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Newspaper
Chilliwack Free Press
Location
Chilliwack, British Columbia, Canada
Date
Oct 19, 1911
Page
3
A collage of reminiscent vignettes and classroom talk appears, mixing sharp social quips, legal repartees, and playful schoolroom arithmetic. It lampoons expectations of women, race, and judgment while wryly noting a dominie's math quiz and a boy's query about limpet like clinginess.
A humorous exchange unfolds in a jeweller's shop as a man questions a label on an ancient watch claimed to have belonged to Alexander the Great. The jeweller asserts the watch came from St Helena upon Alexander's death, provoking disbelief and comic banter about historical timelines.
Fragmented ad style text discusses a claimed catarrh cure with questionable internal use and blood effects. It mentions a Dr J C Hiege’s Dysentery Cordial, children urged to use hands, and a court scene joke about alimony, showing varied 19th century ad and legal tone.
The article recounts William Watts of Bristol inventing the gunshot tower in 1769 and securing a patent in 1782. It details molten lead drops forming shot, other sizes via alternate methods, and a six hour rotation for perfection. It also covers social notes on the Marquis and Marchioness of Graham, Lady Mary Hamilton, and ties to Epsom society and theatre gossip.
Captain Cook is celebrated as the first navigator to practical use in the Pacific, disproving the idea of a vast continent, and a statue by Sir Thomas Brock will be placed near the Admiralty Arch in London. The piece mixes mixed notes on aging deer in High Park and various disparate quips and quotes.
In Ragged Chutes near Cobalt miners build a vast power plant to drive drills 1000 miles from coal. A 660 foot dam, twin 66 pipe shafts to 350 feet, a 22 foot wide subterranean raceway, and a 20 inch German steel pipe line: bold engineering amid swamp and rock as crews grind toward power.
John Bain reports the first half of 1910 and 1911 UK Canada trade. Imports from Canada fell to 10,599,000 in 1910 and 8,481,000 in 1910. exports of UK and colonial produce to Canada rose to 9,511,000 in 1910 and 9,464,000 in 1911. Foreign exports to Canada were 1,439,000 in 1910 and 1,478,000 in 1911. Wheat imports dropped sharply from 3,825,000 in 1910 to 2,493,000 in 1911 while bacon and hams rose from 605,000 to 1,027,000.
In Lloydminster Saskatchewan a British subject quip by a visiting orator drew applause but a heckler pivoted the moment with a sharp question about future deeds. The exchange underscored how even high sentiment can backfire when speakers meet sharp local skepticism.
A collage of quips and snippets from a newspaper page includes a Munchausen joke about a traveler asking which house he travels for, quips from editors and readers, and jokes on baths, love letters, anarchism, and daily life. The mishmash mentions the Pittsburg Leader, Washington Herald, Chicago Record Herald, and Boston Transcript with brief witticisms and trivia.
Job listing seeks representatives to handle goods including bread with two dollars per day salary plus commission. Experience not required. Based in Illinois and Toronto area.
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