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Robert Chetwit and Alice Bear- Skin were married at the mort gaged home of the bride's parents, Str. and Mrs. C. D. Bearskin, br the Pev. M. L. Gassawar. (Wed ding date unnecessary ... like death, it’s permanent.) The bride is a skinny, fast, little squirt who has been kissed by every boy in town ever since she was 123 years of age. She Paints like a Wahoo Indian, sue: cigarets on the street and drinks Incan corn whiskey when her boy friend's got any. She doesn’t know how to cook, sew or keep house and never intends to learn. The groom is a two-bit punk who hasn’t done a lick of work since he got kicked out in the mid dle of his junior year at college. He manages to dress well and keep a supply of spending money because his pap is a soft-headed old fossil who takes up his load ,checks instead of letting him go uo jail where he belongs. The house was newly plastered for the wedding and the exterior painted, thus appropriately carry ing out the decorative scheme, as the groom was surely plastered while the bride was amply paint ed. The groom wore a rented dinner suit over athletic underwear of silk. His pants were held up by pale green suspenders. His num ber 9 patent leather shoes match ed his state of tightness and har monized nicely with the axle grease polish on his hair. In addition to his jag, he car ried a pocket knife, a jeweler’s hill for the wedding ring and a bunch of keys—not to speak of his usual look of imbecility, the bride wore some kind of a white thing that left most of her legs sticking out at one end and her bony upper end at the other. The young people will make their home with the bride's par ents which means they will sponge off the old man until he dies, then she will take in washings, phieealae (How about it, Mr. Publisher— do I get a chance at society writin'?) Some of the gals pet their hair permanently waved, but we never could understand why some of them don't get their necks perm anently washed. Some people rob Paul to pay Peter—and then forget to pay Peter. Some men are such blind idiots that they go clear through life to their dying day thinking they did the proposing!
Newspaper Details
Taylor County Herald
Bedford, Iowa, US
Thu, Feb 02, 1939
Page 1
Full Page
Clipped by
Anonymous
USA 20 Feb 2026
Other Publications Near Bedford, Iowa
Bedford Times Independent
Bedford Times Republican
Bedford Times Republican and Taylor County Repub
Bedford Taylor County Republican
Atlas of Taylor County Iowa
