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*Outdoors Girl Should go Indoors(By Max Afford).SUMMER is coming.Recently the thermometer decided to end depres-sion, at least in Us own particular vicinity, and shot up to 80 degrees. Here is proof that the torrid season is marching on us, bringing in its tcake the usual army of nuisances. Flocks of stinging mosquitoes, rainbow-colored bathing suits, beach pyjamas, melting butter, faulty refrigerating sets, bail livers, and—the sports girl.TpHE sport* girl if a strange genus.Like the poor, she is with u* all1 the year round, but it is only during! the smniuer month* that she become* j a menace to mankind. In th# a inter | she is inclined to be lethargic, and pre-, Ter* the bridge table. And »h* to favor getting her love from Georgette Hcver rather than the tennis court. But 6omehow the first touch of th- tun makes her as lively ;tc! a Communist’s meeting, and nothing short of a straight-jacket will restrain her.Its time something was done about it!Apart from the faet that women are notoriously poor losers in any game and can therefore neyer hope to make a sue-res* of sport. I wonder if they realise ho** funny they look when they step from the beauty parlor into the sports arena? I intend to lie brutally frank euough to remind them that cricket played by women geta more chuckle# from the spectators than Charlie Cbap-lin’s most hilarious effort, and a girU’ football game m apt to aend the average uian into acute hysteria.'pmsOPORT w primarily responsible ior thut ^ appalling type of woman that *eod* strong men lie*-ins for shelter. I mean 1 the modt-rn Junoeaque female who *»wav-Kcn in. cigarette on her lip and n pa* k of yelping just ou her heels. She bo* , either lecn for a long ride or -« short . walk—in any ca*e. ahe is untidy, blown .about, and almost unbelievably hearty Cooking about it all. She wants to know why you are laxing about on this besuti-ful day. (It is usually about 10 deg.The sporting young women are usually as conspicuous as aio the shade.) What you really waut to pep you up. she aaya, is « good. stiff game of tennis. *ou tell her politely (if she is a new acquaintance)-that you are limp from over-exhaustion aireadr If she is a friend you brusquely tell her to go and bury herself.Xo normal man would marry a type like that. It would be like tying oneself to a physical culture instructor!* • «is really a plea for the modern young woman to go back iuto the house. There are enough thing* there to keep her waking houra occupied. Rome may be the place of lost arts, hnt the average household runs it a close second. 1 am going to name a few indoor sports on which our young woman might well concentrate.It may be difficult to find a needle in a haystack. But it’a most unusual to find one in n woman's hand these days. S|*-ak to the modern girl about a needle and she begins to hunt inside the phono-graph. The art of needlework in almost as extinct as the dodo. There should he a law passed that every woman mast embroider at least one sampler before she reaches the age of 18. After that, such small thing* n«* loocc buttons and torn pocket* should n resent no difficultiessmall boy's missing front toitth. You can pick them out even at a Monday morning star bargain rush. They are as uniform as the Tiller girls, but not nearly so graceful. Oh, no. Low-heeled shoes. Thick ankles. Arms like a coal-heaver. An aggressively masculine slouch.This array of awkwardness is usually set off with a flaming yellow sweater and an orange beret, a combination that is about as retiring and as unassuming as a thunderclap.book i* usually to He fond under the piano, or thrust in the back of the cupboard with Aunt Mary’* photo and father’s battered bowler hat. The only serve that the modern girl knows anything about occurs on the tennis court and if she strays into the kitchen, she feels rather like Alice must have felt when she walked into Wonderland. Miss mi can tell you all about Havelock Ellis and l. H. Lawrence, but Mrs. Keeton is unknown to her.Piano PlayingNow. here is a serious problem. In the average homo today the cookeryJust another lost art. 1 don’t moan the playing of things like My Canary Has Circle* Under His Eyes,” but theCno-playing of our grandmothers, who *w so much about music that they treated it aa serious task and not aa a recreation. The playing of Ucbuasy's Apres Midi d'uo Faune,” that btraugc. weird melody like the magic pipes of Pan. Chopin's waltzes, and Beethoven's “Pathetique. And finally—The Art of ConversationFew women can converse intelligently. They cither bore you witb inanities or drown you with bathos. If they put the same energy into gathering a collection of entertaining small talk as they do in hiking, riding, and playing foot-liall. the world would resemble a page irora Thomas More s Utopia. But then that would be too much to hope for.
Newspaper Details
Adelaide Mail
Adelaide, South Australia, AU
Sat, Oct 24, 1931
Page 11
Full Page
Clipped by
Anonymous
AU 10 May 2021
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