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THE TERRIBLE SLIDElt;By W. V. Cushing, Portage. Wis Some years back. Irora the banks of the Dee. So Scotlv squeezed turpentine out of the treesA Htghbnd Scot came across Bering sea. shot at the pests while up m the air.with kilties, his fife and a lumbering ciew;And u gaiioxay os tliat they say was blue.There was Don MscShane and Cockney Reed, Tim OToole and the Temble Swede.Mort M a Frew and the Russian Jew.Were the .umber jacks of Scot ties' crew.They though: they'd land on an Arctic Jake But instead it was a great big glacier cake.T!i** cake was ah\e and started to slide.Took Paul and his crew for a terrible ride;From :!se Arctic circle they started to go Den; to the Gulf of Mexico.With the rolling and grinding and terrible rumpus. Paul sat calm a-watching his compass.MaFrew says Boys, ze needle she tell We are 0:1 ze nay south a-going to hell.'*The SiwcLe tat behind, used his feel as a rudder And sot her zig z.izzmg one way and another.And tr.e tra.l o! the slide you wiii notice today In the old Mississippi the runs eiery way.The earth plowed up and rolled the recks,Cut I Ik* crew held on. with the terrible ox.Whm il;r saw the Gulf of MexicoThey jumped trout the glacier and let ‘er go.The ox hit the ground with an awful crash.And the glacier roiled in with a mighty splash The spiay !rom the splash made six months ram And wheie Babe landed, made posMchanratn. TT.e glaciet s kept coming us several cakes.And got in a tain north of Big Lakes.“Now I can see it’s what we needIs fnt- great lakes,” said the Terrible Swede.“Its just what we want.” says Highland Paul,And we ll dig a big dram to Montreal.Then MaFrew and the Jew and Cockney Reed. Broke the jam for the Terrible Swede.The takes separated and settled down.And the water came running in ah around.At Niagara they built a waterfall For to rush the logs to Montreal.Scinc redwood logs is what we need.We'll plant some seed said the Titan Swede. They planted redwood In the Badger state And their roots came up at the Golden Gate.And hit 'em right where their belly was bare.The pests had stingers at front and back end.When the turpentine hit ’em the pain made 'em bend.atOn the end of each stinger was a little crook When they both got together they wouldn't unhook Then the mosquitoes, the flies and the ticks All got themselves m a hell of a fix.They couldn’t stand up. they couldn't sit down; Ai! they could jlo was go buzzing around.But they soon picked up some porcupine quills That they started to using like rotary drills.Then the Swede look a “simse” and spi: in. their eyes :JAnd blinded the ticks, mosquitoes and flies !Then Paul and his crew they all got a rest From the rotary drills of the terrible pe^t. iPaul's crew understood Hie fighting of fleas.The lugging of logs, the growing of trees.The making of lakes, of rivers and dams The taming of wows and the breaking cf jam-Of all the big trees he grew more or less H;s ax handle tree was the greatest success Of this famous tree he grew only one That would make all the ax handles under the 1-2:1 He grafted a locust 10 a small hickory tree.And curved it the way a handle should be:The grain of the wood it ran with the bow Just like the way the grain ought to go.The tree grew up with a pod hkt* a pea .With millions of jxxls on the one single Ire IThe brandies were bending sight down to the With twelve finished ax handles in every pod.Then his hamberry bush was another great feat , That grew ham and eggs, already to eat. .He crossed an egg plant with a Poland pig weed.Fa 1 ted and peppered and planted the seed. :Placed a sun glass at the top of a treeAnd the heat of the sun would cook ‘em von see.Now mass production they say it is new But the dea came from this wonderful crew Highland Paul and the Russian Jew.Jc.« the Cook and Mort MaFrew. ;Don MacShane and Cockney Reed. !Tim OToole and the Terrible Swede. iiCalifornia trees are a product of Paul's.He raised the seed at Chippewa Falls.The worst thing of all were the ticks and the fleas.Copyright, 1935. Bv Walter V. Cushing, portage. Wis.
Newspaper Details
Oshkosh Daily Northwestern
Oshkosh, Wisconsin, US
Wed, Sep 04, 1935
Page 16
Full Page
Clipped by
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WI, USA 22 May 2021
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