Postville Post in Postville, Iowa
9 Nov 1882

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Postville Post in Postville, Iowa
9 Nov 1882

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Postville Post (Newspaper) - November 9, 1882, Postville, Iowa Toots bus of decay. Itch tollo Wink to a trans Lytton from on Ano Lont ski Semi Ivicin lilo i says Tho cd Luburgh Mevin Mirium foil by nothing with which to ovo in Iho Span he language except Tho Oagot lignin do Oil lot Tho soul its slumbers break Araso its Xenos uni Uunko to by niches Long and can jump a. Stake and rider Fence without touching a Hoof. Thistle pod has always been notorious for keeping miserable Stock. J the usual Eulogi Stic personal Par graph was supplanted by the following personal old Archie Mcintosh left town last evening to the great Delight of All his acquaintances he has no friends for a trip to mud Lake. He loft a note for us stating that he was going for his health. This Means a two weeks drunk. We wonder who Lent him enough Money to get out of town v but the crowning glory of Tho morning Jamboree was Tho concert notice. It read As follows grand regular annual exhibition of Good clothes and bad music that has grown to be a feature of the musical world in Shawneetown came off inst evening at the opera House. Every seat in the Hall was taken for our patient Community has become accustomed to this infliction and submits to it without a murmur four or five times a year very much As they take quinine in the Spring. Those people who came stamping in late As usual after the Shawneetown style Are to be congratulated this time As they escaped hearing the Arion Quartetti sing Here in Cool it it due to Tho Arion Quartetti however to say this was not the worst singing of the evening. The audience thought it certainly would be Tho worst and so indeed it was until later in the evening the same Quartetti butchered " come where my love lies it was dreadful beyond description and the deafening applause which followed it Only testified Tho great Joy of the audience on being assured that the Arion Quartetti would sing no More that evening. Miss Abigail magi Ulessy rendered a recitative and aria by Cappola in Tho manner that has Long ago become so sadly familiar to our suffering people and is always a source of profound embarrassment to the accompanist who floundered along last night in the patient but vain Hope of getting even with the Singer somewhere by scrambling across lots and heading her Oft in some Unlusu Illy prolonged run. But this was impossible and Singer and accompanist were never within six bars of each other during the whole of the alleged performance. Or. Pound away the time honoured accompanist in All these affairs by Tho Way did oven worse than usual last evening. We Are pained to notice that his habit of playing on the Edge of the piano two inches away from the keys grows upon him and he should either change his drinks or his vocation. Mrs. Bangalo played monastery Bells As to usual. It was disguised under a French name in the programme but every one knows what is coming after mrs. Bangalo finally gets the piano moved into precisely Tho right place which is always just where it stood before she had moved it the first time and after seating herself for the fiftieth time finally concludes to remain seated. Mrs. Bangalo s unvarying habit of wearing her gloves to the piano and occupying seven minutes in removing them is not an affectation. It is an act of mercy and gives the people nearest the door an Opportunity to slip out before she begins to play. " the reporters of the City press used to go out at this time but since Bangalo has taken to standing door to watch refugees they have with excellent taste and better judgment abandoned the custom and silently swallowed their full cup of misery. As mrs. Bangalo left the stage Joab Grabey who was asleep in the gallery fell off his chair and mistaking Tho noise for an encore mrs. Bangalo returned and pounded out the Maiden s somebody ought to kill that Man Grabey. Professor sow Post played a violin Solo de Beriot s " seventh everybody was grateful to limit he did to try Tho eighth. The professor dresses Liko a waiter and handles a fiddle Liko a graduate from a Side show. To is in Groat demand at All the dances Down at wyso later s Branch and Tho Sassafras Bottoms Aud it is believed in fact that All his musical education was acquired at Dan Coleman s store at the old Ford on Clymer s Creek. He is trying to get up a class in this City and if this Man attempts to teach our boys to play Tho fiddle is he does he ought to be lynched. And he will be if the 2yim-Boree has any influence in musical circles. It was As Good As a circus to hear Madame Para Luiu sing Robert Toi quo if Tho old lady s lungs were is big As her feet she might sing More and less. As it is Candor compels to say that a Case of asthma weighing 217 pounds is no artistic addition to a concert. Miss upper Cea played the same old improvisation she began playing in those concerts eighteen years ago. I lasts about As Well As her diamonds and changes about As Little. It is time she had it published and improvised something new. Jim Thurlow came out and Sang his unchanging a so the agony of the audience during this time of trial was fairly insupportable. His High notes Are greatly admired because Bis voice always Breaks into a thin falsetto squeak on them and to can t make so much As he can on his Best Chest tones. If Jim had been born dumb or his audience deaf the world would be much happier. Some Lime he will go away from Homo and sing and the Jungo will give him sixty Days for it. Still this would not to extravagant. His singing is Worth it every Day of it. The Only excuse for putting Bliss Maltby on the programme every time there is a concert in Shawneetown is that her father is Worth $80,000 and owns the biggest brewery in Lowell county. With n voice musical education and general ability about up to Tho Grade of baby mine she Sang her old stand by last night the spinning wheel song from if Marguerite could have Sung it As miss Maltby Sang it it would have saved the poor child a world of trouble. It would have scared Faust mephistopheles and Tho whole gang of them out of the country. There is More music in or. Maltby s Bung starters than there is in his daughter. Mueh has heretofore been said in these columns about miss Maltby s Beauty. While the spirit of truth is upon us a a att free to admit that she is pretty in the dark. Or. Bellows Sang Ohye or. Bellows has a Rich baritone voice a wheelbarrow tone that is. Unfortunately for his Effort last evening nobody knew he was singing until he finished the butchery of Art and bowed himself off the stage. Everybody thought he was just trying his voice. If Ever his voice is tried it will to convicted on its own evidence. James h. Blouson and Elbert Haft Sang Larboard it is a great pity these Young men Are not aware that their Mouths were made to catch flies rather than for singing. Haft s voice is so like a fog Horn that he May be pardoned for a tendency to sing Marine songs but aside from a plea of natural depravity and fiendish misanthropy there is no excuse whatever for blouson s attempting to sing in Public. These misguided Young men were Down on the programme for a second atrocity but it was omitted at Tho urgent request of the audience. The piano used at this massacre was the same jingling old harpsichord from the music store of Jingle jangle & co., that has appeared for a free puff at All local outrages of a musical nature for the past Twenty years. Last year this enterprising Bouse traded off the old dulcimer for a s Lver watch but the Man who got the alleged piano brought it Back paid $7 forfeit and got his watch and,.we suppose All future concerts ill Shawneetown will be Hart Ted by this venerable Nightmare until the police interfere. Our be delighted to learn that this is the last concert of the season and a Man can go to Tho opera House in safety for the next six months. The receipts of the pandemonium were $430, and old Hardwich proprietor of the Hall with his accustomed rapacity gobbled nearly one fourth of that sum for the use of an old barn that looks shabby in comparison with a Sec Ondy Rutte Market House. Six of the thickest headed Young men in Shawneetown in borrowed dress Coats acted As Ushers and acted most wretched la at that. Taken altogether it was the Deariest occasion that has bored a Long suffering Community since the concert that preceded it. # at Tho office of the Jamboree people waited for or. Stiehl pen but he did not come. As the Day wove away men sought Liim at his lodgings but he was not there. All that the ticket agent at the station could Tel wbb that when he bought his ticket for san Antonio tex., or. Stiehl pen stated that he had been appointed United states minister to that port and had Beon ordered to proceed thither and enter upon his duties at once and that in All likelihood he would not return to this country until the peruvian troubles were All settled. They never saw Hirn again. But Long Long after he had disappeared mocking but Anonymous postal cards used to come to the members of the Mendelssohn chorus society of Shawneetown asking them to sing him something easy. And Oft As they Road them Tho vocalists choked a rising sigh and As Thev thought of Tho absent reporter wished that wherever to was the Earth might open and Swallow him . J. Iii a Detic. Somnambulist in bogs. There is something Peculiar about somnambulist when considered from a scientific and philosophical standpoint. The sleep Walker it will be found still retains a dim idea even while he is asleep of the condition of affairs when he went to sleep. For instance if he leaves his clothes in a certain part of the room on retiring he knows when to rises just where to find them oven in the dark. This is a question which opens up a wonderful Field for physiological and mental research. When Young and Giddy we became a somnambulist and excited a great Deal of curiosity by our strange freaks during sleep and this Ono question of Tho slumbering mind and its memory of facts existing prior to sleep was the most remarkable thing about it All to us. We puzzled Over that a Good Deal. At night we would retire to rest and the next thing we would know we would Wake up in the Middle of a contiguous Melon Patch and there would be two or three other somnambulist there in the same Patch and As much surprised As we were. Still there is the same truth staring us in the face. Every somnambulist there had through his sleep retained in his Semi conscious state a perfect recollection of where every article of his clothing was and How to get out of the up stairs window without waiving the old people. By and by Tho owner of the Melon Patch procured at a great expense a Large humorous bulldog who was also a somnambulist. To walked in his sleep a Good Deal. That is Why we quit. We did t propose to descend to the level of the Bruto creation. We just said if a bulldog wants to Semnani he can do so and we will leave the Field to him. We made this Resolution one a right just after we had plugged a Watermelon. While stooping Over in the act we Felt a Pang of conscience and heard our suspenders break. Perhaps the casual Reader has never sat. Down on a Buzz saw and Felt himself gradually fading away. If so he does not know what it is to form the acquaintance of a somnambulist bulldog in the prime of life. After that somnambulist did t have such a run in our family for a Wilile. We never slept so sound that we did t remember places and objects that had made an impression on us prior to slumber and that is Why we say that there is something in this matter that scientists would do Well to look into. Mil an artist s Iteva Igic one of the most eminent painters of Paris was lately commissioned to paint the portrait of a lady who was some years ago a famous Beauty but who is now nearer her fiftieth than her Fortieth year. She wished the portrait to be exhibited in this year s Salon and gave the artist endless trouble Over its details. When it was finished however she was far from contented and declared that she could not recognize her own likeness in his conscientious piece of work. The Painter said she need not have the picture if she did not think it to be a faithful one and it remained in his atelier As his own unsold property. Meanwhile he was determined to have his revenge for the insult done to his Pride As an artist and the loss to his pocket As one who lived by his Art. In order that the picture should not remain apiece of dead capital be resolved to transform it from a portrait into a subject. A few Days before the private exhibition the lady in question was informed by a Well instructed Friend that Tho artist had introduced a number of accessories into her portrait which were Likely to Compromise her reputation. She drove off in great haste to the Painter s studio and asked to see the picture. The wish was promptly gratified. There she stood upon the Canvas life like and size like but the cruel artist had thinned her hair to Semi baldness and in one of her hands she held two Long tresses of false hair. Upon the table at her Side which he had changed into a toilet table were ranged a number of bottles labelled respectively with the words milk of lilies Beauty water elixir against wrinkles Golden hair the lady cried out that such treatment was in Thomous. Yon have really no complaint Madam said the artist. You have already declared that the picture is in no sense a portrait of yourself. I accept your opinion and As i cannot afford to lose so much hard work i have treated it As a fantastic piece and As such i Squill introduce it to Tho Public. I Mea Irto Call it the coquette of fifty years " what exclaimed she. You mean to exhibit it the lady immediately begged him to accept the stipulated sum for the portrait and after she had seen the compromising accessories obliterated in her presence took out her Check Book and bought the picture on the Echo Jennie Jitney in her talks with women says encourage the girls to go into business pay them salaries As Book keepers take them into partnership Start them in a Pursuit for which they have a Talent and in every Way help them to be useful and honorable in the world not by talking but by doing. Give the g re of the period a Chance and she will prove herself worthy of the Thili engraving represents the a tags is a healthy state a 6000 family remedy strictly pure. Harmless to the most delicate by it faithful Mae com been ctr lied when other Riik Lioa Aud have failed to effect a cure William c. Dial mfr merchant of bowl bar Greffo a a Tito april 4, Istatt that to wants us to know thai Tho Long Balaam tvs cured am Mother of con i no thaw after tie Phetsi Cifen had Given her up m incurable. He Rayfl others knowing her Cufeto Hugo taken flip Balsam and Beon cured he thinks All to afflicted should give it a trial. William a. Graham & co., wholesale do purists Zanesville Ohio write us of the cure of Ivi atias Freeman a Well known citizen who had been att listed with bronchitis in Ite worst form for twelve years. The lung Balsam cured him. A it has Many others of bronchitis. As an expectorant it has no equal. For Sale by All Illch Liuo dealers. The week 0 0cl, 1882. Irria Mutual co operative 141 & 143 Lasalle.St., Chicago. For i Xiv suit Ami profitable of  Smitall and medium amounts Are pct to on Tia tar tit of melt Muu tit. Lut itt of Uncini a draft in a ii to i menu. Of the i Voith made on Lucioli share of fund a during Jyh mkt la Mouth or from May .St, ism to not. In liars of $10 w Mhz May. Ism. June. July. A. Antr., "hunt., "o.t. Nov. Jan. K 83. Feb. Maw of. April May. June. A. July "auir.,sept. Oct., Provite on each share of $10 for 18 months.hkh4.12 of j3 dividends or profits an paid monthly. Statements Are sent weekly to shareholders giving at count of trades made for the week a. Owing to the Many changes in values during the last seventeen months a trades were made and cloned without profit to the fund which were full explained in former statements to yet notwithstanding these Trade u profit of a was Mode on each share and to Are pleased to hear of the general satisfaction of share Holicis. .46 it .?4.fi0 Lis .4.1 4 .b0 ,.st ii i jul u8.v0 .r.i5.10 .40. 4.0k i. I.w.411 "4js0 .45 "4.50 in. 4.15 As . "2.75 .30 "3.00 Siu. 2.50 sea.  october trades of fund w. First week october profits Are 11 1-2 per cent. Second week october profits Are s per cent. Tii ird Welc october profits Are s 1-2 per cent. Fourth week october profits Are 8 3-4 per cent. Of $sm7 1-2 profits Foll the month of octo Jelt. 45tfuhc. And  tata. Bumble Isreel. " Minn Idab Ammri a Sauna a rift. Per hour

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