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Newspaper
Cumberland Islander
Location
Cumberland, British Columbia, Canada
Date
Jun 13, 1914
Page
6
A garbled OCR style dialogue sketch features bits of humor and conversation. Exchanges touch on judgment day stock optimism egg spoons and marriage jokes. Mentions a possible English nobility match and a claim of a cent value, with reference to Minard's ointment for sale.
Eleven years ago a Winnipeg woman suffered a tumor diagnosis at Victoria Hospital in Montreal and was told removal meant instant death. After returning home she used Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for two years and continues to take it at times, crediting it with saving her life and recommending it to other women. The ad promotes the compound as a long standing remedy for female ailments including displacements inflammation and tumors and offers confidential advice from Lydia E Pinkham Medicine Co. Lynn Massachusetts.
A child named Johnny faces a dream owl judge and a chorus of birds as a jury. The owl declares him guilty for taking eggs from a nest, banishing him from the woods, until he wakes up to learn his lesson. The tale ends with Johnny vowing not to take eggs again.
An eclectic mix of old ads and travel anecdotes, mentioning Laxative Bromo Quinine with a signature hint by BE. W. GROY, a European journey by Mrs. Jones and daughters Eleanor and Marion, and a London newspaper critique noting navy spending and Churchill’s 1910s timeline.
An odd ad mixed with a joke recalls Shilofi cough remedy priced at 26 cents and a shy suitor who asks for a kiss after a rose in his buttonhole. The piece also cites Dr Kellogg's asthma relief and a Yale president quote about youth, ending with a witty exchange from the Chicago Record-Herald.
The father asks Johnny about school progress and Johnny replies in French saying he has learned to say please and you. The father acknowledges the improvement noting it surpasses his English progress.
A shopper asks for a pair of socks for her husband. The clerk requests the size and the shopper answers with a number three.
A quip on certainty and error appears as a playful addendum. It riffs on the idea of being sure before acting and being wrong before quitting, recalling a teaching moment about spelling and sound.
An advertisement extolls Dr Williams Pink Pills for Pale People as a year round blood builder and nerve tonic. It claims the pills increase blood quality, restore strength and cheerfulness, aid digestion, clear complexions, and combat rheumatic pains, with mail order options from Brockville Ontario. It is followed by a short anecdote about a naughty boy who decides to hit his sister after dinner.
Forest Notes Minnesot reports the state has 98 million acres of forest, the largest eastern area. It cites 4 million acres of timber land in New Hampshire, half on farmers' wool lots, and notes U S firms cause annual timber losses of 70 lives and 25 million dollars in destruction. Canada opens a forest products lab with McGill, akin to Wisconsin’s. Tree planting on national forests follows spring melt and fall rains. a quirk about timing is described. Also includes a quip about the vowel “a” and brief humorous anecdotes about turkeys and a lobster diet.
Fragmented lines from the Philadelphia Public Ledger describe a town behavior observed in a country gentleman question. A lawyer cross examination appears to cause minimal worry, with a client noted as having six children.
In So Far as Sanity Scott Nearing argues that nature, unbound by age or tradition, steadily erodes old forms to create new order. The river’s relentless carving of canyons mirrors society’s need to remove obstacles and align with changing conditions through cooperative effort.
French residents from Fall River and New Bedford led by Pierre Le Brecque and Edward Pepin sell property and plan to move to Calgary Alberta. They toured Alberta Manitoba and Saskatchewan reporting bright prospects and wages of 35 to 45 cents an hour. Le Brecque sells his Fall River store.
In London, Algy’s mother asserts the rich Smith boy was struck by a brick thrown by Algy, as a doctor confirms earning a substantial fee for care. The exchange hints at a dispute over responsibility and compensation in a London setting.
Mrs Morile Lance of Pembroke Ontario details a long illness including insomnia dizziness rheumatism lumbago dropsy and kidney pain. She credits Dodd's Kidney Pills for rapid relief after twelve boxes and proclaims the remedy cures bad kidneys. Thousands of Canadians share her experience and endorse the treatment.
Five men from Warren Pennsylvania rifle team established a world record by placing 99 shots within a 2 inch circle at 75 feet scoring 999 of 1000 in an NRA league match. They broke the former record 998 set in 1915 by Park Rifle Club Bridgeport Connecticut, and also won the series and the national championship in this class using Remington UMC ammo.
A fragmentary exchange questions Amy about marrying Mr Dooling with fear he will be unkind. The dialogue contrasts her concern with the visible monument he erected for his first wife, suggesting judgment on his kindness despite appearances.
A fragment notes a character remarking on hair standing after reading late night crl papers. The speaker mentions the newspaper is filled with horrible crimes. The text conveys shock and a reference to sensational crime reporting.
A speaker notes that Arthur-Fredy claims living costs have not risen in a decade. He points out the change from living with his father to now living with his father-in-law, drawing a humorous comparison on expense.
The ad touts Dr Thomas Eclectric Oil as the most popular pain relief oil. It claims superior healing qualities for joint, muscle, nerve pain, neuralgia, and rheumatism, urging readers to consult a druggist or medicine dealer.
A caller arrives as the new collector for the firm Dunn and Dunn, asking to know the honor of the visit while the resident greets him coldly. The scene underscores social tension in a formal, procedural exchange.
Mrs Smart reports overheard talk that Filbb's finances look good because his wife wears elegant hats and gowns. Grace asks if a little girl could be arrested for suffragette acts, mother reassures no, Grace expresses relief and glee.
The duke of Sutherland will auction 300000 acres of its Sutherland estate in October. A separate witness box scene recalls a stonemason describing injuring incidents involving tombstones and a tirade about a book title.
Daily claims tout Catarrhozone as a miracle remedy for catarrh, nasal discharge, and throat irritation. Personal testimonials describe rapid relief from runny noses and coughing after inhaling the pine scented vapor, urging readers to buy the $1 outfit or trial size from dealers.
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