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Winnipeg Free Press Newspaper Archives Aug 22 2015, Page 2

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Winnipeg Free Press (Newspaper) - August 22, 2015, Winnipeg, Manitoba C M Y K PAGE A2 964 REGENT AVE. W. SPECIAL SALES HOTLINE 1- 800- 616- 6551 OPEN 24 HOURS www . vickarchevrolet. ca ( Including Winnipeg) FOR ADDITIONAL SAVINGS OVER AND ABOVE WHAT YOU SEE! “ LIKE” US ON & FOLLOW US ON V O L UM E D EA LE R IN C ANA D A # 1 2012 & 201 4 Dealer Permit # 9714 HOURS MON TUES 8: 30AM - 9: 00PM WED - SAT 8: 30AM - 6: 00PM Contact Kevin Parkes Your Vickar Credit Specialist 1- 800- 361- 1368 Online at: yourapprovedauto. ca DON’T FORGET TO ASK ABOUT: • $ 1000 Canadian Forces Rebate • $ 1000 New to Canada Rebate ( No Credit required) • $ 500 Student Bonus • Upto $ 1500 GM Loyalty EXCLUSIVE TO VICKAR!! Example of Finance: $ 18,000 at 3.99% apr. over 60 months = cost of borrowing $ 1,911. All prices and payments are plus taxes. All pricing in payments include lowest GM loyalty discount. 2015 Cruze lease at 48mo term, 20,000km/ yr. First payment due at signing. Over mileage @ 0.16/ km. Sunroof & Pioneer Stereo! Full power group touchscreen radio. HURRY IN FOR BEST SELECTION! LEASE FOR 2015 CHEVY CRUZE LT EST STK.# FC2123 WIFI ENABLED VEHICLE 1 Available 2015 Chevy Trax What a Deal! Power windows and doors, Bluetooth, USB port, and WiFi. hevy # FT0215 C WIFI ENABLED VEHICLE ort, $ 18,949* $ 49 / WK* 0% FOR 84 MO. 2 Available 2015 Chevy FC7455 Camaro LT Not the Camaro everyone else is advertising! Full power group, 19” wheels, touch screen radio, Bluetooth with audio streaming, power seats, fog lights, sunroof and premium sound! CASH PRICE 1 Available SUNROOF SUNROOF $ 28,949* $ 89 / WK* 0% FOR 84 MO. CASH PRICE $ 19,995* $ 76 / WK* 0% FOR 84 MO. CASH PRICE 2015 Chevy Equinox LS Manitoba’s Largest Equinox Dealer! Over 150 to choose from. Don’t miss your chance to take advantage of this incredible offer. # FT2480 WIFI ENABLED VEHICLE est ose 1 Available $ 22,667* $ 69 / WK* 0% FOR 84 MO. CASH PRICE $ 19,799 ** $ 99 ** B/ W 0 % FOR 48 MO., 20,000 KM/ YR 2015 Chevy Malibu LT Aluminum wheels, USB, 7” touch screen. Bluetooth streaming, XM radio plus much more. NOT THE BASIC CAR EVERYONE ELSE IS ADVERTISING! 3 Available # FC6112 $ 25,999 **$ 93 ** / wk CASH PRICE 0 % FOR 84 MO. 2015 CHEVY SILVERADO DBL CAB LS P. locks, p. windows, Bluetooth, WiFi, Mylink, radio, keyless entry, chrome apprearance wheels, XM radio 2015 Chevy Colorado Ext 2WD Very well- equipped with air, tilt, pwr wind/ pwr dr locks, 4 way pwr driver’s seat, back camera plus much more. # FT9768 Free Set of Winter Tires vy ped air 0 % for 84 mo. Over 390 Brand New Silverados available! 333 5 * WIFI ENABLED VEHICLE 1 Ch Available ter $ 23,999* $ 67 / WK* 0 % for 84 mo CASH PRICE 2015 Chevy Sonic Power doors, keyless entry, Bluetooth, WiFi 2 Available FC6267 0% FOR 84 MO. $ 14,899* $ 42 / WK* FINANCE PRICE WIFI ENABLED VEHICLE 2 S S D D L L 0% UP TO 84 MONTHS O N VIRTUALLY E VERY BRAND NEW 2015 VEHICLE! OVER 900 VEHICLES ELIGIBLE FOR 0% TO CHOOSE FROM STK .# FT7 542 6 1 Available SPECIAL SALE HOURS! TODAY 8: 30AM - 6: 00PM MONDAY 8: 30AM - 9: 00PM WINNIPEG FREE PRESS 1355 Mountain Avenue Winnipeg, Manitoba, R2X 3B6 Privacy policy and questions www. winnipegfreepress. com/ privacy. html CIRCULATION INQUIRIES MISSING OR INCOMPLETE PAPER? Call or email before 11 a. m. weekdays or noon Saturday City / 204- 697- 7001 Outside Winnipeg / 1- 800- 542- 8900 press 1 6: 30 a. m. - 5 p. m. M- F. 7 a. m. - noon Saturday Closed Sunday fpcirc@ freepress. mb. ca TO SUBSCRIBE — 204- 697- 7001 Out of Winnipeg — 1- 800- 542- 8900 ADVERTISING Classified ( M- F) — 204- 697- 7100 wfpclass@ freepress. mb. ca Obituaries ( Sun- Fri) — 204- 697- 7384 Display Advertising — 204- 697- 7122 FP. Advertising@ freepress. mb. ca EDITORIAL Newsroom 204- 697- 7301 News tip 204- 697- 7292 Fax 204- 697- 7412 Photo desk 204- 697- 7304 Sports desk 204- 697- 7285 Business news 204- 697- 7301 PHOTO REPRINTS — 204- 697- 7063 City desk / City. desk@ freepress. mb. ca Letters to the editor / Letters@ freepress. mb. ca WATCH: Former Bombers boss Mike Riley takes on a new challenge . TODAY ON WINNIPEGFREEPRESS. COM READER SERVICE / GENERAL INQUIRIES 204- 697- 7000 ¥ A 2 SATURDAY, AUGUST 22, 2015 winnipegfreepress. com N OT that anyone asked, but here is the current list of things that terrify me: 1) Bears; 2) Telemarketers; 3) Spiders; 4) Teenagers; 5) Wasps. The truth is, I’m seriously considering moving the last item on the list up a few notches, because we are currently suffering through an outbreak of wasps the size of regulation volleyballs. Making matters worse is the fact your modern wasp has a serious attitude problem. We are not talking about fun- loving insects along the lines of those chubby cartoon- style bumblebees. No, the wasps swarming around the decaying crabapples in my backyard are a lot like the annoying black- clad teenagers congregating around the local 7- Eleven store, except they don’t fly away when you play Neil Diamond songs at full volume. You know how when you go out to, say, a patio and you sit down with a bunch of friends to enjoy a few festive cocktails and then, suddenly and without warning, you are dive- bombed by a squadron of wasps, and they ignore everyone at the table except for one person, whom they zero in on and fly directly into their forehead until they erupt in a full- blown panic attack and begin shrieking and swatting wildly as if they were covered from head to foot in an army of fire ants? Well, I am that person! I am the guy wasps love. It makes no sense to me, unless the wasps are attracted by the stench of fear exuding from my pores, along with the delightfully floral scent of my antiperspirant. “ We don’t know what it is about you, Doug, but we find your aroma intoxicating,” is the telepathic message wasps send me every summer. I don’t know when I developed an irrational fear of wasps. I am pretty sure it predates the one time I was stung. This occurred when I was in a friend’s wedding party and everyone was dressed up in formal attire and attempting to squeeze into the back of a fluorescent- coloured limousine. After we piled in the vehicle, one of the bridesmaids asked me to hold her bouquet, which apparently concealed an uninvited wasp, which began stinging me repeatedly on the forearm, which caused me to begin shrieking — “ AIEEEEEEEEEE!!!” — in an ear- piercing manner like the smoke alarm in your kitchen after bacon grease accidentally bursts into flames. I vividly recall sitting in the back of that car shrieking while the wasp repeatedly stung my arm until — and I am not proud of this next bit — the beautiful bridesmaid scowled at me, rolled her eyes, and liquidated the wasp via the technique of squishing it with her purse. So wasps and I have a bit of a history, which is why I became deeply concerned this week when I spotted not one, but three fully functioning wasps hanging around our kitchen in a menacing manner. Fortunately, having had previous experience with these pests, I knew what to do. “ HONEY!” I shrieked to alert my wife, She Who Must Not Be Named, “ THERE ARE THREE ( BAD WORD) WASPS IN THE KITCHEN! GET YOUR PURSE!” Under our marital agreement, I am responsible for dispatching mice that illegally enter our house, whereas my wife’s duties include eliminating anything that can sting me or slap me with a lawsuit. When my wife arrived, I bravely pointed out a gaping hole in the window screen. “ You know, you really should plug that hole,” I suggested politely, “ because that’s how they’re getting in.” Oddly, my wife did not seem to appreciate that tip. What she did was reach under the sink and pull out our high- tech bug swatter, which resembles a plastic tennis racquet and, thanks to a couple of batteries, allows the user to dispatch flying insects by electrocuting them with a satisfying “ ZAP!” sound accompanied by a faint sizzling aroma. In this case, however, the batteries were clearly dead, so instead of zapping the wasps into the next world, my wife’s wild swings simply batted the bugs at me like errant tennis balls with stingers sticking out of their nether regions. “ STOP THAT!” I squealed, dodging the wasps, who were visibly upset with my wife’s attempts at volleying them around the kitchen. “ YOU’RE JUST MAKING THEM ANGRY!” You are going to be shocked to hear this, but my wife seemed to find the whole thing amusing, even though I was forced to run down the hall wailing at a pitch that most likely shattered the windows in apartment blocks in downtown Grand Forks. Until my wife fixes that hole in the window screen, I am going to be forced to take serious steps to deal with the wasp problem. I’m either going to buy new batteries, or start playing Neil Diamond songs around the clock. Sure, Cracklin’ Rosie and Sweet Caroline may not get rid of the wasps, but at least I’ll be able to find a parking spot at the 7- Eleven. doug. speirs@ freepress. mb. ca Arts & Life E 1 Business B 6 Books D 21 Careers B 14 Classified C 14 Comics E 11, F 9 Community Voices A 19 Diversions D 18,19 Editorials A 14 49.8 D 1 Horoscope E 4 Homes G 1 Jumble C 14 Letters to the Editor A 14 Miss Lonelyhearts E 4 Movies E 9 Sports C 1 Travel F 1 TV C 16 Weather C 17 . OBITUARIES A 30 Due to a change in policy by Western Canada Lotteries Corp., winning lottery numbers are not available by press time. Sunday’s paper will have both Friday’s Lotto Max and today’s 6/ 49 winning numbers. LOTTERIES CLARIFICATION INSIDE CANADA POST SALES AGREEMENT NO. 0563595 Recycled newsprint is used in the production of the newspaper. Please recycle. Wasps love to hurt me; that stings In the Doug House Doug Speirs RUTH BONNEVILLE / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS FILES Wasps have a love- hate relationship with Doug. John Leggat, CEO and president of St. Amant, has noted St. Amant community residences offer a higher staff- to- patient ratio than at the Complex Care Residence. Incorrect information appeared in a story Friday. A_ 02_ Aug- 22- 15_ FP_ 01. indd A2 8/ 21/ 15 10: 17: 16 PM

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