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Winnipeg Free Press Newspaper Archives Mar 30 2015, Page 2

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Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - March 30, 2015, Winnipeg, Manitoba C M Y K PAGE A2 964 REGENT AVE. W. SPECIAL SALES HOTLINE 1- 800- 616- 6551 OPEN 24 HOURS www . vickarchevrolet. ca ( Including Winnipeg) 204- 661- 8383 HOURS MON TUES 8: 30AM - 9: 00PM WED - SAT 8: 30AM - 6: 00PM FOR ADDITIONAL SAVINGS OVER AND ABOVE WHAT YOU SEE! “ LIKE” US ON & FOLLOW US ON VOLU M E DEALER IN C A NAD A # 1 2 01 2 - 2 0 1 3 - 2 01 4 TIME IS TICKING AWAY ! $ 13,997 $ 45 ** WKLY WOW!! Exclusively priced at Vickar for this sale!! These are nicely equipped and ready to drive away!! 2014 CHEVY TRAX ET7980 2014 CHEVY IMPALA Voted the nicest driving vehicle in Canada! We are the only dealership in Manitoba that can offer you this exclusive price! $ 21,977 $ 72 ** WKLY FEATURE VEHICLE INCREDIBLE DEAL! 2014 CHEVY SILVERADO 4 DR. DOUBLE CAB 4X4 $ 30,977 $ 94 ** WKLY 2014 CHEVY SONIC FEATURE VEHICLE INCREDIBLE DEAL! EC1179 * PAYMENTS ARE ALL IN NO MONEY OUT OF YOUR JEANS “ Not a basic car like other dealerships advertise!” Onstar with 5 years key fob services, stabilitrak, traction control, power locks with keyless entry, Bluetooth, steering wheel audio controls and much more!” 84MOS 72MOS 60MOS 48MOS $ 104 * $ 120 * $ 140 * $ 175 * BIWEEKLY BIWEEKLY BIWEEKLY BIWEEKLY AUTO & AIR WOW! True North Edition. THIS IS NOT A BASIC TRUCK! Loaded 5.3L V8, LED cargo lights, All terrain Rubber, power seat, dual zone climate control, rear defrost, remote start, 8” touch screen radio with Bluetooth wireless streaming. Rear vision camera, trailering package, locking diff, aluminum wheels and fog lights! INCREDIBLE DEAL! Loaded up with best in class fuel economy 5.3L V8, H. D. cooling system, locking differential, air, tilt, cruise, pwr windows, pwr door locks and mirrors, keyless entry, deep tint glass, up level sound system, bluetooth, OnStar and much more. THE LAST OF THE 2014s ARE RUNNING OUT! OPEN TODAY UNTIL 9PM 2014 CHEVY SILVERADO CREW 4X4 ** All prices and payments include all incentives/ rebates to dealer and are plus freight, taxes and fees. Payments are based on 2.99% rate on terms of 84 mths. OR YOUR CHOICE Arts & Life C 1 Business B 6 Canada / World B 3,4 Classified D 8 Comics C 6 Diversions C 7 Editorials A 6 Horoscope C 4 Jumble D 8 Letters to the Editor A 6 Miss Lonelyhearts C 4 Sports D 1 TV C 4 Weather C 8 . OBITUARIES D 7 . COLUMNISTS Gerry Couture A 7 Zach Fleisher A 7 Brian Kelcey A 7 Dan Lett A 4 Maureen Scurfield C 2 Ed Tait D 3 In the event of any discrepancy between this list and the official winning numbers, the latter shall prevail. PICK 3 Winning number Sunday was 138. Winning number Saturday was 561. EXTRA Winning number Sunday was 4526966. Winning number Saturday was 2821076. LOTTO 6/ 49 Winning numbers Saturday were 12, 15, 21, 23, 40 and 48. The bonus number was 8. The jackpot of $ 30,051,073.70 was carried over. The guaranteed- prize draw for $ 1 million ( exact match only) was 69152053- 02. This Wednesday’s jackpot is an estimated $ 35,000,000. WESTERN 6/ 49 Winning numbers Saturday were 21, 25, 27, 34, 39 and 46. Bonus number was 4. LOTTO MAX Winning numbers Friday were 3, 7, 15, 23, 29, 31 and 45. The bonus number was 46. The jackpot of $ 12,000,000 was carried over. This Friday’s jackpot is an estimated $ 17,000,000. INSIDE LOTTERIES I T’S one of the great unsolved mysteries of the universe, comparable to the Loch Ness Monster and how they get all that gooey caramel inside the Caramilk bar. I am referring here to the mysterious way dirty dishes keep piling up in the kitchen when your spouse — for the purposes of today’s column, I am assuming you have a spouse — decides to leave you on your own for a few days. Prepare to be baffled, because since my wife abandoned me this past weekend to spend a few days visiting our daughter, who is attending university in Thunder Bay, Ont., the mountain of dirty dishes littering the kitchen has been growing exponentially. It’s not the only mystery that has erupted since She Who Must Not Be Named left me alone — for example, all my clean underpants and socks have vanished, and the toilet paper roll in the main bathroom is currently empty — but it is the one that worries me the most. It goes without saying I am not responsible for this household crisis. My wife is to blame, in the sense that, rather than taking me along with her on this road trip, she opted to take my car instead, on the grounds it uses far less gas and has a much better sound system than I do. On the morning she left, my wife casually strolled into our bedroom to say goodbye to the dogs and me, even though we were actively engaged in sleeping. This thoughtless action caused me to wrongly assume someone was going to make me pancakes and triggered the dogs to begin emitting upwards of 30 barks per second, which is a new household record. As she pulled out of the driveway in my car, I stood there in my ratty blue bathrobe wondering if this was the day I would be able to operate our new coffee maker without getting an electrical shock; whereas the dogs just pressed their moony little faces up against the picture window in the living room in an attempt to look as pathetic as possible. It is obvious the dogs do not trust me to look after their basic needs, despite the fact I am virtually the sole source of most of the snack- related items they consume when we watch TV together. But getting back to the grimy dishes, I am at a loss to explain where they are coming from. In a desperate bid to keep the house clean until my wife returns, I tried to spend every waking moment this past weekend lying on the couch clutching the TV remote control. I am not lying when I say I voluntarily got off the couch only twice. The first time was to drive down to the Winnipeg Scottish Festival to see how my son’s bagpipe band was making out in the competition. Coincidentally, the bagpipers were battling it out in the same ballroom in the same hotel where the recent NDP leadership convention was fought. It was hard not to compare the two events. Here’s what I observed: 1) There is far less hot air expelled into the atmosphere by bagpipers than politicians; 2) If a bagpiper or a politician changes a light bulb, everyone will complain someone else could have done it better. Mind you, people at political conventions don’t mind being left in the dark. The second time I left the safety of the den was to go for dinner at a friend’s house, where I was handed the job of looking up the names of good dance songs on my iPhone and shouting them out to my buddy Tony, who would play them at maximum volume on his stereo. For example, I would holler for him to play Shout by the Isley Brothers ( sample lyric: “ Shooby- doo- wop- do- wop- wop- wop- wop!”) and Tony would respond by playing Happy by Pharrell Williams, if you can imagine that. ( Sample lyric: “ Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof.”) I didn’t stay long because I didn’t want the dogs to complain to my wife that I had abandoned them in their time of need, but when I got back to the house I noticed the pile of dirty dishes had begun spilling out of the kitchen, and I’m sure I saw a blob of mutant green fungus spring to life and skitter away down the hallway and hide under my bed. Even though I have made the personal sacrifice of eating delivery pizza directly from the cardboard container, the dirty dishes just keep piling up on their own. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking: “ Gee, Doug, maybe you should do something about that before your wife gets home.” Well, thank you for that helpful household hint, Betty Crocker. You will be happy to hear that, in fact, I have just finished doing something brilliant to resolve this crisis. Every single greasy dish is now squeaky- ( bad word) clean. My wife is going to be extremely surprised, especially if I can figure out how to get all these dishes out of the shower and back into the kitchen before she gets home. doug. speirs@ freepress. mb. ca In the Doug House Doug Speirs Spouse’s departure a dish disaster Plates mysteriously piling up in kitchen area WINNIPEG FREE PRESS 1355 Mountain Avenue Winnipeg, Manitoba, R2X 3B6 Privacy policy and questions www. winnipegfreepress. com/ privacy. html CIRCULATION INQUIRIES MISSING OR INCOMPLETE PAPER? Call or email before 11 a. m. weekdays or noon Saturday City / 204- 697- 7001 Outside Winnipeg / 1- 800- 542- 8900 press 1 6: 30 a. m. - 5 p. m. M- F. 7 a. m. - noon Saturday Closed Sunday fpcirc@ freepress. mb. ca TO SUBSCRIBE — 204- 697- 7001 Out of Winnipeg — 1- 800- 542- 8900 ADVERTISING Classified ( M- F) — 204- 697- 7100 wfpclass@ freepress. mb. ca Obituaries ( Sun- Fri) — 204- 697- 7384 Display Advertising — 204- 697- 7122 FP. Advertising@ freepress. mb. ca EDITORIAL Newsroom 204- 697- 7301 News tip 204- 697- 7292 Fax 204- 697- 7412 Photo desk 204- 697- 7304 Sports desk 204- 697- 7285 Business news 204- 697- 7301 PHOTO REPRINTS — 204- 697- 7063 City desk / City. desk@ freepress. mb. ca Letters to the editor / Letters@ freepress. mb. ca . TODAY ON WINNIPEGFREEPRESS. COM READER SERVICE / GENERAL INQUIRIES 204- 697- 7000 SLIDE SHOW: Bodybuilders flex their muscles at Pantages theatre SUBMITTED PHOTO Perhaps Doug should investigate a mysterious item such as this device. A 2 MONDAY, MARCH 30, 2015 winnipegfreepress. com A_ 02_ Mar- 30- 15_ FP_ 01. indd A2 3/ 29/ 15 9: 26: 25 PM

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