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Newspaper
Acton Free Press
Location
Acton, Ontario, Canada
Date
Oct 19, 1899
Page
7
A jumble of reprinted pieces describes Thanksgiving scenes with a Jersey of rustic humor and a New York Sun adage for Bilkle’s Syrup. Notices mention a drowning death near Boyne and medical cures for skin and liver complaints alongside a private marriage license service offered at the Fax Press office.
An audience member at a Wonders of the Telescope lecture claimed the moon could be brought within eighty miles and urged the speaker to lift it further. A Confederate company tale from Charleston recounts an Englishman mimicking officers with a cane as a field glass he drops while fleeing a crowd exclaiming he frightened the Yankees with his instrument.
A Boston yachtsman relates Lipton's account aboard the Shamrock in Southampton Waters. He recalls bargemen rowing near the yacht and asking what she is called. Bic Thomas answers politely that the vessel is the Shamrock, provoking comment about injustice to Ireland.
A Chicago Neirs item recounts a Sunday School scene where a teacher speaks of heaven and hell and a child replies with a joke about everlasting blister. Charlie then tells his mother he may become a preacher, noting churchgoing as incentive for mischief.
The ad claims Paine's Celery Compound strengthens kidneys and cleanses blood of waste, curing drowsiness melancholia low spirits wasting sickness and headaches. It asserts blood becomes bright red, circulation increases, and sleepers obtain eight to nine hours of rest. Thousands reportedly blessed in the West.
Samuel Haight of Sparta Ont reports severe rheumatic pain with swollen joints and poor sleep. After using a South American Rheumatic Cure, he says relief came within 24 hours and he regained mobility at age 88, now feeling 20 years younger and free from pain. He urges others to consider the remedy.
The text describes Booze Emulaion as a blood giving and strength producing food that removes the sense of utter helplessness from general debility. It emphasizes its restorative effects and tonic properties.
A Paris drogs maker shop theft tale reports a lady accusing young staff of theft after hair samples are collected and mailed with owner names. She intends to submit the hair and handwriting to a clairvoyant to identify the culprit, but receives an anonymous parcel with her purse intact.
Practical gardening notes urge digging soil to a foot to a foot and a half, enriching with oil or manure, or bonemeal if needed. Bulbs like tulips and hyacinths should be planted six inches deep, four to five inches for smaller bulbs, five to six inches apart, with each kind kept separate. An old saying ends the piece.
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