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Ohio Cincinnati Weekly Times Newspaper Archives Mar 6 1884, Page 1

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Cincinnati Weekly Times (Newspaper) - March 6, 1884, Cincinnati, Ohio Vol. XLI. Xo. lO.OI]^OIIVXXTI, THURSDJLY, MXROH 6, $1 Per Year, Tcronnial Bcaiitj. Evor till' sjirinp rctiinis with ikies serene, Anil Imlniv hre:illi of infant hiiils and (lowers; Ever the liifls renew llieir iiriina! green, Ami niclixlies that giauitened earth's first hours Are heani again in mtui; aiuvtol screen. TV arm liearts tnm cold, «jtilek pulses cense to beat. BV AmHovuft^ws langnid Wi the lapse 0^ time; l«t betntjr 4iU tent|as>'tfutk's ptirsiilQg ftet, Bliclit eves are endless thdlaes i«r paSBlonsd paSBlonid rliyine, And lovers' vows T’iUL bp forever sweet. ? Í Great souls have died for truth and left their ftiinu To tie tlic wntchwonl of another tige; But virtue, justice, courage and high aim i>CM etHl thruugh time, a e.oiiiiiioti lieiitage. And hei-ues live to-day in all but name. Years wax and wane, the good and tme re-iiutiii; How sweet love is mine own heart telleth me, Mine eves have seen the Mimmer in thenlain. And in the uruwdoil t l.«et, tinwitttngiy, 1 may have passed a mart vr in Ids uala.    % —1( hariesL.iradreth. KEW9 AND NOTES. The Governor of North Carolina grantt so pardons. Dr. Kimball, ot Blacketone, Mata., died Is equalor, leaving |8},0(K). Christine Nilsson owns fl25,000 worth of real estate in New York City. Ur, Bitcklc, temt>orari!y editor of tiie London Times, ii only tliirty years old. ficechor says Ibe an^'els iioid their noses when they look down on a Wall street man. Queen Victoria is said to look older than before her illness, and her hair is whitening. There is a hanking Arm in 8an Francisco composed of four ladies and two gentlemen. Victor Hugo is building himself a new house, with splendid grounds, after bis own arcliiUictural designs. A Vlclorl.T (Coluinblii) Chinaman, worth $200,000, is to marry a w bite girl, with the consent of her parents. The Governor of 31ii-biean gives petitions for pardons full publicity liefore he takes any other action in regard to them. The Iowa Legisluturc recently defeated a bill raising the salaries of judges in that State from $2,000 to $3,000 per annum. Henry M. Alden, the editor of Harper’s Uonthly, and George William Curtis, the editor of the Weekly, are paid $10,100 a year each. An Antl-Staiwation Club is a novelty of Ce<lnr Rapids. The oliject is to provide for members the best boarding uccommodatious at the lowest terms. Uennonitcs in Nebraska occupy three whole counties, arc good farmers and hard workers, and so economical that their prosperity is remarkable. • Resolution by tho miners of Alenc, Dak,: “Not a Cliinainun shall ever enter the diggings unless he climbs a tree with one end of a lariat over a limb.” New Orleans has taken up the subject of cremation. A society bus several hundred mcmlicrg, embracing most of the physicians and many lawyers, merchants and other business men. llie London society Journals announoe that a marriage will take place between tlie Hon. Lioiielle Tennyson, the eldest son of the iKict, w ho is now liaron Tennyson, of Aldwortli, and Hiss Boyle. Tennyson’s w'cund son, Hulluiu, was married last summer. A “gentleman sf cdocation and experience” advertises in a Dcs Moines paper tiint he wishes employment in writing speeches for members of tho Legislature, lie will prepare at short notice addressee for or against proh'.bitioii, woman suflrage, or any other siilijcct desired. His terms are $5 for a ten minutes’ speech and $2 for each additional five minutes, ‘‘satisfaction guaranteed” and coufideiioe obscrvtd.” Kate Field says that when she goes to Massnciineetts, “the laud of the Pilgrim fathers, the home of Garrison, Wendell Phillips, Whittier, Lucy Stone and Julia Ward Howe,” she finds that the women, the most enlightened in this country, are praying in vain to have a voiue in the’msk-ing of tiie laws. When slie goes to Utah, “where education is at its lowest and culture almost unknown,” siie finds women enjoying suffrage. A Japanese correspondent of the London Dally News, having assumed that the Mikado was untiopnlar liecause he received no cheers while passing through the streets in state on his birthday, a Japanese gentleman writes In explain that cheering would be regardetl thcro as disorderly. He •expla a piiK; put it ill lier sleeve lit tho foreign minis Hirtber explains that tho net of a youog lady who wrupiied up a pitKie ot cake and tor’s rceoption is ipilto "good form,” and is accepted as an iiidtcation of a high sat-isfiiction which she wishes to «nable those At home to share. Mr. ifiallivan In t ho West, [Virginia (Nev.) riironlcle.) John L. Hulltvan, the liooton esthete, bad better get ba<‘k to his Athenian gin-mill or ho may be taken hack In a box. Wherever he has been in his Western tour be has almost invariably exhibited the brutal side of his character—being simply the Inside and outside—and insulted decent people by threatening lo "slap ’em in der jaws” or to “mopder iioor wid ’em.” ffoino day be will tackle one of those inoffensive little fellows so common on the borders who are quick on lliodraw, and w ho don’t do their sliooting under the Marquis of Queeusberry rules. Then Mr. Hulllviiii’s slugging will Ijc "f no use to him, and he w ill wish he bad cultivated ncilcstrlanlsm more extensively. Shoulu be get knocked out with tiistol iiullet on the first round tiiere would >e little mourning outside of his native Boston. The ¡icople ase getting disgusted with him. A REVEL IN A BALLOON. One bright, earth-light night a lady whose age defied conjecture, though her appearance was of the kind described as “beautiful forever,” was sitting at her work in the window of a pretty scmi-dctacliod villa i-esidcncein the moon. On a stool at her feet squatted a little old man, who was evidently the master of the house and the slave of the lady. Suddenly the latter gave a convulsive start aud dipped her cm-broideiw. “What in the moon’s the matter witli you ?” cried her anxious spouse. “Quick,” she gasjied, “my opera glass, I know it—I feel it. There’s one of those horrid Professors looking at me again—the imiMjrtinent thing; and to think of your sitting there and allowing your wife to Im insulted before yoiir very eyes I” “But darling, I can’t ” “Oh! don’t talk to me! If I’ve told you once. I’ve told you cight-and-twcnty times, to make arrangements for going oft' at a tangent and getting out of the way of that desfostable earth. Apart from the horrid monotony of tho tiling, there’s not a place iiere where I cun escape from those vulgar creatures, who haven’t manners enough to avoid stariug at a lady.” “But yon often stare at them, dear.” “Of course I do, but that’s quite diftorent. Beside, an opera glass isn’t a telescope, and it’s absurd of you to suppose that it is.” “Vos, it was very stupid of me. But perhaps they stare because they’re so struck with your bcafily.” “Struck!” she echoed, indignantly; “I’ll strike tlieni.” And eager to make an example of one of them, she quickly threw her glance over one hemisphere till it rested on London, and at last she caught the oye of a Professor, who was busily engaged in making what is called a spectacle analysis of hors and so fiercely did she stare back at him that the i>oor little man became a raving lunatic on the sijot, and never made any more sjiec-taele analyses. “Poor beggar I” said the other Professors. “Serve him right,” said the woman in Hie moon. “That makes three this mouth.” And siic made a little notch on her glass to show that she had scored oft' him. Somewhat molificd by her success she began to look about, partly to sec if she could catch any more Prefcs-sors, partly to amuse herself. Her eye was arrested by a number of extraordinary objects which wcro jerking almut at one end of the town; but at first she could make nothing of them. Slie cleaned the (glasses on her husband’s cufls, but it made no diflfer-eiicc. “Tho nasty crcatnrcs,” she exclaimed, “to huddle themselves together in the middle of all that smoke. I wonder how they can live. But bless the |)eople,” she went on, as she gradually began to distinguish them, “wliy can’t they walk upright, and look a little less like broken-down wasps ?” “Tilat, mv dear, is the pride that apes humilitv; in fact the celebrated and much-aiímired ‘Grecian bend.’ I heard some gentlemen in a balloon singing altout it.” “Grecian 1 Who ever saw a Greek woman make herself so ridiculous as that? It’s little more than two thousand years since you used to rave about the elegance of their dress, with its graceful folds and loose girdle. What a memory you must have, to siipimsc that they sti-anglcd their waists like that 1 And look at the feet of these creatures. What do they mean by stumbling along on pegs instead of walking?” “They like to make an Impression everywhere, without being fast.” “Keep your stupid jokes for a less disgusting subject, and tell me if the Greek ladies used to put pegs in their sandals aud tilt tliemsclves forward. Why, wo slioiild as soon have thought of seeing the Pyramids with a slant like tho Tower of Pisa, and trotting along wrong way up. But how do these people manage to get on their boots r” “Just as you get on a roof—by climbing I” “Nonsense 1” “Il’s a fact, and they carry two little pauicrs to be lifted up in, one for each boot.” “Well, as yoq^know so much about them,” she went on, still looking through lier glass, “perhaps you’ll teli me why they wear those great lumps of horsehair, or something like it, on their heads?” “They think that chevelurc must come from cheval,” he answered; but he was sorry for it the next moment, when lie received a smart box on the ear. “Now, then, you’ll be serious, and answer my questions properly ?” “Yes, my dear, certainly,” ho replied, very humbly. “Pll tell yon all I know about it, and I’ll tell it you exactly as I heard it sung bv a balloon party. First comes the questions : With titeiMM light and wry. And delicate feet so siuaU and neat That well might grace a fairy— Ah! wliy do tlwy prefer to wrcuch Their niikles out of joint. And atiiini» uioiig on cribbuge pega Which iMJom to have no poiut. Prar, whydo pretty English girla, Wiih tre^ien soft and long. And ringlete fair of golden hair So famed in poet’s song— Wliy do they think it fine to wear A thing 80 coarse aud stule. And place rigid on a woman’s bead A left-off horse’s tailT Tjie chorus of which I don’t quite n*nieml>er the words, gives the obvious answer to all these questions.” ‘•And what is that?” “The poor things are afraid of tumbling backwards 1” “And so ?” “Aud so they must have tight harness and lean well forward; aud they must get a good -firm hold of the ground; and, above all, they want a nice cusiiion of hair to save a nasty concussion of the brain ?” ‘•And why arc they afraid of tumbling backwards ?” “Because they’ve been completely tlirown ofl’ their balance.” “How ?” “My dear,” he answered solemnly, “if their votes, and their Married Women’s Proiierty Acts, and their doctresses and their proctresscs, and their women’s rights and wrongs con-coctresses aren’t enough to upset any women’s equilibrium, perhaps you’ll l>c good enough to tell mo what would.” “At last you’ve given me a sensible answer. But tliat doesn’t explain their painting their faces. Surely (hey can’t expect to deceive anybody by it, for 1 can see the powder from here,” ‘•Yes I they think they look blooming, but they look blue.’’ Here a wild bursi of melody greeted tlicir cars aud put a stop to the cou-versation: Upi>y nor berloon boys, Unpy ner berloon, 111 it’s awful jollv Ob To go saiUng ruumt the moon! At the same time a dark object loomed between them and London, which they soon perceived to be a large balloon full of professors, who wcro eating bread ana cheese and playing practical jokes in the cause of science Upon cats and rabbits. “This is most disgusting I” exclaimed the lady. “Not content with prying Into oiir domestic arrangements they are actually coming to call without any sort of introduction, singing their ribald songs at our very door,while you sit here no better than a great calf. Arc you man enough to lock the front door ?” “The key has been mislaid, dear, if you remember, since you threw it at me.” “Then run and tell them we’re not at home.” The little man obeyed with great alacrity, and found the Professors in the act of disembarking from the balloon.” “My wife says we’re not at home I” “Oil I we merely called to inquire wliat you are really made of, and what lights you use,” said a Professor, as he finished his bread and cheese, and wijied his knife on a rabbit. “Can you spare us a bit of green cheese?” asked a second, who was eating dry bread. “If the moon’s a moderator lamp, where’s your stand?” remarked a tliiitl jiciisively. “But, seriously,” pi*oceeded the firet, “is it true that you burn Co-op. candles?” “We tried them on the 6th of January.” “The night of the eclipse 1” solilo-qui/.ed tlie learned man, who was “[K)sted up” in almanacs. “And now tell me, once fur all (and remember what you say may be used against you), what can—” “Whatjcan you want here ?” burst in the lady, running out in a passion when she saw tlicin infringing her patent by bullying her husband. “Oh! If you please, ma’am,” said tho Professor, changing his tone, “we so wish to know what caudles you use ?” “Wax for a fortnight, and wane for a fortnight,” she answered, decisively, “Yes, of course,” said the Professor, knowingly, “butwhose wane?” “Charles wane!” said she, shortly. ‘•But which Charles ?”hestammered, quite bewildered. “Tho son, of course!” and she banged tho door in their faces. ‘•I always told you fellows that they got their light from the sun,” said the I’rofessor, reassured; which was quite true. There was ncthinf[ more tobe said, and the expedition went back home again, just about as wise as before. Fans are out of date, and Dr. Rnll’s Cough Syrun i« “all the go” now. Tweuty-liYC ceuts a bottle. whv do prcttr English girl», ih figure ttralglU and tnll. t «Ka iiaIv    ImyiiiI’' Prar With  __________^ Aireci the ugly "(ireclau bend (Not Grecian after all)V Why do they clioose tuch crooked way» Aud only speak in gasns, And draw the lanes of their stay» Likeill-conditioued wasps? Pray why do pretty Eiigliih girl», attack. Before it recovered from its attack the eaj^lc extended one of its taloiifl and seized the cock by tJie neck and, with a dextrous swing, laid it fluttering and quivering beneath its left foot. Tlic second cock now charged upon the huge stranger, whose Yvings were half oi»cued and lazily rising and falling. As the cock struck it was met with a blow from the eagle’s wing, and as it fell was caught in his talons and laid dving upon the ground. The victor dlA uof appear to be excited, and after thus disposing of its troublesome adversaries lazily stepped to one side and sccm(;d to relapse into reflection, every once in a while looking down in-diffcrenHy upon the dead fowls lying at his feet. Candidate McDonald. [N. Y. Tribune.] I saw our uncle Joseph McDonald in the United States Senate about a week ago. He is a big man, tolerebiy big all over, and witli a somewhat waddling walk, and he occasionally uses a stick to help himself along, though there is not much evldcuco of decay about him. He has a large bald head with an abattis of thin hair making two parallel lines over the ears; his features are pretty good, but they arc inhabited with a kind of wondering and simple good nature which substitutes for the magisterial nppeai-ance the idea of a good country landlord, sonietliing like Joe Willett at the Maypole Inn. The smile comes as naturally to that eye as the corn-dodger would corno to the mouth, for you can sec appetite lurking all round the visage, as if every sense he had was accessory to the organ of taste. Now and then tlicre is a little flash in the eye, or deeper light, as if thought was not far behind tliat rubicund exterior. Something of the old cunning of the Indian fighter, modified by a lifetime of |)cacc, pervades the face. He began life a s'addlcr, and would not sell out that reminiscence norv for |100,000, for he expects that if he can get the iioininatioii for President there will be a hundred miles of saddlers in procession from diifcrciit parts of the country, all beating on thO saddle leather. Thus tenderly do the old trades come up in the mind tf.d supplant these latter professio»|h now arc overpackcd, and men’s minds return to mechanics as the happier estate. ___ A California Duck Storjr. [Sierra Valiey (Cal.) LeaUer.J As the storm somewhat subsided last Monday, Quiii Fletcher thought he would go out and sec if he could kill a few of the ducks that, immediately after a snowstorm, are found abundantly in the spring holes in different parts of the valley. Mounting his snow-snocs, ho ])rocec(led to the vicinity of the Hot Springs. As he was siiiiping along over live or six icctof snoYV, his ej-e on tho lookout for game, he heard the distinct quack of a duck nearly beneath his feet Surprised, he ran his snow-shoe ])olo into the snow and made an opening into Yvhat appeared to be a cave. Immediately a big mallard flew out, which was quickly knocked endwise with his pole. Another big duck then came out, whicli he caught in bis hands and wruhg its neck. Then another popitcd out, which met the same fate; then another until tliirty-cight ducks lay dead at the hunter’s feet. Being curious to know what sort of a place he had struck Fletcher made a large opening and found that ho was just above a large spring hole about twelve feet in diameter. The ducks during the storm had taken refuge there, it being protected by a bank on the Yvindwui-d side. The violent wind had drifted snow from the bank over the i>ooT forming at first a shelf and at last a complete roof, and the birels AN ALASKA PILGRIM. News From the Neighborhood of the Polo. were securely imprisoned. If Mr. Fletcher had not discovered their rc- havc sun reus con- treat, they would probabi] starved to death before the leased them from their curii fiuemeut. Bcrofkila. A medicine that destroys the Scrofula and has the jmwer to root by the afflicted. The l»le cures of men, women and e described by testimonials, prov (Cerins of it out is marka-Idren as JIcmkI’s Sarsaparilla a reliable medicine, containing remedial agents which eradicate nerofula from the blriod. dealers. 100 doses, $1. C. 1. Hood A Co., ix) So)d by all jowel^ Mass. The Kajrlo and the Game Fowls. [San Fr!>nci8coCHll.] An American eagle, trapped on one of the islands opjiosite Santa Barbara, was sold to a game-cock fancier, who put it in liis chicken park. Suddenly one of the fowls flow at the eagle and struck it upon tho wings. The eagle merely looked at the little chanticleer with a curious, inquisitive glance. Then another game fowl struck him in the breast, while the first liit him on tlie neck. Tlic eagle now opened his wings with a leisurely swing and erected his chest feathers, aud his eyes seemed to blaze. Again one of the fowls rushed recklessly at the eagle, grasping a bunch of feathers in his Kcfi>rmliig Away the Wool Industry. I Denver Tribuno.] In round number» the reduction in the present revenue from the wool 'tariff, if the Morrison Bill goes throuKh, will be about five million dollar». Tin» 1» below the present tariff, which wool growers find so ina<lequatc. The further rediiotiuii [iro-IM)sed w ill virtually put an end to wool grow ing in the country. It will take away the little profit there is in the bu«ine»s. fMontroal Star.) Mr. Francois Moreier has lately returned to Montreal from the most northern district of Alaska, near Btihriug Straits. He has there been cnqdoyed in tlie fur trade on tho Youkon River for the last sixteen years, and was tlic first American or Canadiau to arrive there after the sale of Alaska by Bussia to the United States. Mr. Mercicr speaks tho Es-quiinaux language fluently, as also several other Indian dialects used Ire the native.e of tho arctic regions, and relates several interesting items as to the country in general. An idea of the cold experienced there may be formed from the following thermometrical observations: On tho 1st of December, 1882, the minimum during the day was 50 deg. below (Fahrenlicit) and the maximum 20 dcg. below zero. Taking the whole month together, the minimum was 63 dcg. beloYV zero and the maximum 55 dcg. The winter lasts about eight months, Yvhilc the foiirsuniiner mouths are magnificent weather, the only drawback iKiing the plagnc of mos(iuitocs tliat literally blacken tho air during the long unbroken day lasting iiraiiy inont 18. Ducks, geese, swans, etc., begin to arrive about the end of April and lay thousands of eggs on the banks and islands in the rivers. These are much sought after by the natives and are excellent eating; in fact, Mr. Mercicr says there is no lack of food of all sorts. For sports there are reindeer, moose, black and brown bear in the interior, and white bear on tlic coast, with salmon in lite larger rivers and trout in the streams. The Esquimaux dogs, which arc the draught auirnals of the conntrj% are mostly fed on these fish wJicn dried. Mr. Mercicr has not a very higli opinion of the noble red man of fhe North, but considers thorn a lazy, idle lot, most inveterate beggars and full of superstition. As to his opinion of an cxjMHlitioii evijr rcacldng the North Foie, ho ne^r can bo done, wituout buildmg small stations cn route, after quitting the ship for the ice; providing tliesc stations Yvith food and all necessaries and leaving them in charge of small parties; by this menus only M’ill the exixidltion be enabled to advance and retire when nccessai’y, taking advantage of some wiiibjr milder than usual, and thus push on for the pole. No vessel can ])rocccd much further than 79’' latitude, ami this leaves ll-* to be got over of frozen snow and ice. Diatance Ijenda Encliaiitincnt. Maud had a fine figure, good face and iiretty name. One should see her at a distance. When the began to talk, you realized that she never used Sozodont. lier lifeath was unlike the breeze» of Aruby the bleat. _________ Tho governing committee of the New York Stuck Exchange on Thursday listed $2,r)00,000 second mortgage bond» of the Chicago A Atlantic Uailrond Company, and an additional amount of Pullman Pál-ace Car stock, making tho total outstaud iiig $15,927,200. Sninaritaa Nervine, the great nerve con-(pieror, is iuvaluable iu uervous pros-tratiou. Extent <if the Oceans. [Pail Mall Gazette.] From an interesting work by Dr. Otto Krummel, of Gottingen, wo learn the extent of the diflcrent seas on our globe. Accoitllng to his calculations the Atlantic Ocean has a sniicrflcies of 49,439,468 square miles; IndiauOcoaii, 45,462,040 square miles; Pacific Ocean, 90,897,917 square miles. Thus the total suiKjrficies of the three largest oceans is 194,787,425 square miles. The Arctic Ocean lias a sujicr-licies of 9,471,294 square miles. In the Arctic Ocean Hudson Bay has a superficies of 663,249 square miles, and tho White 8ea, 7,715 square miles; the Australian Bea, 5,112,-491 square miics; Mediterranean, 1,789,029 square ndles; Baltic, 257,589 square miles; Red Sea, 273,944 square miles; Persian Gulf, 146,837 square miles. Then come the seas that Dr. Kriiinmel calls coa.sf seas, namely: North Sea, 339,526 square milee; Sea of Great Britain, 126,21K) square miles; Sea of St. Laurent, 170,109 square miles; China Sea, 761,632 8<iuaro miles: Japan Sea,647,-170square miles; Sea of Okhotsk, 934,717 square miles; Behring 8eu, 1,440,338 square miles; S<‘a of California, 103,676 square miics. The total suiMifficies of these coastal seas is 4,.523,460 square miles. A<l<ling the Autartic Ocean, the sui'icrficles ol which are calculated at 12,6i>6,236 square miles, the total sui>erficics of all the seas is 231,915,905 S4|iiare miles, while the total sn[)erfkics of tho continents and islands of the globe is only 34,35^4,950 square miles. Material Prn^reH» in Wyuiii|n£. [lUll Nyo.J Weeks and months before election in Wyoming tho party with the longest purse subsidizes tho most livery stables and carriages. Then on tlie eventful day every conveyance available is decorated with a [Kiliticul placard and driven by a polite young man, who is instructed to improve the time. Thus every woman in Wyoming has a chance to ride once a year at least. Lately, hoYvever, many 'prefer to walk to tho polls, and they go In pairs, trios and quartets, voting their littio sentiments and calmly returning to their cookies and crazy ([uilts as thouijh politics didn’t jar their mental poise a luinulc. It is possible, and even probable, that a man and his Yvifc may disagree on politics as they might on religion, ilic husband may believe in Andrew •lackhon and a relentless bell, Yvhilc his Yvife may be a Stalwart aud rather 18T2...... ......$8,053.595 187»........... ,$1975,5121ST3...... ...... 2,870.IW0 187».......... . 3,842,0071R74...... ...... S.Í74.71W 18NÜ........... «,«!I8,4881S76...... ......3,3ini,5'.i3 1881........... . g,!»2,51l187»...... ......2.4»<I.3I4 1882........... . 8,444,5251877...... ..... 2,114.70* C'ul’r j r. '82.. . 8,154,308No doiilh a considerable quantity of precious stones arc smuggled, but estimating the diamonds at nine-tenths of the actual imimrtations, the total American trade for the fiscal year 1882 Yvould be about |7,50l),0ü0. The South African diamond fields, Yvhich began to ho systematically Yvorked aooiit 1869, now furnish about five-sixths of the total supply. The prtxluctlon thcro for the year ending August 31, 1883, was as follows: Kimberley Mine, 1,071,7fK) and onc-eigth carats valued at $5,49<i,940; l>c Beers. 407,539 carats valued at $2,-009,120; Dutoitspan, 473,499 carat> valued at 272,655; Biilttontein,466,-967 carats valued at $‘2,472,065. The total production iu “bort” or rougli state was 2,399,751 carats valued at $13,250,780. Tliis production is said to be considcrubly less than that ol previous years. Many of tliesc stone.-are only lit for mechanical purposes, however. The India mines were for many hundred years the sourec of supply, but they have bc*eii for a long tinu-practically exhausted, and, before the discovcry of the South African mines, Brazil Yvas the great producing country, and furnishes at present a large amount. The largo ammlnt of diamonds thrown on the market by the opening of the Soutli African mines caused a declino of fully 50 percent from the prices Yvhich ruled previous to their discovery. Ladit's In America long before thev reach middle age freqiiciil* I) find theni»elve» suffering from some ol tho comidaints and aeaknesses (leculiar to tlieir»ex. For all buc.*i K id no v-Wort I» a great Isxin. It indueen a healthy atrtion of the kidney», liver and liowelK, cleanses the Hvstem, and strengthens and gives new life '!) all the imiHirtunt organs of the Itoily. it Ih nature’s ^weat assistant *111 c8tubli.slilng ami sustaining health. Sold by all druggists. A young minister being invited to )ireuch as a candidate at a certain ('hurcli in (>)iiueclicut, consented on condition that he should supply two .Sabbaths. During tlio intervening week he wrote a sennon on the text, “Art llimi ho that .should eouie, or do we look for another?” Tliey concluded tolwk for another.—-[Ex. k torpid liver, a stomach out of order, digestive apparatus weak, and the brain, 111 consetiueiiee of tlicse exertions, over M'lisitive to exertion or to any unusual eir-euniblHiice, and the fornuila for a “crank” IS complete. Ayer’s I’ill» will rouse up tlie liver, regulate the functions of the stomacli and bowels, llie tiis*d brain will Iki relicveu and the head leaiini© its wonted level. At rctorsburg, Va., on Thursday, iu the caso of Tiie Commonwealth vs. The Agent of the Dismal Swamp Canal Lottery Company, the jury returned a verdict of guilty, fixing the defeiulnnt’s punishment at five minutes in jail aud a tlao of $5. The defendant upiKjaled. Mr. I. Carpenter, m Fourth avenue. New York, after running a gauntlet ol eight years’ rcumatism, used St. Jacobs Oil, the great pain reliever, by which he was entirely cured aud had no return of ^is cumplaiut. lil>eral on the question of eternal punishment. If the hushamt manages his wife as he would a clotlies-wring-cr, and tiu iis her through life by a crank, ho will no douht work her ])o-iiticaliy, but if she ha.s Jier own ideas alioiit things she will naturally act on them, while the man who is lieii-pccked in other matters till he can’t see out of hi.s eyes will be hcn))ccked, no doubt, iu the matter of national and local politics. Tlicso arc a few facts about the actual workings of female suflrage, aiitl I do not tackle the great question of tho ultimate results ui>ou tho political machinery if woman suflrage were to become general. I do not liretend to say, as to tiiat I knew a great deal, but I dq not know that. There arc millions of women, no doubt, who are better qualified lo vote and yet can not than iiiillioii.s of alleged men who do vote; but no one can tell now what the nllimate cifect of a cJiange might be. So far as Wv-omiiig is concernoil, tho 'rcrritory is pros|ierou8 and happy. I see also, that a murderer was hanged by process of law there tho other day. That looks like the on wal'd march of reform whether female suflrage hud anything to do with it or not. And they’re going to Jiaiig another in March if the weather is favorable and executive clemency remains doriiiunt, as I tliink it will. All these things look hopeful. We can’t tell what the Territory would have been without female suffrage, but when they lM^giu to hang men by lavv instead of by mooiiHglit, the future begins to brighten up. When you have to get u[i in the iiiglit to liang a mail every little while and don’t get any ¡icr diem for it, you feel as though you were a good way from lioine. The Diaiitoiid Market. [Boatun Coimnereiai Advcrtlecr.J The European diamond iiiurkot is reported a little stronger and higher now, bccan.se of the small South African production a id the caving In of the Kimberly mine there. No ad-v.'incc here is looked for unless the demand improves. An a])proximatc estimate ot the diamond business of the country can be made from the iinportalionsof preidou.s stones which were for tho ton fiscal yeai'S ouding 1883i| «S fbBows: Orthography an«f Orthoepy. The biilly « not higenon-rti Who tried the editor to blougii. The caivtiil housewile iwilcl a.d.ia'rh. And servcu the u sli at twelve o’cloiiBh. Tlie woman liad a dre.vlful eongh. Which causcil her tuiblen taking on.zh. The inmier fownd it wa* the chough That ate his corn am’, gnnien stough. The nest was in tlie pine tree’s boiirh. Upon the inuuutain’s rugged brougn. Tlic man was far from perfect, thongh His lieui I u(t bled for otiicrs’ wough. After the »er]ient siicd his siongh Ills color was a handsome bough. Fast to his brand-new patent plough I'hc fanner bitcbeil hit lirtndle cough. The bftker kneaded all his dongh. And at the work lie was nut stoogfa. Into the deep tennclons sloueh The cattle strayed, thougli none knew hough. With the assistance ot the colonel. Wc’tc made thcMi rhvinos for this week’» Jolunel.—[boniervlllc Joiirnui. CVRKENT FUN. yet Impoverished jm-sons desiring fo commit .suicido can now rejoice. Cucumbers arc quoted at only 50ccuU aiiiecc.—[Life. Toilet mirrors are now made In th« shaiic of a harp. Very appropriate for good looking lasses who “put ou airs.”—[Norristown Herald. Shoes wear out pretty fa.st,yet, after all, “there i.s iiothiiig like leather.” Just .sec how the old Icathcr-covcrcd Bihlcs la.st.—[Philadelphia Call. lie had been ridiculing her big feet, and to get even with liim she replied that he iiiigiit have her old sealskin .sawiuc iiiaiio over into a jiair of ear mil ffs.—[Life. A ready-made rejoinder. He—‘‘Yon made a fooi of me when I iiiarrieti you, ma’am.” She—“Lori You always told 1118 voii were a self-made man!”—[London Punch. Things one would rather have left unsaid. Dearc.st friend (iuliniriiig the new i^iortralt)—‘‘How sweet! How dianiiiiigl How pretty! And so like!”—[Ixmdon Punch. iay that tiro OMo River is so low it can not leave Its l)cd. This remark has been made of tlic Mississippi River, yvc believe, but never of the Ohio River.—[Philadelphia Call. Russian soldiers are now supplied Yvith Docket haudkerchiefs, and as soon as they can Ixi taught to wi}>e their noses on the cloths instead of the back ot tUo baud the war will bo resumed.—Detroit Free Press. An exchange says that a blast in a limestono quarry near Bodie, Cal., uncovered five i>etritiod gull’s eggs. Scientists are now Yvrestliiig Yvitli the question: “Cana (ictrified gull lay till egg?”—ÍBismarck Tribune. The venerable p<xit, J. G. iV’'hittier, has written a new iioein c.allcl “Banished.” If the i>oct wen; married we should supposte he referred to the near approach of the lioii-ie-clcauing season.—[Burlington Free Pics.s, Is there never to be a rest from having to watch your umbrella to sec that it isn’t stolen? This long siicll of weather has been a fearful strain on a mail’s mind, keeping liiiii ou the ilertfor so long.—[Hartford Post. The “SYVcct Singer of Michigan” has made ‘‘Oscar Wilde’’ rliymo with ••foster child.” This is little more rcditablc than her attempt to rhyme •‘consanguinity” with “laws a’ iiias-jy,” but not much.—[Bismarck rribmic. A young Yvriter asks us if yvc knoYV ••any way by Yvhich tho imagination can b<i goaiWl into a traiiee-Iike presentation of strange plots and conceptions.” Young man, haY‘c you ever tried delirium tremens?—[Burlington Free Press. A tOYVu ill Georgia is called “Jug Tavoni.” Sonic ])eople have so iiiuoh l>oetry in their natures that it CY'en i-rops out ill naming a tmvll. It may iH) a Yvatcriiig—or i*ather a whisky .tiid Yvatoriiig station on some railroad.—[Nor. Herald, If a razor, after being exposed to the cold, be placed under a strong iiiagnifyiug glass, it is said that tho edge Yvoulu swm like a suyv. From having such razors applfed to our face YVC arc led to flnnly Iwlieve that such is the case.—[Boston Post. A lady Yvhose conscience Yvas softened by a recent revival, calleil ou a clergyman, in a romorseftil spirit, to tell him she had s|»oken disparagingly of his sermons. “That’s nothing, my child,” Yvas the ivi>ly, “I don’t think much of tliem myself."—[Boston lliidgct. Tliere is no Yvay of accounting for the manner ill Yvhich the tongue will (wist itself at times and distort tho English language. Everybotly who has experienced tlio mortification caused by ibis ]>ervetse and “unruly member” Yvill apjireciute the folloYV-iiig:    A young lady entering a croYvdcd church Yvas a little uncertain as to the exact locality of tho pcYV iu which friends had kindly offered her a sitting. Toiiching an el-ilerly geutleinau on tho shouUler, sho sYveeily inquires, “Can you tell ino occupews this pie?”-[Haiiior’s Uu-zar. Motlicr Swau’» Wonu Sirup, luíleles». »ve; 20o.

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