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Newspaper
Benalla Standard
Location
Benalla, Victoria, Australia
Date
Dec 04, 1925
Page
8
Thomas, the shy loner in town, falls for Millicent Smith after a hat incident and a growing charm. When a burglar threatens Millicent, Thomas faces danger singlehanded, proving his courage and earning Millicent’s affection and her father Mr. Smith’s approval.
A speaker recounts a misfortune at a large general store where the electric lights failed, plunging all departments into darkness. His friend jokes about the timing, and the tale ends with the first speaker lamenting bad luck in the grand piano department.
A speaker in Whitechapel addresses a humble, bright audience choosing Rhymes and Rhyming to show how poetry aids the poor. He notes rhyme challenges while a listener quips about a burglary rhyme and a seven year sentence.
Maria asks about a new velour hat while criticizing a faded battered hat. A reply notes the hat is old and worn, with holes cut along the sides and a string added to repair it. The dialogue hints at a petty dispute over appearance and value.
An elderly woman asks a cheerful Irishman for copper to aid her shortness of breath. He replies with a brusque warning that her remaining breath is strong, delivering a blunt, humorous rebuke.
A humorous exchange unfolds as a character complains the self start er won’t work and blames a possible short circuit. The other responds with playful frustration and suggests lengthening the device. The dialogue reflects practical car trouble humor.
A playful exchange features a man complimenting a woman with a line about a heart and time. The woman replies with a cheeky caveat about engagement. A father explains diplomacy through a pun about eyes and a face stopping a clock.
A comical scene from a frontier post shows O Brien kept busy on outpost duty as sergeants seek Colonel Kheen. The colonel arrives after long watch, questions salute, and O Brien proclaims himself the colonel in Irish bravado.
A schoolmaster eagerly accepts a pig joint from a boy’s father for Sunday dinner. The meat never arrives, and the teacher later learns the father’s pig was not hit but did better, leaving the meal a scratch affair.
In a small town a man named Jinks grows bright geraniums that attract his neighbor’s cat. After repeated plant damage and no remedy, the cat disappears. A neighboring parent questions Jinks's son George about cat sightings as a gun is mentioned in a tense, cryptic exchange.
A commercial traveller named Joblots recounts a surreal office staircase journey. He follows signs “This way for commercial travellers” to a long hall with guiding boards, ascends to a staircase, then ends up back in the street after a door on the lowest step opens.
Two commercial travellers joke about labeling luggage With Care China to prevent rough handling. Their quip backfires as the bags are shipped to Hong Kong, not China, illustrating misread labels can cause odd misdirections.
A young woman visiting an ancient seaport town comments that residents look unintelligent because they eat fish. Her guide retorts that without fish they would look even more ignorant, implying an irony about perceptions and diet.
The exchange centers on a quip about a daughter taking singing lessons followed by a grim punchline about others taking chloroform. The dialogue signals sly wit and a tense mood between Roberts and Smythe.
A collage of brief lines from a social club and transit setting shows jokes about photography, family, bottles, office mottos, lawyers and doctors, a coroner’s quip, a dream self question, and a train company boast about non-stop service.
Mary, praised as a thrifty wife, tries to waste nothing. Her mother’s lessons lead to a soup made from leftovers and broth, leaving Edwin puzzled by the mystery of the meal and its chicken derived ingredients. The domestic vignette highlights frugality with a humorous twist.
Mr Whately, a traveling salesman, wakes to knocks at his door about a package downstairs. He orders it left for the evening and tries to sleep again. The boy returns with news that the parcel is not for him, peeking round the door.
A patient salesman shows a wide stock to a curious shopper who asks for something newer. He unveils a discarded design describing a center motif with a border. She purchases it unaware the joke hinges on satire.
An unnamed amateur dramatic company staged Caste. In a scene a young man must woo his beloved in her parents room and, muddled by passersby, mangles his line to suggest a hidden nook. The misquote replaces intended words with comical phrases.
A street exchange mocks a husband for his wife who is said to be accomplished in art and science. The man notes she is at home in most fields except at home, prompting humor about domestic life.
A child, Roger Adams Suitt, spends a holiday with his grandfather and reads the family Bible. He spots a dry old leaf and wonders aloud if it once belonged to Adam and Eve, prompting reflection on its origin and significance.
A hotel guest questions the claimed homelike atmosphere of the dining room. The hotel man affirms the homey aim, while the guest notes no warnings about the cook leaving, milkman cheating, or local dogs in flower beds during four meals and challenges satisfaction if meals arrive late.
An Irish trial transcript records a dialogue when the defendant's counsel begins an argument. The justice objects noting, I don't want to hear both sides of the cause as it confuses the court. The exchange highlights a judge's preference for clarity.
A diner asks a waitress for her thoughts and she replies they are busy, joking about whether he is a stewed rabbit or a dolled fowl as she ponders his order.
A county cricket match luncheon was interrupted by a hungry crowd. A man shouted at a counter girl asking for the story of the mines, prompting a sharp exchange about the long wait and the joke turning bitter.
A county council funds a warning board at a dangerous hill. A councillor finds the worker digging at the hill foot and learns the sign is to be placed there. The worker explains accidents occur at the bottom, prompting the construction of the warning device.
A wife angrily declares she is going home to her mother after a serious quarrel. The husband remains calm and offers fare money from his pocketbook, but she says it is not enough for a return ticket.
A woman awakens in terror as she insists burglars loom nearby while her husband dismisses the danger. A deep voiced stranger reassures them, revealing they are not downstairs but upstairs as night falls.
A humorous tale traces a flannel shirt passed to family members from an adult to a child, shrinking with each wash. The narrator recalls how the shirt fit initially and how, after repeated washes, it no longer buttoned and shrunk to fit a doll, prompting a vow to confront the seller who claimed it would not shrink.
Carrie recalls Aunt Marla’s view that perfect contentment isn’t found in marriage. Uncle Harry recalls three missed chances, noting Marla and the pastor were present, suggesting no suitor could be found to play the husband.
A brief exchange shows a book canvasser asking if the boy is in pain and to see him. The boy replies yes but says the man is unavailable, serving a fourteen day sentence.
A collage of jokes and quips about stepfamilies money loneliness and daily chores. A mother explains stepmother to Matty while a servant is asked to call a dentist. A wife worries money talk and loneliness while a lecture attendee notes reserved seating.
In a humorous exchange two speakers debate a boat repair with playful Irish dialect. One notes a hole now lets water in while the other plans to add another to let it out. The banter centers on fixing a leaking vessel.
Vignettes capture a bustling scene with a variety of locals at an employment exchange, a concert, and street moments. Characters clash over terms like maturity benefit and eternal youth while others joke about stamps and discounts as modernity meets everyday speech.
A village joiner and undertaker clashed over a coffin crafted to size but found to be far too large. The dispute escalated until the undertaker refused to break it up and ordered it stored, joking about a man in ill health observing the situation.
Night porter spots a dazed man in pyjamas descending the sinka in a big hotel. The intruder claims to be a somnambulist, but the porter insists he cannot roam about in that attire regardless of origin.
Miss Mabel shows Mrs Mutch Bigg snapshots of people caught unawares. They laugh at a picture of Mrs Mutch Bigg running after a bus in pouring rain and her hair coming down after colliding with a policeman.
The exchange shows the editor pushing for what was said and done at a Parliamentary meeting. A reporter carries a roll of paper with notes of what was said and a slip detailing actions taken, reflecting newsroom priorities.
Two American visitors observe the crowded Cheshire Cheese in London. One quips that with such popularity the venerable tavern should be enlarged, sparking a lighthearted moment about the historic pub’s capacity.
A humorous dialogue contrasts a Hitler era matron and a younger matron over infant care while a son quips about life and labor unrest. An instructor tests rifle cleaning with an IrishPrivate Mulligan who says he would check the rifle’s number to ensure it is his own.
In a humorous scene a patient rants about the hospital as a nurse retorts about his tongue. An old gentleman quizzes a doctor on bending and dressing, while a mishearing Orator prompts a laugh at memory and mischief among the audience.
A conversational exchange shows a woman dreaming of a pearl necklace and a man replying with a dream book as the meaning. A teacher inquires about Johnny O Shea's father and he states he is a policeman.
A string of light anecdotes and quips feature Mrs Allister’s age seventy five, BI Hopkins’ fall from scaffolding, a doctor’s quack remark, a marriage proposal, old salts on boats, a golfer’s hole in one, and a girl witness’s sharp remark about oaths, revealing small town wit and social foibles.
A salesman pressured a prospective buyer over a motorcycle and Sidecar in a "pro-as-you ride" plan in installments. The buyer hesitated and noted he is a slow rider, delaying the purchase.
A man called to see the boss. He was tall and short at once, asking to borrow ten shillings. The quip highlights a humorous exchange about his height and intent.
Pullcash wakes to a nocturnal disturbance and hears a whisper warning of a burglar. The whisperer named Sikes slips downstairs and exits through the back door with stolen goods, avoiding arrest.
A multiracial group quarreling over medical treatment and a mustard plaster prescription. The doctor debates adding ham as a mitigating measure while a deaf elder and a niece debate whether Bert should see a doctor, revealing confusion and concern about the illness.
A series of quips about a boarding house sign promising patience, actresses boasting dialogue, a schoolmaster and preacher exchange about clothes, and playful banter among children and adults. The scenes mix jokes on beauty, age, love, and cheeky remarks.
A fragmentary recount details a fire scene with a delayed rear door opening and passengers urged to stay quiet. Voices mention being disturbed and a wary conversation about a blaze and timing. The text preserves a sense of tension and confusion from an older, stylized dialect.
A woman visits a newspaper ad office to place a four shilling ad for domestics. The clerk explains four lines cost, but she persuades to add four more words stating provide a “position man stationed opposite corner.”
Dialogue captures a domestic squabble with sarcasm and attempts at tenderness. A husband and wife exchange barbed lines about tea, ears, and needs, ending with a joking tease about having more legs and a better voice.
A smooth tongued canvasser claims opportunity knocks for all, but a wary housewife rebuffs him after recalling past refusals. She deflects with a pan of hot suds as the caller presses his pitch and departs.
A party of youngsters danced in a Potteries town hall while the MC noticed a lone young lady looking forlorn. He learned she had only a bun and a bottle of pop all evening, not a full programme.
Near Folkestown a sick wife asks a beloved orphan girl to marry her husband after her death. The girl, moved to tears, says they had already discussed such a plan. The wife then recovers, changing the fate of the arranged union.
A jumble of comic vignettes from a small town includes a mayoral procession interrupted by a mock noose arch, witty exchanges among townsfolk about poetry, doors, and babies, plus a stray note about a thief and a tramp. The snippets frame local humor and social foibles through quirky dialogue and misread phrases.
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