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Ohio Cincinnati Weekly Times Newspaper Archives Apr 1 1986, Page 1

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Cincinnati Weekly Times (Newspaper) - April 1, 1986, Cincinnati, OhioVol.     IVo.    13. I’er Year, Model and Bfarblo. BY W. W. STOKY. Phryne. tbr lips pliall imle, Thy ri)iin'(lp«l liiiihsilecay, Nor iovc nor iiríivereoiin aught avail To biu thy wauly utay; But there thy iinilc for centuries On inarhic lips sliall live. For art can grant wiint iove denies And hold the fiigiiive. Wtien all our hopes and fears are dead, And botlionr hearts are cold. And love is like a Innc tliat’aplayed, And life a tale tliai’s tohl, This senseless stone, HO coldly fair. That love nor life, can warm. The same enehantini; ItM)k shall wear, Tlie same enchanting form. And strangers, when wc sleep in peace. Shall say not quite unmoved, “So smiled npou l’iaxit;‘les The Pliryne whom he loved!“ NOTES AN1> N1.WS. Ex-Govcrnov Long, of Massacliusctts, is writing a novel. Roswell P. Flower is with a party of friends in Mexico. Governor Harrison a«pires to Senator Hawley’s scat in the S.miite. Pear trees in Florida .ire being ruined by spiders, which eats the buds. Queen Victoria’s yacht, Osborne, Is to be given $20,000 worth of rp[!air8. Mr. Piper, of Assumption, Illinois, has several coyotes as watch dogs. General Francis A. Walker subscribes $100 to the fund for Mi-^. Hancock. Governor Ilubinson says Massachusetts has spent $16,000,000 in soldiers’ aid since 18G1. A new census shows iho popuLition of Rime to be 3-15,030, of whom 11,105 are soL diers. It is proposed to hold a reunion of all the army oauds, Union aud Coufederate, in Ricbmond. President McCosb has averaged ten hours of stttdy per day throughout his.pro-fessional hie. Joseph JilTcrson Is dating cheery letters to Nortbern friends frum his Elysian spot in Louisiana. Paul Boyton is inakini: preparations for a swim from the upper Sacramento River to San Francisco, Mme. Nilsson sang “Kathleen Marour-neeu” at a concert in London on the evening of St. Patrick’s Day. A steel railway bridge is to be built across tbe .Mississippi one mile north of Dubuque, to cosi $1,000.000. A man who died at Burlington, Iowa, tbe other day left $100 to the reporter who should write the best obituary of him. Editor Henry vValterson Is rapidly recovering from his illness. He proposes to spend tbe summer in Europe, skiling May 1. It is rumored that Professor T. C. Chamberlain, of Beloit College, will be offered the Presidency ot tbe Wisconsin Slate I‘University. Wbiftler, the poet, writes to a friend: '‘The long, hard winter has left me very t>oorIy in health. 1 dread to touch pen and paper.” At Delta, the terminus of the California & Oregon Road, In Northern California, flity-three Inches of water has fallen siuce tbe first of Jan liar}. Mrs. Lnngry has become tbe possessor of one of the finest sets of Russian sable in the werld. It took years to collect, and it is valued at $0,000. Ex.Congressman Belford, "the red-beaded rooster of the Ri ckies,” is to lecture on “Labor Problems” uuler tbe auspices of the Knights of Labor. An Iowa man who had been converted at a revival meeting groaned eo long and loud over bis sins Hint be wrs arrested aud fined $10 for disorderly conduct. Isaac Lea, the Philadelphia scientist, is more than ninety-four years old, but stilt possesses his full mental vigor. The published bibliography of his scientific writings comprises 270 tilles. Mrs. Grant has paid out of her sharo of the proceeds of the General’s book $26,000 to Mrs. Corbin, sister of the General, being tbe amount which that ludy lost by an investment with Grant &, Ward. A Kansas tnuii acted as his own surzcon the other day, and, with the aid of a Jack-knife, exti acted a bullet from the root of his mouth, where it was lodged by au old revolver which exploded in his hands. St. Angustino, Fla., is to have the largest hotel in the South, COO bv 4C0 leot, and costing $4.000 000. It will bo built in strictly Moorish nrohitectuiv, of coquina ground and mixed with cement, and will be ready for next w iiih?i’s business. J. B. Ilaggln is shipping hay from California to liouisvtlle, Ky., for his race horses, Culilornia hay being much better than the blue grass niilcle for fust stock. It costs $8 per ton to kIiId the hay, which is laid down at Louisville at $22 per ton. In a-late lecture at Yale Professor Ai tluir T. Hadley stated that no less than 16,000 persons were Injured annually in the United States from the single duty of coupling cars. This estímate is made from statistics of surgical aid glycu to such cases. *    ' Emperor Williim, at eighty-nine years of age, is still a very busy man, and has his day’s work cut out for him as regularly as any Stale official. He rises eyery morning at 7:30 and dresses at once for tho day, disdaining to use either dressing gown or slippers.REVENGE OF A GIRL. BY W. H. S. ATKINSON. “I have not had any ache or pain In the rheumatic lino since using your ttietllcSne —Athloplioros, two years ago. It has made a tho.eugb cure in my case,” is the written tefitlmonv of Mrs. Ella bmilh, 01 North Fester street, biiid»‘'field, 0. In 18G5, having lost an arm in the war, I accepted the quiet position of station agent at Big Lick Junction iu one of the wildest raouutaiu sections iu Tennessee. The north and south accoinniodalion trains phssed Big Lick about 11 in the morning, at which hour the branch time train left for Rivcj'villc, the country cast, and the north bound express passed at 11 at night. If I had passengers I stopped her; if not, she thundered past the junction at the rate of thirty-five miles an hour. One warm July evening I was waiting for the north express to pass. In five minutes it would be due. Through the still night air I could hear the puffing of tlie locomotive, and at the same time I saw a man hurrying up the track. He came almost b'cathlcss into the depot and surprised me by asking for a ticket to Nashville. “Fm no tramp, hut I haven’t a cent,” said he. “Say quick, it you’ll let me have a ticket for this, and stop the express.” He threw down acnrionsold slcevc-bulton as he spoke, and I saw at a glance that it was valuable. There was only a moment left, but I tried to size the man up. He looked strange, somehow, but before T could determine whether he was a scoundrel or a crank I gave him the ticket and went out to wave my red lighl. As the train slowed up he said ; “Yon needn’t try to sell that trinket; I will bo down here in a week or so and will redeem it by paying yon cash for the ticket. Much obliged to j’ou. Good niglit.” The sleeve-button was a large topaz in a quaintly wrought silver setting. Apart from its intrinsic value it was quite a curiosity on account of ilsevi-(tcnt age. As I had but one shirt sleeve it was as valuable to mo as a pair would have been to any other man, and I wore Utc button accord-iugly. A month later another strange visitor came to Big Lick, this time a lady. The train which daily made the round trip on the branch line from Rivcrvillo to the Junction and return one morning brought a very beaulifiil .voting lady. She Avas rather tall, with a perfect figure, and a face which, while it was handaome in the extreme, was jiarticnlarly noticeable for its determined expression. It was a fascinating face. This young lady, who apparently came to Big Lick with no parliculav object, loitered along the road which led over the moiintaine, loitered back again and prepared to take licr scat in the car Avhlch she had left but an hour or so before. She was very jdeasant, said she was staying at Riverville, but thought she would like to sketch tho wild scenery iu the neighborhood of the Junction. After the main line trains had cleared away I assisted her to the car. As I did so I displayed tho sleeve button on my cuff, and as she caught sight ot it I fancied that she started. However, I thought nothing much of that, because tw enty people had each asked twenty different questions about it since it came into my possession. Well, tho next day the lady came again, this time bringing a complete artist’s on I fit. For two weeks Miss Milner—she had introdncod herself— had been a regular passenger on the Riverville Accommodation. She talked to mo a great deal more than she sketched, and always about the Avar. I suppose at tbe end of those two AV’Ccks 1 had told her every item of interest (or otherwise) which had come in my Avay during my army life. But she ncA’cr tired, and avouIH ask a thousand and one questions of things I should never myself have thought of. Then for two whole weeks 1 saAV nothing of my amalcur artist, wlicn one morning Miss Milner alighted from the train and sliook me most cordially by the hand. The conductor had a letter for me. It was addressed to “Tlie Station Agent, Big Lick Junction.” I opened it and read: “Please have the trinket, left Avith you by a stranger Iavo months ago, handy on Tuesday night. lie Avill be on hand to keep his promise, and will Avant to take the express for Nashville.” This Avas Tuesday, so that I had onl.y a short time to Avear the button, Avliich I bad begun to regard as my OAvn. Miss Milner stood near Avhil'o 1 read my letter, and Avhen I Avas through asked me if I could give her ten minutes of my time Avhere we could talk Avithout fear of disturbance. .-We Aveiit into my inner office and 1 locked the door. Then she (IrcAv from her pocket a small re-volA'cr and tho mate to my sleeve button, laying them u])on my desk. A curious smile overspread her face as she said:    “Mr. Norton, tho first time I came to Big Lick, I came Avith no particular purpose, merely to Avhile aAvay an hoiir or Iavo of a suiunier Every time I have come since, until to-day, I have carried this pistol, being fully persuaded at first that you deserved to be shot. I have been eager to identify you, that I might have tho satisfaction of shooting you, and, believe me, I sltould not have hesitated for a moment had I been convinced that you Avcre indeed the man I at first 8ui)posed you to he. The last day I was here I had some doubts as to my being on the right track. I am now satisfied that my suspicions were totally unjust. Before I go any further, will you forgive me, and promise me vour friendsltip and aid in the tuturc?” I felt, to use a vulgar expression, “all in a heap.” Seeing my hesitation Miss Milner continued; “1 Avill salisty you that I had good reason for iny conduct, and can only reiterate that I am very sorry uoav that my suspicions should have fallen on A’ou.” Slic then told me the following story: “Five years or more ago, when the war AvaS almost at its close, my father, Avho Avas Colonel in a cavalry regiment in tho Union army, Avas seriously Avoundcd. Onr house Avas not A’ery far from the seat of Avar, so he Avas brought to the old homestead to die— as Ave all thought. But he rallied and in a few Aveeks appeared to be in a fair Avay to recover. AVHicn, one evening, a soldier called at the house, saying that he must sec my father at once and alone on important military biisincss, hcAA’as admitted to the sick chamber and lelt Avith my father. An hour pai?scd, w’hen the doctor, thinking my fatlier w'ould be worse after so long an inlcrvioAV, decided to go to the room and request tho soldier to Avithdraw. To his liorror he found my father upon the floor unconscious, his head badly bruised. His bureau Avas open and emptied of all money and other valuables. The robber and murderer had decamped. I say murderer, because my father died that night, though not befqre he was able to tell something of his assailant. My father had struggled manfully, though of course feebly, for his life, and in the scuffle had torn aAvay this cuiious sleeve button from his murderer. That, to me, liorrible yellow jew'el I haA’e carried CA’cr siuce, as tho only clue by Avhich I hope to find the man Avhom I have SAvorn to be revenged upon. I Avas only a very j'oung girl Aviien my father died, but I had no mother, sister or brother, and concentrated all the ardent aftection of my nature upon my dear, good father. So, young as I was, I then and there determined and solemnly voAved to shoot that father’s murderer if I ever found him, on sight. Revenge is noAV the ruling passion and only aim of my life, and yon can imagine my emotion AA’h'cn I saAv you wearing the mate to this horrible sleeve button.” “Will yon tell me wliere you ^ot that sleeve button, for I am now certain that you never oAAmed the pair?” I related all I knew of the jcAvel, and then added; “Road this letter, which has just come, hnt remember tltat the man who gaA’e me the button may be, and probably is, as innocent as I am. Do not be hasty, as you mav inisiudgc a second time, and in any case, my dear young lady, do .not shed blood, even though it be guilty blood—let the law do that.” She said nothing except to request me to unlock the door, and soon I saAV her Avalklng aAvay up the mountain side. Tho Riverville train left Avith-out Miss Milner, and I was once more aloite in tho deserted depot. About 10 o’clock she sauntered into the station. “Let me stay inside there, out of sight, but where I may see and hear tliis man who wrote that he Avouhl be here to-night.” I agreed on condition that she giA'c up her pistol, which she did after hesitating for an instant. It Avas just such a night as when two inoutlis before, I Jiad sold a ticket for a s|eeA’e button. I began to Avish I bad never seen the unlucky trinket. As iny custom Avae on fine evenings, I drew my chair out to the platform and lit a cigar. Just as on that other evening, about five minutes before the express Avas duo my man linrriod un. “Good evening, Mr. Agent. Please let me have a ticket to Nashville and my sleeve fastening, and take enough out of this bill for two tickets. That will make us square, I believe, and I’m CA'crlastingly obliged to you.” “Stay a minute,” I said. “1 have taken a fancy to this old button, and Avould like to buy it of you.” “Don’t Avant to scH It,” he said rather curtly. “Oh, come, I’ll give you a fair price for it. Will lot you have another ticket nud give you to boot.” “Can’t do it—hui ry up. 1 can hear tho train.” “WliAV is there any little history attached to the button?” I asked. “Yes, there is, but look above, man.” “I.<ot8 of time,” I said, as I gazed at my watch. There was only three minutes. “Any objection to telling me Avhatit is?” this as I sloivlv rose from my scat. “Yes, I liavo a decided objection to telling you iny private aifairs.” Ho Avas now getting out of temper. He Avas a powerful looking man, but I had never known fear, so 1 resolved to try his mettle a little. “Must be something not very good to tell connected with this button,” as I twirlca it between my fingers, •Ciirée you! can’t you hear the train coming?” honiuitcred. “Ifyou won’t give me the cursed trinket keep it, but for God’s sake stop the train.” “I Avill when you tell me Avlicro you got it or where the maté to it is,” I ansAvered. My “monkey” was up now and 1 Avas game to see the end of the play. The stranger’s “monkey” Avas up, too, for he whipped out a large seven shooter and shouted: “D—n you, get your lantern and flag that train, or, by G—d. I’ll send you to folIoAv the man Avho took tho mate to that button from me. Look lively, noAV; I Avarn you it’s unlucky to keep that trinket from me 1” The train Avas coming along rapidly. In about a minute it would pass unless stopped at once. By this time AA'é wore both in tho ticket office, and as tlie stranger uttered his last Avoids he Avas confronted by ^(iss Miliicr. It AA’as a strange sight to see that beautiful girl, clad in a Avhitc summer dress. Avalk tip to him Aviih a huge revolver in his grasp. “Giv’e me that pistol,” she said very quicth', but firmly and quickly. The man seemed dazed and handed the weapon to her in a mechanical sort of Avay. “Murderer 1” she hissed rather than spoke, “your oavu Avords have condemned yon. I am Colonel Milner’s daughter, and this is the happiest moment I have knoAvn since yon killed my father.” Before I could interfere site rai.scd the pistol and fired. The man dodged the bullet and ran quickly out of the door. As he reached the track the express thundered by, and the locomotive carried Avitli it, for a quarter of a mile, the corpse of the man who had escaped shooting only to die a more iiorriblc death. Colonel Itlilncr was avenged, but I Avas thankful that his daughter liad been spared the crime of murder, however justifiable it might haA’e been. I managed, too, to keep the story hushed up, and the country ueAVspapcrs devoted a short l)aragraph to the description of an accidental death on the railroad tracks. The next day Miss Milner AAcnt away, and I have nev’er seen her since. I am still agent at the Big Lick Junction, but no ripple has disturbed the stillness of my quiet stream of life since that eventful September evening. I have the pair of sleeve-buttons and the two revolvers in my possession yet, but I iieA’er wear the buttons, because, altliough not given to superstitious ideas, I imagine they may carry Avilh them ill luck.—[Philadelphia News. . H'heu You Are 8ad. BV L. D. R. AVIien YOU are Ba<l, I ask no more TIir laTish rights I duiuieil before, AVheii Bunrise    on    the boIb, Antt (tuncinz t‘> tlic wooing breew, Tbe laiigtiinK ripples kiseeil the shore. The morning glow of love is o’er; till, rosy «ircRins we <lrcanit of yore! 1 <lo but ask the least of thene, AV hen you arc sad. Let the fresh rtarlingron nrtore, AVith joy’s li'.'tit footstep cross th# floor; But licartlie lastof all inr pleas. And shut for all but me tbe door, AVhcu you are sad. An Abstract Transact ion. [Chicago News.] Senator Henry Evans recently had occasion to purchase an abstract relating to a piece of property oAvncd by him in the south division of this city. When he called for the abstract tlie bill v/as presented to him, and after looking it over for some min-ulce he humbly said : “I can’t pay all this to-day, but if It’s all the same to you I’ll give yon a deed of the property and make a note for the balance.” “But,” said the member of the abstract firm, “how do Ave know your note is good for anything?” “Oh, I’ll make that all right,” replied the Senator; “I’ll give you a chattel mortgage on the abstract.” “Very well,” said the abstract man, “but first M’e shall haA;c to submit the abstract to our attorney to aee if it is properly made out.” Tlio Riatiup Oot\he Ktltile. Bishop Solwyn, who interostcd himself greatly in the poor, one day, coming on a company of miners, heard them talking in a very animtted Avay, so loudly that he said to th«m; “My friends, something seems to interest you ail very much; I heard your voices quite iu the distance; may I inquire what it Is?” To Avhich they replied: “You sec that copper teakettle there? We found it, and we Avcre just saying that the one Avho could tell the biggest lie should ha\’C it.” “Oh 1” said tho Bishop, “I am sorry for that; I hope you will never again tell lies. ’Tis a fearful bad habit, and so unmanlv. Why, I never told a lie in my llfc.’^ Wherénpon the four miners shouted in one breath: “Giro tho governor the kettle.” Conzressman Gam»’ bill, providiiig that no funeral escort from Congrsss thail attend a deceased member boyond tbe limits ol Wtisblngion, ought to pass, and to put an end to a scandalous practice. It is bard enough in Credit Mobiiier ond Fan Electric times for living member* of Congress to avoid causing acandat. it ongbt not to be made harder lor the dead.—[New York 6un. It is to be hoped that hereafter Miss Cleveland’s line will be asaacrea in Washington soolely as Mason and Dixon’s line was, and that it will never bo passed save Id the sniiotiOod seclusion of the nuutiory. —[New York World. No one should delay when they have a cough or cold, when a 60 cent bottle of Biaeiow’fl Positive Cure will proinplly and safely cure tbcm. Dollar sise obcapext for fumiiy use or cbroulc uaact. Decisive Itattlefl of the World. 11‘rofessor Creasy.] The battle of Marathon, In Avhich the Persian hosts Avcro defeated by the Giecks under Miltiadcs, B. C. 490. The defeat of the Athenians at Syracuse, B. C. 419. The battle of Arbela, in Avhich the Persians, under Darius, Avcrc defeated by ihe invading Greeks, under Alexander the Great, B. C 331. The Battle ot Mctaurus, in which the Carthaginian forces, under Ilas-drubal, Aveve overthrown by the Romans, R. C. 207. Victory of the German tribes under Armiiiins OA’cr tho Homan Icirions under Varus, A. D. 9. (Tho battle was fought in AVhat is now tho province of Lippc, Germany, near the source of the river Kms.) Rattle of Chalons, Avhcrc Attila, the terrible King of tlic Htins, Avas repulsed bv the Romans under Actius, A. I). 4.M. Rattle of Tours, in Avhich the Saracen Turks invading Western EuroiKJ Avcre utterly ovcrthroAvn by the Franks under Charles Martel, A. D. 732. Battle of Hastings, by Avhich William ilie Conqueror became the ruler of England, October 14. lOGO. Victory of the French under .Toan of Arc over the English at Orleans, April 29,1429. Defeat of the Spanish Armada by the English naval force, July 29 and 30,1588. Battle of Blenheim, in which the French and Bavarians Avero defeated by (he allied armies of Great Britain and Holland under (he Duke of Marlborough, August 2,1704. Battle of IhiltoAva. tho SAVcdish army under Charles NIL defeated by the ilussians under I’etcr the Great, July 8,1709. Victory ot the American army under General Gates over (he British under General Bnrgovue at Saratoga, October 17,1777.    ‘ Battle of Vulniy, Avhcrc the allied armies of Prussia and Austria Avere defeated by the French tinder Marshal Kcllerman, September 20,1792. Battle of AVatcrloo, the allied forces of the British and Prussians "deieated the French untter Napoleon, the final overthrow of the trrcat commander, June 18,1815. A Bulgarian Aiiiazuii. rra'l Mall Gazette.] The AViddin correspondent of the St. Petersburg Novosti sends to that ncAvspapcr the following account of a young Bnlgarian girl who took an active part in tho late war against Servia, distinguished licrself at Slivt^jtza aud at Pirot aud received tAVO crosses for bravery. Previous to the outbreak of hostilities she Joined a company of militia—such companies were then forming iu various parts of Bulgarin—aud accompanied it to the southern frontier in the hope of there mooting Avith the enemy. During some time she managed to conceal her sex, for her comrades took her to be a youth Avith an cficniiiiatc face, of Avhich there were many such to be met with among the militia. Only the commander of her company knew her secret; she Avasobligcd to disclose it to him Avhen the company set out upon its march, and he appears to have loyally kept it to himself. In all exercises, parades and i-evietvs she took part jointly with her male comrades. At last, Avhen Servia declared Avar against Bulgaria, the heroine took part in the forced march into Servia, fought at the battle of Slivnitza and joined in the attack upon Pirot. During the light she did all she could to c neon rage her comrades and tliey, in return, unanimously voted to her the company’s medal for bravery. AVhen, in consequence of the war coming to an end, tho militia was dispersed, siic Avent to Sojihia, aud Avas there presented to Prince Alexander, who awarded to her a second decoration for bravery. She then returned to AViddin, her place of domicile before the Avar, where she acts as servant to an old lady. She says that should the Servians begin another Avar she will again fight against them, but in her Avonian’sattire, for it is not Avorth Avhile to change one’s dress for such an enemy. The Great Unknown. [Arknnsaw Traveler.] “AVIiat is your business?”a passenger on a railway train asked of a chance acquaintance. “I am a Avriter of popular novels.” “AVhat is yotir name.” “Nick Smith.” “AVell, I don’t believe I read any of your novels. But perhajts you employ a nom de plume ?” “Yes.” “AVhat is your pen name ?’’ “I change it very frequently.” “Why 80?” “AVclI, you sec, I am employed by a publishing house to contrnuo the Avorks of men who die in the zenith of their fame. I have finished ‘Hugh CoiiAvay/ and I am uoav Avaiting Ibr Wilkie (joliius to die.’' European Annies. [New York Star.j Europe is a vast camp. France maintains an army of half a million, Avhich in Avar can bo increased to three and three-quarter millions of men. Russia has a peace army of 750,000 aud can put 2,300,000 into the maintains one of increase it to over Turkey, Greece, nearly field. Austria 280,000, and can one million men. Roumania and Bulgaria have a million of trained soldiers among them. Italy maintains a regular army of 170,000 men, and can put in the field nearly two million fighters, keeping a permanent organization of 750,000 fighters. Thci*c is under arms or on call for service in the east of Europe, at least one million more. Tlie attitude of Germany is the key to all this vast armament. Her central position and powerful character make this the case. Sam. Joiiea and the liawycrs. Sometimes I’ve asked everybody that never told a lie to stand up. Ea'cit fellow was looking around to sec if anybody was going to get up. If anybody liad a-got up I’d a-givoti him (he floor and sat down. If you’d all stop lying you’d starve the hiAvyers to death. I like a grand lawyer avIio defends the good man from the assaults of tlie Avickcd. But these mean little $5 laAvycrs! They do some mean thing, anti then say: “1 did that as a lawvcr, not as a man.” ) (lown in licll I sup- When they droj pose tlioy'il go about saying: liere as a laAvvcr.” ■‘I’m To the Poiiir. [Wnbliingtoii Critic.] They avcic walking in the conservatory at the last AVhitc House reception. “AVill you love me Avith all your soul ?” she mnrruurcd. “Yes, darling,” he answered. “And all your heart?” “Yes, dearest.” “And ail your—” “Everything, darling, everything,” he intcrru itcd. “Pockctbook ?” she continued, not noticing tho interrujition. He gasped once and all Avas over. Mistook the Hiaiial. Jardtor King, of the Virginia City Court House, bought a piece of chccsc and put it in his overcoat pocket, aud afterward laid the coat down for a time. Then he put iu on and Avciit to a saloon, Avhere ho played cards for the drinks. He noticed, as he thought, that Tom Gracey, Avho Avas looking on, luidged him very often as a signal hoAV to play his cai'ds. Ho lost, and accused Gracey of misleading hint. AVhile Gracey was denying that he had touched him a big rat jumped out of King’s jiockct. lie had been feast-ingon the cheese and nudging the card player. A Case In Point. iWarlitneton Critic.] A tramp met Senator Voorhccs going to the Capitol this morning. “This is Mr. Voorhees, I belicA’C,” he said, politely touching his hat “Yes,” replied the Senator. “May I ask if you arc not iu favor of tho Urgent Deficiency bill ?” “I am.’^ “Ah I Then give me a quarter. I think I’ve got tho worst case ot urgent deficiency that has come before any Senator in a long time.” 'riie quarter Avas forthcoming. Women in Iowa. In Iowa 955 women own and direct farms, 18 manage farms, 6 OAvn and direct stock farms, 20 manage dairy farms, 5 own green houses, 9 manage market gardens, 13 serve as County Scliool Snperinlcndents, 37 iiianago high institutions of learning, 125 arc physicians, 5 attorneys at law, 10 ministers, 3 dentists, HO are professional nurses, and 1 is a civil engineer. A Avotnan also docs the largest fancy grocery hnsiiiess in the State. Her business aniounts to $80,000 annually. __ A Puzzler. [San Fruuciscnn.J A teacher in the public schools had promoted a little pupil, and meeting her a ícav days later said:    “AVcli, Mary, hoAvdo you get on iu your new class?” “Oh, pretty well. I missed in arithmetic to-day, but it was an awful hard question.” “jjot me hear Avliat the question Avas,” said the teacher. “It Avas, ‘How many chickens li.ad the boy ?’” said little Mary, and tho synqiuthizing teacher agreed that it Avas a puzzler. A New York Skiinkcry. [lUiclicster Democrat.] Arcade has a novel kind of a stock ranch, and llierc is. probably not another like it in AVestern New York. Mr. Samuel AVoolcott is the owner. It is no less than a place lor raising and breeding skunks for their hides. At present ho has a crop of 107 of the sweet smelling auiniais on hand. The idea is a novel one, and Avill be wutclicd Avith much interest by the public.____ Rrot liarte is ageing rapiuly, ami bis bftir is almost bito. The Djrine Shoemaker. BV C. 3. W, “Dear wife. I’m waxing near mv end,” The dring cohliler tmid; ‘•Soon to an upper world my sole Iu lonely way nnut tkrcmt. “I fciir, indeed, I'm Deg;ing ont; But then, wh.it lioots it ’.ove? Here we have Iwen a lilted pair. And so we'll be .ibore. “My Ills, I know, no drugs mar heel, So it’s welt to nrepare; We e.in't run counter to our fute— Just put a peg in there! ‘•The future need not give vou care. I’ve left mv iiwl to you; For deep witlnn my inner sole, I know that you’ve been true. “I’ve always given rou vour righu, But now yon must left; However, do not grieve too much Wheu of me you’re bcrclt. "A last farewell T now will t.ike;” He Hinlleu and rsisod his head, “B-last the cruel mnlady That lays you low.” she said. —[Norri»Uiwn Herald. Cl’RKENT FUN. Tba Mikado. A book coiitaining the complete Avorda and music of tbe most beautilul songs of “Tbe Mikado,” the latest great comio opera by Gilbert & Sulli-Tuu, w ill bo sent, postpaid, to any address on receipt often uents in stamps. The book contains etchings of all tbe chief cbarac-tors In tbe opera. Ten exquisitely colored picture cards acoompany each book, riiesc ubromo cards are uut defaced by ad-verlisemenis being printed on tbe pictures. Tbe Mack I’ublisbing Coinuuuy,626 and 630 Washington street, M. Y, * “Docs death end all?’’ Alas, no; there is the monument subicrlpllon fund.—[Boston Post. Yes, dear girl, the man to whom you gave tbe mitten is Irce. lie’s u maii-you-mitted. —[New Orleans picnyulie. Nevada has no fear of a Mormon invasion. Its soil won’t support a j ick rabbit, much less a Mormon.—[Omaha Bee. Giibei't and Sullivan’s next opera will be sonietbliig E.'yptiun, Out the plot Is kept secret Mummy’s tbe word.—[6t. Louie l’oBt-Disi»atcb. Mr. Jones—“I dread our host’s stories, they’re so long.” Mrs. Smith—“Y'ee, bat they’re not so long as they are broad.” —[Harper's Buz ir. Although Cincinnati keeps on having May music festivals. Boston still considers itself the musical center of'America.— [New York Tribune. Mrs. Whitney will so>n give a ball for the benefit of Washington newsboys. In this city the newsboys have to bawl for their own benefit.—[Boston Post. When the cry was sounded last night a gentleman was seen on his upper piazza in bis “Ma-Ilubbard,” bo'.di'og aloft a lighted lamp, looking for the tire.—[Florida Herald. Mistress: “Why, Della, what in the world have you done?” DHla; “Share, ma’am, the master said the gas was leaking, and i put up tbe pail to catch it.”— [I'ldbiM. A lasbiott item says sealskin s.acqnes are rapidly going out of fashion. We suspect by next Fourth of July not n sealskin sacque will be seen on the street.—[Norristown Herald. \Ttie Chinese have 5()3 books on etiquette, and yet these buathen ent rice with their fingers, ana apiiear in society with their shirt tl »ps hanging outwardly.—[New Orleans Picayune. Sain. Jones says the bes*, men are those who “spend most of their time on their knees.” Most of us, then, are good only in tbe spring and full, while puttiug down carpets.—[Pniladelphia Call. “The cockroaches in this house are re-markubly versatile,” said hu actor at a hotel table, picking up u biscuit. “1 DOtiCS lhat they appear In ditferent rolls ©very moriiiiig.”—[ Washington Critic. An old bachelor suggests tiie following topic for discussion at the annual convention of the Fremont Young Ladies’ Protective Assuciution:    “Resolved, That a wile’s wardrobe is dearer than herself.”— [Omaha Boo. A very bright woman, whose health doe* not thrive in the marine city ivbere her lord and muster lives and has his being, declares She will sue for a divorce on the ground of incompatibiity ot climate.— [Boston Herald. “A ben has to feet. He done it.” This was what Bujiertntendent Russell, of Brocktou, Mass., placed upon the blackboard lor tbe pupils to correct. This was the way one boy corrected it: “He didn’t done It, Uod douc it.”—[ Hoitou Journal ot Education. Student—“Rex fuglt—the king flees.” Proffcssor—“In what other tense can tbal furiu be m.adef” Student—“Perfect.” Professor-“Yes, and how would you then translate?” Painful silence. Professor suggests “has.” Slu.lent—“The king ha* fleas.”—[College E.xohange. Frank Waller was arrested ia Butler, Ua., on the supposition that he was Bill Walker, who was charged with murder. When taken to Forsyth for id'.niliiicatioti and told that be didn’t look at all like Walker, he grinned and said: “I knowed I wasn’t Bill Walker.”-[New York Sun. A.passenger says he had a novel e.X|»eri-ence at an eating station not more ttian a thousand miles from .Macon. Tho steak was a regular tough, and he nuirmured hi* complaint. The waiter remarked: “You are the tourth man that has kicked against that piece ot steak, and wo won’t stand lU” The passenger left it for the titth man.— .Macon Telegraph. Poultry lluisintc in the West. Mr. Joseph E UouUkoy, proprietor of th* Great Western Poultry Yards, St, I/vuis, Mo., writes that be tried to cure a cough and cold with uumeroiii cougli mixture* Hiui with physicians’ prescriptions, but got no benefit. Noticing the olaiin made tor Red Star Cough Cura that It coutaiued no opiates or narcotics, bs bought a bottle andwassooti thoroughly cured, i'he remedy, he says, does nut cause sick headache, and he pronounces it a boon to all sufier-ers. Price, Iwenty.five cents.    ' General Gordon will Govvruor of Georgia. enter the race ior

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