09 Nov 1899
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 13 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Acton Free Press
Location
Acton, Ontario, Canada
Date
Nov 09, 1899
Page
1
An excerpt blends the Chan of Canada with a light social comedy set in a New England like flat. The poem lauds Canada’s landscapes and wealth while a narrative follows Margery, Jack Beanely, and Ned in a domestic farce with a secretly overheard confession and a prank that ends in romance as Margery proclaims love.
The list assigns ages to many species: Rabbit six to seven years, Squirrel seven to eight, Fox fourteen to fifteen, Cat fifteen to seventeen, Dog sixteen to eighteen, Bear and Wolf eighteen to twenty, Rhinoceros twenty to twenty two, Hares twenty two to twenty five, Hen twenty five to twenty eight, Porpoise twenty eight to thirty, Camel and Cow one hundred, Tortoise one hundred ten, Eagles one hundred twenty, Elephant four hundred, Whuls one thousand years.
A nervous curate misreads the reading desk announcing mending chapter of the duke of Booteronomy. The vicar frowns, the curate blushes, and repeats boot of Dakeronomy as mispronunciation hints appear. Later the vicar reads I publish the manner of barriage.
Robert Barr argues in the November Canadian Magazine that Canada has wealth but shelves books for whisky and shows little intellectual ambition. He compares Canada to Scotland and notes Sir Walter Scott’s cash driven fame and regrets Canada’s reluctance to fund literature, ending with a string of Irish and English wit anecdotes.
A traveling French physician visited a town and pretended to lose his dog. He offered a 500 franc reward to anyone who found it, listing his titles and residence to boost prestige. The town buzzed with the claim of a wealthy, clever doctor, while the dog remained unfound and patients were found instead.
A man with one eye wagers with another man who has two eyes that he can see more. The bet is accepted. The one-eyed man claims he can spot two eyes in the rival's face, while the rival sees only one in return.
A collection of anecdotes on how people cultivate minor ailments as excuses to avoid duties or dull social events. It contrasts self delusion with the value of health, cites a patient with a solitary incurable illness choosing joy, and ends with a professor who jokes about annual gatherings, illustrating vanity and restraint in human conduct.
A freckle faced girl asks if anything is for various Murphys at the post office. Responses are consistently no for all Murphys listed, until she pleads there might be something for Clareves Murphy. The scene underscores a humorous, sweeping denial with a single hopeful exception.
An excerpt from James Buckham in Harpers Bazaar reflects on a father kissing his child May in the garden. The speaker muses on divine tenderness and human love, urging humility before God and the innocence of a child as a guide to compassion.
An old countryman and his wife attend a magic lantern demonstration. The microscope reveals water creatures that grow to twelve feet, sparking Janet's fear. The husband urges them to stay, while she pleads to leave, fearing a ferocious outbreak.
Early Whit Monday at a north country station a pushing crowd drives a child toward an outgoing train. Quickss a Hash slips under the wheels but a laborer dives onto the four-foot, saves the child, and emerges unhurt, distressed by the mess of broken eggs and rhubarb pie in his tea and sugar.
The Canadian Bookseller notes 8 000 copies of No 5 John Street sold in two weeks in Britain with a first Canadian edition of 5 000 copies. Crockett's Kit Kennedy tops two weeks with 2 600 copies.
A storm confronts a ship with an assertive skipper and three youths while a timid minister trembles. The captain dismisses fear with a sharp rebuke, and a joking exchange reveals a risky, tense moment aboard the vessel as a minor crisis unfolds.
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