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The trouble with most of us is that we have a notion we can't be happy if we are not spending money. Habit clings. It even clings to a man with such a massive mind as President Wilson The other day Mr. Wilson contributed $500 to the Democratic campaign fund, and he started his letter with a “May is not,” Down with the heckler. We don't believe, is right to even heckle a Democratic candidate. The eighteenth and nineteenth amendments to the national constitu tion have been found a constitutional, and may now be regarded as facts. Someone in the back part of the hall has arisen and Inquires what will the twentieth amendment deal with. Would it not be wise to make a meal. Are prohibiting so much foolish talk about the eighteenth and nineteenth amenments? For the edification of the bars up stairs. Gomer Davies: “A young lady linotype operator at Seneca was shot last week by a discarded lover, who then turned the gun on himself with fatal results. The young lady may recover. We have been impelled on several occasions to go to the back end of the office and shoot the lino type operator—but not because of misplaced love. It is none of our business. But we can't keep from stating that 300 people gathered at the high school campus Saturday night and “mooch ed” a band concert. The concert, which was given under the auspices of the American Legion, lost money. Putting you “hep” to names of new dances. A New York dispatch, Dr. John Reach Straton, preach ing recently in Calvary Baptist church, attacked the modern dances as “a bait of the devil.” Referring to the recent convention of the Amer ican National Association of Dancing Masters, he said: “The plea these men make that they desire to “puri fy the dance’ and make it safe is idle and entirely beside the point. You cannot purify a polecat!’ The action of the dancing -masters in naming their new dance “The Wes leyan,” Dr. Straton declared, was an insult to the entire Christian world. The new dance, he prophesied, will “soon be turned into “The Wesleyan Wiggle, and will be followed by ‘The Episcopal Embrace,” “The Congrega tional Canter,’ “The Presbyterian Promenade” and “The John the Bap tist Bounce. The only way to fight this “bait of the devil,” he said, is to destroy it root and branch. “The weak excuses that people make in justification of the modern dance are idle. Some say we ought to dance for the sake of grace, but the only @race in the modern dance isa the disgrace of it.’’ A story for today: A Grass Wid ower was about to Get Married Again. Addressing the organist of the church, he said, ‘Man, is it absolutely necessary to play the march from ‘Lohengrin’ at every wedding? The organist, being one of those rare musicians devoid of the abominable artistic temperament, replied that he would gladly omit that particular march at the wed ding. And he kept his word. Dur ing the ceremony he kept playing “Over and Over Again.” Prof. Charles Mennedy: “The Chinese, have one custom that I re fuse to scoff. Every man in China wears five buttons on his coat to remind him of the five important virtues: Humanity, justice, order, prudence, rectitude.” Joe Folk has bought a $125,000 residence in Washington, D. C. Mr. Folk became wealthy telling us com mon folks that we are oppressed. Alexander J. Bratkovsky, a Russian newspaper man, has been arrested in connection with the bomb outrage on Wall street. He may not be guilty of bomb throwing, but he probably has whiskers that are an insult to humanity, and it would be well to help him in durance vile for several years. We are learning to drive our new Packard. For that reason we are more or less nervous and hot re sponsible for what we write. Today's most reckless paragraph follows: If Lydia Pinkham were an independent candidate for president this year, she would sweep the country. On a C count of the mediocrity of the can didates now in the field. A political year is a good year to quit smoking. This is, of course, a stab at the campaign cigar. If the girls will not listen to rea son, and insist on wearing few clothes, some of them should wash their necks more frequently and pol ish their edbbows. They say that the only thing that made an Atchison man @ better man was lightning. Did you ever see @ college or high schoo] professor who had @ massive brow? Neither did we, Atchison has a human snake. You can be happy in almost any climate, if you want to be, + fer Closing grunt: Elihu Root says Russia is sound at the core, But Russia is, of course, a Bon Davia through and through,
Newspaper Details
Atchison Daily Globe
Atchison, Kansas, US
Mon, Sep 20, 1920
Page 4
Full Page
Clipped by
Nathan S.
USA 01 Sep 2026
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