New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - October 31, 1995, New Braunfels, Texas
(4 n Herald-Zeitung O Tuesday, October 31,1995
■ To talk with Managing Editor Doug Loveday about the Opinion page, call 625-9144, ext. 21
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i t u n g
Q U O T
“Whenever I was upset by something in the papers, [Jack] always told me to be more tolerant, like a horse flicking away flies in the summer.”
— Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis first lady and book editor, 1994
Residents, organizations say “thank you to those who went the extra mile for them
Richard Wygle, Steve Paetznick, Preston Kennedy and Morris Smith, who handle hundreds of requests each year for help with beehives and offer information about Africanized and European honeybees.
HEB in New Braunfels for helping Bernice Melrose, of New Braunfels, for making her shopping experience at HEB pleasant. Bernice is disabled and is in a wheelchair; she does not get out often. Bernice complimented HEB for having an employee push her around while she shopped. “It was really nice of them to do it,” Bernice said. “I appreciate them doing it and I will come back again to HEB.”
The Eden Home board of directors for their dedication and hard work. They are all volunteers: Merritt Schumann, president; David Pfeuffer, vice president; Herb Schneider, treasurer; Hector Tamayo, secretary; Gilla Byrd; Warren Albrecht; Rev. Ernest Dean Jr.; George Baese; Irvin Meyer; Alice Buck; Rev. Robert Langtry; and Rev. Frank Horak.
On behalf of the Elliott Knox Nursing School Fund, McKenna Memorial Hospital would like to thank the following businesses and individuals for their participation in making this year’s pumpkin patch fund-raiser a great success. Your support is greatly appreciated. Applebee’s, Molly Joe’s, Gristmill Restaurant, Comal Flowers, Fancie Flowers, The Retreat Salon, Target,, Dr. Michael Tilly, Dr. James Bartay, Dr. Ray Elbel, Dr. Stan Handshy, Dr. Dee Elmore, Dr. Kern Deschner, John Turman, Luby’s, Pat’s Place, New Braunfels Smokehouse, Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, Felger and friends for Hair, Sno*Biz, the Herald-Zeitung, Dr. Steven Slagle, Dr. Mark kneuper, Dr. Henri Boodee, Dr. John Horan, Dr. Fernando Bazan, Anna Lee I licks, and Neda Barlow.
Ihe New Braunfels Kiwanis Club wishes to publicly thank the following sponsors who insured the success of our recent Charity Golf Tournament: Becker Motor Company, Bluebonnet Motors, Don Maxwell Chevrolet, Diamond Rite, Entex, Family Credit Service, Gold Star Exterminators, Gi an/in’s, H-E-B, Kwik Kopy, Norwest Bank, Rudy Omahana, Service Master, Symyns Corp., First State Bank, Texas Commerce Bank, U.S. Signs, and Victoria Bank. Also, the following, who provided prizes for longest drive and closest to die pin: K-Mart, Molly Joe’s, and True Value Hardware.
AII participants in the tournament had a great lime and look forward to even a more successful outing next year. The children’s charities which are supplied by the New Braunfels Kiwanis Club, however, will be the most significant winners.
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PosTMAjm-jt: Send address changes to the New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung, P.O. Drawer 311328, New Braunfels, Tx. 78131-1328.Opinion
■ To submit letters and guest columns electronically by way of online services or Internet, or to simply contact staff members, the Herald-Zeitung’s address is HZeitungOAOL.com.Equal treatment for doctors, I say
Up until recently I have been almost completely satisfied with this country’s medical care establishment, based on my experience of never having to use it. My exposure was pretty much limited to: (I) having my bank account drafted each month for medical insurance premiums in amounts large enough to satisfy home mortgage payments, for coverage that completely protects my family against every conceivable medical event, with the small exception of those which actually occur; and (2) having to watch Preparation H commercials on television. I don’t know which is worse.
Normally, I don’t pay much attention to commercials. What caught my eye about Preparation H commercials involves a camera shot of a doctor’s desk on which rests a pad of pre-printed checklists. As the voice, using tones you might expect would be reserved for discussing the Holocaust, lists all of the common symptoms for which Preparation H grants relief, a hand extending from the sleeve of a white lab coat checks off the dreaded symptoms:
[ ] Pain [ ] Swelling [ ] Burning [ ] Itching
(Tile sequence may be different than this in the actual commercial, but the elements are correct.)
So my fundamental question is, WHAT THE HECK KIND OF BB-HEADED DOCTORS ARE WE TRAINING that have to have a printed checklist for this ailment? Are they too lazy to write down “pain, swelling, burning, itching,’’ or even “the usual symptoms”? And what happens if someone comes in with symptoms that include, say, a sore throat or fever? Do they have to root around in their desks to find THAT checklist? Maybe that’s why you have to wait in the examining room so long for the doctor to come in—he’s looking for his stack of checklists!
Or perhaps this commercial is trying to depict the desk of a “specialist” whose practice is so limited that he or she never treats any other kind of ailment and therefore needs only one checklist. I guess I could see that, if the doctor’s office is Washington, D.C. or perhaps New York. Otherwise, I just feel that this commercial is not very realistic, you know?
So, except for these annoyances, I have been com-
pletely happy with my medical care, until last week. That’s when my son, in the sort of horseplay typical of a 15-year-old boy, broke his “clavicle,” which I always thought was a symphonic instrument, but turns out to be his collarbone. This little bobble enabled the medical care establishment to inflict itself upon us with vigor.
Now, before I begin to sound like some sort of whiner, I would like to make clear that I fully understand the necessity for obtaining certain types of personal information from patients and for keeping accurate records thereof. I AM a CPA, after all. I do so understand and agree.
It’s just a little hard to bear having to answer several rounds of non-urgent questions (“And what is your date of birth, Mr.
Allen?") when your child is sitting there with a bone protruding from his neck.
If you are not among the estimated 14 persons on Planet Earth who do not watch the television show “E.R.” every Thursday, then you know that hospitals deal with medical emergencies routinely and calmly every day. Practically nothing causes them to lose their cool.
EMS technician: “Help! We’ve got a load of AIDS orphans who got caught in a drive-by nuclear exchange!”
E.R. personnel: “Oh, well.”
So a fractured clavicle is probably no big deal, except to a worried parent. If routine administrative procedures take time, then so be it. We must have order.
I was thinking, though, that dealing with life-or-death emergencies every day may make The System insensitive to a patient’s fears and anxieties. And I recall that whenever anybody in the business world fails to recognize the unique circumstances of a customer’s age, gender, ethnicity, religion, lifestyle, body weight, or other defining qualities, he or she is immediately subjected to some form of Sensitivity Training. Perhaps our medical establishment could use some, too.
Here’s what I propose. If you are a healthcare
professional, such as a doctor, nurse, EMS technician, hospital administrator, insurance official, or Hillary Rodham Clinton, then you will have to wear a “Scarlet M” on your shirt identifying you as a medical person.
Then whenever you go into a business establishment for service, the staff can be ready to obtain all of the information necessary to serve you, just as if you were in a hospital.
* Restaurant—’’Welcome to our restaurant Before taking your order we must ask you to provide the following information: (I) die dates of each occurrence of dyspepsia, including the identity of the restaurant a description of the meal, the exact amount of the bill, including tip, and the credit caid used; and (2) a list of all known allergies, with full treatment histoiy.”
* Auto Mechanic—’’Hi, folks. Before I dismantle your car I need to know a few things about it (I) die dates of replacement of each engine component, including oil changes, since the date of purchase; (2) an engineering drawing of your typical passenger load distribution; and (3) an audited financial statement covering every year since college graduation.”
* Dry Cleaner—"We are pleased to inform you that we will begin cleaning your clothes just as soon as we receive the following: (I) detailed body measurements of you and every member of your family ; (2) a spectral analysis of any stain in your garment; and (3) a complete history of each garment’s cleaning, including a truthful disclosure of any use of Woolite within the past 12 months.”
Well, you get the idea. I encourage businessmen to use your own creativity to make up your own lists. This can be a fun party game!
Incidentally, my son is fine—fully engaged in the usual activities. I thought my own composure throughout the ordeal was impressive.
Anyone else who does not possess my innate serenity, however, might have experienced problems, whose symptoms include:
(Charles T. Allen is a New Braunfels CPA and humorist who may have been watching too much television lately.)
Today In History
. By The Assoc lated Press
Today is Tuesday, Oct. 31, the 304th day of 1995. There are 61 days left in the year. This is Halloween.
Today's Highlight in History:
On Oct. 31, 1517, Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the Wittenberg Palace church, marking the start of the Protestant Reformation in Germany.
On this date:
In 1795, English poet John Keats was bom in London.
In 1864, Nevada became the 36th state.
In 1926, magician Harry Houdini died in Detroit of gangrene and peritonitis resulting from a ruptured appendix.
In 1941, the U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a German U-boat off Iceland with the loss of 115 lives, even though the United States had not yet entered World War II.
In 1955, Britain’s Princess Margaret ended weeks of speculation by announcing die would not marry Royal Air Force Cap!. Peter Townsend.
In 1956, Rear Adm. G.J. Dufek became the first person to land an air
plane at the South Pole.
In 1959, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, Texas, announced in Moscow that he would never return to the United States. His name: Lee Harvey Oswald.
In 1967, Nguyen Van Thieu took the oath of office as the first president of South Vietnam’s second republic.
In 1968, President Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S. bombing of North Vietnam, saying he hoped for fruitful peace negotiations.
In 1984, Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi, a dominant figure in her country’s politics for nearly two decades, was assassinated near her residence by two Sikh security guards.
Ten years ago: The president of El Salvador, Jose Napoleon Duarte, met with President Reagan during a U.S. tour.
Five years ago: During a campaign swing in suburban Washington, President Bush said “I have had it” with the way Iraq was treating American diplomats and hostages, but added he had no timetable for deciding on a possible military strike.
One year ago: An American Eagle ATR-72, en route from Indianapolis to Chicago, plunged into a northern Indiana farm field in driving rain, killing all 68 people aboard.
I ............................ I
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Governor George W. Bush
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U.S. Senators for tha stat* of
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State Senator Jeff Wentworth
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Kay Bailey Hutchison
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Laredo, TX 78042
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