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Ohio Cincinnati Weekly Times Newspaper Archives Jun 17 1986, Page 1

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Cincinnati Weekly Times (Newspaper) - June 17, 1986, Cincinnati, Ohio Vol. XLIII.——IVo. i34.CIIVCIXrVA.TI, THXJXl,Sr>.A.Y, jrUIVE 17, 1886. ®1 Per Year, Helen, of Troy. BY FtOBKNC* PEACOCK. Lone years ago ho bore me to a land beyond the •ea. To a city fair and stately that renowned must ever be,    .    , Through all ages yeito follow, for the light Aed there by uio. , I am Uelen; where it Troyt They hare told me that not a root tree, nor a wail is standing now, That o’erthrowu Is the great altar, where ten ihonsand once did bow. While on nigh to Aphrodite rose the solemn hymn and vow. 1 am Helen; where is Troy? Do tTiey deem that thus the story of my life will pass away?    . Troy beti ayed, and all who loved Ihe slam upon that fatal day. Shall but make the memory of me evermore with men to stav. 1 am Helen; where is lYoy? Fools! to dream that time can ever maae the talc ot Troy grow old;    • Bnned now is every hero, and the grass green o’er the moid. But of her they iouiht and died for, every age shall yet bo torn. I am Helen; where Is Troy? —LThe Spectator. NOTKS AND NAW8. London basa larger population than Scot* land. Palestine is thronged with travelers this year. John Boyle O'Beilly is suffering (Tom overwork. Celia 1 haxter has gone to the Isles of Shoals for the summer. In some places in Arizona there has been no ralu for three years. The Pasteur luuil now excesds 1,000,000 Irancs, and still grows. Hr. W. D. Uovvells and faosUy go to Sharon, Mass., fur a month. A onnal across Long Island from the ocean to the Sound is projected. An Indian wliose ngs is set down as 110 years, died in Lockford, Cul., lately. Hr. Dorbheimer*8 bloL'raphy of Martin Van Biiren will be ready about Angust 1. It is stated tbat upwards of nine bun-dred women own and manage farms In Iowa. The steamer Great Eastern has been purchased, to be used as a oosl bargs at Gibraltar. Charles Dickens, the son of tot great nor* elist, bas begun a career us a public reader in England. The American Bible Stjelety printed during the last year l,4tf7,440 Bibies and new Testnments. It is reported that a deposit of genuine meerschaum has been found on the beach near Yaqulua, Or. ' Thesuluof Uie Duke of Marlborough’s pictures and curios will begin Jans 25 and continue for three weeks. An acrimoolous-looking error, in a ^ew Haven paper the other day, made alum water out ol alma mater. The last revolutionary pensioner died at Clarendon, N. T., in 1S6G, eigbty-four years after the close of the war. The manuscript ol General Fremont’s book IB nearly completed, the greater portion being already in type. The largest church in Washington Is said to be that of the colored Methodists. It •eats 2,800 people and cost $110,000. A painting for which the owner, Mr. Vernon, is said to have been offered $60,000, was destroyed at a fire in London lately. Alvin Clark’s bill for the great object glass of the Lick telescope will be about $51,000. The glass will'weigh 150 pounds, John Wunamaker, Philadelohia’s mil lionaire merchant, is about to start a weekly Juvenile magazine with colored pictures. “Anna and Wendell Phillips” Is to be the inscription on the tombstone of the famous Abolitionist and bis wife, at Milton, Mass. Belle Boyif * $50,000 damage suit against the Chicago I'ribun* has been dismissed. Tbs papei bad accused her of not paying a board bill. Ex-Presldent Hayes and Bev. Dr. Hiram C. Hayden are oontestliig candidates for the Presidency of Adelbert College, at Cleveland. Miss Bose Elizalieth Cleveland will reside in her old borne at Holland Patent, N. Y., where she will devote her lime to llt-•rary work. An Aurora, Dakota, newly fledged Justice has bung out a gorgcnas algo announcing the fact that be “will marry people at 60 cents a couple.” The Presbyteriaus propose to spend $750,000 oil foreign niisjions the coming year, whether they get it from the churches or borrow it on Interest. Dr. Henry G. Uanchett, to whom it was •aid Miss MurfTee, the novsllst, was engaged to be married, writes to the New York World denying the rumor. A young girl In New York is a skilllnl and successful looksiuitb. She used to help her father in his shop, and flnallv concluded to start out on her own account Julia Foot, a colored evangelist has been conducUiig revival meetings in Denver. She is described as a gfiod preacher, with strong, full voice and considerable natural ability. The only deraonstration^in Baltimore in honor of the President’s wedding was made by a Jolly English skipper, who dressed his steamship in bunting from truck to taffrall. There is a colored chnroh In Newton County, Georgia, wbote members have a mania for funeral sermons. One old fellow’s funeral bas been preached six times at this church witbiu the past eight months. THE COLONEL’S STHKY, BY C. S. W. *T did not learn the beginning of the romance until long after the story was concluded,” said the Colonel, in response to a question from his niece. “But my part was small enough to allow me to relate the circumstance without vanity. “I do not like to bo particular as to names; it looks too much like scandal; but you may satisfy yourself that it is a trué'^tory. “Henry Morgan and Cosmo Rols-hoven, as I shall call them, were both suitors for the hand of Camille Chester. This young lady was the daughter of a very wealthy Southerner whose name was well known in Washington before the war. “I believe she was the most beautiful woman I ever saw—no offense to prcsent company—and she was as liigh spirited as pretty. “I received but imperfect reports as to the character of Cosmo Rolshoven; but he was a very fine looking man, with something of the reckless daredevil ill his countenance. “Morgan was altogether difierent; he was rather plain as to features, but intelligent looking and very well in-furmcd. “To conclude, he bore the best sort of character among his neighbors, wliilc Rolshoven was admired more than liked. “Miss Chester is supposed to have treated her two lovers in such a manner that cither’s success in her favor appeared doubtful to them, and, of course, they gave themselves full benefit of auy smiles w'hich she may have bestowed upon them. “This was before the dcclaratiou of hostilities between the North and South, and when both gentlemen joined their party under arms they were, as we suppose, anxious to settle matters in Cupid’s tent. “They chose the same day for putting their fortuue to the test. Perhaps Rolshoven gave more attention to his toilet than did his rival—he might have further to go, or anything you Jilease—certain It Is that Morgan was first upon the spot. “He mét with a reception which his character seems really to have deserved, and when they walked out into the park late in the aftei’noou Camille Chester had promised to become his wife. “Soon after they left the mansion for the outdoor air, Cosmo Rolshoven rode up to the gate, and being informed by an officious darky that Miss Chester was strolling about the grounds, he started off in the direction the young lady had taken, hoping to overtake her. Not being aware that she was not alone he began to form a most melting speech in his mind, which should bring her to capitulate immediately. “What was his astonishment and chagrin when he came to au angle in the little brook which formed the boundary of Mr. Chester’s estate, to find the lady of his love seated upon a hillock, with his rival at her feet. “We may imagine tbat ugly feelings were in his heart when he understood the lady was already another’s, and he cursed his steed, as though his being a lew minutes behind his rival he had lost his cause. “After watching as long as he could bear the sight, ho returned to the house, aud ordering out his steed rode otf, notwithstaiididg Mr. Chester’s invitation to remain to dinner. “It was late in the evening when Henry Morgan rode homeward, and he had traversed but a mile when a dark figure upon horseback barred his passage. “Morgan recognized Cosmo Roh-hovcu, although the latter sat on his horse in the middle of the roadway with the air ot one who was about to otter the old demand, ‘Your money or your life.’ “The young men had been schoolmates In former days, and although they had never been ft-iends, there was a sort of ‘fraternal feeling,’ as Burns calls it, at least upon Morgan’s side. “ ‘Hello, Rolshoven,’ he said, somewhat astonished at the man’s demeanor ; ‘is that yon ?* •‘ ‘Yes, growled Cosmo, and then he was silent, scarcely knowing how to begin the qnarrel he was delerminod to force upon his rival. “Morgan coughed sUghtly. *You appear to have something to say to rue,’ he said. Hood’s Sa.'saparilla, acting tbrnugb tbe blood, reucbes every partof tbo systein, and In tbls way positively cures catarrb. ‘Yes^ I have something to say. Morgan,’ growled the young man, ‘I have a pair of pistols In a case here— you know how to use them, aud must protect your life.’ “Morgan vented an ejaculation of surprise, and demanded the reason for this strange speech. “ ‘I was an observer of your interview with Miss Chester a few hours back. I have always hoped to make the young lady my wife, aud since you have dispossessed me of her, I shall make au cfl'ort to deprive you of life.’ “Morgan drew himself upright in Ilia saddle, with an impatient movement. “ ‘I have dispossessed yon of nothing, Rolshoven,’ ho said, quietly. ‘Your speech can meet with but one excuse.’ “ ‘1 do not desire you should find au excuse for me, sir; I am sober. I see you doubt it, and am determined to fight or thrash you; take your choice.’ “For a moment Morgan did not rc-/, and Rolshoven drew his steed ack a few paces aud waited in silence. “Morgan was as bold as most of men, but he was reluctant to enter into this adveuture. If he was killed it would be without honor; should he succeed, he would be stained with the guilt of the blood of an acquaintance. “‘Rolshoven,’he said slowly, ‘you know I do not fear you; but I do not wish to enter into this affair. Y'our cause of anger is slight; I have mere^ ly won the prize we were both striving for, aud ’ “‘Y'ounecd not throw my disap-j)ointiueut in my face,’ cried the other. ‘Come, no more dallying, or my whip shall prove you a coward. You sec that the moon is just rising,’ he continued, in a softer tone; ‘when it has risen, give the signal at which we are both to fire. Here is a pistol at your service, if you are not supplied.’ “ ‘I am,’ said Morgan, his patience exhausted; ‘if you suffer, it is no more tlian you merited it.’ “The two men now prepared their wea^ns, while the moon was slowly making its way over the mountain tops in the distance. “All was quiet around them. Morgan, whose disjmsition was much cooler thau his adversary’s, secretly wished that some chauce comer would interrupt them, but no one cams; “At last Rolshoven grimly demanded that tae signal be given. “ ‘You shall attend to that yourself,’ said Morgan. ‘I will have nothing to do in the matter—it is against my will.’ “Without making any reply to this Rolshoven prepared to count. “ ‘Ready,’ he said, iu a harsh tone; ‘one, two—three,’and as the last word issued from his lips he firod.’ “Morgan was a trifle later, but did more execution; for, while Rolsho-ven’s bullet whistled over his head, be received the other’s lead in his body. “He thought his death wound had been given, and spurred his tright-cued steed toward Morgan. “Drawing the saber which he carried from its scabbard he aimed a blow at the other’s head. -“The man’s treachery was so unexpected that, in trying to ward off the blow, Morgan fell from his saddle. “Rolshoven leaped from his horse, and would have dispatched the fallen man had he not been intercepted by the advent of two jiersons who uow apjieared upon the scene. “These were Mr. Chester aud a negro servant, who had witnessed the oommeiiccment of the reiicontcr and bad hastened to inform his master. ' “As they galloped up, Rolshoven drew back, and, notwithstanding his wound, leaped upon his horse and rode away with the fury of a baffled man.    • “Nearly a year passed away before the finishing stroke of this little drama was given. “I strolled out one evening, accompanied by a brother officer. It was a bright, mooulight night, and,although I was not aware at that time of the events which I have related, we were within five miles of Mr. Chester’s estate. “The Federal forces had been victorious in a battle which had been fouglit the day before, and the Confederates were nj>oti their retreat. “We came to the foot of ajiill whoso top was flooded with a bright moonlight. “My companion proposed that we ascend, and, as I consented, we began to climb the hill. “As we neared the top, a man sud-denlv stcp|>9d into view. “•fellI' whispered my companion, pulling my arm, ‘look up there aud observe the uniform I’ “I followed his direction aud saw a man dressed in the Confederate uniform with a rifle in his hand. Tiie weapon was leveled, and ho seemed in the verj' act of firing upon some, to us, iuvisiblo object. “‘See me plftk him off,’ cried my companion, aud he threw the light rifle which he had brought from carnp Avlth the remote hope of meeting with game, to his shoulder, aud ere I could interfere, had fired. “I had not the least idea that the bullet would reach its mark until 1 saw the stranger throw up his arui aud fall. “With a cry of exultation, tlio young officer began to clamber reck lossly up the ascent. “Ho sceinod to forget in the excite ment of the moment, that ho might be running into the hands of his enemies. “With a cry for him to return, I was forced to follow, and wo clambered up the ascent without discovering anything suspicious, although I expected my friend’s shot would be returned with deadly cflect by concealed marksmen. “I was several paces behind my companion when he reached the top of the hill, and as he halted with a cry of alarm, I imagined he had run into some ambush. “‘Come back,’ I screamed; but I did not stop, and an instant later stood at his side, determined to share his danger, should there bo any. “Instead of a party of fllllbnsters, whom I had exnected to meet, I saw a youug lady upou tbe grouud aud a man dressed iu dark clothes bending over her. “I supposed she was dead at first; but she had only fainted, aud we soon restored her to her senses. “The man upon whom my friend had fired lay uj)on the ground shot through the brain. “When the young lady recovered, her conij)anion thanked us for our services, which he said had preserved their lives, and after a little licsita-tion, thinking probably that we would not j)art with him unleís he explained liis presence here, gave the following brief account; “They (the young lady and himself) had strolled out from the former’s home just aseycning was closing ill, aud as they reached the top of the hill were contronted by the man who now lay dead at our feet. He was an old enemy, and had declared his intention, aud was in the act of shout-inir the young man when my companion’s bullet Jiad cut short his.career. ‘•This was the substance of his cx-jdanation, and when the young lady added her expressions of gratitude to his own, we were compelled to allow them to depart, although I had a strong suspicion that the man was not what he seemed. “Not long afterward I learned that the individual whose life we came in time to preserve was Major Henry Morgan, and also the particulars of his fead with Cosmo Rolshoveu.”— [Atlanta Constitution.” Mortal or Iniiuortal. BY FBANCKS WOOD. It thou art base and onrthlf, then despair. Thou art but mortal us the brute that falls. Birds weave their nests, the lion llnds a lair, Man builds his ualUi These are bnt coverU from earth’s war and Sturm, Homes whore our lesser livss take shape and breath. But, if no heavoDiy roan has grown, what form Cluthes thee at death? And when thy meed of penalty it o’er. And lire has burnt the dross, where gold is none. Shall separate life, bat wasted heretofore, blill linger on? God fills all space; whatever doth offend, From liis unbounded presence shall be spumed. Or dcem’st thou He should gamer tares, wbote end Is to be burned? If thou would!<t see the Power that round thee sways. In whom all motions, thought, and Ilfs are east. Know that tlie pure, who travel heavenward ways, See God at last.A FISHERMAN’S EXPLOIT. What Arlemos Ward Took. G. W. Carleton, the veteran publisher, who has just retired from business, gives the following reminiscences of Arlemus Ward: “We projected a comic book together, and ‘A. Ward, his Book,’ was the result. More than 50,000 copies were sold in six months. Arteiuus Ward became famous at once, and his ‘Moral Lecture’ was set on toot. One day in the height of his pojiularity, he was lying on a sofa in inv office at Broadway aud Lisjicnarti street, enjoying a cigar, when a telegram froin McGuire, tho manager of the San Francisco Opera House, was handed to him. ‘What will you take for ten nights in Calitornla,' was the message. Without a momeut’s reflection or even changing his jiosturc ho wrote out the answer; ‘Brandy and Water. A. Ward.’ The little dispatch—a ten-dollar joke—was printed in the San Francisco papers, and won the humorist a placo at once in the hearts of tho Californians. Browne got a good deal more than brandy and water out of the lecturing tour. He came into my office one day, fresh from San Francisco, and pulled out of his pocket au old* woolen stocking full of $20 gold pieces, which ho wanted to deposit with me for safe keeping. I published more books for Ward after that, although I often had hard work to arrange, sift and ‘boil down’his tangled copy. Just before be died, he wrote mo a letter saying; ‘You and I will get out a comic book next fall, which will knock out of every other comic book over published'.' There is tho letter, but the book, on-tortuuaieljr, was never even begun.” Blary Anderson’s New Hat. rCbicago Mail.] ’ The style is stagey, and not one to credit to Miss Anderson’s taste, on considering the neat, unoitcntatious character of her street garb, as represented in her photographs. Hie crown is conical, with a flap top fully six inches above the brim,which is rather w’ido and drooping. This is jauntily caught up oil tho right side. Two flounces ot rare lace conceal the crowu,and a uetwork of graduated )cai'is tiie brim. In tho front was au injiortcd beaded plume, which alouo cost $18. Two Ivory pug dog heads of the very ugliest features, but exquisite iu carving, indented a stiff bunch of cream picot ribbon grou|>«d to one sido. It was entirely lined and faced with cream crajie. In detail it was rich and beautiful, of course, but the ensemble was no more gratifying than a composition of ecru and tulle and jKimpons. marked |3. She hesitated in a choice of the ^ item and a large French importation of fine ecru Milan braid, with high crown, rolling brim and bigh triminiug of beige and He Captured a Baby Bear, but Had lo Kill Its Mother. brown velvet, with a bird of paradise of wayitig plumes. 1 have been cured of rhouiiiatisin ersr since 1 took tks second boUls of Atblo-phoros, nesHy three years sfo. Tiie sdA-ness in toy Joints Is oured. 1 know of others cured of tbe enme nlseose lu our county. Weeley Hill, CeUarvUle, 0. [Scranton Cor. Now York Snn.l One day last week, while Gale Boardman, of Spring Brook Town-bhip, was on Ids way home from a.trout stream back in the mountains, ho came across a young bear in the forest near a big swamp. The cub was nosiug around among tho weeds and low bushes, and did not notice that Boardman was near him. After having skirmished about a little hud ascertained that the mother bear was not in sight, Boardman adjusted his basketful of trout, strapped his tackle to his shoulders, grabbed tho youngster in his arms and hastened his steps toward the nearest point to the clearing. The cub had been seized so suddenly that he did nothing at first but tremble from fright, but before Boardman had got more than twenty rods from the swamp he bcgau to v.’hinc and whimper and beg his mother to come to his assistance in a way that made Boardinau feel uncomfortable. But he kept right along as though the little bear was as silent as the grave, now patting him tenderly on his head with his right hand, and then speaking kindly to him iu order to quiet his foars. The 'frightened cub refused to be pacified, hawcver, by this sort of treatment, and Boardman, who wanted to take the young bear home with him, was beginning to feel that he bad a bigger job on his hands than lie at first supposed, wlioii a happy thought struck him. He had been away from home for two days, and he remembered that in the lunch basket attached to his belt there was some honey which he had taken along to sj^read on his broad. Without slackening his pace Boardman held the whining cub with his left arm while with ids right hand ho reached around aud got tiie houev out of the basket. When he stuck the honey under the cub’s nose the effect was magical. Tho hairy little captive sniffed at the sweet morsel, ceased whimperingat once, and began to smack hit chops with great satisfaction. Boardman wanted tB make the honey last as long as possible, and, as soon as the cub haa got a good taste of iL he withdrew his band to see bow the little fellow would act The cub immediately became uneasy, aud set up a piteous moan. Then the fislierinau gave him another taste of the sweetness, and he seemed to forget all about his motiicr at once. Boardman rejieatcd this at brief intervals during the next half mile of Ids journey, and he found that the only way he could keep the cub quiet was to let him suck the honey coii-stantly. That part of the forest through which Boardman was then tramping was uneven and rocky, lie had to climb over fallen trees and pick his way through thick underbrush, and the weight of the cub and his long jaunt had made him tired and thirst v. So he sat down on a log and rested for a few minutes. While ho sat there the cub licked the last drop of honey from Ids hand and began to cry for more. Boardman then got a piece of meat out of his basket, held it under the cub’s nose aud started on. The little bear was unable to chew the meat, but sucked it vigorously and kept still. in the course of another half hour Boardman reached the head of a ravine, where a spring of cold water bubbled out of the rpcky hillside, lie placed the cub iu a hollow stump near by, and took the chunk of meat away from it, for fear it might choke Itself to death. The youug bear had another fit of wldiiing as soon as this was dono, but he couldn’t get out of tlie hollow stump very well after Boardmau had placed a log on top of it Then Boardman went to the spring, got down on his hands and knees, and began to slake his thirst. While ho was still iu that altitude lie heard a commotion in the neighbor hooil of the stump that startled him. He areso quickly aud saw a full-growii bear making a great rumpus around the sjiot where the Httlo boar u as a prisoner. This was asíate of things which he had feared from the time that ho had captured the cub, and ho was uot very well prepared for it. His revolver bad onlyoi>o cartridge ill it, and ho was afraid that if ho missed the old bear when he firod at her, ho wouid eliircr be compelled to engage in a lively tussle with her or to get away without the cub. When Boardman walked down toward the stump, the old bear was on top of it, coaxing tho cub to come out. The cub was still moaning to be free, aud trying his best to reach his mother, but his efforts wore useless, as the log held him down. Then the mother bear undertook jmll the log off with her paws, and would doubtless have succeeded in a little while had uot Boardman crept up to within a few feet of her and lodged a bullet in her left jaw. She roared with pain as she rolled from the slump, and was on her feci in an instant. Then she made for Boardman with all her might. He had drawn a loiig-bladed knife in the mean time, and, as ahe was about to strike him down, he plunged the sharp weapon into her thro"t, twisted H arouud, aud theu lumped back quickly. Two minutes later she was dead. Boardman then took the crying cub from the hollow stump Qud started home, reaching there a little after dark. Tales Told Out of bcliool. iDoslon Record.] It is about time for another budget of school stories aud here they are; Teachers are required by some pupils to put questions in just the proper form to elicit tho answers desired. Recently a class of girls had been discussing the climate of Chili, aud, to see it one ’oi the number knew that the seasons there occur at opposite times to ours, the question was put; “When do they have their seasons in tho south temperate zone, Katie?” “All tho year roiind 1” was tlie iiistaut response. “If England is om* mother country, is India our father country ?” asked a iromising pupil the othcr'day. “No, ndeed; why do yon ask such a question ?” “Nothing, only I see it’s Farther ludia on the map.” He was ouly ten, and said it in good faith. Another pujiil read tho expression, “arms of the sea,” iu a very vague fashion. “What do j'ou mean—anything given in charity ?” “No, m’m.” “Firearms, perhajis?” “Yes, m’m.” “Will you toll me (this rather imjia-licntly) any explosives from.tlie sea?” “Shells.” He was leut to tho hc.'^d in language. Another small boy. with tho possibilities of omincnce in tho field of romantic literature in tho dim future, handed iu this bit of grapliic description; “The selvas aro occupied by a great variety of reptiles and Insects such as the monkey. There are many poisonous insects hanging from tho bows whore tambourines grow. The rhinocerous lives on the most beautiful trees. Iu the frigit zone we see immeiiso icebergs and icicles on which are whales and other birds—a large animal is scooting water through his nose. In the Arctic Ocean we find birds sittiug on the grass—these birds walk on their hind feet,” How many nnintcrcsting essays we should bo spared if writers who* have not a slight knowledge of matters discussed were to follow the example of the high school girl who wrote; “I am to write ou the subject of .^-iUietl-cism. Having nothing whatever to say on the subject, I now proceed to say it,” That was all. This was an acldal reading In a Somerville grammar school the other day; by a big boy, of the passage in' the Reader which tells how Longfellow took possession of tho Craigie house and livod an ideal life there: “After this, Lung-fellow retired to the carriage house, aud there lived an almost idle life I” A Royal Artist. fMnKAzlue ot Art for Juno.] It is only when we come down to quite our own day that the love of art in tho Royal Family—which the heavy Hauovers must have considerably loopardized—rouses itself from its lethargy, aud to use a rather mixed metaphor, bears fruit. The influence, not only of the royal patronage, ot art, but of ilte royal interest in it during the prcsent reign, has been very greatly beneficial. The Prince Consort was a man of groat natural taste, which he had sedulously cultivated, and the same taste is ajiparont ill most of his children. Her Majesty the Queen is herself an artist. 8lie sketches from nature; and the public has lately had tho privilege of seeing reproductions of some of her work. Her drawings from the figure are spirited and forcible, and her animals are full of life and “go.” Tho writer is not aware wliother the Prince of Wales is himself an artist, but ho does kuow how keen an interest he takes in art in general, aud in that of his own country in particular. The time aud personal attention which he has devoted on different occasions to our art exhibits at various great international exhibitions would alone be proof ,of tlio bvc he beai's for art. Several * of tho other members of the Royal Fijmily practice painting admirably. The late Princes Alice possessed unusual artistic Dowers; we all know the Princess Beatrice’s work; aud the Princess Ixiuise, besides being a first-rate landscajie painter, has lately turned her artistic talent in a new direction, and has produced a sutue of tho Quoon for the west front of Lichfield Cathedral, which is full of dignity, and jiossesscs beauty ot line. Id 1800 one-iwenty-lifili of tbe population of tbe Dnlted States lirod in oities or 8,000 inhnbltunts and upward; iu 1840, oue-twcirib;in I860, oue-sixth; In 1880, nearly oue-fourtb. During tbe balf centuiy preceding 1880 tbe population in oities increased more than font times as rapidly as tbat of tbe vlllsfe and country. Society is tired of weddluKS. Lifb lu ilie Bane Sewers IS possible, for a abort time to tbe robust, but tbe malorlty of refined pertous would prefer immediate deatb to existence in tbelr reeking stmospbere. ilow much more revolting to be In one's self a living sewer. But tbls Is actually tbe case wltb tbose in whom the Inaotivity of tbe liver drives the retuse matter of the body to escape tbrougb the lungs, breath, tbe pores, kidneys anu bladder, it is astonishing that life remains in snob a dwelling. Dr. I'ieroe’s “Uoldeo Medioal Disoovery” restores normal purity to tbe system and reuews tbe whole being. An Ample Apology. ST MR8.0RO. aaCHIBiLD. The ular wag dtno, and toward the stage» Impatient to be gone. The pleasurc-loTcrg turned their backs. With many a smothered rawn. The hour wat late, and each man stroTO To make hUexit through The crowded door, with tooth and nail. As well-breu people do. And one-a hnsband—aa he poshed, \V as aided in the strife. By her whom he had sometime mad* His lawful, wedded wife. Whoso seal—a woman’s zeal—outran. Her teason as she wrought, W’holost her husband In the crowd. Nor found him when she sought. But ho—all panting from the fray, Kspled a slender form. Arranged In rubes whose cost he knew— He seized her by tho arm; Ami being somewhat worsted m The com|>etition past. With sngrv wonts no greetml her, And grtjiped her liard and fast. She answered not fls some might do, Hut with a ilrold grace, She lifted toward his reddened phiz, A sweet, reproachful faiio, A fai'.« that made his contcienee sting Ills manhood like a knife— •‘Forgive inv rudeness, miss,” said he, “I tbonght It was my wife.” CBltllBNT FCN. Weighs that are dark—Tbe coal de»ler*t — [Boston Commercial. Tbe depth of poverty—when you pay your respects to your friends.—[Baltl more News. A dude insulted a fair widow tbe otbei day and she gave blui tbe widow’s amite.— [Tuzas Figaro. it was a wise provision of nature tbml clothed tbeuorlbernmoatmouutaine in fir*. —[Baltimore Newa. Footllghte ore not used at Cbloago amateur performauoea. Feet there oau U seen without them.-[I’icayuue. We boor a great deal of talk about tba oousuinption of fish. We wonder tbey don’t try cod liver oil.—[Puok. Mr. O'Toole—“1 waut ter insure me plaoe at onotl Uucry up, now, lor iU buriilu’ down moightv quick.”—[Judge. We do uot see why people should be turi prised at ladies’ corseU being tight—they are always ou a bust.—[Busion Commer-olul Bulletin. A man inJ’bllodelpbiabM engraved tbe Lord’s Prayer on a three cent piece, but Byron wrote t poem ou a corsstr. Tbls ie flue writing.—[Life.    - Aooording to Webster’s Dictionary, % wiiidbore Is tbe lower or buttom pipe in u lift of pumps In a mine; but in real Ule 11 is simply a book agent.-[Puok. A.—< At telephone.)—‘‘Uellob I did I leave my umbrsllarat your bouse last nightf” B.—(Replying.)-••There were two lefl;ie tbii one yours?”—Comio Weekly. Mr. H. A. Seed—•* Wbat’s that air tin bose fur?” Hotel Clerk—••That’s a spoaking tube.” Mr. H. A. 8ee4—“Say, grind’sr up a litUe,*u le’s bear her talk.”—[Judge. 8am. Jones says tbat baseball is ao-otber name for abeoi. Sum. must bate seen lbs Nationals and tba Bostons trying to make a reoord.—[Washington Critio. Dangerous looking trump (sternly)— ”3ive me your watch I ’ Funny Mr. Small, top—“With pleasure; it’s a Watei bury D. L. T.—‘’Well, then, your clothes go with iu”—[Judge. Landlady—‘‘The coffee, I am sorry to say. Is exhausted, Mr. Smith.” Boarder SnsiUi —‘‘Ab, yes, poor thing; I've notioed that for some time it hasn’t keen strong.”— [I'ezas Siftings. YisUiug olorgymau (in Indian Nation)—' ‘‘Are all these Indians ChristiansT’ Irisb waiter—“No, sur, not wan of tpim; some is Coinancbes an’ some is EplscojiaUana.” —[I'exas Sittings. Tbo Prosident’a wife is not Infested with as much power as CongreM; but it is uev> ertbelass true that she is superior to tbat body in one retpecU Her billa caa not bt vetoed.—iQlobc-DsmoeraU “Who is tbat man, map’ said a litlla Minneapolie boy. “Whlco man, ebUd?” “I'bat one that’s doin’ op that sugar, aud that oomos to our bouse Bomeiimes.** “HushI child, that’s your pa. He's busy now.”—[Nortbweot Trade. “Doctor, bow is Banker Jones? I htani that bw was very siok.” ’‘Ho has Joiueo the inoamerable oaravaii,” said tbe pby-8lolan,soIsn]iily. “Whall you don’t mean to say that Jones bas skipped to Cauada? Wslll weIII”-[New York Sun. Hngley-“Cuine, sir, I wish you would quit pufling that smoke iu my taoe.” l*en--stook—‘‘Doesn’t hurt the smoke, mv dear sir.” “It hurts me, sir; 1 detest the smell of tobacco,” ‘‘My doer sir, this is not tobacco; it Is a flve-oent olgnr.”—[ I'obaeoo. Customer—‘‘Mr. .bcbidleblmer, it seems to me tbat your tén-oeut loaves are not proportionately larger than your five.oenl loaves, oertsliily not liviod as large.” Sohldlebelmer—“Dot vos so. I vas told that mjoelf already pefore, und 1 flxuc dot. To-morrow I viil make dose flvea-oeui loafs much smaller.”—[I'ld-Bits. “Beea to Pbilodelpliia, eh? Make any acquaintances there?” “I should say I did. Was Introduoed everywhere. By the way, you llred there once, 1 belieye. Suppose yon know all the eooioty people P* “Don’t know any. You see I wae boru there, and my parenta lived on tbe wrouc side of the street."—[«-hicnvo Nows. > 8 OZOnONT tho ladies prld^ O nly rival! it (lends. X opiin of flower laden aJr, O Illy with it can eompare, 0 oing good 10 svorythlag. O n every tide its pralMS ring; N cglect to use It, ladies won't T Usy aU Buat havs ibeir SOZODGNT.

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