Page 5 of 2 Jan 2010 Issue of Xenia Gazette News Current in Xenia, Ohio

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Xenia Gazette News Current (Newspaper) - January 2, 2010, Xenia, Ohio Jon m. Noel editor amp publisher Congress Sunu make no late respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof or abridging the Freedom of speech or of the press or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and to petition the government for a redress of grievances the first amendment to the United states Constitution opinion saturday january 2, 2010 Dave Barry Barry classics duct tape daredevils these Days we take flying for granted. We walk aboard commercial air planes and although we Don t understand How they work we re confident that thanks to the sophisticated technology embodied in these Complex machines some teeny part possibly in the toilet will malfunction and we will be delayed. But sometimes planes actually Fly. And when they do they become soaring monuments to the Brave pioneers who made modern aviation possible a people like Wilbur and Orville Wright Brothers Amelia Quot air Quot Hart and Hart p. I Inch water who developed the computer program that guarantees that no two passengers on any Given flight Ever pay the same fare. And the aviation pioneering goes on. On a recent sunday on Biscayne Bay in Miami i watched As 28 teams of courageous Young people a anti Here i am using the word Quot courageous Quot in the sense of Quot completely out of their minds Quot a competed in an event called flu tag pronounced Quot floor tog Quot is sponsored by the red Bull Energy beverage. I tried one and it gave my a refreshing lift. I Hope to be Able to sleep again by halloween. In flu tag. Which is German for either Quot flying Day Quot or Quot make sure everybody signs a liability waiver Quot competitors build human powered aircraft then push them off a 30-foot-High platform and see How far they can Fly. Competitors also get Points for style so they Wear costumes and perform skits just before their flights. Before the Competition. I examined the aircraft which were duct tape intensive contraptions representing a wide Range of aerodynamic concepts. One was a giant replica of Homer Simpson lying on his Back Aims outstretched to form wings. Another was shaped like an enormous Pigeon. It was completely covered with feathers As was its flight team. I asked the Pigeon s designer Corby Rusk if he thought the Pigeon would actually Fly. Quot of course Quot he said. Quot the feathers will give it lift feathers Fly right Quot some of the entries looked vaguely like actual air planes others did not even have wings. One entered by a team from England was shaped like a giant Bowler hat. My personal favorite called Quot Joy of birth Quot was an enormous cow lying on her Back. The cow team members were also dressed As cows. Their skit involved opening the cow s legs in a clinically gynaecological manner and having a team member slide Down a ramp and shoot out the birth canal into the Bay. Quot tasteful Quot does not begin to describe it. The Competition was excellent. Virtually every flight went the same the team would push its Craft onto the 30-foot-High flight platform and be announced by an unnaturally enthusiastic emcee who sounded As though his blood Content was 80 percent red Bull. Then. At the big moment the team s Pilot would climb into the Craft and the other team members would push the Craft toward the end of the platform gaining Speed until the dramatic moment when the Craft would go off the end and in a Triumph of human ingenuity a fall straight Down into the Bay. Yes. Virtually every Craft displayed the aerodynamic characteristics of a crowbar. Some of them notably the ones that resembled real air planes appeared to fall even faster than could be explained by Gravity alone. Several fell apart before they even reached the platform Edge and just tumbled off in pieces. This went on for More than three hours yet it somehow remained riveting entertainment. You can have your master s Golf tournament and your super bowl give me Over caffeinated Young people crashing in under engineered contraptions any Day. The crowd also loved it. At one Point the emcee was interviewing a team about to compete and somebody noted that one of the team members had a prosthetic leg. The emcee turned to the crowd and shouted a i swear i am not making this up a Quot give it up Miami for the prosthetic leg Quot and Miami not known As a generous town did. Anyway the next time you re on a plane waiting for a toilet part take a moment to reflect on the efforts of these bold modern Day aviation pioneers to Advance the frontiers of human flight. Then look at the wings. If you see leathers get off. Larry Wrig the Detroit news the secret to a successful new year i woke up this morning and there she was standing Iii the Middle of my bedroom staring at me. She must have been Happy to see me because she had a big smile on her face. Even though i had t invited her Over there she was ready or not 2010 w As Here in All her glory welcoming me into her strange new world. This in a True Story. Mostly. The new year has a Way of just showing up in people s lives without their permission. Even though the Calendar has been warning us All year Long it just seems sort of sudden to have to Deal with this whole new year thing so is x til after Christmas. But whether you re prepared for it or not the new year is always very serious about arriving at the appointed time. So Here we arc in the year 2010 and while we re Here we might As Well make the most of it. After years of careful stud experimentation and plenty of trial and error i have uncovered the secrets to making your new year a Success. And for the Low Price of Only $19.99 i would to Happy to share this information with you of i m just kidding. This one is on the House and we can Call it my new years Gilt to you. Now pay close attention mid follow these instructions mid you re bound to have an awesome 2010. It is very important to be politically Correct in the new year so please make sure that you prix ounce 2010 correctly. It s Twenty ten not two thousand and ten unless you re at some Type of ceremony honouring nuclear physicists or some other nerds types be grateful there s a pretty Good Chance that Christmas put you into a Hole that you la still be digging your Way out of in february but look at the blight Side you re not the Only one who overdid it. Again. Most importantly you have to remember that y of Are now among an elite group of people privileged enough to have woke up us morning mid witnessed die not Sav e Money us year. In a not going to try and to a better Friend husband Parent or neighbor and i am definitely not going to clean up that cluttered there s nothing sporting about gossip As news by i k la album Tribune Media sen ices once Dijion a time we looked away. That s How it used to be in the shirts writing business. That attitude has changed. Over the years the w Ink and Mil agreement Between spoils heroes mid the men who lionized them withered away. The behaviour got worse gambling drugs steroids mid die journalism got More pointed. Now comes news that to the powerful gossip internet mid to organization is sharpening its migs for a bite into the shirts business a and Unis could take the ugliness As athletes like to Sav. To Vav Hole new level. According to several reports to has registered the name with plans to build a parallel Model to its entertainment operation w hich consists of rumours tips paparazzi photos or cell phone video slapped into so called news that is mostly about bad behaviour. So we mesh into a new Era of sports reporting the Quot gotcha Quot approach previously reserved for die Brad Pitts and Angelina Jolies of the world. The fact is. Many famous athletes Are Young men w Ith a lot of Money mid Little life experience beyond the playing Field. They Are often Iii the wrong place with the w Rong people. Ask Chris Henry s friends. Or Sean Fay tor s. Ask any coach. I m not saying ignoring the cavorting of athletes is some High mid mighty principle. When substance abuse or criminal acts intersect with a player s performance it is sadly vet surely news. But Over the years in this business when the game w As Over. When die quotes had been gathered w Hen the Story had been w Ritten. I Felt the Job had been done for the Day. It was t my obligation to then follow the athlete into a bar or sneak around outside his hotel room. But i fear Nix i that s where Quot sports news May begin. Sex Sells. Gossip Sells bad behaviour Sells. The Liz approach of capturing your worst moments and splashing diem around the world will be a hard thing for More conservative news outlets to ignore. Once upon a time we a liked away from the other stuff. Now we never Stop staring following snapping and gossiping. Fairfax and abuse of Power by Steve cd i is state director. Ohio i air tax in 1798. John Adams wrote Quot our Constitution was made Only Fin a moral and religious a Ople. A a seems the old Guy had a pretty Gix i Millet standing of human nature and. If anything the morass swirling around the backroom deals bribery pandering and outright unconstitutionality of the healthcare legislation recently passed by Congress demonstrates his uncommon Wisdom and prescience. While die Issue of healthcare is Celia Only it it in worthy of debate. Congress has demonstrated with it s cynical machinations that it can not to trusted with an unfettered Power to tax in the latest version there Are a new taxes that we know about ranging from Ghigliei laves on alcoholic beverages to Lii Givi payroll taxes to extra taxes on various put Edmires medication and serv ices. Congress also Cut a number it it a a special deals Quot providing credits Grants of out right Cash to members Iii Calci to get votes it a placate special interests. Pundits have even noted that some of Star senators Are openly putting Price tags on then votes. Senator . For instance. I me a a reporter who questioned Bel of amt Lim her vote Quot for ski million. She proudly pm. Claimed Quot. A s not a ski million fix it s a s3 k million tile Fairfax would change this i hider Ila Fairfax if Congress really has to Misc in re Money it would raise the tax on everything. N special deals for your company i Vause your daddy grew up with senator and no specially crafted exemption for y oui group because you raised Money lot representative pay Back s elect ii in i a very i in would pay their far share under the l Ait fax. Congress would still Haw their constitutional ability and responsibility r legislate in tile inst interests of the Nalipi but their ability to Deal in corruption and polite Al gamesmanship would be shakily curtail d adans. As one of our founders fought to t ree America from the unfettered pow a it far off King to tax the nascent nation into sub Mission. Two Hundred yeas later. Wingless in t As far away. But it s pow it to tax is eve n More oppressive. We May not have Anither allans but we do have the Fairfax for Mote on the i . Visit Page 5a guest column Westminster presbyterian Church might be a Good fit for you and your family1 a be with other faithful people to worship and glorify god a reach out to those in need in our Community a hear a scripturally based Sermon with relevancy for the 2.1st Century a understand and study the Bible and what it Means a listen for and hear god s Call for your family a enjoy a variety in musical styles with an emphasis on traditional hymns choir led by Csuy a or. William Caldwell a judgment is left to god All Are Welcome a enjoy Fellowship time during Coffee hour after worship a Era sunday a adult and inter generational sunday school classes offered a share your personal commitment of time and talents to fully experience the Joy of being a disciple of Jesus Christ. A nurturing disciples in Xenia since i841 a Westminster presbyterian Church to old Springfield Pike a Xenia Ohio 45385 <?37-372-<?246 a by Drew Pillow dawning of a Brand new year. Many people were not so fortunate. Just say no to resolutions and say yes to real unions. Resolutions Are very often seeds plaited w Ith i xxx intention which yield a Harvest of self disappointment. Year after year millions of people make very realistic promises to themselves to climb mount Everest discover a cure for cancer or build snowmen in die desert. They attack these resolutions with All the intensity of a three year old with a bowl of jell-0 pudding in front of him Only to find themselves a few weeks or months later Rev jew ing their Pixie Progress and subconsciously sending a message like tins to themselves a you failed again mister failure. How Dix a that failure feel this time a this May sound f funny to some people but consider the effects of a decade or so of facing the new year in this manner. Resolutions Are becoming an almost guaranteed set up for stalling off the year feeling bad about yourself and who really wants that not me mid hopefully not you either. That is w by there will be no resolutions for me this year. Tills year i in setting a real muons or realistic goals for myself such As i will exercise less tins year. I w ill not eat healthier. I will garage of mine. And that special project that in be been promising to finish working on for the past three months there is no Way that i am going to finish it especially not in this new year. Whew. I feel so much better now. I feel empowered like die weight of the world has been lifted up from off my neck mid shoulders. The most important part of this Methil is that now we can end the Cycle of broken promises to ourselves. This year we can simply love ourselves As we Are for a change. And the Bonus is that if we fail this ctr we still w in when you Dunk about it Dies is the simplest plan in the world All you have to do is a whatever you w ant to do which when you think about it. Is exactly what you re going to do anyway. I m just eliminating the guilt worry stress and potential Low self esteem. Now Diat we re All set mid have a finn grasp on this whole big bail new year thing i m going to have to he running along. In be made plans to join a f Riend of mine for breakfast this morning we re going to have the fruit salad bar and then we re heading Oft to the Myca to hit the treadmills. I know what you re thinking but this is not a Resolution. I m not doing Dies because i have to i m doing it because i wait to. Xenia s Drew Pillow wants to wish von the happiest sew year Ever mid he can Lye leached Ai i hew Pillow i Nai i. It oui still need a 2010 new years Resolution

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