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Newspaper
Cumberland Islander
Location
Cumberland, British Columbia, Canada
Date
Jun 13, 1914
Page
3
Fragmentary OCR mentions Yetherstonhaugh and Co head office at King Street East Toronto Canada with stray lines from a Boston Transcript quote and Mark Twain anecdote about a woman with her children. No clear event or outcome is stated.
The passage recalls Senator Zebulon Vance, youngest son of a large family. Their mother hoped one would become a Presbyterian minister, but he refused saying he was not good enough. She finally proposed he consider becoming a Unitarian minister, a suggestion he implicitly weighs.
An ad copy markets Marins Eye Remedy JE claiming relief for red weak watery eyes irritated eyelids and smarting sensations. It touts liquid and salve forms with aseptic tubes and lists price points 25c and 50c, offered by a Chicago firm Mating Eye Remedy Co.
The Hudson Bay railroad will cut about 1000 miles between Minnesota and the grain belts of the Dakotas Manitoba and Saskatchewan and northern Europe ports. Alongside the Panama Canal this four months shortcut is a major recent trade development. It promises to ease food distribution costs and aid global bajar.
A collage of quips and anecdotes features a boy’s query about a Jingo, a worm powder claim, a haughty bus passenger, a mis-timed bulletin and alert, a teetotaler with a red nose, a lawyerly will tale, Hampton Court bulb counts, and a wry remark about a guest who speaks only sense.
A reader extols Baby's Own Tablets promising relief for common childhood ills. The advert claims thousands of mothers agree and guarantees safety. Sold by druggists or by mail for 25 cents per box from The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ontario Mrs Fred Tinkham Southime.
A Brooklyn Life quip notes Miss Pertly remarking on the ideal of obedience and love. The item then shifts to a census glimpse: blindness is more common in men than in women, with ratios of 1,016 men to 1,424 women, while deafness is more common in women.
An old promotional claim touts Nerviline as a miracle remedy for sciatic pain lumbago rheumatism and other pains. Testimonial by James B Edwards says it cured his sciatica after other treatments failed and his family relies on Nerviline as a “family physician” for assorted ailments.
An outfitting shop scene captures a buyer balking at a brown felt bowler while the salesman extols its seasonliness. A Chesshire correspondent reports a boy fishing for snigs with dogged perseverance yet gloom, while a tale of an American girl traveling with a Liverpool girl ends with a quip about Sandy Hook and identifying a Scotsman in a crowd.
A passenger aboard a St. Lawrence steamer pressed the captain about rock locations. He answered calmly that he did not know every rock, but he knew where the channel is. This reflects the navigational caution required in dangerous river passages.
An old Scottish farmer mocks a horse by offering water and corn, joking the horse is the “vers. horse.” The ad voices Shiloh family remedy for coughs and colds with a long history since 1870. The text also includes scattered quips about time and a brief Harper’s Weekly quote.
Significance of Mr Viljaimur Stefansson, famed Arctic explorer, is noted as he shares Eskimo interpretations of phrases and of a sermon. A corner drug store proprietor recalls serving the public while two women demand to view the directory and question its completeness.
In a parliamentary reply the secretary for the treasury declines to split incomes above 500000 and states that six individuals are assessed for super tax on incomes exceeding that amount. The reply provides no breakdown beyond the 500000 threshold. A separate snippet advertises Parmelee's Vegetable Pills for indigestion, urging adherence to directions.
The author notes a universal standard in poetry across ages. He asserts the artist should humbly and lovingly present the best within, ignoring contemporary criticism, to honor the inner truth of art.
A humorous crime themed note recalls Mrs. Jinks in a scented scandal remark about a demure posture at a social event. The line suggests social gossip and witty innuendo without graphic detail.
A husband explains his business of earning money and its division. He says he leaves work at the office at night, while his wife inherits their money. The dialogue hints at financial and domestic tensions without explicit detail.
Feature snippet from the Chicago Record-Herald recounts a witty exchange about regret over marrying, with a playful reference to a mother's advice and a humorous line about past choices. The item reads as a light social quip rather than a news event.
Druggists refund money if PAZO OINTMENT fails to cure itching bleeding or protruding piles. First application gives relief. Then a playful exchange as a five year old proclaims his birthday and learns a teacher shares it, highlighting a child’s confusion and humor.
A witty remark describes a wife chasing her husband from the house with a stove-lifter and then crying because he left without kissing her goodbye. The exchange highlights a pointed take on domestic misbehaviors.
An amusing exchange after the second act features Fanny remarking the play gives food for reflection while a character notes a need to wash it down. Pluto jibes at Sisyphus and jokes about an endlessly breaking automobile to replace the stone stunt. The banter maintains light mythic humor.
The Cincinnati Enquirer quotes a humorous exchange about a preacher’s “angelo choir” saying it means a choir without jealousies. A burlesque line about Mrs Brown’s kleptomania and a Boy Willie-Paw query define an altruist as one content with government and ball games, in a folksy quip.
A dialogue from Illinois Street reports a meat market proprietor and a customer debating spoilage. The proprietor notes the meat came from a prize lamb and suggests it may have been pete red too much, indicating a possible quality concern tied to the lamb’s prize status.
Secretary of the Navy Daniels orders abolition of wine lists on all ships with a July first effective date. White House officials say the move came without presidential consultation. Surgeon General Bralsted had condemned the wine mess aboard warships and urged abolition.
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