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Ohio Cincinnati Weekly Times Newspaper Archives Apr 29 1986, Page 1

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Cincinnati Weekly Times (Newspaper) - April 29, 1986, Cincinnati, Ohio Vol. Xmi.——TVo. 17.CIXCITVTV^'TI, THURSDAY,    SO,    1880. ^1 I*er Year, An Easter Custom. BY T. L. R. I met hfr Ea-ter morning In the old catnedral aisle. And, early at the service, She gave mo u t>uw ami emile. The sexton old had vanished, The organist nelccp; I asked if ancient cusióme It were not well to keen. “Oh. yes,” she pravclv answered; ••To wliioh ilovoii referí” •• ’Tibone the Orecks now practice; ’Tia pleasing, 1 aver.” •H)h! something quaint and and olden? And could we do it here?” Slyly 1 glanced alwut us, And saw no one was near. “I think we mi.'ht.” 1 answered; For how could 1 rcsi»*.? I wonder If the preaclicr Knew some one nud been kissed. —[Boston Folio. NOTES AND NEWS. Kate Field ia In Wuhliinglon, John K. Owens has entirely recorered Henry Walierson sails for Europe May 1. Mr. Tilden says his health is much im proved. There is a “Caudle 1/ight Society” at Dixon, lil. Theiue isstill nearly three feet thick in Lake Champlain, (fc Corner loungers arc leniently called “sons 01 rest” in Dayton. Zukertort is plavini in chess tournaments in San Francisco. In the D.strict of Colninhia there are 20, 000 more wuinen than in>;n. Agnyapi biniyanna tuku waibuyeca cgnakapi is the Sioux ior pic. There «re f<*nr weekly Chinese newspapers prin'cd in San Francisco. The delivery of the second volume of Grant’s bonk will begin .May 10. “Going tVcst to enlarge lengthwise” is a new reading of the Greeloy injunction. Y, M.C. A. ill SpringU .‘Id, Ohio, stands for Young Men’s Cocklightlng Association. The Art Association ol Nashville reports a membership of 190 and a small balance hi the treasnri. Bronson Howard and wife sail for England early next month, where they will pass the snminer. A Chicago (lopcorii man calls those kernels that do not pop and that can not be pop|.ed, “old maids.” Sampson Low, the oldest publisher in London, died the other day in the eighty-ninth year of bis age. Only $16.000 of the $100.000 needed %s thus far been subscribed for the new gymnasium at Y'ale College. An equestrian statue of General Meade will soon bo erected in Fairmount i’ark, Philudelphio. It will cost $25,000. The payroll of B^irnuin’s circus is $7,000 per day'and the highest daily receipts were $17,000 during a Boston engagement. The man who Is mean eiisugb to rob the poor box of a church turns out to be a Jur-leyman. He was caught in the act at Elizabeth. If a box six feet deep were filled with sea water and allowed to evaporate under the sun, there would be two iuobes of salt left on the bottom. Clara Louise Kellogg says she has “no present intention ot retiring from the itage.” She will spend the summer in £u rope, at Aix les Bains. Hon. Erustus Brooks delivered a memorial address on tho life, character and services of ex-Governor Horatio Seymour before the New York lygislature. Among the pictures burned at the Penn* ■ylvaoia Academy was a St. Bebastiap called a Murillo, valued at $80,000 and a painting by Washington Allston. The sons of Wm. II. Vanderbilt bave given $250,000 to the College of Pbytioiane and Surifeons, New York, lor tbe erection of a building in honor of their father. A single block in the vicinitv of Cattle Garden, and which is about 125 bjr 800 feet, contains no less than thirty .five saloons, or bouses where llquoia can be obtained. Messrs. J. D. Rockafeller, of New York, and J. B. Iloyt, of Conuectlcut, have each subscribed $30,000 toward paying off the Baptist Home Missionary Sooiety’e debt of $140,000. John Wright, a noted thief catcherin the mountains of East Tennessee, has killed thirty-thrce men in the last twenty years. All of them were Killed in selbdefense while he was in pursuit of criminals. The inielligeiit compositor displayed m.)rs than ordluary intcllicence when he set up “bowels,” instead of “vowels” in the following phrase: "A, e, i, o, u and y are tho bowels of ihe English language.” About 1,000 soldiers of the Salvation Army will sail for London on the Assyrian Monarch, which leaves New York, May 13. Thev are going to England to attend the “Worldwide Gathering ot Salvationists.” Officially iliere is no e ich city as Washington, D. C. A city by that name was once chartered by Congress, but the charter was reiiealed severni years ago. The capital of tbe United States is the District of Columbia, «11 parts of which are alike governed O'i Pctly by Congross through com-mitsioiiers.JOHN HARVEY’S MISTAKE. BY MRS. CATHERINE WALLACE. Ill '« bleeping Cur. Wr, J. r, Koach, Assistant Buperinleiul-enl cf the New York Central Sleeping Car Company, writes from Buffalo, N. V “ -m«i ho 8Uflur.«l ÍIVUH -    i u . I -.. cold 80 fit-vcre that he could not speak above a wlilsp- r. A bottle of lied Star Cough Cure made a tborough and pennunoni euro. This reinetiy hns no mineral poiwius, or huitfiil oDlates, is Mile and sure a^d costs only tweniy-f ve cents a bottle.    ^ A life was passing away; softly and gently it was gliding into eternity. No eminent physician watched its decay, no wealth eased its painful joltings along the road to death; yet no word passed Clara Lester’s lips, no traitorous cry that her burden was greater than she could bear came from her loyal heart. Pain had traced many a wrinkle on her fair forehead, but her brows had never been drawn together in angry impatience. Bel Urnffion, loving her sister devotedly, and tending her daily, was kept in ignorance of her danger, and never suspected the slenderness of her hold on life. Bel only saw that Clara was youiig and beautiful and delicate. Yes, she was delicate; but then Clara had been delicate from licr childhood, and einee that dreadful morning wlicn news came to them tliat the steamship “Cawnporc” had been wrecked off the Amcncan coast, and Captain Lester’s name had ap-pcared ainongthc passengers drowned or missing, his young bride, Clara I„cslcr, liad, as Margaret expressed it, never raised licr head. Death and her sister were, Iiowcver, never associated in Bel Urinson’fl mind. Clara was delicate, and that was all. Three years had run their course since the wreck of tho “Cawnpore,” and Captain Lester had never come back to his wife; and iioiv, she whispered to herselt’, sho was going to liiin. Before Bel had attained her eigli-teenth year she was engaged to be married to Lieutenant Hey wood, a young officer in the—tb Hussars; but a inisundcrstanding had arisen between tliem, and (hey had parted. Clara used to say to her: “I am sure there is only some foolish mistake between von, and some day Lieutenant Heywood will come back to yon, and cvcrvtliing will be explained.” But Bel had laughed scornfully at Clara’s prophecy, and refused’ to place any confidence in it. Her dis appointment hail shaken her faith in human goodness and integrity, and she became suspicious, reticent and sarcastic. But gradually Clara Lester’s influence effected a cliaiige; and two years lalcr Bel Urmson had learned to love again, and was once more engaged to be niarrieil. One morning Bel was seated on a low stool by her sister’s conch, her chin resting on her hand and hereyes gazing vacantly on the floor. She had been silent a long time, when suddenly she spoke. “I thought John ought to know that I had loved beiore, and so I told him the story of my love. Was I right ? —and she turned her dark, haudsome face to her sister, while her glorious brown eyes seemed to repeat the tion, “Was I right?” “Quite right,” Clara answered; “yon have only forestalled the advice I intended to give you to-dar. And he, Bel—what did Mr. Harvey say?” A blush cropt up to the gii I’s’cheeks, and her eyelids droojied for an ia-stant as she said: “I don’t think he liked it, Clara—he looked so disappointed; but he said very little. I do love him and he has no cause for jealousy. But he is jealous—jealous as Othello I”—and, with a light careless laugh, she turned away, “I am sore Bel does not love him,” the sister murmured, squeezing her ffngers tegether in agony at the thought. “I have come earlier than usual” said John Harvey, who now entered. “The fact Is, I have received a telegram from my father, informing me of his arrival in England, and requesting my immediate presence in Southampton, because, as ho expresses it, he is not so well. 1 do not suppose it is anything serious; nevertheless, I am obliged to leave Button to-night” *T am so sorry,” Clara said. “I hope you will find him better. John,” she continued, leaning over and laying her hand on his, “rayllte is so iiii-certain, I may never see you again. Don’t start-the thought is not new to me. Promise me-1 will not ask you to swear it, for a man’s word should be binding as his oath—but promise me now, before I die, to be alwavs kind to Bel.” Startled and surprised tliougli ho was, without a luomcut’s hesUatioii he answered: “I promise. To the utmost of my power I will be good to yourdarling; I promise.” “Thank you,” she murmured, as her sister and the nurse made their appearance; “and now, if you will take Bel away. Margaret shall help me to niy room. Good-by, John.” He shook hands with her, oxprcss-ng a hope that wlien ho rcfiirned he should liinl her stronger. Then he niid Bi‘l walked io the siual] ji’oji gale which divided Mr. rA*:!“r’“ .‘."‘••'“"“■C garden from Butloii Common, and pausing there, he asked: “Bel, will you write to mo while I am away ?”l,„rt been cr,-n~;’ (,„,y „ mouth, and this was their first separation; nevertheless sho answered with warm derision t “No, you will live ou my lettc<rs, and be in uo hurry to come batt k to inc.” That sair.t night Clara Lester found ques‘ the release for which she had so long waited. ♦ * ♦ “I will never listen to any of Bel’s mad projects again,” was John Har vey’s mental rosolution as he stepped out upon the pJatforra of Sutton Station. “I have been only a fortnight away, and it seems an age since 1 bade her good-by at the gate.” As he approached the cottage his attention was attracted by the figme of a gentleman walking before him— he was the stranger who had spoken to the porters at Sutton Station. He was several yards in advance of John Harvey,not walking in the desultory, purposeless manner ol a stranger, but like one who, having an object to accomplish, was already in view of the goal for its attainment. “A fine tellow?” was John’s solil oqu)’. “I wonder who he is, and where he is going?” Almost in answer to the query the stranger pushed open the gate of the Homo Cottage, and entering, closed it behind him. In a few seconds more John Harvey gained the gate, and pausing outside, looked once again on the dear familiar scene. The fine old chestnut spread out its branches in the sun light, and yielded the same cool shcl ter under its leaves which it had yielded a fortniglit before; but Clara’s couch was no longer there. Only the small rustic tabic and wide garden seat were there; and on a low chair beside the table, her face buried on her crossed arms, was Bel Urmson. The stranger had walked silently and unnoticed across the green sward, and standing within a few yards of her, was attentively regarding her. The girl raised her head and looked at him, and then, grasping the back of her chair, slowly rose to her feet. Witti a little cry of joy she ran to him, and he folded her in his arms and kissed lier. She did not shrink from his caresses; on the contrary, she put her arms around his neck and kissed him. Gently and tenderly he led her to the garden scat; and, seated there, their voices became an indistinct murmur to John Harvey, and he licard no more. “I know him now,” he muttered between his clenched teeth, “Lienf. Heywood—the old lover—curse him 1” With the iinprocation still on his lips, he turned his back on the scene of his happiest hours. Ten o’clock was slrikin^ when .John Hanrey returned to “The Griiiin,” and half an hour later he had left Sutton forever. Two days after his departure Bel Urmson held in her hands a letter from him, a letter bidding her farewell, and telling her that7though he could not but gratefully appreciate her endeavor to love hinri, yet, knowing as he did know, that sho had never forgotten her first love, he had decided to adopt the only course left •pen to him and go awav. With a pale face and trembling fingers Bol road the letter; she then folded it up and locked it away in her desk. * ♦ * * ♦ * At ten minutes to 9 o’clock on the morning of the ^th of June, live years after Mrs. lAiStcr’s death, the bell over the porch of tho village school at Chippendale, rang out its summons. Ding-dong, ding-dong, ficaleil along High street from end to end; over the playground rolled tlic rusty tones, and the children stopped their plar as they recognized the familiar “iron tongue,” and with one accord hastened to the door. Boys and girls rushed together, pusliiug, langhing, shouting, striking out at each other as one or the other gained a momentary advantage in the race to be first in school. “Good morning, children 1” The voice was full and pleasant, and the smllc broadened into a grin OH the little faces as the speaker left lier desk and came toward them. She had a word and a smile for each, for it was the opening day ot school atter the paidsummer holidays, and rules were* relaxed and a little license permitted by even so strict a disciplinarian as Bel Urmson. Yes, she was Miss Urmson still—not quite the same Bcl ol five years before, for sorrow and care had washed tho roses from her clicek;bnt no one, gazing on her pale, beautiful lace, ever doubted the fact that her spinstor-hood was maintained from choice. She was standing up, tho children gathered round her preparatory to their Giniissal at noon, when the door opened, and the Vicar of Chippendale entered, followed by a gentleman. “Good morning, Miss Urmson,” he said, shaking hands with her, and nodding to the children. “I am glad you have not dismissed your scholars, as I wished my Jricnd to see them. 1 can not myself stay to give him any information about them; but if you will kindly furnish him with any par-liciilars lie may desire, I shall ted obliged. Mr. llarvey,Miss Urmson.” Startling and unexpected as tiie meeting was, Bcl did not lose her ‘rIf-posscsMiVn. TÍi(f ‘’•bhlcst. slilTest inclination of her head acknowledged the iiitroduelion, then she tiirncd asido and remained sHeiit, with a l iiuriiirr ¡i) ]iei‘ oai's that almost deafened her and a mist before her eyes which blinded her to overytliiiig save Uie face ot John Harvey. Bnt presently sho saw by thcehildrcn’s movements that the viear was leaving, she heard his retreating footsteps, and, after a pause, she raised horliead ami said: “Children, you may go.” Quietly and decorously they trooped out of the room, but not until their footsteps had died away did she turn to John Harvey. “Why have you come here?” she asked. “I certainly did not come with anv idea that 1 ehould see you,” he replied. “I think I need hardly assure you, that had I known of vour presence here, I should have avoided coming to Chippendale altogether.” “Then you still shun me?” “I would. It is the wisest, the onlv course I can pursue.” She was silent, debating within licrself whether to bid him go and pursue the same course again, or to detain him and ask for an explanation of the letter still locked away in her desk. It was moro dignified, more consonant with herself esteem to send liim away, but her weak, loving, womanly nature rebelled against the putting aside of probable happiness. “You sent me a letter some years ago,” sho began, hesitating and blushing like a guilty child. “I never un-, deislood it; will you explain It to me now ?” He looked at her and smiled. What coquettes all women aroj And Bel, beautiful Bel, was as Ikkle as the rest. She had wavered hetweeu the old and new love years ago when he had gone away and left her to be true; and now ho found her still nn married, working, struggling for her daily bread, and desiring to win him back, a desire as despicable as it was futile. “By-gonesarc best left to slumber,” he said. “I will wish you good morning.” “Don’t go,” she said gcntl)’. “Tell me what you meant.” “AVhen Lieutenant Heywood came back to claim his own, what could ~ do but abdicate ?” “Lieutenant Heywood!” she repeated, knitting her brows in perplexity. “I have not seen him.” “Perhaps not lately,” he said and laughed. Then, becoming suddenly grave, he continued: “I wish you would try to understand me without forcing me to be more explicit.” “Speak plaiiil}'. I have nothir.g to fear in any rcvclatiou you may make.” Proudly, fearlessly her eyes met his, and for the first time there dawned on him the possibility that he had been mistaken in the identity of Lieutenant Heywood; but no, that was not possible. NoverthcleM his manner softened as he said: ^ Then listen. On the Thursday that I promised to return to Sutton, did return. At ‘The Griffin’ I heard of Mrs. Lester’s death, and I hurried to the cottage, rny heart filled with tenderness and love for you; but some one preceded me thither—a young, good-looking man, with the unmistakable military stamp upon him. He went to you and I paused at the gate and saw you meet him. I didn’t blame you, child; to be true to him you had to be false tome; but,” with a flickering smile, “jKirhaps you know I was very jealous, even from the first, of Lieutenant Heywood.” It was long since Bel. Urmsou’s face had worn so hapjiy and blissful a smile. “It was not Lieutenant Hovwood who came to me that evening, hut my brother-in-law, Captain Lester.” “Captain Ixssterl Ho was drowned beiore I met yon.” “So we thought; but we were mistaken. He was picked up by an African coasting vessel ana carried to Loango, ami thence to several places on the Congo. He was kept a prisoner for nearly three years, and,” with a little shudder, “I can not tell you all tlie cruelties they made him Buficr. Finally he eifocted bis escape, and landed in England a fortnight after Clara died.” Her voice shook a little, and she paused. “Do you blame me now P” she asked, and then broke down in a wailing, [dteous cry. “John, forgive me, for I liave always been true in my love for you.” “My poor love!” ha whispered.— [Ballou’s Monthly. The Trout Rod on tbe Wall. BY JAMES H. IIOAOLBV. This «lender rod of mine; Tills delicate ink line, And the creel; Thin landing net, iliete Aim Ol every «linpe and sIac: VVitli the reel, Now hanging on the wsll, huch nieinories recall Of the pnet; That I live them o’er again, And i-ejolce as 1 did wni-n 1 inauc u cuHt. I ;im onco more a boy— I feeln ilirill of loy At »l;o Bight Of the Bparklliig inmintnin brook Wlicrc I cn»t the tciniiting hooi. Stepping light. I can'gee the ^hadv pool, Umlerneoth the alders eool— Rending o'er, fipccksof foHin nliove nn cddv, tirclmg round with inotioii rleady To the uliore. Now I sec the licantv rise, Afi the iirtillciul flies ^ti'LLullui ■•OOtf 1 can lienr the water Ijoil And the crazy reel uncoil From the einml. Ah! he’s ont upon the bank! And tha 8|)cck« niion his Hank— How tlicysliiiie! Oh! none but ungiera Know Wliv my I’jcD with tears o'crllow, Ag I think of days gone bv Of llie rod, and reel, hiuI ily. And the line, Wc know whereof wo speak when we «ay Salvaliou Dll lieeiroye palo. I’rici 25 cents. An A..:oiiishnd Arab. One of the British officers, who happened to have a glass eye, tvas one day examining a prisoner, a zealous follower of the Maluli. “Whv do you believe in the Malidi ?” asked tne officer. “I believe in him,” replied the man, “because ho can work miracles.” Tho officer iinuiedialcly took out his glass eye, tossed it up hi the air, caught it, and put it back in its place. “D’ve think the Mahdi could do that?” iie asked. The man was appalled, and couldn’t say another word. Tost of a College CoiirsR. At Harvard College the authorities deem that |181 per year is the extreme iniuiuium ou which a studcul can exist; to be economical, $592 is Bunting a Hat. [New York Tribune.] Track walkers, railroad hands and some laborers in the vicinity of Tarrytowii were kept in a state of excitement on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday by the mysterious and persistent inquiries of three New York detectives about a black Derby hat. It was said to have been lost from a train, but tho track men were so pestered about it that they thought it must at least be a murder case that was being fathomed. The hat was found in the possession of a track walker late on Friday. Liberal rewards had been offered for its recovery by tlie detectives, and when it was passed into the hands of the leader he iplunged his liund into the leather lining and in a moment brought out a sheet of note paper, partly written over and ornamented at the top with a magnificent crest. “It’s good for the five hundred, hoys,” W’as all he said as he handed the lucky finder $10 and distributed an-$10 among the men who had interested themselves in the search. A Tribune reporter who came down on the train yesterday with the detectives gathered from their talk among themselves (hat the fate of two families liung on the recovery of that hat and tho letter inside. It was a note from a married woman to a married man. He was coming from Tar-rytown to New York, and in stepping from one of the cars into tho smoker while the train was in motion, his hat was blown off. The consequence of the discovery of the letter, with its tcll-talc crest, induced him to send lor, a detective and offer $500 for its recovery. The Rooinoraiiip aMyili. Mr. Bariium says that he has wasted $5,000 on boomerang throwers. “You’ve heard of Australian biishmeu,” he said, “who have weapon made of a bent slick that tlioy throw with wonderful skill, liitting the prey unerringly, the boomerang returning of itself to fall at tho feet of the marksman ? I had an aiient go from London to the wilds of New South Wales; hiit he writes me that the accounts are two-thirds lies, and the remaining third isn’t worth bring ing away. The boomcreiig is a fact, and the native Australian savages fling it at game—missing about as often as hitting; and it will return,if it strikes nothing to somewhere near Uie starting point, but with no sei4 of certainty. My man searched thoroughly, and witnessed the feats of the best experts to be found, bnt they amounted to nothing in particular. The famous boomerang is practically a myth.”_ A fitone Giant at Tatiipit, [Tiimna (Florida) Tribune.] While digging in the mound back of the garrison yesterday evening in search of Indian relics some gentlemen discovered a petrified Indian giant—as natural as if chiseled from a solid block of granite by a masterly hand, and free from a single blemish except an indentation on the thigh made by Uie pick. In close proximity were a number of flint arrowheads and other implements of Indian warfare. A stone jar was also discovered under tho giant’s head, which, upon being'opencd, was found to contain a calumet, a lot of brass jewelry, and a number of copper and Spanish gold coins, which were black with time’s corroding breath. The discovery has created <^uite a stir. The value of the gold com, as near as can be ascertained, is about $2,300—quite a snug liNie sum for these hard times. Dr. Uolmeo in a New Role. [Chicago Living Church.] The venerable Dr. Peabody, of Harvard, is noted for his benevolence. One warm day in summer he was coming into Boston from Cambridge. He had just left the horse car and was hurriedly turning the sharp corner near tho Revere House, when he came near colliding with an old gentlemen. The elderlv looking individual stood with his iiat off iviping the lerspiration from his brow, but he icld his hat in such a position as to give tho appearance that he was begging. Dr. Peabody, seeing only the hat, dropped a quarter into it with his customary kind remark. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, who was holding tho hat, put tho quarter into his pocket, solemnly thanked Dr. Pcaboily, and passed on. essential; to be moderate, $812; while $1,360 is classed as very liberal. A somewhat similar scala of expenses obtains at Yale, life at these institutions being about equally costly. At Princeton, Columbia, Cornell, Ann Arbor, etc., the cost is jierhaps 30 per cent less. Tobihanna Bears. [.Scranton (Pa.) Truth.] Mr. William Case, proprietor of the hotel at Tobyhauna, recently seta trap, and a few days later a few of his friends who were surveying in the woods found the trap with a large boar in it. He was a savage cuss, aud the men had uo weapons save a small hatchet. They hewed down a few saplings, which made pretty stout clubs, and with these aud the hatchet they dispatched the critter. They then skinned bruin and replaced him in tho trap. When Case next visited lils trap he was astonished to find a skinned boar in it. He was a little mad at first, but the joke was explained to him and all was right. “Why, the Tobyhauna region is full of bears,” said the hunter. “Mr. Case ha.s frequently got ou the trail of one cuss who can stand on his hind legs and bite oft'a sapling seven and one-halt feet high. “But the funniest bear I know of is one in that neighborhood that can read English plainly. An old Pocono Mountain hunter named Bailey got on tlie trail of a very wily bear aud tried hard to capture him. He used up about 150 iKiuuds of good meat in setting his trap, but bruin would paw around until he’d sprung the trap and y discovered that then walk off. Bailey when the be# came to the trap he would walk around it several times beiore he would venture in. He hit upon a plan that ho thought would surely outwit his bcarship. He set liis trap on the outside ot the little shed of saplings which covered the meat, tliinking that ill snooting around the place Mr. Bear would ‘put foot in it.’ Fearing that some linntcr would accidentally step into the trap he wrote a warning on tho pa]>er in which he carried the meat to the woods, and tacked it to a tree near by. It read: ‘“Luok out lor the trap set outside.' “In a day or two lie went to the place to see the result of his little strategy, and to his surprise found the trap sprang and the meat gone. He-looked at the tree, and to his utter disgust fouud where the bear had contemptuously chewed off the warning not ce, and [fragments of the papar wore scattered over the ground. Tom Corwin’s Hradj Repartee. lIxMiiHVille Conrior-Journal.j John C. Calhoun once pointed to a drove of mules jnst from Ohio, and said to Corwin: “There go some of your constituents.” “Yes,” said Tom gravely, “they are going down South to teach school.” Governor Brough was once matched against Corwin, and in the midst of liis speech said : “Gentlemen, my honored opponent himself, while ho preaches advocacy of home industry, has a carriage at home which ho got in England—had it ship])cd across the ocean to him. How is that for supporting homo industry and labor?” When Corwin came on the stand lie made a great show of embarrassment, stammered, and began slowly: “Well, gentlemen, you have heard what niy friend Mr. Brough has to say of my carriage. I plead guilty to [8 is He Took Her Hand. BT«. C. I took her hand. We Mt at play, And q«it« alone, at close of day. She was a modest maiil, and lair. And wore a wealth of sunny nalr, As all the race ot poets say. Ureat joy was mine: I had to stay. And in the rhance ot drawinz share. I smiled, and (elt exceeding gay, Because I polled another pair— 1 took her hand. And viewed the fonr Wx aces there! My hopes dissolveil in empty air— Tho rouid who “wished to learn to play,’^ 1 didn’t like her winning wav; A box of gloves it coet me there— Her little bandl 1 took her hand. She, at my side. In or-ange hlossoms stood, a bride. I’ll ne’er forget that ace oaartettc— The dimple<l darling holds them yet. Before the single s|iota I wince. Because she has plared them ever since 1 took her band! -[Tidbits. CURRENT FÜN. the charges, and have only two tliia] to say In my defense. Tiio first that the carriage came to me from au English ancestor as an heirloom, and 1 hatl to take it. Again, I have not used it for seven years, and it has been standing in my back yard all that time, and the chickens have converted it into a roost. Now, gentlemen,” with a steady look at Brough, “I have nothing further to say in my defense; but I would like to know how Brough knows anything about my carriage if he has not been visiting my chicken roost.” The SugariiiAkcr’e.Rcvenge. I Boston Record.] Ike Sloan was a farmer, like a1) other Vermonters, but wasn’t exactly one of the type whose “critters” and vegetables always bring more money tlian other people’s. Ou the contrary, if there was any difference between the price that he got for his products and the market rate, it was generally to his disadvantage. One (lay on his way back from the village he complained bitterly to the people with whom he gossiped along tho 1'oad that the storekeeper had abused him most sliaincfiilly by giving him only nine cents a pound fur his maple sugar. •But, gol dcrn him,” said Sloan, with a chuckle, “I got even with him, for I ])ut morc'n two dozen bucketfuls ot water into the sap before I b’ilcdit!” ____ ‘That Miss Jones iv a ulce-looking glr!, isn’t she?” '•Yob, und she’d be tho belle of the town if it wasn’t for one thing.” “Wluit’s that?’’ ”!4hc hns Odtarrh so bad it is unpleasant to be ne.(r bi-r. she hns tried a dozen lliinvs nnd nothing help* her. lam sony, for I like her, Imt thnt doesn’t make It any U’Hs (Iisugreoable lor one to he around her.” N"W if she had used Ur. Sage’s Cuturi h Il"mcdy there would iiavo been nolliingol the kind said, for it will cure catarrh every lime. Net receipts—lish.—[Pittsburg Cbroui-cle. Soda water is the great summer fizzle. —[Washington Cntio. They laugh best whose laugh lasts.— [Now Orleans Picayune. A good country to visit in hot weather— Chili.—[Boston Traveller. *Tm down on you,” as the feather said to the goose.—[Comic Weekly. A monopolist—The roan who minds bis own business.—[New Haven News. ^ A strike of school children ought to lead to a strike of swiichmen.—[St. Louis FosU Dispatch. The wearied, wearying chestnuter sighs'] “This weather never would be mist.”-[New York Commercial. Lesson in Physiology — Professor— •^hlch teeth come last?” Pupil—“The falso ones, sir.”—Exchange. I bey bave fogs so dense in Pittsburg that tbe citizens use them to stuff pillows and mattresses with.—[Washington Critic. Tom—“How’s that cold of yoursf” Bert —“Obi 1 got rid of It.” Tom-“Whst did you take?” Bert—“A fresh one.”—[Life. “How do you manage with your wife when you go home late et nigbtsP’ “E isiiy enough—I don’t go home.”—[Tid>< bits. “Did you hear that lecture last night?” asked Williams of his neighbor Beasley. “No,” replied Beasley, “my wife wasn’t at home.”—[Tid BiU. A murderer it like a shepherd’s crook— he is onre to turn up in the eid.—[Boston Transcript. So does a pug dog.—[Boston Commercial Bulletin... Mias A.—“I hesr you are to be congratn-lated.” Mias B.—“Not at nil, 1 assure you.” Miss A.—“Tlien you are engaged to Jones, after all.”—Life. Diffi lent Lover—“1 know that I am a perfect bear in my nsainer.” She—“Sheep, you mean. Bears hug people; you do nothing but bleat.”—[Life. The moon shone eeltlr down nn them An.1 lifeeeemed moru than words could utter. He Mid: “We’ll live on love, my gem.” She said she wautea breml and batter. —fMcrchuat Traveler. Mrs. Belva Lockwood not oulr adorns bsr best bead gear with corpses of birds, to he in fashion, but has for u long time had a prcsideutial bee iu her boaneL—[Peok’o Sun. If your wife prefers that her saddlo-horso should be stiong and musouUr rather than stylish anil fleet you ought to know what kind of a one to Percheron.— [Youkers Gazette. In tbe opinion of a aaturaliat, the lioa will be extinct in 100 vears. It would be better for the morals of the country if tbe tiger were to become extinct la that time. —[Norristown Herald. An old sea oupUia says be get* aiek every times be crosses the ocean. It is inferred that although be may have never written anything fer the Century, he oon-iributee to tbe Atlantic, monthly.—[Puck. Some of tbe Washington oorrespoudeute again declare that the Preaideat is going to marry Miss Folsom. But these goesipe bave been known to lie before, and Fuleom in uuo, Folsom in omnibus.— [Chicago Times. Fkal Tramp—“You struck tbe barkeepet for I drlnkP’ üfecowsi Tramp—“Yes.” “What did be say?” “Jlo jmked me if a punch would suit mo. 1 told him it would.” “Did you get it? ’ ”Qet it? Well, 1 should smile. Just feel this lump on mv forehead” —[Stocktou Jester. Doctor—“U'ell, do you think the dog wae mad when he bit yon?” Solomon-“Waal, sab, 1 guess bo war rudder put out by de way be ’ducted bisse’f.” “Doctor—“So, I don’t mean angry; I mean rabid.” Solomon—“Oh, no, sab, it wa’u’t a rabbit. I's sliuaU ’IWiis a dog, sab.’*—[Harper’s Baz.ir. A member in a silver speech slapped at the National banks, und in a loud voice ex-tilauncd: “What Is thediffereuoe between my note and a National banknote?'’ “You can buy something with the bank note,” chipped in an opponent, before tne Texan could answer bis owu qucstiOD.-[Washington Grllio. Bagley—“Mrs. de Baggs Is the most cour-‘ageous woman I ever knew.” Mrs. Baglay (skeptically)—“Indeed I”    Bugiey—“Yes. She went to cburob last Sunday wearing her last year’s oonnet.” Mrs. Bagley—“And her husband dared to show liimseirtbe sania d tvl What do von think of that loi nerve?”—[l’blltttlel|ilila (.nil. Because uric acid in tli< blood canses most iniinan ailments is w by W arni r’s ‘iiiU cure resun es to health so iiiuny pvopio snf lermg from so inanr apparently d.ff ren. tlixeasos. It nculrulixcs and removí. lUl uric acid.

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