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This newspaper page contains 10 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Cumberland Islander
Location
Cumberland, British Columbia, Canada
Date
Jan 10, 1914
Page
3
An uneasy scene unfolds as Mrs Newed confesses she rifled George’s pockets for change and found letters she had given him to post. A talk of legal costs and obedience to law follows, with Cynicus and others debating virtue, responsibility, and privacy.
A humorous tale recalls Uncle Ephraim selling a supposedly tame turkey to a man. The buyer finds shot in the bird and asks Ephraim about it. Ephraim persists that it was a tame turkey and reveals the shot was directed at him in a jesting account of mistaken intent.
The Irish patient, after a severe accident, begged not to be operated on by a doctor named Kilpatrick because his own name is Patrick. He asks the nurse to find another surgeon, noting Kilpatrick is considered clever but unlucky.
The piece argues overeating poisons the body producing aches and disease and urges regular liver and kidney function with Dr Chase Kidney Liver Pills. It also includes a joke about an elocution teacher insisting on bowing on tiptoe to avoid waking the audience.
Terminal elevators in Minnesota gained more than five million bushels of No 1 Northern wheat by mixing lower grades during the year ending August 31 1913. Total reception 17 666 059 bushels, shipments 17 866 698, on hand 5 06 218. Shortages in No 2 and No 3 Northern indicate grading shifts to No 1 Northern. No Grade shortages were larger, with 2 718 901 bushels lacking. Officials note private elevators likely increased mixing beyond public facilities. Farmers and legislators debate how profits from mixing affect farm shares and potential regulation.
Fragmentary OCR notes describe Minard's Liniments curing burns and other injuries. A gunshot wound and a tennis ball incident are mentioned along with a character called The Professor and a line about directing him to his base.
An advertisement extols Dr J D Kell oges Asthma Remedy promising to eradicate asthma and cure its cause after lengthy study and trials. The copy notes relief and positive results while weaving a domestic scene with a child dialogue about prayer.
Tender corn bits cooked at the factory arrive ready to eat directly from the package. Crisp, clean quality stated for immediate consumption.
The speaker predicts Josh will become a regular golfer someday and notes his tendency to stand pigeon-toed when highly interested. The remark lacks a clear incident or outcome but hints at developing talent and a curious habit.
A mother asks Johnny about Sunday school. Johnny recalls carrying home a magazine whose outside page featured Jonah and a whale, explaining the smell of fish on his hands.
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