals will swear they haven’t seen any flying saucers either, but I'm the first man who has proof he didn’t see one.Not having seen the saucer, I wouldn't like to take an oath as to what color it was, but I think it was sort of striped, like a zebra, except the stripes were round like leopard spots. Remember, don’t go around quoting me as to just what color it was. It might have had an India print pattern.The thing about the saucer whichTHE EVENING STAR, Washington, D. C. • A—15THURSDAY, JULY 17. 1947.startled me most when it didn't come into my vision was the queer: noise it didn’t make. I remember! thinking at the time how strange it was that it didn’t roar, whistle, rumble, sputter or squeak, even.Lemme see if I can describe to you the sound it didn’t make. Have you ever heard a round, hard ball of nothing falling through a vacuum? No. that's not right. Too noisy. It was more like a kitten holding its breath, or a caterpillar not clapping its hands, or a girl ghost hitching up a girdle she didn’t have on.I must not. have seen that flying saucer for a full hour, so there can! be no doubt I didn't see it. While it was invisible I made notes about it. It didn't appear at 11:15 a.m. sharp. At 12:15 p.m. it still wasn’t there. By not being there it didn’t disturb a thing. ' The trees, birds, bees, dogs and passers-by continued i to act normally, just as if something startling and fantastic wasn’t present.At 1:30 p.m., satisfied that I hadn't seen a flying saucer, I went in the house, nibbed some suntan oil on my face and made a vow not to tell my wife of the remarkable thing I hadn't seen.When I last didn't see the flying saucer it wasn’t heading north.(Distributed by MrNiuth! Syndle*te. Inc.).NEVILLEJK-fva r.M.Guest SpeakerChurch of Hi«HEALING CHRIST2460 16th St. N.W. CO. 6436Sand*?. Jaly 30. 11 A.M.Dr. Irwin Edwin Greet“Over SO y««ri of Quality ServiceEXPERTPACKINGANDCRATINGChina-Glass FurnitureForeign and Domestic ShipmentsMerchantsTransfer Storage Company920 E N.W. NA. 6900Superb QualityandMore Tea per BagTEA-BAGS
Newspaper Details
Evening Star
Washington, Washington-DC, US
Thu, Jul 17, 1947
Page 7
Full Page
Clipped by
Barret R.
NA, 25 Jan 2022
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