New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - February 18, 1997, New Braunfels, Texas
4 Cl Herald-Zeitung D Tuesday, February 18, 1997
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QUOTABLE“Nations, like men, are wary of truth, for truth is too often not beautiful.”
Addison Gayle Jr educator, author, 1970Helping victims of domestic violence
E D I T O Ft I A LKudos
(Kudos is a regular feature of the Herald-Zeitung in which readers can recognize the work or support of individuals or organizations. Send your Kudos to: Herald-Zeitung, 707 Land a St., New Braunfels, TX 7 HUO, or fax them to (210) 625-1224).
,George A. Ciarcia VFW Memorial Post No.
11050 wants to extend its gratitude and a thank-you to the following comrades, sisters, local patriots and students for helping with Adopt-A-Highway Trash Cleanup on Highway 46 during Super Bowl Weekend.
VFW members participating were Marvin L. Brown, C huck Burgess, Thomas F. Claxton, Robert G. Cruz, Marvin L. Ciiambemardi, Ronald W.
Harris, Rnrique N. Montanez Sr.,Glenn J. Morris, Jessie D. Perez Jr., Charles H. Schumann, Juan Tristan and Valentine Valdez. Auxiliary members Emestina Medina and Amanda F. Perez and local patriot Juan “J.D” Perez.
Other volunteers were Canyon High School students Antonio F. Perez and Carlyle Perez, Canyon Middle ScHbol student Christopher H. Perez, Seek* Elementary student Leticia Cruz, Memorial Elementary student Christopher I tarns, from Seguin, Joe F. Saegert Middle School student Christina Medina, and F. R. Weinert Elementary student Inez Medina.
The VFW Post is planning its spring cleanup project, the 12th annual Great Texas Trash-off scheduled for April 5.
A job well done.
Aurelia Joe" Medina Commander, VFW hist 11050Write us
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By MICHELLE BARR
Special to the Herald-Zettunq
It is very difficult to stand by and watch a family member or close friend who is involved with an abusive partner. Unfortunately, we have found that it is very difficult to convince a woman to leave such a situation until she comes to the decision to leave on her own or asks for your help. Even then, many will return to the abusive relationship an average of seven to eight times.
Things you can do arc:
1. Get information Understand the cycle of abuse, the characteristics of a battered woman and an abuser, the dynamics of abusive relationships and how prevalent they arc in our society
2. Talk to someone ah* nit how this is affecting your own life You are considered a secondary victim and arc likely to be very affected by this other person’s behavior and choices Counselors are available at the ( oinal County Women’s Center as well as in the community who can help you work through the feelings and frustrations and fears you may be experiencing
You cannot control what others ck), you can control how you let others’ behaviors affect you.
3. Arrange for an intervention. You may gather together close friends and family and ask a counselor or other skilled person to mediate a meeting in which you ask the victim to come and talk to you and when she arrives, you arc all there to talk to her. The mediator will usually explain why these friends and family have come together and let the victim know that this is a safe place to discuss what is going on in her life. One by one, the people present will then have a chance to tell the victim how the situation makes them feel, whether they are afraid for her safety, angry at having to witness acts of violence, upset at the effect on the children, sad that they have lost the victim from their lives, etc,
4 When children are involved, make a plea for their sakes There is currently much evidence that children who are witnesses to acts of violence and abuse in their homes are 60 times more likely to be at risk for offending behavior as teens, including drug and alcohol abuse They are highly likely to grow up and become involved in relationships in which they abuse or allow themselves to he abused by others. Suggest that the victim seek help for her children through their school counselors or through professionals.
5. Ask the victim to agree to speak to someone about the abuse. Counselors who work with victims of domestic violence often begin seeing them while they are still involved in the abusive relationship. Sometimes it takes a woman a long time to leave. Counselors can educate the victim about the cycle of violence, help her explore options before leaving, help her process the variety of feelings she is experiencing, help her to devise a safety plan, provide legal advocacy and personal advocacy, and be available when she leaves to provide emergency shelter and other assistance so that she can start a new life. Support groups are also available where women can come together and hear the experiences of other women who are right where they are or who have been there in the past and come through to the other side Groups focus on positive attributes such as self-esteem, self-nurturing, and self-protection as well as skills such as improving quality of life, problemsolving and seeking out support systems.
lf the victim does not want to agree nght away to see someone, write down all the information you have on local resources, names and phone numbers, times when support groups meet, etc.,
put them in an envelope and give them to the person. She may refer to them in private once you are gone or at a later time.
Locally, victims of domestic violence can call the Comal County Women’s Center at 620-7520 or the 24-hour hotline at (800) 434-8013. A support group currently meets from 6 to 7 p.m. Mondays. Counselors for women and children are available Monday through Friday by appointment; for appointment or more information call 620-7520.
Remember that, although you yourself arc experiencing a variety of feelings about this person and her situation, the more you can remain calm, focused on the problem, non-judgmental, non-blaming, compassionate and patient, you will be a great help to the victim of domestic violence.
(Michelle Barr. M. Ed., is on the staff al the Comal County Women s Center).
Coining to terms with the possibility of surviving AIDS
After recent information readied us from the International Conference on AIDS in Vancouver, Oley say that in the near future, living with AIDS will soon become a chronic manageable discase and some are believing it' So wha! am I to do now’’ It lias taken several years now, watching close friends die, then fighting my own battle with this disease, to begin to come to terms with this dam thing. Now tile game is changing. I might just have to face the idea of what I ain going to do with the rest of my life,
Up till now I sofia ted like I have wasted my life I have no usable higher education and ani faced with the dilemma of what to do with my future I have worked successfully here in New Braunfels in the past I have, since my diagnosis, become the advocates’ advocate for this disease and have tried to be a good role model for those infected and living with NIVToday in History
The Associated Press
Today is Tuesday, Feb. 18, the 49th day of 1997 There are 316 days left in the year Today’s Highlight in History:
On Feb. 18, 1861, Jefferson Davis was sworn in as president of the C onfederate States of America in Montgomery, Ala On this date:
In 1916, Mary Tudor, the Queen of England popularly known as ’’Bloody Mary,” was bom in Greenwich Palace.
In 1946, Martin Luther, leader of the Protestant Reformation in Germany, died In 1964, the amit Michelangelo died in Rome.
In 1889, Mark Twain’s “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” was published in
I have tried without a lot of success to get advance education introduced into the schools to promote prevention among teens ages 14 tol9 years. This age group has the number one ranking for rate of infection But with this new hope facing us, I may have to re focus my energies I (lave lived only this disease since my diagnosis.
I arn full of mixed emotions about this whole new idea All of us are faced with the idea of having to get along with living and getting along with this fatal disease becoming chronic and manageable. Although this is
the United States for the first time In 1930, the ninth planet of our solar system, Pluto, was discovered.
In 1993, “Bwana Devil,” the movie that heralded the 3-D fad of the 1950’s, opened in New York.
In I960, the eighth Winter Olympic (james were formally opened in Squaw Valley, Calif., by Vice President Richard Nixon In 1970, the C hicago Seven defendants were found innocent of conspiring to incite riots at the 1968 Democratic national convention.
In 1972, the California Supreme Court struck down the state's death penalty.
In 1977, the space shuttle Enterprise, sitting atop a Boeing 747, went on its maiden “flight” above the Mojave Desert ran southeast California. In 1988, Anthony M. Kennedy was
what we have all worked toward, there is a real fear moving among us not only the fear of now living, but how to live. Many of us gave up successful careers and changed our pcrsonaf lives to focus on living, fighting and managing this disease.
The energy used to get us this far is going to have to be met with a comparable level of strength in gaining new knowledge into new careers and lives. Many of us are waiting anxiously to return to the Job market but are finding it increasingly difficult to re-enter due to the fact, as we may be getting stronger, we are still infected with HIV, but are survivors of the epidemic. We will always have NIV and that idea scares many potential employers “What if I live?” I will face this new task in my life with courage and determination. The courage and determination that was so graciously
sworn in as the 104th justice of the U S Supreme Court.
Ten years ago: President Reagan, responding to questions that his chief of staff, Donald T. Regan, might be on the way out, said, “This is up to him.” (Regan did resign, nine days later.)
Five years ago: In the New Hampshire primary, President Bush won the Republican contest while challenger Patrick Buchanan placed a considerably strong second; among Democrats, Paul Tsongas came in first.
One year ago: A member of the Insh Republican Army blew himsdf up and wounded nine other people when the briefcase bomb he was carrying detonated accidentally on a double-decker bus in London’s West End.
Today's Birthday!: Singcr-musi-clan Pee Wee King is 83. Actor Jack
given to me by a loving community that has never viewed me as that tragic AIDS victim and shunned me. But as Robert, a member of this community that just so happened to have acquired a fatal discase.
It is so very important to remember that the battle is not over; these new treatments are not a cure. This news about new drugs and treatments is just a small step in a long journey. And I must repeat myself and say the need for accelerated education in our junior high and high schools is so very important.
“What if I live?” I will do so with strength and dignity! in what is the finest community in which to live and one that I am glad to call my home.
(Robert Konkel is an A IDS activist and a resident of New Braunfels).
Palance is 76 Cosmopolitan editor! Helen Gurley Brown is 75. Actor! George Kennedy is 72. Sen. John* Warner, R-Va., is 70. Movie director; Milos Forman is 65 Singer Yoko Ono is 64 Singer lima Thomas is 56. Singer Herman Santiago (Frankie Lymun and the Teenagers) is 56. Singer Dermis; DeYoung (Styx) is 50. Actress Cybill Shepherd is 47. Singer Juice Newton is; 45. Singer Randy Crawford is 45. Rock musician Rubble Bachman is 44. Actor John Travolta is 43. Game show hostess Vanna White is 40. Actress Greta; Scacchi ii 37. Actor Matt Dillon is 33. Rapper Dr. Dr* is 32.
Iliought for Today: “Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.” Georg Wilhelm* Friedrich Hegel, German philosopher (1770-1831).