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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Acton Free Press
Location
Acton, Ontario, Canada
Date
Dec 28, 1899
Page
4
A reflective column mocks New Year resolutions as treacherous promises that flatter, then condemn, urging readers to avoid pledges and simply strive to be good. It cautions that self praise fades fast and time moves on, with a literary reference to the Bird of Time.
An American traveler finds Londoners generally courteous and helpful though ready with a robust joke. Near Millbank prison he asks directions and is told by a tradesman to knock him down to find the straight road there, then moves on with a chuckle.
When children are thin, give Scott’s Emulsion. For twenty five years it has helped thin children become plump and healthy. Scott and Bowne, chemists, Toronto.
At a Danish army camp near Hald in Jutland the Crown Prince, in command during autumn maneuvers, buys a cartload of buns for hungry soldiers paying a penny each. He tells the treasurer to settle the bill, and the troops cheer the generous act.
A Paris anecdote recounts Baroness Burdett Coutts being shuffled between counters while shopmen repeat the password two ten. Written as a cautionary tale, a porter explains it means keep your two eyes on her ten fingers, revealing the ruse on the wealthiest British woman.
An early tale about Paul Kroger and a hunting party who, after fasting, prayed for sustenance and predicted hartebeest would appear in three days. The prophecy spurred the group to camp, and game arrived, while a Kaffir guide later spread a fearful tale to drive prey toward the Boers. The story reflects mistrust and the perception of Boer methods.
An obese mercantile traveling agent telegraphed a conductor to stop at a small station for a large party and boarded the train asking if he counted as a large party. A separate tale recalls a country merchant deacon who shamed drummers by denying patronage to some establishments and ordering from others.
The ad cites Mrs John Douglas of Fuller Ontario praising B B B for impure blood pimples and headaches and says four bottles cleaned her skin and cured other troubles. It also advertises Dr Thomas Eclectria Oil and Dr Fowlers Extract of Wild Strawberry for cough cold diarrhea and dysentery with testimonials from readers.
Purported ad style copy extols Doan’s Kidney Pills as a cure for bad backs caused by hard bakery work. It cites Walter Buchanan of Sarnia Ontario praising relief from back pain dizziness and urinary trouble after using the product. The text then shifts to a humor fragment about New Year resolutions and domestic sparring between Thumbscrew spouses.
A humorous dialogue shows a stern father denying cake while a sobbing little girl pleads for more. She insists the request is rightful, and the exchange ends with her demand for cake.
The piece frames the New Year as a threshold with Love as the guiding key. It venerates Love as the enduring interpreter of time, a calm force amid upheaval, capable of sustaining peace or facing peril, while others falter.
A garbled note touts a South American nervine remedy called Nervine Offera claimed to bring strength and happiness to women described as lanquid. It references supposed help and balanced vitality with no verifiable evidence.
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