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The Chronicle, Centralia/Chehalis, Wash., Friday, June 16, 2000LOCAL / NORTHWESTx ^■A' w \'s •*» •• , y •? V ^\ v*' ' s-' /' lt;*“*■ 'n%'s'*a-\ vlt; ' sCOMMENTARY: ItStrange animals: The truth is out thereDo you want to hear about something really strange?My son (let’s call him Jon, because that's his name) saw a big, black chicken in our front yard one day. At least that is what he claims. Nobody else ever saw it.I did see a deer chasing our cat across the yardonce. That waspretty silly, actually. Here was this little black cat with a big, long-legged deer chasing it. It was a mother deer and it had a fawn with it. I guess she thought our house ByDanGr,1ths cat was going to jump up and kill the poor fawn or something.You know how house cats are always doing that. That’s why they have made it illegal to use a house cat when deer hunting. It is just too cruel when a house cat comers adeer and brings it down before the hunter can catch up to them.Anyway ... back to the animals in our yard. Both of the things I told you about happened (or allegedly happened in the case of the black chicken) some time ago, but then not long ago my son thought he heard a cow. You’ve heard cows, haven’t you? Or was that herd of cows? Get it? A cow herd. And do we really care if a cow heard?No wait... a cow didn’t hear. My son heard a cow, or at least he THOUGHT he heard a cow. It was the middle of the night and he heard it (or thought he heard it), so he got up, got dressed and went outside looking for the cow. The problem he had was once he got outside and looked around ... he couldn’t find the cow.Some people in our family think there was no cow (especially after the tale of the black chicken), but personally, I believe him. I bet it was one of those stealth cows theAir Force is developing. They’re all over the place — of course, nobody sees them (stealth technology, remember?), but they’re there.They roam the hills and dales of Washington, waking up people in the middle of the night, never to be spotted. Well, maybe they are spotted; some cows are, you know. But even if they are spotted, they are never seen.When was the last time you saw a “SPOTTED COWS SPOTTED!” headline in the local newspaper? See, I rest my case.Anyway, the best part of that whole cow experience was that Jon thought about waking me up in the middle of the night to help him look for it ... and then he didn’t. You've got to love him for that.Know what else? My daughter has a pet fish. It used to be a goldfish. Now nobody in our family really knows for sure what it is. It is way too big to be a goldfish, and it is not really gold any more. 1 thinkit is a trout or maybe even a freshwater salmon.My daughter thinks it is a monkey (she’s silly). I am sure it is not a monkey. It lives underwater, and monkeys do not live underwater, at least not for very long.Oh, sure, I know what you’re thinking — sea monkey! But no, it is not a sea monkey. It is some type of fish, I'm sure of that. It even eats fish food, so that proves it.Now, if it lived underwater and ate bananas, that might throw me, but luckily that is not the case. The one thing about which everyone in the family can agree is if that gold-fish-trout-salmon-monkey gets any larger, we are going to have to give up the bathtub so it can have a place to live.•••Dan Griffiths lives in Chehalis a/ul w rites about his adventures as a has band, father and control technician for a gas pipeline company. He can be reached by e-nuiil at local_w riter@yahoo.com.
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Centralia Chronicle
Centralia, Washington, US
Fri, Jun 16, 2000
Page 5
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