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HOW TO CATCH A TROLLEY.Troltejr lt;«r« tirt very Rwlff; Trollejr car* are qu’ckly rn’ffed. Many a time I’ve seen a troller Kick it# heels rucJ mo like folly lo»t Uecauae aome little witWared bla silly hand at it.Kaw, to catch a trolley car, tVrtaiti Iron bound rule# there arc First of which ia not to let ItKrer gues» you wish to get it. *lt;*lt;Nml. wear a deep disguise; ('any bundles great in hiz*\ the car will never dream Von can run-you see the scheme(in can in? dawned upon me. Now Pattfewa a aecurcij engaged, i no longer con-ntituted a danger and might be tolerated a* a not too intimate acquaint? nee. 1 was accordingly invited to luncheon onthe morrow. IPSPresently I left the trio, and. wandering again, bad the good fortune to meet Mrs. Van Oppen. who, in the latest Parisian triumph, looked more bewilder-ingly magnificent than *»ver.“1 am pleased to see you, Hugo Trench!** she cried. “You’ll just spare half an hour right away u* chat withme!*When ii rolls remorseless by,Drop your bundles there and fly! ft mi lrke mad. however far:Throw away your fresh cigar,Throw away your parasol.Throw' away your hat and all.Run until you catch the car, fall aboard, and th»*re you arc!— Saturday Evening PostiMuLli.MLU II Lnr i;n.m:uT paylk.I had readied Monte Park* in themorning, selected my hotel, and after an igreenbie dejeuner had sauntered out to take my first till of the sunshine. Already I had seen many familiar facesind now, as I gently sank into a seat m the casino terrace, 1 wondered howting it would he before the most intercut-ng young person I knew discovered my irrival in the gilded principality.I w as not kept long in suspense, for •resently 1 heard a volet* utter a little j 'Xciumation of surprise, ami. looking on,saw Mis* Pat tie liethcrloii standing bc-ore me.“lingo Trench! What on earth arerou doing here?”‘•(Hi, the usual thing,” I replied, with aiod at the casino.A mile dimpled over her face as she sat down beside me.“It’s hereditary, I continued, gloomily.•Jlave you ever heard of my great-! rnndfnther. who gambled avvav his es-ates at (’rock ford's in a single night? Ie wa s one of I lie original dandies.Km she was unconvinced.“Clerks in the war office don’t general-V come* to .Monte ('arl / in February.” lie observed.‘Why not? Even a war ollhe clerkakes a holiday sonic time or other, and j are not very busy now.1 suppose the ar '.flici*- ’ lie began. “Oh, please don’t make a joke about he dear old place!'* I interrupted, plead-ngly. “The professional humorist has ! ready nearly succeeded in getting us ankod with the mother-in-law. and. if ii if you make jests yourself on the opie. how can you hope to laugh when on hear them on the stage or see themit the papers?”She looked very humble -and. inch ieiitally, morl' than usually pretty. If irU only kaew how humility suitedhem I Wv-...?£“I was merely going to observe that I opposed the war office wouldn't miss j oil,” she said, meekly. j“The apology is accepted,” I said in a one of relief.“I haven't yet learned why you are ere, she continued, gazing at me crit-•ally. “And why-why are yo i wearing hav ridiculous little black tie with your anncl suit?”I gave one reason.“Ii serves as a reminder of what I’ve *sf after a year of hope,” I said, with a nigh. ■It must be explained lhaf 1 had seen good deal of Pat tie in town, and I hink we should have seen a great ileal lore of each other had it not suddenly ecurred to Mrs. Iletherton that it was icrcly a poor clerk in the war otliee. Why, in heaven's name, did my dandy f a great-grandfather spend that night t lt;* rock ford's ?| As r. result of the awning of this idea she had promptly eiuoved her daughter rrom my sphere of ii flue uce and myself from her mental st of desirable acquaintance#.Of course, it might be said that, if \ittie truly loved me, she might have himately won me by a steady resistance her parent's wishes. Exactly! Hilt, lien, I had no reason to think that Pat tie oked upon me as much more than an grecuhle conservatory companion, and, i fact, my merely civil attentions to a ertain Mrs. Van Oppen, a delightful imcricftn widow, had estranged evenliese relations on the Inst occasion wead met.And now she was engaged to Lord Er-est Khtkenhnrst, a monstrously stupid oung man who had only escaped inutri-mny before by a scries of lucky acci-cnts. He had no vices beyond his e\-leine foolishness, and no virtues in nddi-iou to his title and money. He was, lu reforo, an excellent “catch.” and, nowiiig Mrs. Iletherton’s strength of luiracter and Klnkenhmst’s weakness of lind, I had very little doubt as to how 1m* present state of affairs had been at-ived at.“I’ve never been engaged.” I observed,uesenth . “I suppose one is very, very nippy '' * ' I“Yes, very happy!” !u* answered, de- ! isivclv, closing her little lips firmly to- j:ethe$*S I1 wonder »d whether she w: s merely oval to a bargain her mothe: had thrust qmn 1 -«•**. or did she rare for him? She vas very bright, and he infinitely stupid. | dttt you can never tell.She looked up at me quickly, and her lext W0$iteiice told me that this par! of lie discussion was closed.”f don't think it’s gambling.” she said, h liberatciy. “Mrs. Van oppen ilt; lien*!”•ho added, after a pause, as it rio-rc were hi need of further explanation.As far as I knew. Mrs, Van Oppen might have been in Peru, but 1 was a little startled by tin* coiueidcucc. Puttie, However, was a long way from the true state of affairs which was just m well.”;',ve *»««*lt;I W poor littleJ.,1 ^ said, with a laugh.Nhe turned to me with an ai erediiht vA -“And do you really hope? Mrs. VanSo we strolled round to the terrace again and sat down. I learned that her yacht, the Gadfly, was in the port, and that she wan taking her fathet. Cot, Silas ifibhert. and a few other friends for a short cruise. She rattled on for sonic time vivaciously, then suddenly paused. v kjt**I suppose you know the Iletherton* are hero—with him?” she said, with a tightening of her lips.Mrs. Van always treated me as a con* frdcntiul friend. It was this attitiuD that had led Pattic to a wrong a.*-sump-tiofi. *“Yes, I have met* them. How arc yontaking it? Am 1 to commiserate witli you, or doesn’t it matter now?” 1 asked, for 1 knew the exact state of affairs.“It matters more than ever. I was never so disappointed in my life. To think that another day witu him Inst autumn and I should have been Lady Blakenhurst! Just pure ill luck that bewas called a wav at that moment!” she exclaimed.She was not exaggerating. It allowed a deplorable lark of originality for a wealthy American, but the fact remained that it .was Mrs. Van’s one ambition in life to marry into the English aristocracy and secure a title, and she had been within an ace of capturing the weak-minded Klakenburst.“I am more sorry than I can say.” I said, sympathetically. This was perfectly genuine, for I was thinking of Patti*.“And to be beaten by Mrs. Iletherton!'* cried Mrs. Van. She paused, as if words wen* too much for her. “Of course, I know that that dear girl. Pat-fie. had nothing to do with the entanglement it was purely her wretched mother's doing. She had the opportunity. and she utilized it. As you know.yacht? all is?has put Klakenhurst into a bunk.” I observed. “Perhaps you may have heard of the merits of the colonel’s ‘Chicago Twist?’ ”She gave a little laugh.“lie’H sleep tht clock round, you know, unless some one wakes him,” I added, meaningly.She suddenly faced mo.“Supposing nobody did wake him—that he slept right on miti 1 tomorrow morning? Of course, we shouldn't know he was in the cabin!” she said, in a low voice of suppressed excitement.So It Was a plot!“It’s abduction!” T said, firmly.She htughe l gaily. H.-“To take a trip on n friend’s Don’t you see how ingenious it He will wake up and find hirnseif on the way to Genoa! And two days in my society! Do you grasp it?*’“Oh. ! quite sec!” i said, slowly. 1knew very well that Iilakenhurst. left in her hands, would be as clay, if the yacht once sailed with him, Pattie’s chance of becoming Lady lilnkcithttrv* would vanish completely. He would throw her over and marry Mrs. Van within a month, f had not the slightest doubt as to the little widow's ability to do this if givt a the present ehar.ee.“I should jtiat like to inquire why you invited me tonight V” I said. “Wouldn’t a maneuver of this type have been better with as few witnesses us possible?”She linked her arm within mine.‘I thought, dear Mr. Trench, being nch a good friend of mine,” she began, persuasively, “that tomorrow, when youdiscovered that poor Ernest bad been left on the yacht by mistake, you might tell his valet to pay his hotel Dill and bring his things on to Genoa. You we, otherwise his disappearance might cause souiesurprint*.’*“i think it may probably cause surprise under any circumstances.” I said, dryly, having Mrs. Iletherton in mind.Mrs. Van positively gurgled in her enjoyment of the situation.“Isn't it just cute, Mr. Trench? I knew it would please you. Hush!” sin-said, vtirningly, as one or two of the others came up. *i had no further chance of talking alone with the good but enterprising widow. so followed the little party into the music saloon. Presently—Mrs. Van was about to sing—i managed to slip out. , quietly. 1 felt I wanted to think, anyone lt;:u. manure poar hrn.-xt-that is. Paring tbc deck, I turnedanybody with a will- and she bad tht chance.” she finished, ruefully.“(’lotnee is everything—partb-nlarl.v at Monte Dario.” 1 remarked, not knowingquite what to say.“And I firmly believe the dear boywould have been happier with me. Icould manage him better than tin inexperienced girl like Pattic.”Mrs. Van had certainly managed on* husband very efficiently. He had worked lomuiendably bard to make money, ami then, just as comtnendablv, died.*T hate Mrs. Iletherton!” cried the little widow, vindictively. “A id if I had him to myself for an hour or so—even now! she continued, meditatively.I gave a start.“Has he not elt;*n you yet?”“No; but 1 ’in going to /end him a note —just to remind him of old times!”“Oil, 1 shouldn’t!” I put in, hastily. “Wouldn’t it be rather embarrassing forall parties?”Mrs. \‘an*s eyes twinkled miscliievous-iy. t , , , Jl|“I wouldn’t mind embarrassing Mrs. I lotherton.” sai*l she.l ater it. tin* day I met her father, the gallant “colonel,” who belonged to n somewhat rougher school than his brilliant daughter, hut he was amusing, and I rather liked him. He was intensely proud of M’s. Van’s progress and was just as anxious for hei to marrj into the English aristocracy us she tie; self. I dined with them that evening on the Gadfly, and had an enjoyable time.Two days slipped away; I saw a littlethe thinover in my miuo. the question was, Should T let Pattic lose her chance? Whatever his mental abilities, it was a big thing for her to b«M*omc Lady Khik-enhurst, and she might possibly care foi him. Anyway, she would look veryfoolish being jilred in this fanhion. Could1 let Mrs. Van do it?“No, tl’m hanged if I can-It isn’t cricket!” I exclaimed, as I came to a decision.I crept up to the music saloon. Airs. Van was singing lustily, and likely to be doing so for some minutes. Then I hurried up to the deck cabin and let myself in. Klakenburst was lying o:i the hunk ui a heavy sleep. I picked up a water bottle and dashed some of the contents in his face.“What’s that?” he said drowsily.I persevered with the water bottle, and soon had him in a sitting position ana abb* to take in my remarks. I told him ho had behaved abominably, a;;,! that Mrs. Van would never forgive him.“A our only chance to save your honor is to slip away quietly this very moment without seeing any one. Mrs. Van is ranging, and yon will not he noticed,” 1 said.His mind was too blurred to criticise the sense of my argument, and he accepted my decree without demur. I explained to him the means of getting away, and fetched his coat and hat. Finally, I pushed him out of the cabin and hdd him to waste no time. I saw him larch away, and returned to the musicof I Vi trie, ami too much of Mrs. FletfuV 1BJ^aoi: just in time to congratulate Yftfe.ton and the dull Klakenburst. Then one day at luncheon time I received a note from Mrs. Van asking me to dine againthat evening on the yacht. It was their*Monte Carlo, she explained, as they were sailing at dawn.On tny way down to the Gadfly that evening I called in at the Iletherton*s hotel t» say I would be pleased to accept their invitation to go to the Nice races next day with their party. 1 happened to run across Kattn “And \vlu*»*p ilt; ti.,» tn#vky IUak* nhurt ?1 asked, with a smile.“Oh. poor Ernest got a sick headache during the afternoon, and went to bed before dinner. I hope it’s nothing serious.*' sh*. said, anxiously.“Oh. no,” 1 said, reassuringly. “I think I saw him looking at an intelligent book this morning that doubt lean brought it on. Au revoir.”I hurried away dewn to the port, and in a few minutes was on hoard tin* Gadfly—one of the latest things in yachts for millionaires. Mrs. Van welcomed meeffusively.don’t know you. A!..clasped myVan on the progress she had made under the Parisian masters.Shortly afterward I rose and said 1 must be going. Mrs. Van protested ugdnst my early demmure.’The truth is, I’m rather nervous. I’ve m ver been mixed up in an abduction before. I explained.Sin* laughed.“A ou have helped to give a deserving woman what she wants. I bow to sulHciently thankTrench!” she said, a« sh**hand in farewell.1 hurried away, thinking haps, her thank# were a trifle profuse.On niv way back 1 looked in at the Ilethcrtoiis’ hotel, wish’ng to make certain that Kla ken hurst had safely returned. I was passing the reading room, on the entresol floor, when the dooi opened and I came face to face with Pattic. She had a hook in her hand, and seemed annoyed.“I was just running up to see Ernest— to inquire if fit-* were any better?” I ; stammered, some explanation of my pres-that. per-■(H.lvn mall party ju,i onrs-lv ,s an, IShe turned to a tall youug man U^ii, h * », .* i t*» *standing in the background. “1 think , V *.i * J?* she said,von know Lord Era* st Iilakenhurst?” ')^nly. I lt;$uw hun disappearing upir of hi*HVr11, ii*1 her yacht, her mansions, ammiliums or dollars?” vi... -ui.j• *•*€ nsKeq.1“In 'Mild overlook those iueotivetiieuecsi. is omy i no woman I mn#iderI anwe red'■All, it v!„. h-nl (!„. |,.„l (.is;,. ivf„M. j. . (I am half afrai.l♦i ... ' «•«§• •in in. i JHrt-asm wfts mtoiuUal Ihtc.)• ud go back to the war officeHIM-Uijr (hoimmt a yoar;- | witha yawn. »««u, « .mgave a little start ’’Amur two ttmusand n rear1 Ithou tht—.— * T‘ 1I touched the black tie.in ” 1 ;lltw,,ler A nut Sell#*a. i * XplfUlletl.“Thatabout ir? Vpiquamt Oil body you told mol*lt;*» tM?m vx^‘ r:f. isteinc , n*eognize your ex*i . '1 * • 111 omfennent.all her f V1! atrt|Hv| for .will d,-c? i r I' shlt;lrleoming#. Heri i j 'V ,;!r fortune wan to bed between mvsolf ,,..1 a dogs' heme.I% *I i( t trSick headache, indeed! I could have almost laughed, if I had not thought of the deception practiced on poor Pattic.Mrib Van Caught hold -*f hiVimu, and In* came forward. Iot»!;ing somewhatsheepish. ‘‘ Hull*'. Trench!*’ bo isftid, with a stupid iumI. ••No idea you were coming.**“The surprise is not all on your sale!”I replied, attempting to instill a propertouch iCYCritjf into • Vj^f-Tile little \vi*low‘s eyes vveie almost dancing with unholy joy as they metmine. :4V“I told you I should like tlt;\” she w hhp pcred to me, triutnphnntly.I shook my head rejrovingly. Still as the yacht was sailing in a few hour#* time, no harm could be done.We weal in to dinner, which, like nil Mrs. N an’s entertainments, was in the way of an object lesson on the advantages of wealth. As I watched her haml'itig of the inane Ernest I confess 1 was moved to admiration. It was art in the highest sense, and 1 was more than thanktui. for Panic's sake, that the Gad* fly was departing almost immediately.Afterward the colonel led Lilakeuhumtand myself \ve were the only no n of tin* party to tht* smoking mout. where he in**0*■ lt;* 1 on p« : sour»lly mixing some wonder*ftd American drinks. Presently I seized an opportunity to join the others in the drawing room, and left the colonel mixing another “dream” (.the term was his)for Klakenburst.Mrs. Van seemed not in the least stir-; * - ■■-*• «t that i came aiotic,“Is father telling Lord Klakenhurst hi# experiences in the Koekies?'* she asked.i know it is perfectly Uo|e!ess trying to draw him front the smoking room When once he has got a really good listener.” h-, kI.ater on I slipped away for a moment, , thinking i; time to see how the poor Itile staircase jtist now .(’oine bat k! I looked sharply at her. ! As she saw the slip she had made a little | look of confusion swept over her face. “What do you know?’’ 1 said, quickly.She hesitattHj; then a defiant look came into her eye#.“This morning I was sitting on the terrace, and Mrs. Van Oppen and her father came close to ine~they did not notice that I was within earshot. I heard them talk the plan over, and deliberately eavesdropped.” she finished.slowly, a spot of color coining to hercheek.1 listened in amazement.“Ytm were hoping they would be able to carry it out?” I cried, excitedly.She did not answer lor a moment or s«». It seemed ages to me.“Well, if they did, no one could blame me for not being Lady Klakeniuirsf- not even mother.” she said, a demure smile creeping into her eyes.To think I had actually brought him back for her sake, and all the time sin* would have welcomed his nlwlmtinn asa glt;n I “get out!” A mad idea came tome.“.Inst on** question, I stuttered. “Supposing he had been curried off. would the fact of (iiia:j!f Am** Selma's recent dc-ccasr* have inclined yuti f«.*r atiuthcr courtship?” ^ .Her eye# dropped l»efore mine.“Perhaps,” she answered, softly. “Iiuf what’s tin* good? He is hero still,” sheadded, regretfully.On the impulse. I caught bold of her ham^giiKl kissed it. A “Yes, but he won’t he long! I said. “I'll just put him hack ou the yacht again. Thank heaven he’s a man that can he managed! Goodby! Don’t go u bed until I return.’*I heard her give a little gasp of amazeKhtkenhnrst was fating. 1 met the com* IttUnk then raced away and up t-» KlakThe,e wav1 mult;t• 'U 1:0IOf lt;uisand a year, an! thee to the dogs.”long pause.nttulate you ” she said a: I er a thoughtful tone. 1 I answered, miter a Id y,I. »v it him sand a year was ,\ ' *v Da«i Kinkenhurst, but.M-. * elnia had seen lit to diexmutim pvrvUmvly. | think if »ve been managed. But, there,oe iny luck i«» In* IN low Minutes later Mrs, Iletherton !,u’ !*vV1lv libtkcnhttrst appeared on » #-*u e. the former surprised me bvnel It.* was just shutting the door 10 :» deck cabin. lie pit a finger to his lip my dertomlv.“1 g**ve him a H'hic *gn Twist’ to finishtip with, and he suddenly eoHapscd.” he w i\,vp».'Tvl. “1 gufestal tbi* best w av wasftAW »Hdiality of her reception, butt he!*» help him to a b ink and |«»t him sleepfor half an hour. That'll put him asright lm the President MCf I d*»n t knew the • \fiel eiiitse- p»*rhap# ft w ;* •. ^.uiiet lung in the old \*o'onei’lt; tonenit .1 s»id,!t*n suspivdttu »Muert*d nivmind. ' *I said nothing, liowewr, uoul, a few''unqt. s i.ater.^ 1 . hanced to he al me with »* * s. \ ;in. Sht' Y jkI ponu1 otit au d(ck* and we were standing by the taftrail. enjoying the cool night air. A“T have just heard that your fatherenlmrst’s room two stairs ;r a time. I found him lying on hi# bed, still fully drvttscd. I caught hold of nis shoulder.“Awfully sorry. Klakky. but I made a I frightful mistake in getting you awayi just now■!” 1 t ried, breathlt ssly. “I tappears the tmttmcl told Mrs. Van. as an excuse for you, that you’d been unavoidably • ailed away for an hour, but thud he had extract d your solemn promise t*» J I return for the remainder of the evening J w I came 011 at once to bring you back.[ lie was very muddled, but I found a 1j wafer bottle again. j“You simply uiti't make the rlTort, else jMrs. Van will never forgive you. A ^ point of honor, my near oilt;i son!” I eon-titltted^$^iqM^ \ -.V o= ’’ ~ ; 'With n few more unscrupulous arsnt-* •
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Wauwatosa news
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, US
Sat, Dec 03, 1904
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