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New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - February 14, 1991, New Braunfels, Texas Page 12    Herald-Zt/fung, New Braunfels, Texas Thursday, February 14, 1991 Dear Abby Ten Commandments of Love serve as guide to family harmony KYLE CHRISTIAN VAN DYKE Horn October 7, 1990 in New Braunfels, Texas. Weight at birth 8 lbs. 5 oz. Length 21V* inches. Proud Mom and Dad arc Kelly and Blake Van Dyke. Grandparents arc Pat and Creg McKay, Laura and Noble Van Dyke. DEAR READERS: What better day to revive my Ten Commandments of Love! Yes, Dear Readers, I actually had the chutzpah to write my own Ten Commandments — but that was more than 20 years ago when I was younger and knew everything. Originally, I had written two sets of commandments — one for men and one for women. Then an early feminist from Milwaukee wrote, demanding equality for women, insisting there should be one set of commandments for both genders. She won. So how is this for a gender bender? THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF LOVE Thou shalt put thy mate before thy mother, thy father, thy son and thy daughter, for thy mate is thy lifelong companion. Abuse not thy body with excessive food, tobacco or drink, that thy (bys may be many and healthful in the presence of thy loved ones. Permit neither thy business nor thy hobby to make of thee a stranger to thy children, for the most precious gift a parent giveth his or her family is time. Forget not the virtue of cleanliness. Make not thy mate a beggar, but willingly share with thy mate thy wordly goods. Forget not to say, “I love you.” For even though thy love may be constant, thy mate doth yearn to hear those words. Remember that the approval of thy mate is worth more than the admiring glances of a hundred strangers, so cleave unto thy mate, and forsake all others. Keep thy home in good repair, for out of it cometh the joys of old age. Forgive with grace. For who among us does not need to be forgiven? Honor the Lord thy God all the days of thy life, and thy children will rise up and call thee blessed. DEAR ABBY: I’ve been dating a man for nearly two years. He has never been married, and I am-a widow. He earns about one and a half times the salary I make. Our financial obligations are about even. I’ve given him several small gifts for no special reason except I wanted to please him. (Once it was a tin of gourmet cat food for his pet.) I have had him over to my house for nice dinners quite often. He keeps telling me how much he enjoys home cooking. He has taken me to dinner occasionally, but he says he doesn’t enjoy eating out much. As Christmas approached, he told me he didn’t enjoy Christmas. I thought he meant because it had become so commercial and had gotten so far away from the original meaning of the holiday. I gave him a $40 sweater. He gave me a $2.98 paperback book because he doesn’t enjoy shopping. When my birthday rolled around, I discovered he didn’t “enjoy” birthdays, either. I didn’t even get a card. I finally told him I thought he was cheap, and he reminded me that he had installed washers on a leaky e doesn’t enjoy movies, but he spigot in my kitchen. (joy n enjoys television. There are so few things this man enjoys I wonder what’s wrong with him. What do you think?ANONYMOUS IN SAN BERNARDINO DEAR ANONYMOUS: I think he “enjoys” saving a buck. “How to Be Popular" la for everyone who feels left out and wants an improved social life. Ifs an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, businesa-sise, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $8.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, 111. 61054. (Postage is included.)Medical Focus Tips On Working With Dementia Eden Home, through its Alzheimer program, has found the following information as being valuable regarding certain mental conditions prevalent in the elderly. The article is shared in the hopes that it will be of support to those who are care givers in our community. Eden Home participates in the Alzheimer Support Group and recommends that if you have a loved one that has conditions similar to those mentioned in this article that you may want to contact the support group or the Alzheimer Coordinator at Eden Home. Communication Problems The ability to communicate with a demented person varies as the progression of the disease changes. Communicating with a peron in the early stages of dementia is not often difficult. Although their language is punctuated with indefinite words (such as “things", “this", “that", “there”) rather than specific words, the surrounding context of a conversation generally supplies much of the missing information. As the discase progresses communication becomes increasingly difficult. The demented person’s language becomes confused and nonsensical. Receptive abilities, i.e., comprehension, also become significantly impaired so that he does not understand everything being said to him. The following suggestions arc offered for improving interactions with an afflicted person: 1. Patience is a primary necessity to facilitate communication. Be prepared for a lack of comprehension and be willing to lake the time to help the demented person understand you. Communication is not just verbal. It also includes facial expressions, tone of voice, body language and daily routines. 2. Repetition will frequently be necessary to help the demented person grasp everything you are saying. Providing him with simple written reminders is one of the best ways to aid a failing memory. Simple daily routines that remain the same are one form of repetition. The demented person gradually learns what is expected of him. In a world where everything seems to be falling apart this routine is one stable aspect that he can (generally) rely on. 3. Slow down. A demented person cannot grasp several ideas at once. Give him time to grasp one idea fully before introducing new topics. 4. Speak in short, active sentences. Even a mildly demented person will be confused by passive sentences (e.g., a sentence ibm describes some action by another person) where either the subject or object of the sentence could be performing the action. Example: Passive (uses “by”): The man was fed by the woman. Active: The woman fed the man. Words that come first in a sentence are frequently accepted as the subject of the sentence by demented persons. In the example above a demented person is just as likely to think that the man fed the woman as vice versa. 3. Refer to concrete (real) actions and objects. Demented persons lose the ability to deal with abstract concepts. 6. Use redundant sentences. Compare “pick up the cup" and “pick up the cup on the table". The latter sentence is preferable because it provides more information to the person and helps him zero in on what his is supposed to do. Another alternative sentence could be “pick up the cup that you use to drink from”. Even if the person has lost the concept of “cup” the additional information “that you use to drink from” may help him focus his actions. 7. Have the person repeat back what you have said. While not assuring comprehension this may facilitate deeper cognitive processing that will aid in comprehension. This may be especially important in cases where the person’s safety is at risk (e.g., taking medicine, wandering, etc.). 8. Use visual aids whenever pos sible. A demented person is gradually losing all means of perception and comprehension to varying degrees. The use of several modalities at once will help to maximize reception and comprehension of the message. Various communication modalities are: -Auditory-hearing a spoken message and tone of voice. -Visual-seeing what is being referred to, either real or a picture. Making good eye contact is also important. -Tactile-touching the object or holding someone’s hand to attract their attention or assure them that they are safe. -Smell-old familiar smells may help kindle old memories, (e.g., his wife’s perfume, favorite foods, etc.). -Taste-may also kindle old memories and reactions, both good and bad (e.g. the taste of medicine). Another “sense", call it what you will, would include the ability to read facial expressions and hear the tone of voice that is used to convey a message. This “sense” may be better preserved than we might expect. 9. Ask simple questions, either a two-choice or yes-no quesiton, rather than an open-ended question. Instead of asking, “What would you like for dinner?” as “Would you like chicken or pork? If the person seems confused be more straightforward, “Would you like chicken for dinner?" Do ask: “Do you need to use the bath room?" “Arc you thirsty?" “Are you cold?" Rather than: "What do you need?" “What do you want?” “How do you feel?” In summary, then: Be patient. Keep it simple (ycs/no questions, active sentences, concrete concepts). Slow down. Repeat yourself. Use several modes of input-visual, auditory, tactile (touch), smell, taste. Jan Millar Davis, Speech! Language Pathology, University of Mary land-A DRDA - Washing ton. DC New Procedures Offer Hope For Infertile Couples By Cesar Reyes, M J)., Obstetrician/Gynecologist Infertility is usually defined as the inability to conceive after at least one year of repeatedly attempting to become pregnant. It affects approximately 15 percent of all couples. Of these, about two-thirds will eventually become parents, but conceiving may require patience on the part of the couple and their doctor. In about 40 percent of the cases, the infertility problem is traced to the man; in another 40 percent, to the woman; and the remaining 20% percent represents a combination of clinical problems in both individuals. It is very important to note that in three to five percent of infertility cases, no specific cause may be uncovered by tests known at this time. Female infertility problems are usually handled by a gynecologist. Male infertility problems usually arc treated by a urologist. Since male infertility is easier to identify than female infertility, an examination of the sperm is usually the first diagnostic lest. Some of the major causes of male infertility can be corrected surgically. Other male infertililty problems can be remedied by hormonal manipulation. If the problem of male infertility cannot be corrected, a couple may decide on artificial insemination. In diagnosing possible causes of female infertility, one of the most important steps is to determine whether the woman is producing an egg, or ovulating. Since the hormones increase body temperature by about one degree centigrade after ovulation occurs, women are often instructed to take their temperature every morning, sometimes with a special thermometer. More convenient home tests are also available to detect the LH surge in urine which also occurs at the time of ovulation. If the woman is not ovulating, but has intact ovaries and a normal reproductive system, medications may be prescribed to stimulate ovulation. A diagnostic workup to determine whether there are any structural or other defects affecting fertility is performed in women who ovulate, but are unable to conceive. Possibilities include blocked fallopian tubes; growths such as polyps, fibroids and other tumors; and endometriosis, which is the abnormal growth of uterine tissue outside the uterus. Enormous progress has been made in the surgical treatment of many of these problems. We are now able to restore fertility in women who would not have been able to conceive a few years ago. More exciting still are the recent advances with in vitro fertilization and the repair of the fallopian tubes. They are blocked most often because of infections, surgical adhesions or prior tubal ligation. Tubal repair is difficult because the tubes are extremely delicate structures and special microsurgical techniques are necessary. Success rates for tubal repair now range from 20 percent to 70 percent, depending on the source of the blockage. Other causes of infertility, such as hostije vaginal mucus, may be treated by various medications, including antibiotics and estrogens that make the environment more accommodating for the sperm. Enormous strides have been made in the treatment of infertility. Most couples have a good chance of overcoming their problem, and more progress in treating infertility is expected in the years to come. Thus a couple who suspects infertility should consult their private physician or gynecologist to review their medical histories in detail. With couples for whom there is no hope of conceiving, adoption remains an alternative route to parenthood. Professional counseling to handle the often devastating emotional impact of infertility also may be recommended. Why Bifocals May Be Prescribed For Children ny RolKTt Alcasabas, O.D. Most people assume that wearing bifocals is a sign of old age. However nowadays there is a significant increase in doing longterm closeup work. The computer has joined television as a parent’s favorite culprit for upsetting a child’s visual abilities. Technology may be on the rise, but so is the necessity to correct a child's visual needs more fully. Hence, your child may need lo wear a bifocal to encourage optimum visual development. Bifocals arc lenses that contain two different powers, or corrections, and arc prescribed lo help patients sec clearly and comfortably at different distances. The upper portion of a bifocal contains the distance power while the lower portion is the near power. Bifocals arc most often prescribed as a cor rection for presbyopia, a natural change in vision that begins to affect people at about age 40. Bifocals arc not frequently needed by young people because in most cases their focusing ability is still at a high level. In times past, it was believed that a child’s glasses prescription for distance seeing was automatically proper for closeup work as well. Today, optometrists arc especially trained in the science of examining the abilities of the eyes and vision to function at both near and far distances. A modern vision examination occasionally finds that a young person’s clearest, most comfortable and most efficient reading vision requires a correction that differs from the distance prescription. Bifocals arc then the most convenient way of providing both proper prescriptions in one pair of lenses. Some specific conditions that may require a child or teenager to wear bifocals may be poor focusing ability, crossed eyes, large yearly increases in nearsightedness, or eyestrain. Children who have such conditions will usually complain of headaches around the forehead or eyes. Bifocals will help alleviate these symptoms. It should be noted that a child may only have to wear a bifocal temporarily until his or her eyes learn to function more efficiently. Children adapt easily to bifocals and may wear them anytime from 6 months to a couple of years. In summary, a child’s need for bifocals docs not mean early aging. Rather, he or she was fortunate to have a very thorough eye examination that in the long run should help insure comfortable, clear vision at all distances.Directory of Medical ServicesDENTIST GENERAL PRACTICE Jeff W. Jones 831 Landa, Siute B New Braunfels, Texas 629-7494 UMIMII HWMUH PfM&IU New Braunets Texas •84 MB EMERGENCY SERVICES •GENERAL mUCAUtimuCAL HOSPITAL •COMPUTE MA TE AUTY KR Vie ES •COMPUTE OUT-PA T>€Jfl SERVICES •OAT-PA TV NT SURGERY 143 E Gar/a (512)625 9t 11 Dr. Henry Hull Dr. Robert Alcasabas (Optometrist*) •Comprehensive Vision Care •Contact Lenses 625-5716 OBSTETRICS & GYNECOLOGY Cesar Reyes M D Ronald A Valdez, M D Obstetrics & Gyneocolgy 12709 Topperwein next to Humana Hospital - Village Oaks (512)657 4099SENIORS HEALTH SERVICES Humana Seniors Association Humana Hospitai-Village Oaks 12413 Judson Road San Antonio, Texas 78233 512/637 1113 WEIGHT LOSS SPECIALISTS Nita Priest, Ed D The OPTIFAST^Program Humana Hospital Village Oaks 12413 Judson Road San Antonio, Texas 78233 512/655 6784 mm Healthcare Mag»i«r«d Nuhmw Mom® Hwih Adm ■PhyscN Therapy 'Spat* Therapy Mad ca Social Wort ‘Oaxpaiene Thor apr 'Mode* Eoutpnwnt ‘Modea Subplot Serving Now Braunielt. Canyon Lax# Seguin. Universal City A now San Marcos "***    24    How    Servtca 189 E Austin New Braunfels 629*5090    1-800-560*5090 EdenT HA me SHARING the CARING SINCE 1910 a SKILLED CARE a PERSONAL CARE • ALZHEIMER CARE • RESTORATIVE THERAPY IMN HOM! INC AAmnstWW OMtcst MI Isfcsvew ....... 62S 6291 See Your Doctor First-Then bring your prescription to City Pharmacy 386 Landa St. 625-4711 We Deliver Health Care Professional for more information on Medical Focus call 625-9144 ;