New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - January 20, 1987, New Braunfels, Texas
Dad’s ‘Personal Shopper’ Is Ignored in Children’s Thanks
DEAR ABBY: I am married to a man who has two children by a previous marriage. The children are 13 and 16 years old, and live with their mother in another state.
Here’s the problem: My husband is quite remiss about .sending gifts to his children on their birthdays and holidays, so I have always done the shopping. I try to select tasteful, appropriate gifts for each child. I even buy lovely cards that my husband signs: “With love from Dad.”
I find myself feeling very resentful when the children write and express thanks to him, seldom thanking me unless instructed to do - which is even worse.
Should I quit spending my time selecting gifts for them? Or do you think I am being selfish and expecting too much? I should add that my relationship with his children is an amiable one.
RESENTFUL IN TEXAS
DEAR RESENTFUL: His children have no way of knowing their gifts were selected by you when the cards are signed, “With love from Dad” — unless, that is, “Dad” tells them. You say the children seldom thank you unless instructed to do so. Who instructs them? If the “instructor” is Dad, then it would be much more generous and straightforward if the cards read: “With love from Dad and ( )” (whatever they call
you). Settle this now to ensure that the relationship with your husband is also an amiable one.
DEAR ABBY Your advice to “Heidi in Paulding, Ohio" brought back some precious memories Heidi complained that nobody ever an swered her letters, so you advised her to send a stamped, self-ad dressed envelope
I had a younger brother I used to write to, but he would never answer my letters, so I sent him an SASR and even enclosed some paper to write on. With it I sent a note: "Please write back and at least say Hi!”
Well, he did His letter read “Dear Sis: Hi I’m fine Bye. Dive. Wayne
Eighteen months ago. the day before his 29th birthday, my be loved brother died of cancer
My little joke of sending him an SASE envelope worked because after that he wrote more often and we talked on the phone a lot But that first letter is one of my most cherished possessions
By the way I tried the same thing with my older brother, but it didnt work. He still writes only once a year — at Christmastime.
SUSAN IN GOSHEN ( ALIF
DEAR SUSAN: I send my heartfelt sympathy at the loss of your beloved brother. Maybe your older brother will see this and send you a Valentine.
DEAR ABBY After you printed that letter from “Paul in La Mirada,” who enrolled in law school at age 42 and is soon to graduate. I had to write.
I served 30 years as a naval officer. After that I had two busi nesses — real estate in Florida and buffalo raising in South Dakota
Then I entered law school at age
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A Crazy Comedy!
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61.1 am now 70 and have a thriving law practice.
E K. HALSEY, VERO BEACH, ELA DEAR MR. HALSEY: Congratulations. It’s too late to fulfill your dream only if you think it is.
Now for an encouraging word from a neighboring state:
DEAR ABBY: Thanks for the boost to older college students. At Kennesaw College in Marietta, Ga., there is even a name, SOTA (Students Over the Traditional Age), for students who are over 25 years old.
With a fall quarter enrollment of 7,297, 1,712 students were 30 or over. Of these, 526 were 40 or over; 92 were 50 or over; and 14 were between 65 and 72!
With such a dynamic campus, there’s certainly no generation gap bere!
A HAPPY SOTA DEAR ABBY: Mike and I have been married for 14 years and have
tw’o wonderful children, but life has not been easy for me with this man. Along the way he picked up a lot of bad habits such as drinking, smoking four packs a day. gambling and staying out all night.
About a year ago he became a “new” man. He quit drinking, smoking, gambling, and he stays out only one night a week — on Saturdays.
He finally broke down and con fessed that he’s been seeing another woman, and he owes it all to her! He was honest enough to confess, but how can I tell him not to see her any more when she did more to make a man out of him than I did?
ON THE SPOT
DEAR ON: Once you give your husband permission to “see” another woman, you can say goodbye to your marriage. Regardless of what your husband “owes” her, he shouldn’t be paying it off with what belongs exclusively to you.
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1987 United Feature Syndicate
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