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New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - October 5, 1994, New Braunfels, Texas Page 4A ■ Wednesday, Oct. 5,1994 H etal d - Z e i t u n g Opinion ■ To talk with Managing Editor Mark Lyon about the Opinion page, call 625-9144, ext. 21Opinion O U 0 T A B L E “The role of the press is to inform society about problems, not to solve them.” - Reaver) Frank news executive, 1971 We know exactly what we’re doing to ourselves E D I I T 0 R I _i < Wishful thinking Candidate for criminal court of appeals lied about birthplace, legal experience Well, you can’t blame him for wanting to have been bom here. A candidate for the state’s highest criminal appeals court has misrepresented himself on things ranging all the way from his experience in criminal law to his birthplace, according to “Texas Lawyer" a legal weekly, and the Austin American-Statesman. Steve Mansfield, according to the legal publication, ; though he has said his experience has been “primarily criminal defense,” has spent most of his 16-year career as an insurance company attorney. The candidate for the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals also is reported to have said he had never before been a candidate for public office when, in fact, he twice ran for Congress from New Hampshire, losing in the* primaries in 1978 and 1980. He told the American-Statesman he had forgotten about those campaigns. It only cost $50 to file, he is quoted as having said, and he “just did it for the name recognition... I didn’t really feel that was a genuine run for office.” And Mansfield admits, according to the Austin paper, having said he was bom in Houston when, in point of fact, he wasn’t He really was bom in Brookline, Ma. “It is true that I was bom there,” the candidate told the American-Statesman, “but I basically grew up in Houston. We moved there when I was 3 or 4. But that’s true I said that. I was wrong and I shouldn’t have done it.” Those of us who really were bom in Texas sometimes fail to appreciate just how lucky we really are. Stop and think about it a minute. If you’d been born somewhere else and then discovered this great state, wouldn’t you be tempted to lie and say you’d been here all along? It would be tough to fault a guy for that. And the way Congress has been performing lately, you and I might be tempted to forget we had ever even thought about trying to be a part of that body, too, if, in fact, we had. (And, for the record, at least this part of us hasn’t.) As for having been a lawyer for an insurance company and thinking you were practicing criminal law on the side of the defense, well.... (Today’s editorial was written by David Sullens, editor and publisher of the New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung.) New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung Editor and Publisher............................................................David    Sullens General Manager............................................................Cheryl    Duvall Managing Editor..................................................................Mark    Lyon Advertising Director...........................................................    Paul    Davis Circulation Director....................................................Carol    Ann    Avery Pressroom Foreman...................................................Douglas Brandt Classified Manager....................................................Karen Reininger City Editor.....................................................................Roger    Croteau Published on Sunday mornings and weekday mornings Tuesday through Friday by the New Braunfels Herald Zeiiung (LISPS 377-880) 707 luanda St, or P.O. Drawer 311328, New Braunfels, Comal County, Tx. 78131-1328. Second class postage pad by the New Braunfels Herald-Zeiiung in New Braunfels, Texas. Carrier delivered in Comal and Guadalupe counties: three months, $19; six months, $34; one year, $60. Senior Citizen Discounts by carrier delivery only: bx months, $30; one year, $36. Mail delivery outside Comal County in Texas: three months, $28.80, six months, $52; one year, $97.50. Mail outside Texas: three months. $40, six months, $75; one year, $112.25. Subscribers who have not received a newspaper by 5:30 p.m. Tuesday through Friday or by 7:30 a.rn on Sunday ray call (210) 625-9144 or (210) 606-0846 (toll-free for Seguin, Marion, Garden Ridge, Bracken, Bulverde and San Antonio) by 7 p m weekdays ar by ll a. rn on Sunday. Postmaster: Send adikes* changes to the New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung, P.O. Drawer 311328, New Braunfels. Tx. 78131-1328. Guess what; Americans are too fat This fact was discovered recently by a panel of concerned experts and reported extensively in the news media, as though it were a shocking revelation. The truth, of course, is that we Americans already know we have a weight problem. We notice it every time we get out of the shower and look in the bathroom mirror and see our head sitting on top of what appears to be a towel-clad manatee. We notice it when we’re unable to get our wallet out of the back pocket of our relaxed-fit jeans without the aid of power tools. We notice it every time we tune in to TV talk shows, which discuss weight control almost as much as they discuss major national issues, by which I mean O. J. Simpson. We notice it whenever we go to a mall and observe our fellow Americans, many of whom could not run the 100-meter dash in under four days, waddling around in logo-intensive stretch-fabric athletic wear, as though at any moment they’re going to be called upon to represent the United States in the Big Butt Olympics. So we know we’re too fat. But that did not stop a panel of concerned experts from reminding us. This was a different panel from the one that announced recently that — gel ready — Mexican food contains a lot of fat. The media jumped on this story as if the experts had come up with conclusive proof that Robert F. Kennedy was a woman. This is also how the media reacted when previous concerned expert panels announced that there was fat in Italian food, Chinese food, fast food, any breakfast food that does not taste like mulch, and of course the ultimate Death Food — movie popcorn, which, as I recall from the wildly excited press coverage, contains more fat in one kernel than all the lard consumed by allied troops in World War II. You got the impression, from the media, that after a movie ends the ushers have to use forklifts to clear the bloated corpses out of the theater. What I want to know is, do these expert panels honestly believe we don’t know what these foods contain? Do they believe that when we go to a Mexican restaurant, we don’t notice that virtually every dish consists of beef fat fried in grease topped with cheese and sour cream and garnished with individual cholesterol molecules the size of squash balls? We know perfectly well that we’re eating fat. We just wish you experts would stop REMINDING us. Because the truth is, we LIKE fat. Fat tastes GOOD to human beings. That’s the way we were designed by Mother Nature (who herself is a size 24). That’s why we DON’T eat what you experts nag us to eat, namely, 27 individual portions per day of raw fruits and vegetables. We don’t want to live like some rabbit, nibbling nervously at a carrot, terrified because at any moment it could be eaten by an owl. We want to be like the mighty lion, which fears nothing and eats Mexican food whenever it chooses. Perhaps our diet is not so good for our hearts, but consider this: Of all the nations in the industrialized world, the United States ranks third-lowest in the number of people eaten each year by owls. But we never hear this kind of good news from panels of concerned experts. They’re too busy doing studies to prove yet again that we weigh too much and eat the wrong foods and don’t exercise enough and watch too much TV and raise our kids wrong and smoke and drink and secretly pick our noses. And they LOVE to remind us that we’re stupid. Coming up with new ways to point out die stupidity of Americans is probably the single most popular activity in the concerned-expert community. Just about ever week you read a news story in which experts announce an alarming new study showing that seven out of every IO Americans don’t know how many limbs they have, or cannot correctly identify their home planet. I want you concerned experts out there to put your ears down next to the page and listen closely to what I am about to say: WE KNOW WE’RE STUPID. You don’t have to keep reminding us. We see the evidence all around us every day. For example: Virtually everybody who drives in front of me is an idiot. I constantly find myself behind drivers who are startled and baffled by virtually everything they encounter, as though they’ve never been outdoors before. They’ll see, for example, a free, and immediately they hit their brakes, as if they expect the free to leap into the middle of the road. They also brake for mailboxes, buildings and their own rearview mirrors. But above all they brake for the most disturbing and mysterious of all earthly phenomena, a green traffic light, which causes them to come to a virtual standstill, paralyzed, until the light turns yellow and then red, at which point they accelerate to 275 miles per hour and shoot through the intersection, leaving me stuck at the light, shouting until spittle covers the dashboard. My point, concerned experts, is that we Americans already know what we’re like. You don’t need to keep telling us. Your message has penetrated even our fat, stupid brains. Some days we get so depressed about it that we think about committing suicide by deliberately swallowing movie popcorn. We would wash it down with diet soda. (Dave Barry is a syndicated columnist with Tribune Media Services, Inc.) Raid on militia applauded, but danger remains By DAVID BEARD Associated Press Writer Analysis PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti (AP) — Prominent supporters of exiled President Jean-Bertrand Aristide cautiously applauded U.S. raids on proarmy militia centers, but said the United States must go much further to pave the way for democracy. ’The guys they took today are small fishes,” the Rev. Jean-Yves Urfie, publisher of the pro-Aristide newspaper Libete, said Monday after U.S. troops raided militia headquarters in the capital and in the northern town of Cap Haitien. ‘‘It’s nice to have sardines,” Urfie said, ‘‘but we are waiting for sharks on the menu.” After a week in which the U.S. goal of stability was repeatedly shaken by violent outbursts from Aristide foes, the Americans cast a dragnet Monday over offices of the hated paramilitary organization FRAPH, the Front for the Advancement and Progress of Haiti. Today in history By The Associated Press Today is Wednesday, Oct. 5, the 278th day of 1994. There are 87 days left in the year. Today’s Highlight in History: On Oct 5,1921, the World Series was broadcast on radio for the first U.S. Army soldiers detained 40 people at FRAPH centers in Port-au-Prince and 75 in Cap Haitien. In the northern town, the LLS. troops swarmed over a FRAPH office during a meeting of the organization, according to an Army spokesman, Maj. Ken Fugett. In POrt-au-Prince, the raid on the central FRAPH headquarters was followed by a jubilant demonstration by hundreds of Haitians who gleefully wrecked the furnishings of the militia building. “We love you! We love you!” people shouted to the Americans before swarming over the adobe building and smashing its contents to bits. Although U.S. officials initially characterized the raids as searches for weapons, not people, Fugett later said they were aimed at least partly at people suspected of responsibility for last week’s violence. The Army did not identify the time, with sportswriter Grandam! Rice describing the action between the New York Yankees and the New York Giants (who won the series). On this date: In 1813, the Battle of the Thames was fought in Upper Canada during the War of 1812. The British troops Haitians who were detained. But Urfie noted that they did not include several leaders of the anti-Aristide factions, including FRAPH leader Emmanuel Constant, Police Chief Michel Francois and army chief Raoul Cedras. Urfie and others cheered the FRAPH takeovers, and the arrests on Sunday of several paramilitary officials, including the leader of Cedras’ private militia. They said the crackdown was overdue. “I think that the Haitian people have a greater chance to see their sovereignty will be implemented,” said the Rev. Gerard Jean-Juste, an official in the Aristide government, referring to Haitians’ overwhelming vote for Aristide in 1990 elections election. “We are on our way to vindication,” he added. He criticized the plea by U.S. Rep. Newt Gingrich, R-Ga., to pull out American troops before democracy is restored. He contrasted Gingrich’s under- were soundly defeated, and their Indian ally, Tecumseh, was killed. In 1830, the 21st president of the United States, Chester Arthur, was bom in Fairfield, Vt In 1892, the Dalton Gang, notorious for its train robberies, was practically wiped out while attempting to rob a pair of banks in Coffeyville, Kan. cutting of U.S. policy with former President Carter’s agreement to ensure the departure of the coup leaders. “Our crucifixion and our salvation both come from Georgia,” Jean-Juste said. Carter has been criticized by other Aristide supporters for offering the coup leaders a deal that guaranteed amnesty and did not require them to leave the country. Last week’s violence in Port-au-Prince raised questions about the U.S. mission, and many Haitians complained that the U.S. Army was not doing enough to protect them from the police, paramilitaries and civilian “attaches” who have waged a campaign of terror against many Aristide supporters over the past several years. After Monday’s raids on FRAPH, an organization that was central to the brutal image of Haiti’s ruling elite, U.S. officials insisted that their mission had not changed course, but only continued to develop. In 1931, Gyde Pangbom and Hugh Herndon completed the first non-stop flight across the Pacific Ocean, arriving in Washington state some 41 hours after leaving Japan. In 1937, saying, “The epidemic of world lawlessness is spreading," President Roosevelt called for a “quarantine” of aggressor nations.    ' ;