Winnipeg Free Press Newspaper Archives Mar 20 2015, Page 2

Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - March 20, 2015, Winnipeg, Manitoba C M Y K PAGE A2 You’re Invited to a Custom Design and Re- Styling Event April 10th, & 11th with Award Winning Designer Rachel Tucker • Custom Designs • Remounts • Diamonds and Coloured Gemstones • On- site Hand Rendered Sketches and Estimates Rachel Tucker Head Designer at Platinum Unlimited By appointment only. 493 Notre Dame Avenue ( 204) 774- 5544 www. independentjewellers. com Thursday, April 10th- Saturday, April 11th 9: 00 am - 5: 00 pm WINNIPEG FREE PRESS 1355 Mountain Avenue Winnipeg, Manitoba, R2X 3B6 Privacy policy and questions www. winnipegfreepress. com/ privacy. html CIRCULATION INQUIRIES MISSING OR INCOMPLETE PAPER? Call or email before 11 a. m. weekdays or noon Saturday City / 204- 697- 7001 Outside Winnipeg / 1- 800- 542- 8900 press 1 6: 30 a. m. - 5 p. m. 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COLUMNISTS George Stephenson A 9 Steve Lafleur A 9 Scott Forbes A 9 Harold Nyhof B 4 Randall King D 1 In the event of a discrepancy between this list and the official winning numbers, the latter shall prevail. PICK 3 Winning number Thursday was 611. EXTRA Winning number Thursday for the main prize of $ 250,000 was 4539536. LOTTO 6/ 49 Winning numbers Wednesday were: 16, 17, 37, 39, 41, 45. Bonus number was 14. The jackpot of $ 14,792,527.70 was carried over. Saturday’s estimated jackpot of $ 20 million. INSIDE LOTTERIES A 2 FRIDAY, MARCH 20, 2015 winnipegfreepress. com I T’S officially spring, a romantic time when a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of stealing a goat. You know there has to be something magical in the air when you stumble on news reports stating three American teens have been arrested for stealing a goat as part of an elaborate scheme to ask a girl on a date. If this makes no sense to you, chances are you have never been a teenage boy whose brain is in thrall to raging hormones, or you do not currently own a teenage boy. According to an urgent news story, a neighbour of the goat’s owners called police near Atlanta, after spotting a group of male teenagers loading something into a truck, then speeding away. When police caught up with the truck, inside they discovered Chip, a two- year- old goat, who was unharmed. They returned to its owner, whose daughter keeps it as a pet. You are probably wondering why a human being, let alone a teenage boy, would want to steal a goat. Well, that is exactly what the police were wondering, too. Which is when one of the kids, a 17- year- old named Jacob, explained he had a legitimate reason for stealing the goat because he intended to ask his would- be date the following question: “ Would you goat with me to prom?” Ha ha ha! No, seriously! Would you goat with me to prom? Without giving the matter much thought, it is safe to say this is the sort of shocking modern crime that divides readers along gender lines as follows: Typical female reaction: “ Huh?” Typical male reaction ( slapping forehead) : “ Stealing a goat! Why didn’t I ever think of that???” Look, let me state that, in most circumstances, I am strongly opposed to the theft of livestock. But, in this case, even though I know it is morally wrong, I have to give this kid a little credit for ingenuity. Also, I think local law enforcement should be thanking its lucky stars these kids did not steal something much larger, such as the engine from a passenger train, which they would drive up to some innocent girl’s front door so that Jacob could boldly declare: “ I choo choo choose you to go to prom with me!” I would not have tried this approach in high school, but, out of journalistic fairness, I should point out I did not have easy access to pet goats or railroad engines. From what I hear, back when my dad was young, teens would swipe melons from the store to use as props when asking girls for dates. “ I know you cantaloupe, but oh honeydew!” was my dad’s killer produce- inspired pickup line in the days before video games. The point I am trying to make, and every guy reading today’s column knows this to be true, is that there are few things as potentially hazardous as standing in front of someone you barely know and asking them to go out with you. It makes no sense to me, but women tend to favour the direct approach, wherein you just walk right up to someone and blurt: “ Hey, would you like to go on a date?” In contrast, guys know direct contact is fraught with danger and should only be attempted as a last resort, especially if you do not live in a rural area teeming with unguarded livestock. The system favoured when I was dating involved studiously avoiding contact with the person you wanted to date. Instead, you asked the friend of a friend to casually approach a friend of the person you wanted to date, who would then act as a sort of UN envoy and would ask your intended romantic target whether, maybe, perhaps, they would not become ill if you asked them to go to a movie. Sometimes, more extreme measures are required. For instance, I would not have met my wife had I not attended a party in a friend’s basement, where, while playing air guitar to some ear- splitting rock song, I jumped in the air, accidentally smashing a low- hanging light fixture with my head, thereby sending shards of glass flying around the dance floor and attracting the attention of my wife- to- be. My future wife: “ Excuse me, are you OK?” Me: “ WILL YOU MARRY ME?” I may have skipped a few steps, but I’m pretty sure the chain of events went like that. If you are unwilling to shatter light fixtures, you are going to have to rely on self- confidence. So my dating advice is this: Go ahead! Take the plunge! Walk right up to someone you’d like to date and hand them a thoughtful greeting card wherein you reveal your innermost feelings. The words in the card don’t matter, because, when you get right down to it, it’s the goat that counts. doug. speirs@ freepress. mb. ca TREVOR HAGAN / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS FILES When you’re a lad and you’re interested in a lass, you might be tempted to steal her goat. It beats the direct approach, apparently. Kids will be kids Teen boys steal a goat in the name of love In the Doug House Doug Speirs WASHINGTON — The Prince of Wales and his wife, Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, have had a jam- packed visit to the U. S., which concludes today in Louisville, Ky., after three days in Washington. The royal visit isn’t just about sightseeing at such landmarks as Mount Vernon and the Lincoln Memorial. It’s also about developing goodwill and promoting causes. Prince Charles, a conservationist, spoke in Washington of his work preserving marine life, received an award named for president Teddy Roosevelt and made a surprise visit to a Smithsonian museum to discuss an upcoming exhibit on the ancient arts and crafts of Kabul, Afghanistan. In Louisville he’ll give a speech in the city’s Cathedral of the Assumption, on the connection of health and land and sustainability in agriculture. He and Camilla will visit a food project for young people at a local farm and stop by the 1.5- kilometre- long pedestrian and bicycle bridge that opened last year crossing the Ohio River. British Ambassador Peter Westmacott, using the acronym for non- governmental organizations, described Prince Charles this week as “ a one- man NGO.” At the White House Oval Office Thursday, President Barack Obama told Prince Charles when the press was briefly allowed in the room, “ I think it’s fair to say that the American people are quite fond of the Royal Family.” The prince said, “ That’s awfully nice to know.” And Obama said, “ They like them much better than they like their own politicians.” Prince Charles, 66, has spent years promoting conservation through the multimillion- dollar Prince’s Trust and other organizations. “ He’s trying to prove he’s a serious person waiting to be king,” said Allan J. Lichtman, a history professor at American University. “ Prince Charles is a fantastic convener,” said John Gantt of the International Conservation Caucus Foundation, which gave the prince the Teddy Roosevelt award for “ his extraordinary conservation leadership.” — McClatchy Charles, Camilla bask in warm U. S. welcome A_ 04_ Mar- 20- 15_ FP_ 01. indd A2 3/ 19/ 15 10: 25: 52 PM