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Not Much Comfort for Them When They Contemplate the Latest Edict of ash fom, Doomsday is rapidly overtaking stout ladies who have calmly witnessed the coming of all fashions and the gov ing of the same, placid, unvexed and undisturbed. Growing more fat from a state of contentment, and more content from a state of fatness. True, they have had to hunt out special stay makers and shoemakers and frock makers, and hailed the elastic stretchable Jerseya with a delight which has threatened a collapse at the rumor of them being removed, because scraggy people have grown tired of stalling arms and necks for big skin-tight garment, which sticketh closer than a poor relation. There always came in, in each sea son, such a distingue lot of dolmans for fat ladies, and fat people move with such squeaky-stoed majesty through a crowd as to command atten tion where slim, wiry females would remain comparatively unnoticed. Lat women look better lying back on the cushions of a coupe than the clapboar sisters, who spoil all by their nervous at the blinds and their craning are seen, +says Fashion had always a pleasant little donation for her three hundred pound slaves, who grabbed at it eagerly, and were 98 pleased as a chilt with a new head for its dislocated doll. Fat women smile a good deal because they have lost sight of their large feet, and are not as nervous over ill-fitting shoes as big as the fun to a threshing machine. But, alas! content is deeing far away and the new state of things will inevit ably bring on nerves again and thin ness, the result always of much worri ment. Fashion, for once, has completely ignored. dsome, fleshy ladies, who look handsome because of their splen did proportions, although you never met ane who did not tell you she sat up nights reading exhaustive treatises or how to become thin Like the artificial Savva—the stout Iady, in spite of her girth and ponder ous walk, will soon be lost to sighs, to make room for the new creature of the hour. The raw-boned, shingle-made, maga zine-plate arkele is rising in the horzon fast, and long necks, long, shapeless waists, suppressed hips, angular arms and a general step-in-the- back kind of woman is to rule the covert, the camp, the grove.” There are very few feshy old maids. They say worry keeps them fat chested and thin as hornets. Now is the time for this sisterhood to come from their seclusion and make one more grab a bug wary man—man, that arch deceiver, who bag thus farbid beer rainwater barrel, or his own conceit, and eluded the exterior. There never lived a little girl who, upon meditating on the future and her mother's borrower fashion books, did not long from her inmost soul to look some day just like Sue impossible, high shouldered, small-waisted, pine-board sort of a lady dres: up as fine as a fiddle in the books. Now, little maids, your wishes may be gratified to your heart’s content. The corsetmakers are insane with glee, as no ready-rude machine can flush, compress and flatten the female works as can she whose business it is to concoct vices, not cradieste them. Somebody is bound to be killed with all this foolishness, of course! Doctors have labored for years to bo away with even the loosest stays, as a necessary abolishment before a race of stout, sturdy, great-lunged women can be torn. Where are the snags going for the summer? Somewhere to incommode livers, spleens or other stay-at-home organs, who are not situated to take in boarcers for any time. Neat winter consumption will write his spidery au tograph on many a now blooming check, and ulcers of the liver will be come the rage. They will come high, but, in the language of the day, women must bare them. No sooner did common sense and spinal diseases ostracise high heels than fashion be thought hor of another, more railroad-sort-aad for women, and lo! the small waist and long, tight corsets are here.—St. Lews Repub lican, General Grant. When Grant was in Chicago, three or four years ago,” said an aroy of eval, “he lounged about Sheridan’s headquarters a good deal. His son Fred was at that time on Sheridan’s staff, but was absent one day, and Grant took his place at Fred's desk and looked after the business. A persons, fidgets, irritable old fellow came in to inqui for fake paper that he had left with Frau. When he stated his case, Grant took up the matter in a system atic way, and proceeded in the manner of an over-anxious clerk to look the paper up. The document could not be found, and Grant, apologizing, walked with the old gentle to the door. As T walked down the stars with the mal hnied visitor, he turned sod asked: Who is that chi codger? Is is the politest clerk I ever saw at militar headquarters. I hope Sheridan in keep him.’ I answered quietly, ‘That is freneral Grant.’ The fidgety old aeutrcman, after staring 2 for a full minute, said, well And fervor:E will give sou ffty cents of you will kick me down so many Evening Journ 1. —The latest Lu whstman who' b written a book on America, Me. amused to see i waiting-room at the Minneapol South's ingeripten poste congpien onaly on the wall: “Gentlemen will not and other persons are requested not to spit on the floor.’ The admoni tion seems, however, to have received but little attention. In a hotel in the same city—a small and very unclean one it to have been—this notice WAS posted over the jack-towel hung up for the convenence of those Who wished to prepare themselves for d eer: “You are requested to wash be fore you wipe. —A. ¥. Poot.
Newspaper Details
Decatur Weekly Republican
Decatur, Illinois, US
Thu, Jun 18, 1885
Page 7
Full Page
Clipped by
Kelley L.
USA 12 May 2026
Other Publications Near Decatur, Illinois
Decatur Daily Review
Decatur Morning Review
Decatur Evening Herald
Decatur Republican
Decatur Weekly Republican
