New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - February 26, 1985, New Braunfels, Texas
New Braunfels Herald Zeitung P O. Box 361
New Braunfels, Texas 78131
rv General Manager Hobart Johaeoa, EditorAndy RooneyAndy Rooney has some laws
Every legislative body is always passing more laws. Recently they've even been passing laws that not only protect us from each other but from ourselves as well.
I was thinking of some laws that might be good for them to enact:
— Declare a ceiling on laws. Neither Congress nor any state legislature could pass a law without first rescinding an old one to make room for the new one.
t Car manufacturers would be banned from building cars that can go faster than it’s legal to drive in this country. This would probably lead to a change in the legal speed Limit.
— Make it illegal for anyone to go to a dirty movie without his or her mother. This would include mothers. Even a mother couldn’t go to one without her mother. These would be known as MOM-rated movies.
— I .ast year 6,824 Americans were killed in pedestrian accidents. Add a sentence to the seat belt laws passed in some states, making it illegal to cross the street.
— Set up police road blocks and have officers check for
junk in the glove compartments of cars. Anyone found with old, outdated road maps, broken pencils, unmatched gloves or dark glaiiei with one lens missing would have to return to “go."
— Part of the driver’s test would be a seat belt time trial. Anyone would be denied a license who could not fasten or unfasten a seat belt in less than one minute.
— The poet office would start charging a nickel for a stamp for a personal letter and $5 for a stomp on any piece of mail that contained advertising the recipient didn’t want.
— Young children would travel for half the fare on the airlines only if strangers who got assigned seats next to them also went for half fare.
— Nothing is more repulsive to a non-smoker than cigarette butts in an ash tray on a dinner table. A line on every package of cigarettes sold would advise smokers that In a restaurant they'd have to eat their own cigarette butts when they finished smoking them.
— When there are more than five people in any line, it would be mandatory for the airline, the bank or the checkout counter at the supermarket to open a new counter or window. If anyone had to wait in line for more than six minutes for anything, that person would get it free.
— Drivers who turn on their right turn blinker just as they start to turn right would have to go back to driving school.
— Anyone advertising something "free” when it really isn’t would get an all-expense paid trip to Beirut.
— Everyone would have to get a driver’s license for a shopping cart. Anyone who blocked the aisle in a supermarket would have his or her shopping cart driver’s license revoked for IO days for the first offense, a year for the second and lose it for life for the third offence.
— People who take their shopping carts to the parking lot and leave them so they block a parking space would be
— No company would be allowed to reduce the size of a box, a bottle, a can or a tube of anything without announcing it in full page advertisements as big as the one announcing the product was “new and improved! ”
— It would be illegal for a television network to promote the idea that a sporting event begins at 3:30 when they mean their show begins at 3:30 but the actual event doesn’t start until 5 p.m.
— Batteries would be included as part of the package with everything that needs them.
— Anyone keeping another person’s name in a computer storage bank would have to inform the person whose name was stored there and advise him or her of the purpose. If the person didn’t want his name in the computer, it would be removed.
— A depositor would have the right to ask a bank to keep his or her money separate from everyone else’s, in cash, if the person chose to have it that way.Your representatives
Sen. John Traeger Texas Senate Capitol Station Austin, Texas, 78711
Rep. Edmund Kuempel Texas House of Representatives P.O. Box 2910 Austin, Texas 78769
Sen. Phil Gramm United States Senate Washington D.C., 20510
Rep. Mac Sweeney (Guadalupe County) U.S. House of Representatives Washington, D.C., 20515
Rep. Tom Loeffler U.S. House of Representatives 1212 Longworth House Office Bldg Washington, D.C. 20515
Gov. Mark White Governor's Office Room 200 State Capitol Austin, Texas 78701
Sen. Lloyd Bentsen United States Senate Room 240 Russell Bldg Washington, D.C. 20510MailbagCanyon Lake resident questions need for special ambulance
To the Editor:
In your paper of 2-14-85. Coma/ County Nows, was an article pertaining to the Canyon I .ake Fire Department and Ambulance Service, that I would Uke to respond to, in “Your Letters to the Editor.”
Response the the New Advance Life Support System Ambulance:
First of aU, I would Uke to praise the Canyon lake Fire Department and Ambulance Service for their loyal service to the
community, and all of the Volunteers and Auxiliary persons, for their time and effort. They are much appreciated.
However, I do have some real great concern on my mind, as to the purchase of one. or mort, Advance Life Support System Ambulance at this time. I would much rather see more well equipped ambulances, weU trained drivers, and basic trained personnel, with continuing training, baaed all around the Lake area, than to have one, or two, very
expensive ambulances in one, or two, areas.
The response time, for any ambulance, is most important and get the patient to the Emergency Room, and not some one at the Station, debating, if I have pains in my chest. (X abdominal area, as to whether or not, I am having a heart attack, or gall bladder attack, as to whcih unit should be dispatched. It is not up to the Volunteer to diagnose ar prescribe, but to relay vital signs, symptoms, etc and give Basic First Aid, and relay
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these signs, to either the Emergency Room, or Doctor, then proceed, from their order’s. Otherwise you are apt to have some Malpractice suits on your hands ...
If the Fire Department pays all the bills and maintains all of the equipment, why does the Ambulance Service feel they have to be separate, from the Fire Department? Many volunteers serve in both Departments, plus hold full time jobs. I’m sure the Fire Department could also use some new equipment, and more volunteers.
At present, the Fire Department, is operating in the “black," so please don’t start getting ahead of ourselves financially. This AIS Ambulance would be expensive to buy, maintain, and the training of Vaunters,
then they are going to want a salary The
present service seems quite adequate and affordable Sure I’d love a Cadillac, but only can afford a Ford, but it still gets me there. Also it’s paid for ...
If we were a large Metropolitan area
(thank goodness we aren’t, as that is the reason we live in the area), then I would be all for it, but we are spread out all around the Lake area, so it seems much more logical to have more well equipped ambulances and attendants, stationed all around the Lake area, which would seem more suitable to meet our needs at the present time. Maybe in the near future we will have enough population, that would require them, but definitely not now.
Thanks again to all of the Volunteers, of both the Fire Department and the Ambulance Service, for giving yoni time and effort, also to those who contribute their money, we need you all. Most people don’t appreciate your services until they need you. Then quick response time is the most important.
Sincerely, Mrs. Margaret L. Parker, R.N.
The Herald Zartung welcomes the opinions of its readers, and we’re happy to publish letters to the editor.
Letters are published on the Opinions page as soon as they are received, unless delayed by space limitations.
While readers’ opinions on local issues generally are of more interest to other readers, we welcome letters on any topic
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— that the writer chooses to address. Content will not prevent publication
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Send your letter to: Mailbag, New Braunfels HarakfZartunq, P.O. Drawer 361, New Braunfels Texas, 76131. Letters may also be hand delivered to the newspaper offices at IM S. Cattail.