Page 1 of 21 Jan 1970 Issue of The Lantern in Baytown, Texas

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The Lantern (Newspaper) - January 21, 1970, Baytown, TexasExam . You feel it all over your body. Your eyes are bloodshot, your hand is quivering, your head hurts, and your stomach is empty. Sound familiar? For the uninitiated, this represents a case of acute cramitis, a disease of the brain that affects many college students this time of the year. The cure? A complete removal of any thought of studying for at least 20 minutes. For your convenience, we have listed 15 of the most effective ways of doing this in semi-alphabetical order. Those listed here are some of the most popular ever devised in this century. Very potent. Read at your own risk. 1. Look up the name of the first witch in Salem. Think of ten ways to work it into an answer on a trig exam. • 2. Go to Pitt Grill. Eat a piece of coconut cream pie. What the heck—eat two pieces. 3. Go to the library. Count the books. 4. See how many words you can make from the letters NO DOZ. 5. Make an inquiry concerning the cost of sky diving and where lessons can be taken. Even if you are not interested, it’s good information. 6. Think of 20 names for a pet gerbil. 7. Run outside and hold a *‘dance in celebration of icicles” in the street. 8. Hold a seance. Try to contact the ghost of Marie Antoinette. 9. Find out to say “I love you” in at least 16 different languages. Who knows, you might need it some day. 10. Call Andrew Fabacher, collect. 11. Turn on the T.V. Watch the worst movie on. See if you can guess what the actors are going to say before they say it. Heckle the commercials. , 12. Say the word “cockroach” in Pig Latin as fast as you can, 1,863 times nonstop. 13. Jog around the block backwards to stimulate your brain. 14. Memorize the words to an obscure Russian drinking song. 15. Make cookies for someone you don’t like. Eat them yourself. Now stop and consider the implications of any of these acts. Feel your mind go. Savor the sensation. Then worry about how a yo-yo like you can pass any exam. Start studying again. Repeat as many times as necessary. Vol. 33—Number 8 Lee College January 21, 1970

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