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Ohio Cincinnati Weekly Times Newspaper Archives Jun 26 1884, Page 1

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Cincinnati Weekly Times (Newspaper) - June 26, 1884, Cincinnati, Ohio VoIaXLI. Xo. SG.CIIVCITVTVXTI, THtJMSI>A.Y, JUXIO 20, 1884^. $1 I*er Year. The Ilins. A l)nml of IjnriilsbPil polU, Wy linpoi^i ponlly liohl. Ami throiipb tim ninpic circle of its rim, Kcforc my ilrcaminp eye-*. A tlKiii.suud menidi ics riKe, Ami fill uiy soul with lonpiug, vague and dim. I seem to sec the pntc. At which 1 uscil lo wait For her who pave to me this token sweet, I feel atcixim' thrill. That calls to mind the hill Where hours, liku moiiicuts, fled on pinions fleet. The form of youthful grace, The smilimr, tender face. Is near me still, in anlrit, though the jcara Have slowly come and fled. And cherished hoiio.s li<' dead. Along n.y way too thickly strewn for teon. Oh! little band of gold! A wealtli of joy untold, Í Yoitr shinimr circle conjures to my mind, ' Aud will—until my breath Shall meet the kiss of death, Aud all the pain of earth be left liehind. —[Jiiniea C. Harvey. NOTES AND NEWS. Jeunnc Bornbardt, Surah’s sister, has been actinu in lliissiu with much success. An aeronautic detachment of engineers has l>oen torincd in Berlin, and is hard at work learniii!,' the art and practice of military ballooning. The Ufcv. >1. F. Tracy, of Shellsburg, la., says he lias discovered jierpetual motion, and has found out that Sir Isaac Newton WHS crazy when he tried to prove Iho law of gruvitalivin. 3Ir. Hammond, the owner of St. Gatien, began life as a stable boy in Newmarket. Ditring the last few years he Is said to have wen $400.(Ks) i n tlie 'aeo course. By St. Gatien this year he wms i|iló0,000. Senator Jones, of Florida, Is credited with having the best meinniy of any member of the Senate. He seldom speaks from notes, hut is always proeise as to his facts. '1 ho Senuior is just past titiy and is over six feet tall. Mr. Fronde has almost completed his biograpliy of Thomas Carlyle. The work. Which will he the chief attraction of the publishing season ihis year, will consist of two volumes ol 400 pages each, aud will be published in the autumn. The Mayor of Oakland, Cal., has ordered the revival of the old custom of ringing the curfew bell every evening at 9 o’clock, with responses from the b?lls on the engine houses, and the iKillce an? to arrest all imys under i#lt“en in the streets alter that hotir. The heirlooms of Blenheim, which the Duke of Marlborough is trviiig to sell, include one of the very few services of solid gold plate existing in England. TheOueen anu the Dukes of Bueeleucli and Wellington arc understood to be almost the only other persons possessing them. Young Victor is now absolutely independent of the old man, I’lon-Plon. The ex-Emprcss Eugenie 1ms settled $1,200 a rear upon him; bis Aunt .Matbildc promises the same annuity, and lurtber engages to lit up Victor’s bachelor apartments in Paris in splendid style. There are in Great Britain three State papers, the London, Edinburgh and Dublin Gazette. The first makes a large Income by reason of the various notices which the law re<|uires to be insertt‘d in it. Besides these jtapers there Is the olBcial police, “Hue aud Cry” for each country. Under the will of the late Empress Dowager of Austria the ex-King and Queen of Naples will receive a fortune of over ffi.CiCO.OOO. The ex-King and Queen will find this mnnev of considerable benefit to them, as they have been out of Binds, as well as out of business, for some years. Tiiseon is the pride of all Arizonians. They even claim it to Ixt the oldest city in America, and declare that its origin antedates that of Bante Fe. Before the advent of Amei icans it was a Mexican Hamlet, and still earlier it was an Indian village. No trucos of its first ucciipants are to be seen to-day, but the adoiic houses and narrow, wniding streets are Mexican. Wagers seem to be the fashion everywhere just now, and M. Peru, a Parisian pianist, has struck out something new. He has umiertnUen to play the piano in the lions’ cage in ^ezon’s Menagerie, and he 1^6 his bet if his playing betrays any tokens of agitation or loss of his customary sangfroid. He ser-ms to leave out of ac-emint the |H>esibility of the lions iinprovis-Ing a finale of their own to one of his pieces. While M. J’eru discusses Chopin and Beetlioven, iVz m will put the lions througli their exercises. The Mun-FrofC and Man-Ooo«e. [Ch.vnibcro’ Joiiriiul.] The mau-frog was first exhibited in I860, at a Kroiich country fete. He had a stout ill-shapen Ixxly, coveretl with a skin like a leal her bottle, and a face exactly like a frog’s, large eyes, an enormous mouth, and the skin cold and clamny. He at-traelcd a good deal of attention from the Academy of .Medicine, and a delegate wag deputed to make him an object of study. He went all over France; and, at the end or a few years retired to his native place. Puvre, in Gers. Tno man with the goose’s head was first shown at the Qingerbreail Fair in 1872. He was twenty years of age, had round eyes, a long and flat nose the shape and size of a goose’s hill, an immensely lonj^ neck, and was without a single hair on his head. He only wanted feathers lo make him complete. Theerteetol bis interminably lonsr neck twisting about was extremely ludicrous, aud was so much appreciated that bis receipts were very large. He now {lasses under his proper name of Jean bindlcr, and is establishetl at Dijon as a photographer. He is married; and, thanks to enormously high collars aud a wig, is now tolerably presentable. The warmer weather often basa depress-ing and debilitating efl'eci. Hood’s Sarsaparilla overcomes all languur and lussi tudc. It is proposed to start an American medical college in Japan. *‘Rou|h on Coughs,’’ Troches, l&c; Liquid Uc.MU. BULSTEAD’8 SURPRISE. Mr. Bulstead’s third and last letter bore the Oxfoi*d postmark; as he opened it he frowned, llis niece, who had long ago noted tliat particular letter with apprehension, helped him in haste to the hottest and choicest kidney on the dish. Maggie knew well tha>t of late the contents of letters from Oxfoiul were far from welcome. “Now, I will not stand this any longer!’’cried the irritable old gentleman. (lashing his list upon the table and narrowly mi.ssing the just arrived antf juicy klndncy. “Now, Master Tom has tried iny patience once too often ! Bill after bill have I settled during tlie last three months, expecting each to be the last; and. forsooth, listen to this, miss! To .500 latvn-tennis halls, £12 10s: to rackets, as per former aeconnt, £8 10s; to marking machines, £4; to—good ffracions! —to half a ton of whiting, £4; total, £29! Good gracious! I say, docs the young scapegrace live upon whiting ?” “Oh, it must be a mistake, uncle!” “Mistake, indeed! Wliy, did not I have a bill of £2 10s. for dog collars? Was that a mistake too? And the wine bill, and Symonds’ bill for horsc-liire! All mistakes,of course! You may thank your stars, young lady,” cried the old gentleman, abandoning the indignantly satirical for the savagely ixM-sonal tone, “that 1 would not let you tic yourself lo this extravagant ncjdiew of mine. Now I’ve done with him, and sohaA’eyou.” Maggie rose from the table Avith a fliislicd face, and looked from the AvindoAV Avith eyes that saAV little of the square outside through their tears. But, like a wise girl, she kept silence, and the kind-hearted old gentleman after storming once or tAvice nj) and doAvn the room, began to east uneasy glances at the graceful figure by the windoAV. If there Avasone j)cr-son Avhom Mr. Biilstoad loved before and above the cause of his present anger it A\as his niece, Maggie Lloyd. “Well, well,” said he, sitting down to his noAv cold kidney. “There, my dear, giv’c me another cup of tea. Half a ton of Avhiting—tlie lad must have gone mad!” “It might haA'e gone in Avorse things than whiting,” she siiggesteti hinnbly, but with a humorous quiver at the corner of a pretty mouth. “So it might; that’s true.” The old gentleman Avas a little more stralght-laccd than most lAtndoners. “I’ll tell yon Avhat, Maggie, I’ll give Tom one more chance. I’ll go doAvn to Oxford by the II o’clock train, giving him no notice, and sec for myself Avhat sort of life he is living. If he is doing nothing AVorse than Avastc money I’ll forgive him ; but if f find the young fellow is as vicious as some of those Oxford sparks, Avhy then”—and Mr. Bulstcad’s voice assumed a quite unaccustomed tone of cool determination—“I’ve done Avitli nephew Tom.” Maggie trifled Avith the teaspoon, her eyes bent ujton her plate. Her uncle’s irritability was little to be feared; it was more than Qfufralized by his kindness of heart. But she knew him to be on rare occasions, and in some matters, a man of gi*eat obstinacy; and, loving Iter cousin with all her heart, she dreaded tlie result ofher uncle’s projected trip. Tom Avould be doing nothing dreadful, but lie might be doing something Mr. Btilstead rniglit object to. To move her uncle from his resolve, once expressed in this Avaj% she kticAV to be bcj’oiid even her iniliience; the more as the old gentleman, who had a few months before forbidden any express engagement between the cousins, was a little inclined to resent any influence she might tiy to exert in Tom’s behalf. “I shall not want any more tea, thank yon, so yon may go to your music lesson if you like. I shall just go,to the Athenanim for an hour, and then to Pathlington. I’ll leave orders about the carriage, and if y'ou like you can meet the 6 o’clock train with it.” AVlien Mr. Bulslcad reached his club ho found, to his disgust, that his favorite chair was occupied by a bishon. Had it been any one else, he woula not have sci tipled at attempting to oust him by one of those forms of strategy so well known in club rooms; but as it was lie ran his eye over the Times “all standing,” and look his scat in a cab not in the best of tempers. “Haifa ton of whiting!” he muttered to himself, in tones of fretful 8i>eculatioii, as ho passed through Park lane. He felt a little like a spy as he hurried across Canterbury Quad, and made with all speed for the bottom of Tom’s ctaircasc. The scout, old “Dot and go one,” as he was called from his wooden leg, in vain essayed to detain him. Up went Mr. Bulstead two steps at a time to the second floor, where, above the left-hand door, appeared. in white letters upon a black grouna, his own name, lie knocked sharply, and, hardly waiting for some one within to utter w'hat might or might not be ‘Come in,’ thi-ew it open aiul entered. Lounjfing upon one of the window scats, in flannels aud a cigarette in hia mouth, was a young fellow whoso good looking face was rather manly and straightforward than handsome. He was alone and srot up without much appearance of flurry. “How do yon do, uncle? I thought it was you crossiug the quad. Take a seat. Why did you not let me know that you were coining?” Mr. Bulstead took the proffered seat and panted as he looked round. The stairs were steep and his wind was not so good as it had been. “I thought I would come upon you a bit by surprise, Tom,” he said, without any circiiniiocution. The fact is, it is tliat Aviiitiiig that has brought me.” “Whiting, uncle!” ejaculated Tom, with his first show of surprise. “Half a ton of whiting!” mur-ninretl his uncle, irresistibly impelled lo dwell u|>on the mystery. “Half a ton of whiting! Ay, here it is.” And he flourished the bill under the other’s nose. Tom took it gingerly, and opened it with a serious face. It seemed to Mr. Bulstead that he was not quite so niucli at his case as he would have his uncle believe, and the old gentleman glanced suspiciously round the room. It certainly was not the room of a hard working, hard reading student; but still there was nothing objectionable in it. He turned his glance again upon Tom. The latter was contemplating the bill with a broad smile, genuine enough. “Well,” said Mr. Bulstead, “what have yon to say about it? Half a ton of Avliitiiig, you know, Tom ?” The younjf man laughed loudlj'. “I am not in fault this time, sir; it is the Lawn Tennis Club’s account sent in to me as secretary. I gave the ground man tlie check to pay it last AA eck and why they should have had the impudence to seud • it in to you I can’t imagine.”    , “Umph, butlioAv about the whiting, Tom! What is that for ?”^ “Markingout the grounds, sir.” “Of course it is, Tom! Very stuuid of me. Well, I’m very glad of it, my hoy, ’ said Mr, Bulstead pleasantly. The mystery of the whiting was cleared up; but somehow it had made him suspicions. “Now,” said Tom, “will yon come with me to a snop I want to call at in the High-not a hundrca yai-dg off, sir?and by the time we come back lunch will be ready.” Was the dust of that whiting still in Mr. Bnlstead’s eyes ? At any rate, it seemed to him that his nephew was peculiarly and resMqssly anxious to get him out of the rooms. lIowcA’cr, lie rose. “Yes, Tom, certainly. Where did I put my umbrella? Ah, here it is, thank yon. Why—what the—deuce —is—that!” If it had been another half ton of whiting piled u|)on the sofa, the old gentleman’s face could not have grown darker. The thing lying half hidden by the sofa cushion was a lady's parasol—a dainty, tiny, wicked iooking sun shade of gray silk; and by it was a glove of too, too apparent French kid. Mr. Bulstead’s worst fears were confirnied with a vengeance; all along he had felt that títere was something wrong; this was the haunt of wicked dissipation he liad half feared he should find it. Half a ton of whiting, indeed! In a moment, and before he had glanced at the young fellow’s confused face, he thought the worst of him. “Well, sir,” he said—and there was real sorrow as well as anger in his tone—“can you explain this with equal ease ?” “No, I can not, sir; hut—” “You can’t? Can not say whose they are, or how they come to be in your rooms? Fie,Jtir, tie! Or where their owner is now, I snpiK)8c?”hc added, suddenly recalling the scout’s seeming attempt to delay him at the foot of the stairs, and marking the doors that led to two inner rooms. “I can not account for them.” “And will not, I snpiiose ?” “You can put it that way if yon like, sir. All 1 can say is that I am innocent of what you arc thinking of me. I give yon my word of honor I am; and I can’t say any more.” The old man was a little impressed by the younger’s earnestness. The ibnoxious articles might have been left there innocently, of course. ‘Then let me have a look into your other rooms, young man, if you wish me to believe you.” “No, I can’t do that!” cried Tom, springing, as the other advanced, toward the nearer door and setting llis back against it. Ho was cooler now, and not a bit confused. The old gentleman, even in his anger, noticed that he looked more haiidsomc than ever before. “Don’t he a fool, Tom!” he cried imperatively. Then suddenly changing his tone to an apjs'aliiig one: “Make a clean breast of it anil I'll try to forgive you.” “There’s nothing to forgive.” “Then oi>en that door. You won’t ?” “No.” “As I live, if you don’t before 1 count three, I’ll cut you oft'without a shilling. Now, sir, one, two—it’s your last chance—three! There, sir, I’ve done with you now, sir—I’ve done with you—I’ve done with you I” And, clapping on his hat, with furious haste and yet shaking steps, the old gentleman ran down the stairs, and, his heart full of sorrow and anger, made for the station. Ah, Tom, Tom! A minute later he opened the inner door and looked rather anxiously at the half-frightened, wholly pretty face that appeared at it “Did you hear anything?” he asked. “No, but do let me get away. I am so nervous, lie was very angry, wasn’t he? Yes. What was it about, Tom? Bills?” “Yes,” was the somewhat halting reply; ‘‘bills and other things. 1 daresay he’ll cool down. If you hear anything against me, you won’t believe it, Avill you ?” “0 Tom, hoAv can you ask ?” “Then there is no harm done,” answered Tom, bravely and gallantly. And after recoiinoitering from the Avindow the two left the rooms. To return to Mr. Bulstead, Senior. It Avas a great trouble to him. Ijook-iiig back upon that half ton of whiting, he wondered how that could have made him angry Avitli the lad. If he would only have kept to that, he could hiiA’e forgiven him a ship load of whiting. Bui tins was a different matter, and the more the old gentleman thought of it the Avorsc it ap-fieared to him. S'ill he Avas a just and fair man ; he had no real intention of cutting oft the young profligate, as he terlncd him in his thoughts, with a shilling. He Avoiild make liim some sufficient but small alloAvance, but near his house or near Maggie he Avould not have him. He made this last determination known to Maggie, merely adding that her cousin had behaved so ill that he had forbidden him the house. The announcement Avas received with a woman’s strongest remonstrances— silent tears. Altogether things were rather gloomy that June in Fitzroy Square. One morning Mr. Bulstead made up llis iiiiiid to sec llis lawyer about Tom. “I’ll get it over,’’ he said to liimseli with a sigli, as he souglit for llis umbrella in llie stand. It took liiiii some time to tliid it. "Bless the umbrella!’’ he cried at Iciigtli, fumbling among the heap. "Is that it? No! Nor this. Why, what’s this? Well, I am dashed!” Only the word which he \ised was a stronger one, and one which seldom, even in moments of irritability, escaped him. Blit now, at the sight of a sunshade in the umbrella stand, be solemnly rencated it twice: ‘‘Well, I am dashed! Then he stood in the hall for some minutos, whistling softly to liiniself. This done, be went rather slowly and tiioiiglitfully up to the draAviug-room, and stood on the licarth-rug. "Were you at Oxford when I was there on the 28th of last month ?” ‘ "Yes,” answered Maggie, horribly frightened, and yet rclievetl at getUiig the matter off her mind. She had not ooufueood simply because (die was afraid of increasing her uncle s anger against Tom. “Yes, I was, uncle. You said yon were going to put Tom to the test, and I was afraid he might be doing something to displease you. I went to warn him.'” “And you were in his rooms while I was there "Yes. It was foolish of me; you followed me so closely and I was afraid to face yon. Tom put me in the Scout’s Hole, as he called it.” “So you tlt'ceived me between you ?” said he harshly. “No,sir; I did. Tom knew nothing of my coining. He was afraid lor me, not for himself.” “Did lie tell you what I was angry about ?” "After yon were gone ?” ‘‘Of course!” snapped Mr. Bulstead, pokinf tlie fire vigorously. "I think,” said Maggie timidly, for now it was Tom’s lavor was at stake, "he said it was about bills. He had notiiing to do with my journey to Oxford.” ‘And a nice, ladylike thing you consider it, I suppose, gadding about to young mon’s rooms. Very well. Since you seem iiioMncd to mix yourself up with his affairs, you will write to him at once and tell him to come upto town to-niorroAV and call here. When you are both together I’ll tell you Avhat I think of it. A pretty pair of fools!” And Mr. Bulstead fumed his way out of the room with much outward heat and an angry expression of conn-tcnaiice. But the butler, who watched his exit with awo, and o|iiiicd tliat there had been stormy weather upstairs, was amazed to hear him mutter with an audible chuckle as he reached the darkest angle of the staircase, "Good lad! Good latl!” Tom, of course, came un as fast as the Great Wc-itcrn would bring him; and when they were both together .Mr. Bulstead told tjie culprits what ho thought of it. No happier trio sat down to dinner that day in T.ondoii than the party presided over by our friend’s butler, boniowhere in tlie old gentleman’s nature was a large lump of the chivalrous, and, for the sake of Toni’s gallantry, Maggie’s deception was forgiven. In no long time he did visit his lawyer, but it was upon business more pleasant both to himself and to that professional gentleman. “ For a really paying [liecc of work.” the latter has often been heard to say in confidence, “give me a marriage settlement.” Night. White Stan come out in darkenini blue o( nkiee. White foam upon the bine of darkeninz seas And the surra murmur moans aluiig the breeze Filled with faint echoea at of far-off cries ReiH*atin|( “A'anltjr of Vanities, All, allls Ttnityand hearing these Night stands uiKin the threshold of the lens, Blue-clad, with fair, slow hauUs and slumbroii* eyes. And the wind blows to her across the deep The voice of the dead Day: *•<) fairest one, Nought good was there In me from star to star. And hast thou any between aun and sun?” Ho come* the cry; and from her height afar .Might whisjien back: “Tííere ia no good but sleep.” ‘OLD HICKORY." “Rough on Corn*,” lor Corn^ Bunions. Wc. Manners and Characteristics of Gen. Jackson. IT. AV. Iliggiiison. m Harper’s for July.] For the social life of Washington the President had one advantage which was altogether unexpected, and seemed difficult of explanation by anything in his earlier career. He had at his command the most courteous and agreeable manners. Ev’cn before the election of Adams Daniel Webster had written to his brother: “(ieneral Jackson’s manners arc better than those of any of the candidates. He is grave, miltl, and reserved. My wife is for him decidedly.” And long after, when the President was to pass in review before those Avho were perhaps his most imnlacabie opponents, the ladies of Boston, we have the testimony of the late Josiah Quincy, in his “Figures from the Past,” that the personui bearing of tliis obnoxious official was most unwillingly upproA’cd. Mr. Quincy was detailed by Governor Lincoln, on whose inilltary staff he was, to attend President Jackson everywhere when visiting Boston in 183,3; and this narrator testifies that, w’ith every prejudice against Jackson, lie found him essentially “a knightly personage—prejudiced, narrow’, mistaken on many points, it might be, but vigorously a gciitlcinan in his high sense of honor and in the natural straight-forward courtesies which are easily distinguished from the veneer of policy.” Sitting erect on his horse, a thin stifi' tvpe of military strength, he carried with him in the streets a bearing of such dignity that staid old Bostonians who had refused even to look upon him from their windows would finally be coaxed into taking one peep, and would then hurriedly bring forward their little daughters to wav’c their handkcrehiefs. He wrought, Mr. Quincy declares, “a mysterious charm upon old and young;” showed, although in feeble health, a gr(?at consideration t’oi* otiioro, and was in private a really agreeable companion. Jt appears from these reminiscences that the J*resident was not merely the cause of wit in others but now and then appreciated it himself, and that he used to listen with delight to the rending of the “Jack Downing” letters, laughing heartily sometimes, and declaring, “The Vico President must have written tliat. Dciiend upon it, Jáck Downing is only Van Biiren in inasqiicrade.’^^ It is a curious/act that the satirist is already the better remembered of the two, altliongh Van Bnrcii avhs in liis <lay so poAverfiil as to preside over tlieofllcial patronage of the Nation, and to be calltid tlie “Little Magician.” Arizona Aiuumciiiriks. jd'hicago Hernlil.j “Oh, w’c ’ ain’t entirely Avitliout uninscinciits and sports out in Arizona,’ said a bearded passenger from the SoutliAvcst. “Of course, cliiirclics aud theaters and circuses are pretty sca’cc, and there hain’t ’iioiigh level grenud in the Territory to play a game of base ball on. But wc has onr fiin all the same. In the toAvn Avliere I live—mind you, Ave are gct-tin’ civilized out there, and have tOAViis iioAV Instead of mere camps—in riiy toAvn our best sjwrt is Avith a col* orcd man named 8am. He’s a big, strong jack, that is, he was. Poor felloAV, he tempted fate too often and got took in finally. 8am made his liviii’ fiiriiisliiiig fun for the boys. “He would draw a chalk line on the floor, get doAvn in front uf it on all-fours, and for ten cqiits let any man take a big bag of sand and crack liiin one behind. H the striker knocked Sam. over the line he got his money back. Well, this sport went along several mouths, tintil one day a Avick-cd-looking stranger come to tOAvn. He saw 8am. taking in the dimes in the hotel bar-room, Avlicre the stranger was a pretty good customer liimself alrcatly. ‘VVill ye let me have a lick at ye for a dime?’ he iii-(piired of 8am. ‘8artiiily, sail; three for a quarter. Take a quarter’s Avuth?’ The stranger said he guessed one would be enough. 8aiii. got down on all-fours. The strunger then picked up the saiidliag. Sam. lopped Ids head down, and grinned betAvecn Ids legs at the striker. “The sandbag is raised high in the air, the wicked-Tookiiigstranger looks wickeder out of Ids eyes, and Ave get on to llis poAverfnI franio and arms all of a sudden. Like a stroke o’light-idng doAVii comes the hag—i>oor Saiii.” “Did it hurt the nigger much ?” “Hurt him ? Nobody knoAvs. The fact is, Avlien he got doAVii on the floor his.head vas ixdnted towards the Avide-open door of the liarrooni, out of which wc could look down the mountain side. Sam. catapnltetl out o’ that door and hain’t Ixícn .seen since. One o’ the Iwys said he believed the coon jiad never slopiied tnl lie got hack to‘ole Alabain’ he usctcr talk so much about.” “Did you find out who the stranger was?” “Well, I siiould say we dltt. Ills name was Sullivan, a nrize-flghtcr from doAvn East wnnewhcre.” tAvo sons, (founts Herbert and William, both of Avhom arc younger than their sister, and unmarried. The former is in the dijilonialic service and has in his official capacity been attached to several embassies, and recently to that in London. Tfic latter, Avho bears a strong jier-sonal resemblance to his father, has devoted himself to the legal profession, and has been a nieniber of the German Parliuincnt. Both served at first as jirivates in the Dragoon tínanls, in the last Avar, (luring Avliiclt the Prince ^vinced much anxjcty on their hchaif, riding out after them as often as cireiim-sfanccs ])crmittcd. Botli of them work from time to time in the immediate neighburiiood uf the Prince, in Aviiose burean his »ou-in-laAv has also fonnd em|>Ioymcnt. I may mention, too, that the i’rinee is the happy pos-sos.sorof graiulchihlren, fine, sturdy li'flo fellows, the eldest of whom occasionally pays a visit at his grandfather’s paiacc Avith the cap of the YcIIoav Cuirassiers on his fair young head. Bismarck’s Children. [MoriU Buich, in Uarj>sr’i.] TJie Prince has three children—a daughter, the Countess Mary, who was born in 1848, and married about four years ago to Couut lUutzau, aud lielt-Hanilml Girls. A writer in the San Francisco NeAvs Letter explains a paradox—why the loft side is the right and the right i.s often left, so to speak: The left side of the face is the right ; statistics proA’c the paradox. Artist.s always jmt the best toiiclics, llnest shading and most delicate tints on the left side of the profile. Aetoi aclrcsses and public singers alway.s make a half turn to the right Avhcii they wish to iinprcss their audiences. Young ladies desirous of hcAviteh-ing their gentlemen friends always walk on the right hand sitie. Why? Hecause science has sIioavu that the loft side of the face is the more boaii-liful, or less ugly. The left liaml is more magnetic than the right, the left breast has a more graceful contoiir than the opiiosite, and the glance of the left eve lias a hewilchliig poAvcr of Avhich the right is hopelessly innocent. The theme Avill bear intinitc expansion, but Ave forbt'ar to pursue it. The remarkable part of tiie iioav Avcll knoAvn fact is that the discovery was made by the Chinese. In the year 9381 Ah King Fy Foy had a family of seventeen daughters. They Avere all lefl-liandcd and Avere greatly •ongllt In marriage hr incml>crs of the royal household. 8o irresistllde were the charms of these luooncycd maidens that every man avIio looked u]>oii them became enslaved. To save tlie empire trom interiiecine Avar for their jwsscssion the Einiieror made an edict that the daughters of Ah King Fv Foy should be alloAved to have thirteen Inishnnds eacli, but that in the future all Icft-liaiidcd girls should be strangled at their birth. Plumb’s PrtHlicameiir. ’|New York Mail.] Senator Plumb, of Kansas, was a type-setter early in life, although he is now Avorth half a million dollars. The night he Avas to iiomiiiutc Logan for Vice President he was refused admission at the door. He told Avho he was and argued at great length, and tinaUy passed to the stage entrance. “You can’t pass hero,” said the doorkee|>er. “But I must,” Avas the reply. “You can’t, sir.’’ “Senator Pliinih, of Kansa.-*, Avill please take the platform,” said Chairman Henderson. “Yes, sir, as soon as this man lets me jiass through the door,’’ yelled the Senator. “WlicAV!” said the dtxirkeoiier af-Ici’Avards, “I thought he Avas some deail l)cat trying to Avork his Avay in hero I” On the iilatform Senator Plniiih s[H)kc earnestly and to tlie point. He was one of the fcAV men Avhose voi<-es could he distinctly heard all over the liniiding. All liijiiiiciioii Wunicd. [Cliicazo News.) A tagged looking Word staggered into a court room and drojipcd into a chair. “Who are you, and Avliat do you want?” asked the Jinlgc. “Is this the place Aviiero they grant injmictions?” “It. is.” “Well, then, I Avant one.” “What for?” “To keep the lleptiblicaii iioets from working me to death. I hiiv»*n’t had a moiiicnt's rest since the noininutioiis were made, and this terrible strain is taking all the vitality out of me.” “Very well, yon shall liaA'o the injunction. What name, please?” ".Slogan, sir.” Onco In Four Ye«i*ii. [New Orleand I’lcaj unc*.] Within the next few months orators will *bow that the country is t'uHt going to pieces. After the election the Governnicut will hraou up again ami go on as usual. The reason for requiring lawyers In Con. necticut to stand while examining witnesses in court Is explained by the Judges who niatle the rule. It is to prevent the long, weary, useless, senseless badgering of witnesses, and expedites the business of the oourts wonderfully. Joe Jefferson, the actor, is eneaniixHl in ths woods of New Uiunswick, engaged in salmon fishing. Nighl iweat*, fever*, chill*, mnlnrla. ity*rM<p. Its, uiireU by “VVvU*’ Health Reuswsr.” |1. A CIry Lyric. I hear thy jociinil note, thy native son*; It bnxMlM lieiic.tth inj' ca-«inent in the night, And, ctKdng, w.-tkoH me In thee.-irly liglit, wliilc 1 would Htill üleep on and on imdon, And wonder if thou nevir wilt lie gone. I hear thy warbling down the ectaomc street Where others son;;g ariJC Ihy sons to greet And m Its chorus hlcnit. Down the long trail’* asli-harrel-cuinoersd \\ asle Thy plaintivv chant I hear; thou bn.st. tboa enyHt, *‘AVaf.hlub« to mend!” Oh, child of song, my heart goes out to thee! Althoiizh I would not. I mu-t hear tbeo sing Alike In winter sew and Imddinir spiing; Far iiDin thy niati.iening wail thoii/li I should fl(*e Yet, bidiiiK niy return thou slill woiild’.st be Smgiiij; the huiiic old tunc, tlio sume old wor.1.1. Like the ropeatlni; minxtrelsr of bir<U; I'ray tlico, busiiend ’en»! In effort.^ v;riii thy voice no lonitcr spen<l. If it be true you have wt«*hluh>; lo muiid. Why djn’t you »neud ’«‘in? —IltobiTt .1. llnrdcttc. CEKKKNT FUN. “Yes, indeed, she’s a dai.sr,” ro-markcd a yuiiiig brukcr, discns.siiij the eiianns of a certain young ladj'. “8hc dazes yon, ap|»arently,” replied ids friend.—[Oil City Derrick. “There, Tommy, you must not touch that otiier eak ?; lliero Avas ouo for yon aud one tor Ytrgle,” saiil Mrs. liuHiiman, severely. “Well, I m.ide a mistake and eat up Virgie’s first,” retorted Tonuny.—[Brooklyn 'J’iinos. The correspondents all agree tliat the story' tliaf the coiiveiitioii.s in Chicago wt;rc to l)C Iteld in the tiisearded shoe of a local heilu was a nialicioiis faliricatioir.'^ioiicocleii in 8f. L niisfor eaiiipaigii piirj>osc.s.—[Boston GIoIh,*. Ingt;rsoll «ays lie does not aj^ree with the doctrine of future pimi.sh-mcnt. Perliups thcdoctrincof future pniiishiiuMit Avill not agree Avitli Iii-gcrsoll. Warm weather is di-eadfully trying on a fat man ca’cm if he ha.s a good eoiiscience.—[Texa.s Siftings. A tortoise bearing tlic inscription G. W., 1774,’’ Avas found in a gq-ovo near here yo.stcrday. There is nothing bogus about it either. Wo kiioAV the young man Avhu eijt the initials and date on the tortoise only tAvo days before it Avas found.—(Novr. ilorald. First Cabman—“Wliat did you charge that stranger for driving him a.’oiiiid tlic corner to the hotel ?’’ .Sec-omi    Cabman—“I    ch.irgc<l $4 97.” “)H 97? That is a queer figure. IVhyr didn’t you make it an even |.5?” Because fi 07 avus all he hud.”—[Philadelphia Call. A machine that av ill darn stockings has been iiiA'cnted. Tliis will give mothers more time to devote to crazy-quilts, reqKnise Avork and other useful household duties; hut the rural grandmotlier who sits behind .the stove and do'zes and darii.s, and darns and dozes—es|)eclally dozes—will not welcome the innoAaiion.—[Norris-tOAvn Herald. John Armstead, of Adrian, Mich., has a c.alf that Avas born without any hair on its b<Mly'. A hairless calf is a very nice tiling to sIioav to callera; but wlien Aviliter comes, and Mr. Arinstend finds tiiat lie will have to put Avcatlier-strips and an ulster on that bovine to kctq) it from freezing todeutli, lie Avill Avish tliat it had Ix?cn burn Avitli onougli hair to keep it AV arm.—[Peck’s Sun. Mankind is prone to make one little sin as prominent as possible, that at-, teiitioii may not Ix- directed to the several big sins Avliich are kept In the background. In like manner a avo-man sticks a great, liorrid, obtrusive pill into licr buck hair, that nobody may sns[K?ct slic li is a half gross of ordinary hair|)iiis concealed in her tresses,’natural and acqnired.-^[Boston Transcript. A good story conies froin an Aiigló-iiidíaii Station. A sub-licntcn-uiit took sick leave, and spent iiis leisure in tlie steps preliminary to getting married. 'I’he (,'oloiiei iieartl of the indiscretion, ami jx;reniptorily telegraphed, “Join at once.” With the fatal order in his hand, the youth l»rtx;ecdcd to say farewell to Ids betrothed. Blit the lady was inore* in-lelligent in military malici-s. “1 am glad tliat tlie Colonel approves the matcli,” she sahl: “but wliy is lie in sucha hurry';'” Tlie snh-lieiitenant was still t«x> litoral for the fair one, who had further to exjilain that tiio •‘join at once” mcani "marry immediately.” The re'siilt Avas that in forty-eiglit lio’ars tlie Colonel received tlie folIoAving reply |mm‘ telegraph: "Your ortlers arc obeyed. Wc were joined at once."—[Glasgow Evening Tinice. “Tlirow Pliyslo ta the Doi{».“ , It has come to this with all who are using the new Vitaliz’ng Tivutmont now bclns sc widely dii-p *nsv*(l by Dr«. Starkey A IHüen, IPMI (finud btruet, Pliiiuilelphia, Pa., ape-eialists in clir'iiic (liKensos. This is not a drne tii*atnient. It does not introduce an eneniv into tne svsteiu, but a kind and grufiuus healer. It docs not assault or depress nature, as ia always the case when crude ' M-s are taken, but comes to her assist,loi-e and restores her weakened vital torees. All of its elTiets urt mnile, pervading; and vitalizinir. It you are suffering froin anv disease which your physician has faileil to' cure, send to Urs. Starkey é i’alsu for their pamphlet, and learn all about ibis wonderful treatment. Statistlos of the population of the lUIiaa Kingdom for the year HfiH show that in a century tii« population uas doubled.

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