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RAIL KITTY CLOTHESBy Lonnie E. LeggeOILARY LEWIS, was a 22-year-old bachelor, who owned 50 acres of mountain land with a nice cottage and out-buildings. Hi, as he was known locally, was a ladles man, who farmed his rocky hills and acted as guide to hunting parties of city slickers.One beautiful day in April, a big car drove up to his gate and honked the horn. Hi, taking his usual slow time, walked down to the gate, wondering if this was a late hunter. There was only one person in the car, who got out at his approach, wearing an outfit that almost made Hi laugh out* right.High top boots, tan leather riding britches, black leather coat, green silk shirt, topped off with a forest green hat with a red feather. He spoke and added, I am Alwin G. Benedict and wish to hire a guide to explore the fauna and flora of this region, which 1 know all about from my books, but I wish to photograph them in their natural habitat.Alright, drawled Hi, dollar an hour and I’m ready.After photographing several birds, plants and small animals, they came suddenly upon a mother skunk with four kittens trailing her. The mother hid in the tall weeds, but the kits froze where they were. What are they? exclaimed Mr, Benedict.Rail kittys, said Hi.Will they bite? asked Mr. Benedict,Naw, replied Hi.Mr. Benedict picked up one of the kits by the scruff of the neck. It made a snuffling sound which brought the mother put the weeds stamping her feet in anger. Holy cowl yelled Mr. Benedict dropping the kitten and running out of the cloud of mist, I thought you said they were cat3.They are—pole cats. What's thedifference between a pole and a. ‘ • • /*• • ■ • « Mr. Benedict stripped the newclothes off while Ht went back to the house for some of his old clothes. After Mr. Benedict was dressed he paid Hi for his time and the clothes, adding a dollar tip, then left immediately for the city and a bath saying, ‘TIT send you a present to remember this.Hf got a shovel and buried the fancy clothes, then in three days dug them up and hung them on the line to air out. The next day he brushed them of dirt, the odor was already gone. Donning the fancy outfit he set out for the post oftlce where most of the mountain girls congregated at mall time.He received a small registered box, which he took out onto the porch to open remarking. “Guess my city friend sent me a watch. The girls gathered around to see Hi’s wonderful gift. When he raised the lid there on a bed of cotton, that reeked with lilac perfume, lay a gold plated, lipstick 1 box cover. A cork stopper plugged tlie open end- On one side was a label that read: Amora Knuks #5, Spanish, Hi remarked knowingly. Amora, I think means Darling” and I guess Kunks” means perfume. -Another label on the container read;: Caution do not remove stopper. Well, I don’t see why not, it's all leaked out anyway, said HI disgustedly as he twisted-the stopper. Suddenly his hands and clothes were soaked with skunk scent that dripped from a minute hole in the bottom of the container which had been sealed with a pin fastened to the cork.He threw the vial from him with an oath as the girls scattered screaming and holding their noses.Hi reading the label again as it lay upside down noticed it was written backwards and should read, Skunk Aroma #5. He rushed home and buried the clothes again, Qddly enough, he was unable to wear them in publicagain as the very sight of them sent people into a panic.
Newspaper Details
Titonka Topic
Titonka, Iowa, US
Thu, Dec 26, 1957
Page 1
Full Page
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Anonymous
WV, USA 11 Apr 2022
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