Cincinnati Weekly Times (Newspaper) - April 22, 1986, Cincinnati, Ohio Vol. XLIII, •TVo. IG. CITVCXTVIVA.TI, THXJRi^IXA^Y, S3, 1886. I*er Year, Mrxico Clfy. BT JOAQUIN HILLER. Some frR¡;rant trees By flower-sown sens Where lioals go up an<l tlown, And u*een’e of rest To the tired breast In this tioauteous Aztec town. But the terrible thing in this Aztec town That will Idow men’s rest into stormiest skies, Or whether tliey Journey or thev lie down— These wide .'tnd these wonderful Spanish eyes! Great wnll« almnt Gute-p(>9ts wiilicnit That prop tliese sa))])Iiirc skies! Two huge g.ite-iKists Snoiv wliite, like ghosts— <Jate-posts to this raradiMi! But, oh I turn back from the hiah-walled town! There is trouble enough in this world, 1 surmise, Without men riding in regiments down To die by those perilous ^punish eyes! NOTES AND NEW’S. Tilden says his health is much improved. Secretary Lamar sp.iiu Sunday in New York. John IÍ. Owens, the comedian, iaconva-I lesccnt. The daily edition of the London Standard ia 329.000.' Mr. Howells intends to write a Wash-jlngton novel. The Ilaplist Home Mission Society is 11150,000 in deht. Almost one-half of the voters of Chicago I are nt (oreien birth. Colonel McClnrc makes J50,000 a year I out of the Pliiladelphia Times. Fred. Houglass will lecture on John jfirown, in Bosloii, next month. In Chin.a the fee (or medical attendance I 1b from five to ten cents a visit. An entcrprisiug New York druggist ad-Ivertlses “Hast and back powder.” Florence Nighlingalo’s favorite American lauthor is Uose £l-zabeth Cleveland. The latest novelty annouiioed is a Bible jprinted in shorthand and illustrated. A piece of mj rrh held in the mouih is the ¡best preventative against contagions. About 13,000,000 worth of American made locomotives are sent abroad every year. The American common white pine has the lightest gravity ol all couiteious wood. Mrs. Jane G. Austin, the novelist, has en seriously ill for the past two months. John Cockcrill, managing editor of the iew York World, receives $10,000 a year. Umbrellas will last fur longer If, when ret, they are placed handle downward to Iry. A strawberry plant ti.as lieenexhibited iu lainesville, Ua., which contains 149 berries. Mrs. James T. Fields and Miss Sarah )rue Jewett have gone South for a short ^rip. “Quit Your Meanness” is the title of a )k of Sam. Jones* sermons soon to be Issued. Mr. Blaine has contributed $100 to the Tamlne stricken people on the weet coast of ueUnd. Late statistics are reputed to show that M. Petersburg is the most unhealthy city |n Europe. Felix Moscheles, who has been painting Ihe portraita ot rich Cbicagoaas, will leave ^bortly for l.ondon. In some parts of Mexico precious woods lire 60 plentiful that the natives build pig-ftyes of rosewood logs. The Baroness BardeH-Coults is having gratifying snocess In her enterprise of Dking food for the poor of Westminster. E. S. Carmen, of Rivet- Edge, N. T., has |ucoeedcd in crossing wheal and rye, a eat in hybridization tb.-it was not thought Qssible. The history of Congress shows that about Inc-third of the members of each bouse )ave their political beads cut off at the |Iose of the session. Wyoming cattle kings have purchased 7,200 acres iu Hillsboro and Manatee I'ouuties, Florida, lor a cattle range. The |rlce paid was $84,500 cash. To kill common moths, sprinkle water on He carpet where they are at work, lay a lamp sheet over the place, and iron with a lot iron. The steam kills them. James 6. Clark, who won fame by his (aliad singing, lives in Brown’s Valley, linn., but will come E.istsoon with a view publishing a volume of ballads. Milwaukee doesn’t seem to be much of a lolitical prohibition city. 01 the 28,000 )tes polled on Tuesday last only forty-Me were for the rruhibitloii ticket. I An attorney of Clark County, Ga., de-lares that, since the prohibition law [ent into efl'ect, his criminal practioe has een reduced more tlian 50 per cent. [The war which Forcpaugh fought for so lany years with B.inium, has been [aivcd and peace is declared. The two S circuses will pluy-together in rniladcl-lia. Mrs. 1Í iz ibelli Bancroft, by her will filed Washington on Saturday, leaves $*20,0(H) trust for the benefit of her husband, eorgc Bancroft, tlie historian, to revert to ir son. AU'xander Bliss. Henry Irving is now the happy possessor Maeread)’s “Viiginius” costumes. In-uding tunic, red serge scarf, sandals, a litol armor made of pasteboard covered ilh tinfoil and a wooden daggar, the value the whole being estimated at $10.A STKANOE MEETING. For ladles (VliO fiMiiiently nt'td a rogu-tor in the many Hit"? colds, sick head-h(>9, nervous >*‘.‘.mplaint9 ami other oíbles-incidt'Rl to sudden exposure and 1 indoor life, and yet do n >t need a rogu-1-Iibvsieian, R-v!»l Elizer is an invaliia-e relief. I'he Elixir is an ever-roady, niple, trustworlliv, household renicdv. Id as it acts like a charm in children’s ImeiitH, u will 1)0 found an invaluable us-stunt to every mother. “Do not urge me, Frank. It ia oí no use. Neither you nor I are as yet in a situation to marry.” A pretty brunette cf eighteen, with smooth, glowing' cheeks, vnd the brightest of black eyes, said this to her lover, Frauk Marlin, a good looking young purser belonging to the sloop-of-war Lion, from which he had obtained leave of absence for a few weeks. The two stood in the poreli of a cottage, in the seaport town where (he girl resided wilh her aunt, and tlierc, for the last half hour, Frank liad been vainly .trying to persuade (he young lady to become his wife before he should have to go back to his ship. “You speak very deciilediy, Gertrude,” lie now remarked. “Have 1 been mistaken in thinking you loved me with your whole heart?” “You know I do,” she said reproachfully. “Perhaps it is only in a half way fasIuon,”lie resjionded hittcrh\ “We have known each other for two years, and I am sure we are both old enough to marry.” “It is not our being so young that makes me object; it is our pecuniary po.sition.” “I think you are too practical,” he said. “1 would like a little more ro-m-Alice. Where two people really love they are not apt to count the goidand silver that will go witli it.” Tlie pretty brunette smiled; but there were tears in her soft black eyes. “It is for your sake,” she said. “It would grieve me and make me wretched to see you struggling in vain to support me." , “My salary is enough to commence on. in time I may be promoted and get more.” “True; but is it not better to wait a few years until I am twenty-one? Then we will be sure.” “Sure of what, Gertrude?” “Of our exact position iu a pecuniary sense.” That “pecuniary” grated on Frank’s oar.s. Hasty in his conclusions as young people are apt to be, it now occurred to him that Gertrude was of a cold lucrcciiary disposition, and that she could not love him as he would wish to be loved by the woman ho should take fra- his wife. “Once for all, Gertrude,” he said firmly, “I am resolved not to wait three years. If you persist in ¡refusing to bo mine before I join my ship, you and I must part forever—that is, if you consent,” Gertrude htid a spirit of her own. Her eyes flaslied as she answered: “I do refuse but it is because I love you so well. Still, if you are decided that we part forever”—here her voice faltered a little—“I absolve you from any promises you have made to me.” “It is well. Good-bye,” he said. And away he ivciit, now feeling quite convinced that Gertrude’s love for him was not very deep. From that moinenl the young girl’s happy light hearted laugh was seldom heard in the cottage. 8he did not become either pale or thin, but her manner was more serious than ever before, and once or twice her aunt surprised her with tears iu her eyes. She questioned her, and Gertrude owned that she and Frank were parted, pi-obably forever. Mouths rolled on. T-He young girl suffered deeply, but no complaint ever passed her lips. “You want change of scene, Gertrude,” said her aunt, who was much attached to her niece. “Wo will go to Australia.” Gertrude smiled faintly. The speaker’s son, John, an industrious man, had written that he was doing a thriving business there, and had invited his mother and cousin to come over and pay him a visit. The girl knew that her aunt had always wished that she and John would take to each other. She readily consented to go to Australia; ana in due time the two were on their way aboard the ship Walrus. The vessel had a good swift passage, and reached her destination iu a few weeks. John Williams, the son of Gertrude’s aunt, having heard irom the latter of his cousin’s disagreement with her lover, did his best to please and win her, but all in vain. Her absent maimer when in his company betokened that she was always thinking of Frank Marlin, the only man she could ever love. Afiei- spending a year in Australia, Gertrude signified her wish to return home. Accordingly, she and ner disappointed aunt sailed for England aboard the Wingfield, one of the best ships then in port. The vessel experienced much bad woatlier, and one morning the captain found himself iu the vicinity of the Austral Islands, which u'cre right under his lec, wilh a heavy gale driving his ship tUroniiy toward thcro'oks. dl'^oeean, toaming and l-oaring, and covered with fiying epi-ay, sent huge rolling waves against these rocks, so that at times they were almost hidden by the wiiitc sheets of water that llcw up nearly to their summils. It was a fearful sight to the occupants of that craft, wliic-li seemed doomed to strike upon those frowning rockv walls. In such a gale the skipper could uot veer ship; ueithcr could he keep her close enough to the wind to clear the dangerous masses, while to keep off would be to only hasten her destruction, as a line of breakers extended from the rocks,in a semi-circle some hundreds ot fathoms in length. Gertrude and her aunt were now on dock. The latter, pale with terror, wrung her hands piteously, but her young companion appeared tobemoi-e calm, although she, too, was mucli terrified. “Oh, Caiitain, is there no way to avoid those rocks?” cried tlie elder lady. “I am sorry to say, ma’am,.thcie is none!” answered the skipper sadly. “It’s the bad weather that brougiit me to this.” “Will there be no hope for us when we strike ?” But the Captain did not like to answer this question, for he knew there would be scarcely a chance for anyone to be saved when the ship should be hurled and Shivered to fragments on the rocks. He walked away to speak to his mate, who was now bending over the rail, pceriu" intently through the mist that half obscured a long jutting promontory of the island to windward. Forward and amidships stood the crew, silent and appalled, awaiting the dreaded moment of the shock which, it seemed, could not now be delayed more than a quarter of an hour, so close were tlie rocks to the vessel.I “Wo are doomeil, Langford,” said the skipper to the mate, who was still gazing to windward. “Nothing can save us now.” “Aye,” answered Langford. “But, if I mistake not, there is a boat with someone in it making for us, from the way ot that jiromontory yonder.” “You are right,” answered the captain, after a brief survey. “What can he want at such a time?” The boat—a good strong one, containing Uio stalwart form of a young man—was headed diasronally, soithat it struck the ship’s side a few moments later. A rope had been thrown to the occupant, who now clambered aboard, revealing plainly the compact broad-shouldered form and good-looking sun-embrowned face of one familiar with the sea. He cast a quick glauco about him, and then looked ahead, *ére he spoke to the captain. “1 have come to save your ship, sir,” he then said. “No living man can do that now, sir,” replied the skipper. “I can do it,” anstwercd the stranger as he quietly shook the spray from his brown hair. Gertrude and her aunt, who had hitherto been scicened from the young man’s gaze by the cabin-house, behind which they stood, now beut forward to look at the new comer. lie, turning at the same moment, met the full gaze of the girl. “Frank Marlin I” she cried. “AYhatl Gertrude Wilson here?” he exclaimed, a gleam of pleasure for a monicDt lighting his blue eyes. Then a look of sadness fell upon his face, and bowing slightly he turned away toward the captain. “If, as you say, sir, you can save my craft, I think there is no time to lose. I put her in your hands,” cried the skipper. “Up helm I Square yards 1” shouted Marlin in the voice of one accustomed to command. He was promptly obeyed, and now, with added velocity, the craft was driven on toward the rocks. Marlin quietly waited until she was opposite a certain rock, when his second order came; “Steady—steady as you go I” It now seemed as if, in a few minutes, the ship must be hurled, crashing, on the rocks ahead. But when she was within ten fathoms of it Marlin’s ringing voice was again heard: “Keep off, there, at the wheel.” As tlie helmsman raised tlio wheel, the ship’s bow pointed past the rock, so that she now headed directly toward a foaming, tumbling mass of water, not six fathoms off. “Breakers!” roared the captain to the young man. “Y'ou are driving the ship straight upon them!” And he bounded toward the wheel. Marlin, smiling, caught him by the arm. “You will spoil all,” ho said, “wait!” A tew seconds after ho spoke, the ship plunged tlirough that Jbamiiig caldron of white water, which the skipper thought was the sure sign of breakers, but which proved to be morely asortof whirpool, ana das]j3d salcly on. “Steady, man ; steady at the wheel!” shoiitca Maiiiii. Swiftly the vossbl, rushing past a high rock, glided into a bay, where she was sheltered from^tlie giilc, “Now vou can anchor,” said Marlin. The skipper gave the order, ami the ship was soon lying snugly at anchor. “You have saved us!” cried the cap tain gratefully, grasping tlic young man’s hand. “Ave, sir, because a rosidcnco of oigiitccu months on this island has made me famili’ar with every nook and corner of it.” “Oh, Frank, and have you indeed been living here so long ?” said a timid voice at his elbow, after the captain had walked forward. Ho turned to see the tearful pleading eyes ot Gertrude turned up towards his face. She thought she read encouragement in his loving glance, and, with a faint cry, she fell sobbing and weeping upon his breast “So long—so long 1” she murmured; “blit it has come at last—the meeting I have hoped for.” “Do you, then, love me so much after all, Gertrude?” “God alone kuows how much!” she replied. “And will yon be .my wdfe if I go home with you ? You will be twenty-one by that time.” “Yes—oh, yes!” she answered in a low thrilling voice of pleasure. “I am poorer now than I ever was before,” he continued. “After I left you, nearly three years ago, I found that I could take no interest in anything. I could only think of the dear girl from whom I liad so ruthlessly torn myself away. I was promoted aboard my ship, but that gave me no pleasure; and finally, in my wretched-ues.s, 1 threw up my commission and came to live all alone on this island, little dreaming it would be the means of my being reunited to the only woman I could ever love.” “Ah, Frank, how happy you make me with those words!” she answered, “for they show you really love me. And now I will tell you something which I could not do three years ago. Ere my uncle died, when i was twelve years old, he left with my aunt a legacy for me of £5,000. It was so arrau^ed, however, that I could not come into possession of it until I was twenty-one years of age, and not even then if I should marry before that time, in which case it would go to a certain institution. , “My uncle’s reason for making this condition was a strong, deeply-rooted prejudice he had against early marriages. Aware of the condition, and yet having been required to promise my uncle to keep the affair a secret from any person seeking my haiia, until the time of my wedding should have beeu absolutely fixed, you can understand why, when you asked me to be your wife so long ago', and I wished to postpone our marriage, I did not explain matters to you as I am doing now. Your present poverty can make uo diflereuce to me, as we will have pienty to start with, which will insure us agaiust waut.” “Noble girl 1” said Frank, “liow I blame myself for having so misunderstood you—for having iinnuted mercenary motives to so perfect a character. It is a lesson to me to never again form hasty conclusions,” In due time the lovers arrived home and were married. Assisted by his wife, Freiik engaged in a mercantile business, which now yields him a good income. Dallade of Trulsma. BT iNDRKW LANO. Gold or silver, every day, Die# to jrray. There are knots i;i every skein. Hours ol irork and hours of play Fade away Into one imnicuse inane. Shadow and substance, chaff and grain Are as vain As the foam or as the spray. Life goes crooning, faint and fain. Une refrain: “If It could be always May!” Though the earth be gi-een and gay, Though, they say, Man the eiip of heaven may drain. Though his little world to sway He display Hoard on hoarder pith and brain. Autumu brings a mist aiui ruiii That constrain Him and his to know decay. Where undimmeii the llchu that wane Would remain, If it eould be always May. Yea, alas! mnst turn to Nay, Flesh to clay. Chance and Time are ever twain. Men may scoff and men mar pray. But they pay Every pleasure with a pain. Life may soar and fortune delga Toexplaln Where her prizes hide and stay; But wc lack the lusty train Wo should gain If it could be always May. INVOY. Time the pedagogue his cane Might retain: But his charges all would stray Truaiiting in every lane— Jack with Jane!— If It could bo always May. OuBhtto Be Saitsfled. riudiannpolis Journal.| A clerk in the Treasury Department went to Register Rosecraiis.tlio other day and said: ^ “General, I wonder why I am not promoted I have becu kept in the same grade for 3’ears. My work is performed satisfactorily, and others with poor records are promoted all around me.” “Wliat’s j'our salary ?” inquired old Rosy. “Twelve hundred,” replied the lady. “Good gracious!” exclaimed the old man, “you ought to be thankful you get that and never ask for a promotion. Why, wc are raising money every day to send good Democrats home who have come hero from all parts of the country to get places and who have not succeeded.” “Fools Itusti In WUere Angels Fcar to Tread!” So Inipetuous youth is often given to (oily and Indisiretions; and, as a result, nerv-on*, mental and organic debility follow, memory la inipairrrt, srlf-contldeiice is luckinir; at night bad dieams occur, prem. ature old ago seems setliiig in, ruin is in tbo track. In coi tiili iico, you can, and should write to Dr. It. V. Fierce, ol Builalo, N. Y.. tiie aiillH'i of a treatise for the bci». '•tit of that class 01 paticiils, and describe vour symptoms anil siiflcrings. He can cure toil at your liome, ami will leud you lull particulars by luuil. MILLIONS IN PICTURES. Art Treasnrea in the Galleries of Rich New Yorkers. “New Y^ork is becoming one of the greatest art centers iu the world,” said a dealer in fine pictures to a Mail and Express reporter recently. “Surely $10,000,000 and probably more are invested in the pictures which hang oil the w'alls of private galleries iu this city. The majority of these pictures are, however, the production of foreign artists, although there is quite a large number from the studios of American artists. “During the past few years there has beeu a marked and rapid advance in the knowledge and appreciation of art in this country. Tliis is iu tlic main due to tho frequency with which Americans make European tours and visit the foreign studios and galleries. Americans have thus been enabled lo study the works of the old masters as woíl as the modern school. Tho result has been that they purchase more intelligently and discriminutcly. The jiictiirés iu eighteen private galleries iu this city arc actually worth $fi,(XX),^)00.” “Can you tell me about some ot the finest collections iu tho city ?” asked the scribe. “1 can tell you of some of those on which over $100,000 have been ex- ficndcd. The gallery of the late Win. I. Vanderbilt heads the list Tlie pictures which hang on the walls of the Fifth avenue mansion are estimated at $1,000,000. In all Ulereare about 150 works. “Mr. Cornelius Vanderbilt’s gallery is worth $300,000. In tho collection of Mrs. Marshall 0. Roberts, which is worth $300,000, are works by Meisso-nier, Paul de la Roche, Stevens, Clay, Schreyer, Hans Van Marcke, Gcronie, Detaille, C. L. Millet Besides these are the liistorical piece, Washiugiou Crossing the Delaware, by Ijcutzc; Church’s Under Niagara and Sunset in the Tropics, and several examples of Troyon, Meyer von Bremen, Florcnt Willems, Verboeckhoven, George H. Boughton—over 200 works. Mrs. Alex. T. Stewart is tho owner of Rosa Bonheur’s celebrated Horse Fair, valued at $50,000; Meia-sonier’s grandest picture, tho Battle at Friedland, for which the artist was paid $60,000; Gerome’s Death of the Gladiator and Chariot Race, a grand Knaus, a fine Erskine Nicol, several Troyons and Mackays, two fineZama-coiscs, Church’s Niasrara, the picture which first brought that artist prominently before the public; two largo Bonguereani, two largo Millets—in all about 200 pictures, valued at nearly half a million dollars. Mrs. Robert L. Stuart has al>oiit 150 pictures, a number of which are by American artists. They are valued at about $250,000. Miss Catherine L. Wolfe has a collection of 120 works, valued at $450,000. Judge lliltoii owns a grand De-taiile, and examples of Muukaczy, Boughton, Bridgeinan, Dupre, Jacque, Ziein, Achcubach, Ed. Richter, Gabriel Mus—about 150 paiutings, valued at $200,000. Mr. August Belmont’s pictures are selected with great care. There are in all about 100 works, and they are worth over $350,000. Mr. Jay Gould has a very fine collection. About 120 paintings adorn his walls, and the lowest estimate to put on their worth is a quarter of a million dollars. Iu Mr. John Jacob Astor’s gallery there are Gerome’s “The Death of Cte-sar,” Citarles L. Millet’s “The Roll Call,” a grand Vibert and examples of Selon, Madrazo, Hector Leroux, Preyer, Meyer von Bremen and others. The collection is worth $200,000. Mr. Wm. Astor has examples of Troyon, Meissoiiicr, CabaucI, Miin-kaczy, Selon, Van Marcke, Toul-moucho, Schreyer, Dominguez, Hector Leroux, Madrazo, Bougucrcau— about a hundred pictures in all, worth $300,000. Other valuable collections are Mr. Jeremiah Mlllbank’s, worth $150,000; Mr. Albert Spencer’s, worth $250,000; Mr. Josiah M. Fiskc’s, worth $100,000; Mr. Heber R. Bishop’s, worth $150.000; Mr. Wm. Rocka-fcller’s, worth $3(X),000, and Mr. Mills’, valued at $200,000.” Proltflo Families. Dr. C. L. Fletcher, of Wing’s Station, N. Y., writes to tho Medical Record: “A woman residing in this town has given birth to twenty-fivo children. She is hardly past the prime of life, and is now in good health, having recently recovered troman attack ot scarlet fever. When the writer was in practice in Northern Vermont he often had occasion to prescribe for the different members of tho family in which the mother had given birth to twenty-five children, having three pairs of twins in tlie crib at one time. The same woman had two sisters who had borne, respcctivclj', twenty-two and eighteen children, making a total of óixty-livo from tho three sisters. It is needless to say that all tho families arc poor in the financial sense.” Cl4*v«tlttnd’s Work. p lcvcliiiifl Lca'Ier.J Cleveland works all tho time and takes very little rest. He rises curly, dresses, washes, and shaves himself, and then sits down to read the newspapers until brtakfast time. Between 8 and 9 he has his breakfast, and ho eats moderately. After breakfast he does uot exercise at all, but goes immediately to his office and sits down to work. He looks over his private letters, and answers such of these as can not be intrustea to others, lie docs uot use a stenographer, but pushes the pen himself, turning off sheet after sheet of smooth manuscript as fast as his fat hand can travel over the paper. Before he is through with these Ids time for public business arrives, and callers begin to come. Many of these are prominent and infiiicutial and the President has to think well how he treats them. Each has a different story to tell and a diilcrent subject to discuss. The President’s mind is on a continuous strain, and such a strain as would set wild the ordinary thinker. At 11 o’clock there will be a hundred office seekers ready to call upon him, and on every other morning questions of slate policy are to be discussed in the Cabinet. At 1 o’clock the President leaves his office and rushes down to liinch. He eats like a Wall street broker, and then, after live minutes of shaking hands with the visiting throng in the East Room, he rushes back into his office and pounds away until near nightfall. Now and then ho takes a ride in the afternoon, and he did do this regularly for a time. Ho has his dinner carl)', and after it goes back to his office and works away far on into tho night. Ho does not go out to receptions or dinners. Ho spends little time calling upon his Democratic friends, and you do not hear of leading statesmen going up to the White House and having a jolly evening with tho President, as has been the custom in days past. It would be better for the country if Cleveland were married. His wile wouidget him away from his work, and there would be less danger of his breaking down. A G(mm1 Htory. [New York Tribune ] That is a good story, which the Rev. Dr. Rush, Secretary of the Freed men’s Aid Society of the Methodist Episcopal Ciiurch, tells to tho annual conferences, before which he presents the claims of his society. A young negro in the Soiitli had been converted and at once W’anted to liroach. His elders tliought he was not fitted for the important work ; but he well-nigh staggered them by relating a vision, in which ho had plainly seen the letters “G. P. C.,” W'liich could mean only: “Go preach Christ” A white haired negro preacher slowly arose and told the ambitious young brotlier that, while he had no doubt seen the letters iu a vision, he had failed in the interpretation. They probably meant: “Go pick cotton,” or “Go plough corn.” This settled the matter. A preacher in tlie New York conference, when the story was told a few days ago, remarked to a friend sitting near. “I wish we liad men in our white conlereucos sharp enough to explain away as satisfactorily the arguments by which our young incompetents try to convince the committee that they have beeu called to preach the gospel.” The Thinnest IHsn in Miohigau. IChlcago Herald.] “Talking about thin men,” said the story telling passenger in the smoking car, “1 was up in Michigan last week, and while there saw the thinnest man that ever lived, I guess. I wonder that tho dime museum man hain’t got hold ol him.” “How thin was ho ?” “Wait a miuutc—I’m coinin’ to that While I was at his house, stopping lo inquire the road to Saginaw, he drove uj) with a load of wood, ana oil getting down his pants got caught in a sliver and torn awfully, just below the knee. Ilis wife was a-stand-ing there in the door-yard, aud she says: *“ ‘My, John, you’re a pretty lookin’ object to be standin’ there talkin’ to a gendemau wilh your trousers torn that way. Wait a mluute au’ I’ll fix ’em.’ ” “Did she sew them up right before your eyes ?” “No; she run in tbs house an’come out a miuutc or two later with three or four clothes-pins, and stuck ’em on his legs to hold the flapping pieces of his trousers in place.” A Horse Hwiins Five Miles. [Cun Francisoo Bulletin.] Five of the horses stampeded on Market street on Sunday evening jumped into the bay. Monday morning about 9 or 10 o’clock oho of them' swam ashore at the Alameda beach, near the petroleum retluery at Bird’s Point. The horse was noticed a long distance out iu the bay making for tho shore. More than twelve hours passed between tho time the horse juinpcd into the water and the time he swam ashore. Tho distance from the San Francisco wharf to the Alameda beach exceeds five miles. (¿. What is Hie oimiiuii ot stundai'il aietl-ical autlioritleb on kulney iliseasc? A. That liie blood vessels and tubes of tlie kidnevs have becoino imralyzed by repealed and loin; neglected congestion and, having uo ntrvc jmwer to control tlieir uc-Uon, the albumen, Hie life ol tbo blood, es-eapes, wliilc Hie uric acid and waste remain i!i and destroy Hie blood. This some-iinii‘8 results in dangerous blood poUoiiiug: tu,' only true soienliHc blood tonic, before wliieli llieso -.ymiitoins and diseases rapidly llee away, is >Yaruei’s safe cure. Spriag. BT D. L. eOVT. When all adown the muddy street. The new stiff hat a-splnnlng flies; When folks like sometniDg sour to eat. And (loets have diphtherial sighs; When in maid’s eyes the lore-light glows; And dudes put on their checkered clothes; Why then, Why then it is a settled thing. That we have spring, delightful spring. When sideboards sulphur bittcrs show. And fashion-piatei are much admired; When freckle-laden breezes blow, And i.ent makes everrbodr tired; When Barunm’d bills salute the eye. And hotel clerks tlieir diamonds buy; W’hy then, Why then It ia a settled thing, Tiiat we have spring, delightful spring. —[Boston Globe. CVIIKENT FUN. Hand organs —Tho Angers.—[Boston Traveller. A Interesting liquor case—A box of champagne.—[Boston Bulletin. Treating a man coolly—Inviting him M drink iced lemonade.—[Lowell Citizen. The chiel dish on the British political bill of fare Just now is an Irisa stew.-[Chicago Journal. Signs of spring—the lithographs adver> tising bock beer, in saloon windows.-[Low« ell Citizen. The wages of sin is $20,000 left in an Al-dcrraan’i overcoat pocket in New York. —Detroit Free Press. The question ot the day and a good one, too, is, how far can you expand your chest? —[Philadelphia News. The Boston Base Ball Club has four pitchers—as many as a hundred-dollar dinner set.—[Lowell Courier. Love is blind, but uot so blind but that it causee when the parlor gas is burning too freely.—[Springfield Union. “One swallow doesn’t make a spring,’* but too many swallows are apt to makn one fall.—[Boston Traveller. You never found a tailor who thought well of Cupid. 'There’s no money In him. —[Hartford Sunday Journal. The rivers of the country are having * high time. They are indulging in bank-wettlngs.—[Pittsburg Chronicle. It is common for a man to bring up bis niece, but what do you think of a fellow who raises his ante?—[Boston Post, 4 Beggars are becoming numerous in Pittsburg. Some are niedioanti, hut others ars mend-I-won’ts.—[Pittsburg Chronicle. Some one says a be.vu on a girl’s arm Is worth two on her hat. That depends oo how tight It is tied.—[Baltimore News. All the fashions arc for slender womes. This iesvee the 1st women to waddle about at beet they oan.—f Atlanta Constitution. The exposition at New Orleans will soon cloee. When an exposition becomes “permanent,” it doesn’t keep open long.—[Norristown Hersld. “Great men often rise from small beginning»,” says a writer. They often rise from small endings also, e. g., the point of a pin. —[Burlington Free Press. A poetaeke, “Why are the spirits thus concealed?” Because this bar is positlvelf closed on Sunday unless you know the knock.—[Philadelphia Cull. The moet remarkable case ot oonversioa on record recently occurred in St. Albans, Vt. An entire skating rink was eonvorled into a otauroh.—[Boston Post. The outside of the News is miserablj printed this week, owing to the chuckle-headed negro pressman greasing the forms to make the roller run slick.—[Jackson (Oa.)Newi. It is bard times in New York, and strawberries bnve dropped to $2 50 per box; but the bottoms of the boxes are etiil up. Hard limes don’t touch “the bAttom” yet.—[Chicago Inter Ocean. The last run of buckwheat cakes and the first run of shad make their appearance together. The buckwheat oake goss out on a scratch, but the ehad is s veritable boneanza.-[Philadelphia Press. The ghost in the “Corsican Brothers,** now being played in New Oileans, walks around with gold sleeve buttons, which creole audiences think rather an inuova-tion on the established custom of ghosts.— [Uiobmond State. Customer: “Isn’t it a trifle large, Levi?** Lsvl: “Larch, mine freut? S’ help me gracious I uf you geeps dot shpring goat on, unt your vife sees it, your bosom viil sehwell niit pride so dot she’ll hef to set dem buttons fowsrts.”—[Puck. A Sunday school urchin thus iuforms his teacher: “One day Billy come home boldin’ a little mole by the tail, which a bad boy had co’t and guv him, and it was alive. When my sister see him she ssid: ‘O, you crewel, crewel boy, thro’ it into the lire luis niiiiuit.’ ”—[Ganlonors’ .Monthly. An Atchison editor ran last Tuesday for the proud otDje of School Director, and when the ballnta were iu and counted, tbat undaunted spirit sent out to the world the fullowing aniiouncenient: “ThankQadl we have still a ricn heritage to leave our chll-ilrcn—the memory of their father’s virtues.”—[Kansas City Times. Citizen—“Just think ol the deception jiracticed every day. Why. it’s dreadfu!. Now, it you could make $13.) by a lie, your sense ol honor wouldn’t allow you to do it, would it, Washington Jackson?” W.ish-liigton Jackson—“Danno, boss—dunno. Seems to me dat am a matter ob bisuc^^s wharln lionali ain’t got niHfln to say. Sav, boss, who’s de aiau wld dt* $150?”—[ I’ld' Bits. If vou onco try Carter’s l.uHc Livei Fill» for sick hcadaclic, nilliUHU o con uc • lion vou will never tie wiiii't.i H -in. I li are iuirilv vc:;0labl< ; sn ail and eas) u lake. All dniggislc sell tuciu.