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Ohio Cincinnati Weekly Times Newspaper Archives Jul 31 1884, Page 1

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Cincinnati Weekly Times (Newspaper) - July 31, 1884, Cincinnati, Ohio m Vol. XLT. Xo. 31.CirVCITWXTI, 'JTHXJBISOX.Y, JTJI^Y 31, 188-1. 81 Per Year, Waiting. Serene I folil my liaiuls iftnl wait, A’orciire for nor tnle, uorBcn; 1 rave no mon 'jiainst lime or fate, For lu! luf own sliull come to me. I stay niy haste, I make «lelays; lor what avails this eairer imcct 1 stand amid tlie eternal ways. And what is mine shall know my face. Asleep, away, by night or day, The rriend's I »t'« k are seeking me; No w ind can drive my bark astray. Nor change the tide of desUny. What nialter if I stand alone? I w.iit with joy the coming years; Wy heart hall reap where t hassowa. And garner up its fruit of t.-nrs. The waters know their own and draw The Imaik that springs in vonder heights: tk) Hows !«ie giMid w iili e<iual law Lnto the soul of pure deiights. The stars come nightly to the sky. The tidal w ave unto tin- sea; Nor time, nor space, nor dee|», nor high, Can keep niy own away froni me. —.1 hn Burroughs. NOTES AND NEWS. KOMAM’E OF A «OSDOLA: I was Trade between the I’liitcd States and Australia is growing ranidly. Thus far the wntei ing-p'ace season has been very quiet and uneveiilful. Artesian wells were known at Thebes 2.000 years before the Christian era. l>et there be no more Arctic tragedies is the prevailing sentiineiit among the people. “A house full of boarders for sale” reads an atlvertisemeiit in a Boston paiicr. Tlie price ot gas in London is only sixtv-six cents per 1,000 feet, ami it promises to come lower yet. Penny dinners for school children have been instituted under the direction of the London School Board. Cremation has been adopted by authority at Lisbon, Portugal. In time of cpulemic It is made compulsory. Pullman ears are td be used on railroads In Brazil, where they are beginning to appreciate comforts in traveling. A restaurant at Coney Island has a large placard on its piazza announcing “Eighteen-carrot vegetable soup.” A Chicago lawyer has coiiiiKisod a poem on “^ly Conscience.” It ought to sell well. The public are fond of novelties. The emancipation laws of Brazil are poor -ly enforced, and many thousands who were long since entitled to freedom remain in bondage. Tne Duke of Edinburgh is an enthusiastic stamp collector. 'I'iie collection was only commenced lust year, and already nuniliers 3,OJO. Henry' Wiird Beecher, now at his Peek-skill farm, is vigorously practicing daily oil u bicycle, hoping by fail time to make a remarkáblo run. A few' years ago the women of India were not allowed to learn to read. Now there are l-.Hi,34S girls attending schools es-tablishcil for them. Oeneral .McClellan is now President of a ranch conipaiiy in («rant County, New Jlexieo. owning lO.iKlO head of cattle and l,r»00,000 acres ol laud. Scarlet crape sun bonnets, trimmed with Biecn corn or bearded wlieat and green velvet katydids, are fashionable shade hats worn in the mountains. The district around Galena, Kansas, is credited with l>cing the largest zinc pro-dtionig locality in the world. Last year 70.000 tons were mined. Additional hot springs arc being devel-opeil at Hut lifpriiigs. Ark., by digging in the side of the niouiitaii), out of which the other hot springs issue. ITnustially cold and rainy w’eather has damaged all crops In Italy, the vine having es|)ccially sullered. A very poor and Bcaii‘y ycld of wiiio is anticipated. Tlie women of France arc discussing a project of erecting a moiiiiincnt at Paris to the memory of the late Dr. Sims, as the greatest surgical benefactor of tneir sex. Capo Cod llisliermeu iiavc had unusually good luck during the imst month or so, the hauls being very large and f.ir in advance of tlio corresponding period of last year. Pugs liaviiig gone out of vogue, a Ran Francisco belie Is starting a new fashion in |)ots. She has iinporbd from British roluiubia a bright, good naturcd ludían baby. Prince (Itorge of Wales has lieon pro-luopsl from the midshipman list to the rank of Kul'-liefltennul, Uoyal N’avy, having lieen auecesHiul in taking ii tirst eiass ccrtilicate ill sininiaiisliip. Truth, of liOiidon, hours that the Queen lias issued acniiiiii..iid tliiit when the Prince nnd Princess of WaloM dine out in London the iiiiiiibei'of giicsiN invited to meet them is not to exceed lourteeii. 11 is cstiiiinteU tliat the English nation spends about $l3,loOa year on photography, of w hicli Hum$4,3()0 goes fur photographing the inmates of jails in all parts of the Ihrec kingdoms. $:i.S;H) is used un in the jiliotogiMidiic departnicut at Woolwich Arsenal, nuda balance of aliout $.’>,000 is sjieiit on photographs of art ulijects. M'f.h,-Duk8skd I’Kort.K don’t wear dingy or liideii things when the 10c. nnd guaranteed Diiimoiid Dyo will make them pood as new. 'I'licy arc perfect. Get at druggists nnd bo economical, Wells, ILchurdsoii Jt Co., Burlington, Vt. A Llvernool bicyclist who was riding down a steei. hill near that city was shot tlirough n cottage window by the breaking of bis machine. “100 Doses One Dollar” is true only of Hood’s Rarsapsrllla, and It is an umiiiHwor-able urguinciit as to streiigth nnd economy Hinisler 1/iwcIl hopes not to bo “so Knglislt” as to hnve the gout any more. “Boagli on Tuottische," iustnut rcUof. 16c. ^Ir. Samuel Giimby was a very rich stock broker, who bad coni-lueuccd life as an office boy to the em-iucut firm in which he Avas uoaa' the senior partner. lie was a bumptious, pushing individual, exceeding proud of himself, bis money, his famih', and, indeed, of et'erything which belonged to liim. Being very well off, indeed, Mr. Gumhy had no idea of hiding his light under a bushel, and, though by no means extravagant, he never hesitated to spend money upon his OAvn gratification, provided it was done in a sufficiently open and ostentations fashion. Mr. Gumhy had a very fine house, a great number of gorgeous menials, and jilcnty of horses and carriages; hut his pet weakness was the river. Ever since he had been an otticc hoy, and had daily been conveyed from Chelsea to the city on hoard a penny steamer, he liad taken a keen interest in matters aquatic, one of the first extravagances of which he had been guilty was the purchase of a stoiiin laniich. Mr. Gninhy was a great deal too careful of himself to trust his precrous person in a skiff or a dingy, except when he could not help it. Bowing blistered his hands, and, as he could not swim, ho had a very wholesome tlread of being drowned. On a steam launch, however, or on the smooth lawn of Ids house at Maidenhead, Mr. Gumhy was quite in his element. He attired himself in ihamieU and a straw hut, and, standing in a very consiticiious position on the deck of the Bertha (he liad named lier after a well-known stock), he issued his orders to tlie crew, or to the magnificent footmen who constantly accompanied liiin, with twice the pomposity of the captain of an ironclad. On Ids lawn, too, the worthy stock broker never forgot to impress all iiasscrs-hy with a sense of wealth and dignity. In fine weather he took most of his meals there, surrounded by his fandly and waited on by mimcroiis servants. JIc erected an oi>en marquee, under which tables seemed to remain most of the day, ready for a meal of some sort, and covered with costly plate and bottles of champagne. It is needless to remark that tltc Henley regatta annually afibrded Mr. Gumhy excellent opportuidties for the gratification of his ruling jiassion. At the aquatic carnival, as it is the fashion to call it, he always made a point of appearing in tremendous state. He lived in a house boat ot ahnornial dimensions and unprecedented niagidficencc, Avldle two or more smaller craft of the same de-scriiition served for the accommodation of a party of friends. He was, of course, attended by a large staff of servants, who slejit iti the town and appearctl at an eaily hour in the morning to minister to his wants. One lovely June morning Mr. Gumhy was seated in a luxurious arm-chair on the lawn of hi.s house reading his letters. As he had ttvo or three partners and a large staff of clerks, the worthy stock broker was not in the habit of appearing at his offices much before noon. Moreover, business was comparatively slack, so in fine weather he frequently did not go to the city at all. One of his letters Avas from an eminent artist of the vague school, Avhom Mr. Gninhy had commissioned to paint him some vioAVS of Venice. Mr. La/./.aronev Mozzoliliter UroAvn, for .such Avas this dislingnished painter’s name, or that, at all events, by Avhich he called himself, Avrotc to announce that his Avork had been satisfactorily completed, and that he was on the point of returning homo. “By the Avay,” AA'iotc ^fr. BroAvn, “I Avonder that a man so fond of the ri\er as you arc has ncA'cr tried a Venetian gondola. It is a delightful craft, and the motion is dreamy and luxurious. There is one to bo sold just nOAV Avliich Avas expressly built for a young nohleimin avIio has unfortunately ruined himself by gambling. Yon Avoiild, of course, Avalit a gondolier, hut that could ho easily managetl. I am sure it Avould look charming at Henley.’' Mr. Gumhy always paid Mr. L. M. Brown oxecllent prices for his daubs, mid the artist Avas an astute person who perfectly understood iMsiiafron’s Avoaknesses. The stock broker Avas nuieh taken Avlth the notion. ‘‘An cxecllent idea of Brown’s,” he musi'd; “it Avonld look sjilendid at Henley; nnd Avhat a rise it AVonld take out of old Sharon 1 He would he green Avith envy. I’ll go and ask the missus and the girls.” Mrs. and the Misses Gumhy aa'civ, of course, cnohautotl, and a telcgratu was promptly dispatched to Mr. BroAvn, bidding him secure the gou-tlola at once, and have it sent OA’cr in charge of a trustworthy gondolier. The gentleman Avlioni Mr. Gumhy hoped to Inrn green AVilh envy at the new acqtiisition Avas a certain Mr. Moses Sharon, an old friend and rival of the stockbroker’s. He Avas a partner in tlie great house of Sharon & Sons, foreign loan agents and financiers, and, unfortunately for Mr. Guinby’s peace of mind, his tastes luy in the same direction as those of that eminent nation of mnttcri aquatic. Mr. Sharon Avas very fond of the river; he had a Itouse not very lar from Mr. Gumby’s; he was the i>os scssor of a steam launch and ho usu ally monopolized a hundred yards or so of the bank at Henley Avitli a row of gorgeously ajipointed house boats. Tlic sight of Mr. Sharon’s house, launch and house boats had long sorely A’cxod the rightoons soul of the stockbroker. But Mr. Sharon was exceedingly fond of display and he seemed to take a malicious pleasure in cutting out Mr. Gumhy in his own special line. Wlten the latter gentleman started a couple of flunkeys gorgeous in blue and silver liveries, Mr. Sharon responded Avith four rosiilendont in crimson and gold. Mr. (lunihy increased his staff' to four, hut Mr. Sharon Avas not to he outdone, and flaunted half a dozen in the eyes of his rival. Mr. Guinhy’s steam launch had a parqueteric deck and blue satin hangings; hut Mr. Sharon’s Avas adorned with electro-plated rails, Avhich some people averred were solid silver. A profusion of silver plate glittered on the tables on Mr. Guinhv’s lawn; hut Mr. Sharon’s was gold, or, at all events, silv'er gilt. Hence it came to pass that Mr. Guin-hy hated Mr. Sharon Avitli a fervent hatred, and anticipated Avith delight the prospect of outdoing him in the matter of the gondola. In a fcAV days ]Mr. Lazzaroncy Mcz-zotintcr BroAvn telegraphed to say that he had secured t’lc gondola for Mr. Gumhy at a ridiculously Ioav figure—Avhich, nevertheless, caused the Avorthy stock broker to open his eyes considerably; and that he Avould bring it o\er himself Avithont delay, accompanied by a most admirable gondolier, Avho rejoiced in the romantic name of Angelo Macaroni. So Mr. Giimhy's mind wts at rest, and he looked forward Avith glee to the arrival of the gondola, and to the complete discomfiture of the presumptions Sharon. A fortnight piisseil and the gondola and gondolier duly arrived and Avore introduced to their new master by the obliging artist. Mr. Gumhy was hugely delighted Avitli his uoav purchase, and in the enthusiasm of the moment, gave Mr. BroAvn a check for his pictures without noticing that tliat i'igenius painter had charged him about fifty per cent more tíiau his usual tirices. 3ilrs. and the Misses Gumhy were also in ccstacias, and no time Avas lost in launching the odd-looking craft on the Thames and taking her for a trial trip under the experienced guidance of Macaroni. Everything Avent admirablj'. The motion, as 3fr. BroAvn had said, Avas delightful; the gondolier’s skill was amazing, and that personage himself, with his SAvarfliA' skin, black eyes and pictnresqnc costume, attracted an amount of attention Avhicli caused Mr. Gumhy to feel at peace with all the Avorld. XaUirally enough he took good care to pass close under the laAvn of Mr. Sharon’s house, Avhcn he had the unspeakable satisfaction of seeing Sharon and sons in person, and of noticing the air of astonishment and chagrin Avitlnvhichthey Avatched liim. “Hullo, Sharon, my hoy,” shouted Mr. Gumhy. ‘‘What do you think of this craft? Just come from Venice with the cove that steers her. Hasn’t he gone green !” he added to his wife, as he subsided into a fit of suppressed chuckling. AV'hcthcr Mr. Sharon went green or not, tlicrois no doubt that he was exceedingly disgusted. Mr. Gumhy had undoubtedly stolen a march upon him, and on this particular occasion cA'en his astute brain failed to devise any means of cutting out his rival. “Telegraph to Venice for tAVO gondolas,” suggested one of his sons. “Stuffand nonsense!” growled old Sharon. “What’s the use? Henley’s next Avcck. Hang Gnmhy and his gondola! I’d give £50 to any one who could tell me how to put his nose out of joint I” And so there Avas joy in the house of Gumhy, Avhile Sharon and his sons, figuratively speaking, sat in sackcloth ami ashes. The joy of the fortunate possessor of the gondola was only marred hy one tritling draAvhack. and that Angolo Macaroni, jierfect gondolier though ho Avas, could neither sjieak nor understand one single word of the English tongue. Mr. Gumhy, it is needless to nmiark, Avas utterly innocent of Italian, and his Avife and daughters, although they immediately invested in a phrase hook and a dictionary of that mnsical language, could not he expected to make much progress in it before the regatta. One of the Miss Gnmhys, however, devised a notable plan for directing the operations of Angelo, She adapted to the circumstances the phrases which she found in her music books, and it soon came to he understood between them that andante or piano sloAv, forto fast, da-capo turn hack, and 80 on. The vocabulary Avas certainly limited, but it was more or less elfecliA’c, nnd Macaroni received directions Avitli many “Si Signori-mds” and much grinning, and generally seemed to comprehend her Avishcs. The first day of the Hcnly regatta came and Avent, and Mr. Gumhy’s triumph was complete. Tltc goiulola created a prodigious amount of inter est; Macaroni’s steering was tho ad miration of all beholders. Mr. Gunihy’s Ihrco houseboats Avcrc croAvdcd all day lou[? with lots of nice people, curious to examine closely (he Avomlrous craft and to interview the jU’oprictor, while those of Mr. Sharon Avcro comparatively empty Gumhy accordingly went to bod sc rcnely happy, and blessed the names of Lazzaroncy 51. BroAvn and Angelo Macaroni. Far otherAvise was it Avith Sharon and sons. The triumph of their rival was gall and AV'orniAvood to them, and they sat late into the night on the deck of oneot their boats, plotting futile schemes of A'cngcance. “I’d give fifty pounds to upset the thing,” groaned old Sharon in despair. “Make it a hundred and I’ll luiA'e a try,” said a voice from the darkness. “Is that yon, Barnes, my hoy ? Well, you shall Ikia'c it if you do. But Avhat are you thinking of 1” “NcA'cr miiid, Mr. Sharon; you leave that to me,” Avas tlie answer. J\Ir. Charlie Barnes v/as a A'cry lively young Oxford undergraduate, a friend of Sharon's son Isaac, and the confident tone in Avhich he spoke did something to revive the drooping spirits of his host. Tho next morning was fine, and Mr. Gnmhy was astir at the comparatively early hour of 9 o’clock. He was in an excellent temper and felt prouder than ever of himself and his possessions. Naturally enough, one of his first cares Avas to inspect the gondola. There she lay', moored to a honse-boat, her sombre black and gold contrasting odtlly Avith the blue satin hangings. Everything was just as he had left it last night, but Angelo, the gondolier, Avas not to he seen. This s'ruckMr. Gumhy as being someAvliat old, for the man Avas, as a rule, a A'cry early riser, and ordinarily spent hours in cleaning and polishing his craft before any of his master's family Averc out of bed. “Must have overslept Itimsclf,” thought Gumhy; ‘‘he had a lot of Avork to do yesterday, and I dessay the champagne got into his head.” The morning grew on, hut no Angelo ap))eai-cd. Mr. Gumhy hc-camo seriously uneasy, and Avas, moreover, much annoyed at being unable to take a short trij) or two up and doAvn the line of house boats, just to show himself olf, and to see Iioav old .Sharon Avas getting on. In the absence of the gondolier, ItoAvever, this Avas hopeless, for no one else had the faintest idea of managing it, so Mr. Gumby Avas forced to stay on his house boat and conceal his irritation as best he might. Just before tlve racing be- Tlie boats wore now Avithin a fcAV yards of the gondola, and Mr. Gumhy rose to his feet in desperation. The noise oil the shore Avas simply appalling. “Here, j'ou infernal organ-grinder! ” screamed the stockbroker, in a frenzy of agitation. “Andante! piano! I’ianissimo! Ha Capo! Pococurante! Dolce far nicute! Will you get out of the Avay ?'’ But it Avas too late. Just as tho leading eight Avas Avithin a couple of feet of him Angelo turned toAvard his master Avitli a grin, kissed his hand gracefully and took a header overboard. A second later there Avas a terrific crash; Mr. Gumhy Avas shot into the river, and disappeared in the water Avith a terrible howl of anguish. He rose to the surface spluttering and struggling; an oar hit him on (he head, and lie remembered no more. When he came to himself ho Avas lying huddled up in the bottom of a punt. “Oh, you’re alive, arc you ?” said a gnirt' voice. “Sei’A'e you jolly well right if you’d been drun ned, running that ’earse of yourn in the Avay like that!” Mr. Gnmhy rose to liis feet in a dazed numner, and a hotvl of execration greeted him as he did so. He was in a terrible mess. His hat Avas floating doAvii the river, he had lost a shoe, his clothes Avere covered Avith mud and a boat hook had made a huge rent in his trousers. ‘‘Where’s that internal Macaroni?” he gasped. “(iver there,” growled the boatman Avho had fished him out. Mr. Gumhy looked and on the opposite hank he beheld his gondolier Avrlngiijg tho Avater out of Jiis hluo shirt and apparently convulsed Avith lana h ter. “But that isn’t Angelo,” sahl Mr. GumOy, as he realizetl that the person indicated Avas a fair-haired youna man as unlike an Italian as himself. “That's the covo as steered you, anyhow. He’s lost his black Avig in the water!” * * * * In the hack bedroom of a little inn in Henley, the real Angelo Macarotii slept the sound and dreamless sliim- DYNAMITE GUNS. Destructive Engines of American Invention. gau Angolo appeared. H/i sakl s4H«»e> Avirhrh Is the i>ortion only of the thing in Italian, Aviiich liis master took for an apology, and immediately Avont to tho gondola. Macaroni did not appear altogether iu his usual spirits; he‘Hid not show his white teeth so mucha» he generally did, and lie seemed soiueAvhat to avoid meeting Mr. Giimhy’s eyes. “Must liavc been drunk last night,” reflected that gentleman. “It’s a l>langncy nuisance, hut I suppose they all do it.” Racing began, and all eyes Avcrc turned toAvard tho river. Angelo sat silent in the gondola, and appeared hut slightly interested in t he proceedings, hut just before the final heat for the grand challenge he rose to his feet and began to chatter and gesticulate iu Mr. Gumby’s tUrcofiou. “What’s he jaAving about?” asked (hat gentleman of his eldest daughter, who Avas commonly sup[joscd to he able to fathom the recesses of the foreigner’s mind. “He Avants to speak to yon, pa,” he ansAvercd. ‘‘Oh, well, he must come up here; I can’t he bothered hy going into the gondola to him.” “I think you had better go,” urged Miss Gumhy; “these Italians arc so funny and hot tempered. Look, 1^ is getting quite excited.” “So he is,” said Mr. Gnmhy, doubtfully, scanning his mysterious retainer. “Perhaps he Avants to stick a knife into me!” “Gh, nonsense, pa; go and speak to him.” So Mr. Gumby reluctantly left the deck of his house boat, and gingerlv climhcd into the gondola to intervicAV the excited Italian. “Now then, look sharp,” said the stockbroker; ‘‘the boats are coming.” But no sooner had Mr. Gumhy set foot in the gondola than Macaroni ran to the stern of tho boat and cast off tho painter. What are you up to?” cried ^Ir. (inmhy. “Can’t voii see that the boats are coming?’’ But the Italian nindo no sign ; lie shovctl the gondola away from the house boat ami began to propel her right in the course of the advancing eights. SomehoAV he appoaretl to have lost his usual skill; the boat iiro-ceeded in a very erratic ami unsteady fashion, and once or twice it seemed to Mr. (iumby that Macaroni narro Avly csca])ed falling overboard. 'I'lie '¡icopie on the hanks began to notice Ills singular evolutions, ami there were occasional shouts of ‘‘Look ahead!” “Get out of the wav!” etc. Macaroni, lioAvever, ovhlentiA' understood nothing; the gondola aimlessly wobbled about in midstream, and, as the cries of the spectators changed from Avarning to execration, h i smiled amiably and hoAved his ackuowledg-ments. “Why, tho Idiot thinks (ho whole show iigotiip for him!” said (himhv, getting alarmed. “If he doesn't gel out of tho way precious quick Ave shall he run doAvii I” It was too true. Tho racing eights were within fifty yai-ds of them, and a perfect storm of curses rose from tho excited crowd on the banks. Mr. Gumby could hear his owu name attached to extremely micomplinient-ary epithets; everybodv was staring and howling at liim, and he began lu ttuU'ur iMiMiies cf    tAXxux. just and of the helplessly inebriated. —f London Truth. Siiniincr. A lirlft of eweetc, « flash of i-oscs, Mooiili|j;ht over it all (IíhcIu.'H.'S .Siiiuiner tin: sweet is here. Slimmer tho fair, with gohlen hair, AVith lilies broken luicn the ail’, Siiininer tho queeii'of the year. A mossy sweeji, with clover growing. Aiul languid soiinUs ot walei*» flowing, Summer the sweet is hei-e. Summer that lioldeth tciiderncsg best. And eareth for young birds in the nett, Summer the queen of the year. There comes a hum from the dreamy clover. Songs drop down fixim birds that float over, Sninmor the sweet Is here. She tuketh all luulhcrlcss things in her arms. And foldeih tncm out fi-oin chill alarms. Summer the queeen ot the year. Send down thy measure of sweetness U)mu us, in its fullest eoinpleteuesi, Summer the queen of the year! Let us chant to the pulse of tb ' sea. AVith song down dropping ami hum ot bee, Summer the sweet is here! —.leiinia Maxwell I'ainc. A Truhtlnic M'lfe. [N. Y. Sun.] “I don’t mine your going out of an evening occasionally Avith your friends to play i>okcr, dear,” she said. “Y'on Avork hard all day and need some recreation, hut do you think avc can afford to lose inoiicy just uoav ? Baby needs a liCAV pair of shoes, and ” “Oh, I can’t lose any iiionqi; to speak of,” he interrupted. “It’s just a iriend-ly little game for aimiseineut, you know. It’s limited to $2.” “Oh, if your loss is limited to $2 during the evening it is not a serious matter. I thought, perhaps you might lose more.” “No, it’sa)t!2 limit game,” he replied, looking fixedly at a picture on the wall, “just a little game for amuse-mtmt, you knoAV.” “Well, good bv. Vou’ll bo home early, Avon't yon ?’’ “Oh, yes; I'll be homo early.” And he was home early—early in the morning. And what the lady doesn’t know about a $2 limit game of poker would make a very bulky paekagc. TIioiiKlit tito .AlitiiHler Was Joking. lSvrucu»e llernld.j ‘‘My l)oy, Avliut are yon tloiiig Avitli that cigar in your moiilh? Throw the filthy thing awav,” said a clerical looking man to a boolhlaek Avho stood near the Globe Hotel pulling a elgar. Tho urchin looked up at the man Avith un injured air, then shaking his head, said: “Nuav ycr don’t. I’m on to that trick'. That’s Avhat the kids tell me when I’m flii'^h and smokin’ a two-fer, so they can pick It up. Itiit Avheii a lad eun’t take a smoke Avithoiit an old elia]i liki‘ yon Avantin’him to troAv it iiAvay, (hen there’s a ease for pity.” Hcaehing into his lux ketthe len *v-olcnj hoy brought forth throe teiils, saying as ho held them out to the abashed gontlomau: “Here, take tliem coppers and buy one for yersclf, but don’t ask urn again.” 'I'ho dozen or moro men and bovs Avho had collected around the pair shouted dcrlhivel turned and Avalkcf^ V as tho aAvav. minister rr^valcnee of Kblney C'omplnint lu America; “Buubu-paiha” U u qulek, complete cure. $1. There is good ground for believing that this countrA’, Aviiieh has niaile many valuable contributions to modern artillery, is about to add another in demonstrating the practicability of throAving shells charged Avith dynamite instead of gunpoAvdcr. Experiments for (liis puriiosc have long been going on in many countries, those comlnctcd in Russia being perhaps specially notiocablc. But Avhat-evcr iircliminary degree of succc;ss may liaA’e attended the European cx-periincnts most of tlicm have ended futilely or disastrously. Here in America, liOAVCAcr, íavo entirely dis-tinet devices haA'e been invented for avoiding the main danger, namely, that the dynamite projectile will cx-l»lodc liefore leaving the gun. These devices are still the subject of experiment, and, it must further be said, they are thus far very restricted in their 8i>lieros of operation. Ncvo'-tho-less, they liUA’c already attained .such adegrcc of sueeess as to make dynamite projectiles a certainty of the future. The first of these devices, and the most elaborate one, is tho imcumatic gun. This Aveaimn, underllie siiperiu-lendcnee of army officers, lias vcpeat-eilly throAvn projectiles charged Avith fifteen or sixteen liounds of dynamite of the liighcst strength a distance of more than a mile under the propiil-sía’c jioAA'cr ot comiiresscd air. The resort to compressed air Avas made on the theory that some loss violent agency than gniipowder Avas needed for the safe use of dynamite in the iirojectilc. Aeoord-iiigly a gun tube of only four inches bore is made more than forty feet long, in order that the full exitnlf>ive pOAverof the sloAvIy acting comincssod air may he utilized. This long barrel requires a truss Avork to support it, and there are, of course, an engine and reservoir for compressing the air, and ])¡i>es and valves for comlueting it into the barrel heliind the iirojectile. This projectile Is provided Avith a Avoodcn sabot and an air space at tho t‘nd of the dynamite cartridge acts as a cusltion against tlic sitock ofdlseliurgo. In such matters it is the first step that costs. If a fonr-incli gnu can safely tliroAv its sixteen pounds of dynamite, it is elearly jHissihle to make an eight-inch gun Avhicli shall tliroAV 00 or 100 pounds of dynamite; and in like manner the oOO pounds’ pressure of eomprcsseil air employed can aj)-parently he increased to 1,000 or 1,000 Itouiids to the square inch. All this implies the use ot a very formidable exjilosive projectile. The other device for employing dynamite shells is still more ambitious, and not less interesting, since it proposes to expel them Avltli poAvdcr charges from ordinary cannon. This it docs hy making the projectile very long, anti giving it, besides the sabot, a ruhhor hnfi'er, so constructed as to act like a eiislilou against the poAvder charge. In tiiis Avay tlynumitu shells have actually been fired fromortlinary poAvdcr guns. Nevcrllieless, as the enargcs thus far, both of i>oAvder for expelling the shell and of ilyiiamitc in the sJiell itself, have been exceedingly light, and as a gun to be generally useful must not be thus limited, this question ot Aviietliertho projectile itself can he made to contain all tho required elements of safety against ilynilmite explosion demamls further expciimcnt. li only remains to say that CA'cn the pneumatic gun can not possibly su-l>ersedc poAvder guns or diminish the need of heavy ortlnance. It is simply an iiisirnment for projecting torpedoes, and never yet has roaclieil a range of over a mile and a quarter. Compressed air is never likely to give a ranire of over tAVo and a halt or throe miles, ami hence it is perfectly ohvluns that the fate of a city could he decided hy poAvder guns carried in a lleet far ontsule of this range. If, on the other hand, compre>»ed air gniis Averc sent out on toiqiedo bouts or other vessels, as they easily eon Id he, ilicy Avuuhl he tinder lire from long range gnus for a great tlislunce before they could reply. Divested of uhsiird claims or cx-peetations, the iicav invoulion sho avs that very destrmtive charges of dynamite may he safely thrown hy air .iiin^, Avilh a fair tlt'gree of aei tirai-y as to tlirection, over a range of fn in a mile and a half to (aa o miles. This is a memuruhlu resnit, limited though it be, for there must uIavu) s he im-l>orlaiit uses fitr such Aveajtuns. l*ar-itcularly imitortant to our country is the cuiisidcration that these torpedo throAvers conhl he eonstrncted Avilh great rapidity, in ease of need, by any Avell C(ini{)peil machine shop, and at a trilling exiieiise. A lioveni* Qiinrrcl. In'o tho tilt of love’s Imrht nieas'.irc Tlioro has crcpt a ciirioiw jar nml half. It «lot's not jcive I1.S tho saino sweet iiloasurc, Unt I have ko|«t tmio—it is not iny fault. AA lien you siriick your false chonU I winre«l aad Istn: it; You tiirnoii the wrong eages nut then blaniad III!'; You skiimctl whole bars when we tricil togoo’o And now we are hoi>ck s>ly out of key. And you nre |ienitent, dear, ainl roa>ly To Irv tin: whole nudody once ajiaiii; But I am worn out, and my hand tinstcarly; I tell you I can not go over the strain, M v nerves ar • unstrung and my lie.nl is we.aij; 1 have lost all interest and <l«» not care; ton mii.-t niav it alone—if the task is dreary. AVhy, just i-eiiiember who spoilci tlie air. AVhnt fearful diseords we make in closing— Tliongli our touch was iicrfect when wc be-Ciin; The |n«;ce is worthy of a ¡tod's comiiosing. But'lis hndly reinlcred always bv innu. I i>laye«l my unit with (xiwcraml iiassion. And now I am «lone with thaidiiel; But you ran through it in iillc fadiioii— Vou’ll iday it better with some one vet. —Klla \\ heeler. CUKRENT FL'N. A little oil on the hinges of flio front gate has a tcndeney to relievo insomnia.—[I’ittsburgChroniole-Iler-ald. Don’t buy a coach in order to plcaso your Avifo. It is inucli clieapcr to make her a little sulky.—[Clticago Sun. Ahvays marry a blne-eycd or black-eythl AvoTTian, as they only rcqiiiro another color put on.—fI’iltsbnrg Herald. Somebody Avants to got a grind on me—as the dull scissors remarkiHl AvJicn they refused to cut.—[The Judge. Patti Avore    Avorih of tlia- moiids on the stage reccnlly. Sho must ho AA hat Mrs. .Malaprop Avotibl call a Avalking “Golgailia.”—[LoavcH (.'oiiricr. What a folly it is for one to com-jilaiii that his stomach troubles him, Avhcn, as everybody knows, it is ho Avho tionbles liis stomach.—[lioaton Transcn'iit. It is saiil that Faint Heart never Avon fair lady, and avc have itj'roiu some married men that iu llial matter Faint Heart is to bo oomgralu-latrd.—CHv Derrick. The exerelse of careful ignorance is safer than the jn-omptings of reckless gciiins. IIoAvevei-, as llicrc is very little genius of any kind tlie country ¡8 conijiaratively safe.—[ArkansaAV Traveler. When adversity OA'ertakes a man, lii.s father and mother, his brothers and sisters may baA'c no use for him ; but he-AA ill havetolic very poor indeed before his kind old uncle fails to greet him Avilli a sunny smile.—[Texas Siftings. Judging by the advance shipments, this is to he a gi*eat year for gootl Ava-tornielons. Witli a bottle of Janiait-a ginger in a c«)iivcnionr place, and a fat and juicy Georgia’melon in front of him, a bold fruit lover ought to bo reasonably luQipy.—[Boston Herald. A ncAVS item says: “The latest demand among eccentric fasliiunahlcs is for artificial eyes to he Avorn as covers oA'er their own, changing tlto color at Avill.” A greater need among eccentric lasitionables is an artificial nose to be Avoru over their oavii, thus enabling the wearer to change tho color at Avill.—[NorristoAvu Herald. He Hrttl rii>v»K'nti«>n. (Ni'W York Grapliu'.] “I am a base ball player,” said tho prisoner to the Judge. ‘‘I'll tell you lioAv it happened.” “(¡oon, sir.’’ “I Avas at tho bat. There Avero three men on bases. I asked for a loAV ball and reached back to striko, but it Avasn’t Avherc I Avaiited it. Tlien this man—” “Hold on, sir. Who do you alindo to as this man ?'’ “The cori>se, of course. Then this man shouted ‘I'uiil and out.’ ^Then I brained him.” “Who did you say he Avas?” “Hii Avasthe umpire.” “Oh, I beg your par«lon. You arc discharged, sir. The elerU aa ill enter the eo>ts against the lato umpire’s estate.” WIioiA    l>lKaar«*o it Avill be lime enough to iloubt the relia-bility of Kidney-Wort. lA x tors all agrco that It ÍH a most valunlde nnilicino in all disonlers of the liver, kidneys ami lK)wels, and lVe«uioidly presi i il«o il. Dr.’l*. Ballon, of Moiikton, s.iys: “ The jiast year 1 liave used it more tlian ever, ami with the best results. It is the most Riieiessfnl reiui'dy I have ever ww-d.” Huch ii iTconi-inomtal ion s|)eaks a»!' iteell. >okl by all ilragiiUls. !>e« a»tvt. I'kiually Unique nml Sensible. I lloHtuii (¡lobo.) A great many reas'Jii* liave l)ceu given bv foreigners for coming to America to live, • l)ut not one of them has bi'eu more unique I t)r mori snmdhle ttinii tiiat which has niovisl Professor lliehartl Proctor to take un tiis ni)otle In tin I’ullcd tales. Ho wnnU to havo his olilldren e«liicoUsl under th' tuflu- Effeellvo Foicen In C'uinpaiKiiH. [Chicago Inter Ocean.I To solvo the problem of ctloctlvo forces iu tho control of campaigns woiiUl be to uo ■    Pnltcd away with the ueccsslty of cainpalgus. havo his olilldren e«l The means now emidoyed to that end are, ■    American    institutions. lioAvevcr, valuuble »|>urs to duty in the keeping alive tho consciousness of that i    IMIo    Tumnre, duty. They are like the ortlers ol an army ' however large, si>ee<Bly and painlessljr S'tot.    cur.K.wl.hou.k„ir,..c.u..loo,..lv.,. inovtHl ugalnit that enemy    well    abreast in    six cents m ttanu»* for immphlet, r< fer- good marching    order.    cnees and roidy. \\ »rhl s r    -    leal Association, tiUi Main slnil, Bnlialo, “Rough on DonllkC* Tootu Powder. Try it. i N. Y. ito.    ’

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