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Woe, Woe is Kentucky.C'luis. B. Wolf, who howls for the I'ickuey ville Democrat, is guilty of the following extravaganza aneut our sister state, which doubt’ess was inspired by the several bloody feuds now existing there:“Man bom in the wilds of Kentucky is of feud days and easy visit. He lisheth, tlddleth, fusseth and iighteth all the days of his life. He shunneth water as a mad dog and drinketh much whisky. When he desireth to raise h—1 he plant-eth a neighbor, and lo, lie reapeth twentyfold. He riseth even from his cradle to seek the scalp of his giandsire’s enemy and bringeth home in his carcass the ammunition of his neighbor's wife’scousin’s uncle’s father-in-law whoavengeth the deed. Yea, verily, his life is uncertain and lie kuoweth not the hour when he may be jerked hence.“He goeth forth 011 a journey ‘half-shot and commeth back 011 a shutter shot. He riseth in the night to let the cat out and it taketh nine doctors three days to pick the buckshot from his person. He goeth forth in joy and gladness and conieth back in scraps and fragments, lie calletli his fellowman a liar and get-teth himself tilled with scrap-iron even to the fourth generation. A cyclone bloweth him into the bosom of his neighbor’s wife and his neighbor’s wife's husband bloweth him into the bosom of Father Abraham before he has had time to explain. 11c emptieth a demijohn into himself and a shotgun into his enemywand his enemy’s son lieth in wait 011 election day, and lo, tlie coroner ploweth up a forty-acre Held to bury the remains of that man. Woe, woe is Kentucky, for her eyes are red with bad whiskv and her soil is stained with the blood of dam-ijits! Selah.”
Newspaper Details
Albion Journal
Albion, Illinois, US
Thu, Jul 06, 1899
Page 1
Full Page
Clipped by
Anonymous
USA 06 Mar 2022
Other Publications Near Albion, Illinois
Albion Journal
