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PUSflENX. PARAGRAPHS.—Josh Billings says of society that his acquaintances would till a cathedral, but that the pulpit would hold his friends.—Go to Alaska, young man; go to Alaska. The last citizen who went up there has become a solid man. He was frozen to death.—N. ¥. Commercial Advertiser.—“Papa/' said a Marathon boy, “do goats give milk?” “Yes, Tommy.” •‘And a goat is a butter, isn't it?” “Yes, my son.” “Well, then, isn’t goat's milk buttermilk?”—Marathon limes.—“Ethel,” said the teacher, “whom do the ancients say supported the world on his shoulder?” “Atlas, sir.” “You’re quite right,” said the teacher. “Atlas supported the world. Now who sap-ported Atlas?” “I suppose,” said Ethel, softly. “I suppose he married a rich wife.”—“What do you charge for lodging?” inquired a man with a watch eye, bracing himself in front of the hotel register at a prominent caravansary. “One dollar, replied, the dimond-hilted clerk. “One dollar, eh? Say, couldn't. you take seventy-five cents and wake me up twenty-five cents earlier than usual r'—Hotil Mail.—“1 hoar your uncle is dead,” said a sympathetic neighbor to Mr. Twomly. “He is,” replied Twomly, gravely.* “Did he leave any testament?” “Yes,-three of them.” “Three of them!” exclaimed the neighbor, wonderingly. “Yes, the Old Testament, New Testament and the Revised Edition.”—Christian at Work.—“No,” said Mrs. Homespun, “I haven’t seen the‘Light of Asia,’ nor I don’t want to either. I’ve just been bothered to death ever since I began keeping house, forty years ago, with your new-fangled lights and lamp9 and chimbhes and burners. Krrysene’sSood enough for me. ‘Light of Asia!’ o, I don’t want nothing to do with it” —Boston Transcript.—“Mamma, what is a cipher?” “Why, my child, a cipher is a naught; that is, it is nothing. “Well, then, papa must be naughty nothing.” “What makes you think so?” “Cause papa caught hold of the nurse this morning and said; *1 cipher a taste of your lips,’ and she smacked him.” “Did she slap him with her hand?” “No, ma'amubat she bit him right in the mouth.”—N. Y. News.—“Why do you not present yourself as a candidate for Parliament?” asked a lady of her husband^vho was down with the rheumatism. “Why should I, my dear?” inquired he, “I’ve no Qualifications for the station.” “Bat I think you bar*,” returned the wife, “your language and actions are truly parliamentary.*' When bills are presented you either order them to be laid on the table, or you make a motion to rise; though often out of order, you are still supported by the chair; and yoa often poke vour nose into measures which are calculated to destroy the constitution.” The old fellow shook his list at her.—Chicago Tribune.
Newspaper Details
The Bossier Banner
Bellevue, Louisiana, US
Thu, Jan 24, 1884
Page 1
Full Page
Clipped by
John D.
CA 13 Dec 2021
Other Publications Near Bellevue, Louisiana
The Bossier Banner
