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This newspaper page contains 32 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Cumberland Islander
Location
Cumberland, British Columbia, Canada
Date
Aug 16, 1913
Page
2
A woman gently rejects a marriage proposal noting their lives cannot be joined. The suitor remains polite, praises her, and admits he is writing a novel scene about such refusals. He reflects on past proposals and hints at his persistent pattern with seven previous suitors.
A humorous tale contrasts claims about fireproof safes and a cat surviving a 24 hour fire while another cat perishes after 48 hours. It also advertises Dr J D Kelloggs Asthma Remedy and its promised universal relief. A classroom anecdote ends with a witty student answer linking life and common substances to fish, chips.
A weary observer recalls standing in a slaughter house watching hogs be killed around him while a New Haven girl teases him about fear. The scene captures a blunt, humorous exchange amid a grim setting.
In Arkansas a lazy shoe shop owner on a box tells a customer he cannot wait on her until he is standing. Pat, finishing sticks for a visit from a benevolent woman, accepts whisky and water and jokes about the order. The fragment ends with a quip about an automobile and fountain pen management.
The Hague Court of Appeal upheld a Dordrecht decision denying Boer leaders’ request to restore certain South African relics. Dr Leyds’s application was admissible, and the disputed objects have been moved to South Africa for a national museum collection.
A collage of vignettes features a neighbor accusing a bride of overstepping, a Kansas visitor fearing bath access, a dusting housewife and a dutiful son, plus a discussion on Plankville’s wrangle over mudholes and highway funds. Also noted is a mobile Catholic chapel in the southwest, Grenoble water jet experiments, and a Venice case of a jealous husband shaving his seventeen year old bride's head.
A Washington man and his wife with frequent domestic tensions visit a married pair. Conversation reveals the wife Gladys often thinks first, while both halves describe the Joneses as charming and imagine their marriage as ideal and well matched.
A disjointed excerpt contrasts militant talk of victory with Shakespearean sermon imagery and the idea that saving money signals respect for scarce past opportunities. It hints at political manipulation and personal virtue through frugality.
A description contrasts a royal welcome for King George in Berlin with the Czar of All the Russias. Soldiers fill twenty five miles of rail lines, police seal stations, and disguises grimly guard the imperial entourage. The piece notes the autocracy’s shadow and the glare of security.
A testimonial promotes Baby's Own Tablets as the quick remedy for infant colic. Mrs. Wm A Smith of Rockhaven Sask praises their effect, noting they regulate bowels and soothe the stomach. Sold by medicine dealers or by mail from The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ont at 25 cents a box.
A warder found a prisoner not finishing his bread and attempting to hide it. He threw the bread out the window for the birds and sent the oakum to the prisoner. Later the inmate slept, and when asked about his work he replied that if birds can pick his bread they can pick his oakum too.
In a scene in Tiffin Ohio a man who had earlier been found in ambush encounters a sad faced girl standing in a store corner. She clutches mud as she peers around the street and asks who he is waiting for. The girl replies that she is queen of the May.
A fragment discusses continuing belief in witchcraft in the modern world with hair and nail clippings used to harm enemies by burning or burying them. It cites universal folklore about savages disposing of clippings to prevent harm and notes Australian native girls fear swift death if a lock is stolen.
Dialogues recount a humorous supper where a dinner bill totals 14.80 as a bird joke unfolds. Slobbs remarks the date includes a bird reference while another character notes an ostrich is a bird. The exchange turns to marriage plans with servants. A minstrel sweep entry hints at singing and upper registers.
The fragment notes 166,293 monks and nuns tied to Siam’s temples as part of a dialogue about greeting etiquette and a job inquiry. It presents a comic dialogue about brains in business and a request for a job, with characters Willie Charlie and a young man.
Tired of Walting Pudgeton and Mudmore, Puddeltonians decide supremacy as the newly elected captain funds a luncheon. The match ends with a tense stand by Madmere and a balked home umpire, fists and faltering calls echoing around the pavilion.
Arthur Roberts, famed comedian, faced a persistent admirer seeking stage entry. After repeated requests for advice, the man haunted the theatre. Roberts confronted him on stage and quipped that he was already on the stage, and should now simply get off, ending the pursuit.
The article extols Dr Thomas Eclectric Oil as a reliable household remedy for many ailments. It claims the product is cheaper than a doctor and should be kept on hand for unexpected calls.
At a Durham area village match the home captain was struck on the knuckles by a fast ball from the visiting ace. A boy shouted Serve him right while an elder warned against it. The batsman in pain was the village school master.
A fragmented early 20th century vignette follows a glove seller on Grant Street and a bold punch at class and marriage. A mother laments harsh client behavior while reflecting on her husband’s status, then a child imagines an unlikely spouse, a joke on social aspiration.
A magistrate and prisoner clash over labels as the inmate, a dock laborer, insists he is punished toward labor. The constable objects that the man is barely out of prison, while the prisoner asserts society consigns him to dock labor as a default fate.
A quip suggests writer's cramp improves with higher pay. The line implies salary increases relieve the ailment rather than medical treatment. It frames the joke as a workplace humor about productivity and compensation.
Engineers estimate Lake’s soda deposits at 200 million tons. The lake covers over 50 square kilometers. No game laws impede time-related hunting in the area.
A charity concert presided by a city councillor faced delays as a missing baritone failed to arrive in time. After apologies, another artist was requested and the crowd awaited the performer. The councillor then announced Mr Ampton would now render the much anticipated piece Howl.
In a brief exchange the couple reflects on their marriage as the resolution of their past difficulties. The male narrator hints at remaining concerns, while the wife remarks the union marks the end of their troubles. The dialogue conveys a mix of finality and lingering unease.
Ailing man visits a new doctor who offers to cure him by following a set of rules he has written. The man reveals he already followed those rules for a year, noting they were prescribed by his old doctor. He offers to exchange the list for new ones, highlighting the humorous contrast between advice and results.
A humorous aside notes that his success as a money getter is credited to his wife, but he shows no inclination to compensate her. The remark highlights a frugal man’s reluctance to share earnings.
A White Paper characterizes Luptingu, chief of the Basongi in the Congo, as a dangerous one eyed figure with 300 or more wives. It notes he pays 40 cents for each wife, illustrating his imposing status among regional leaders.
A speaker argues women push forward to advance, challenging the view that they seek lesser roles. She contends many women she knows are ambitious and aim to progress alongside men, not regress.
In a playful exchange about warm weather, Hubbs explains an umpire wears a chest protector to stay healthy. The dialogue notes catchers and players often speak up after decisions, sparking a chorus of commentary that intensifies the moment.
Italy's latest census records Rome with a population exceeding 638000, signaling continued growth over the past decade. The report notes a steady rise in residents and hints at migration trends affecting the capital’s demographic profile.
A ten year marriage described as a ploy to avoid work, now she spends all her time caring for seven small children. In Berlin meat inspectors use moving picture cameras to display microorganisms in motion on diseased meat.
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