New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - August 22, 1985, New Braunfels, Texas
4A New Braunfels Herald Zeitung Thursday, August 22, 1985
SAN , DO YOU REALIZE WHERE THAT WATER VOO’RE DRINKING CAME FROM *?
What's Your Beef?
Got a complaint or a comment about something in Comal or Guadalupe counties'1 Write it down or call the Herald Zeitung with it and it might wind up as a part of Bob Baker's 'What's Your Beef?” cartoons.
Our mailing address is PO. Drawer 361, New Braunfels 78131. The phone number is 625-9144. and we're open from 8 a.rn. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday.
All kinds of local ideas are welcome, but the Herald Zeitung reserves the right to select the ideas to be used in the paper If you idea appears in ‘‘What’s Your Beef?”, we'll give you credit in the cartoon.
Dave Kramer, hiih't nth!(,Vuri(i/ Mijmjy.1 Suvan Haire. :
WRE GUIOT OF OVERCHARGING THE GOVERNMENT ON A PEFENSE CONTRACT.
IM GOING TO RUE WU
I'M tow CW CASH rasHTNow,,wia
WU TOKE rn,
FIVE THOUSAND POtCAR
HAMMERS ? I
Tempers flare with summer heat
Maybe it’s the muggy summer heat. Or it could be the position of the moon. Or the slumping of the baseball teams. Whatever the causes, tempers seem to flare more easily at this time of the year, even among normally civil and restrained people.
An example of this could be seen a few days ago in a vignette that unfolded on a Chicago street.
A man and his wife had gone out to a restaurant for dinner. They had driven separate cars because he had come from his job and she from a shopping trip.
Alter dinner, they left for home. He said he’d follow her — a small, protective gesture in the event of an accident, a flat tire or something of that kind.
On a main street, a few blocks from their home, they were in the right-hand lane of traffic, waiting for the light to change so they could turn. There were three or four cars between them.
As they waited, a garishly painted clunker, with pretensions of being a hot-rod, moved slowly forward in the other lane. Sticking out the windows
were several gooftly-grinning young
They were .shouting at people in the waiting lane of traffic. Things Uke: “Hey, baby, you turn me on...Oh, doll, why don’t we go out together and have a good time? ... Hey, man, you got any grass you can spare?” As wed as other youthful witticisms.
Before the light changed, their car stopped next to that of the man’s wife, who happens to be an attractive blonde.
The man couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he saw them motion to his wife to roll down her window, which she did. And three of them were leaning out the window, pointing at her, waving their arms and laughing. And, it seemed to him, they appeared to be leering.
Anger welled up in the man. Hight there on a city street, before his very eyes, his wife was being insulted, abused, molested, subjected to what were undoubtedly lewd and improper suggestions by a crew of punk barbarians. Why, it was right out of “A Clockwork Orange.”
Then the light turned green. Traffic began moving forward. His
wife made the light and turned right.
But because a car had waited to make a left turn in the other lane, the car filled with young men caught the next red light and stopped.
And the man found himself right next to them.
He pressed the electric button that lowered his window. Then he glared at them and snarled:
“You think you’re funny, you (deleted) punks?”
One of the youths looked at him blankly and said: “Huh?”
“You’re not funny," he said, his voice rising. “You’re just a bunch of (deleted deleteds).”
“Hey, what’s with you?”
“I’ll tell you what’s with me,” the man shouted.
His right hand slid inside his suit jacket. At the same time, he opened his door slightly and put one foot on 4ie pavement. And, as his face twisted into a look of magnificent menace, he bellowed:
“How would you like to have your (deleted) heads blown off, you rotten little (deleteds)?”
They gaped, and one of them screamed: “Jeeeez, he’s got a gun,
pr. gorp nm iou our -me ethical ramifications of
MARKETING A PESI6NER Pm I AS UNTESTED AS 'INTENSITY*7
no, aor Mi twin ruAr>£L
BROTHER BUNNY HAS. RIGHT,
/VE PONE A LOT OF RESEARCH ON THE MATTER, ANO I CAN ASSURE YOU, MORALS-WISE, WE'RE ON TERRA FIRMA.
SIR, IF YOU HIRE THE SIPE EFFECT, IM QUITTING.
NOW, PEAN HONEY, I CAN'T BREAK UR THE ACT.
'Don't leave me your zucchini'
he’s got a gun!"
At that instant, the light changed The driver, who had been looking at him bug-eyed, floored the gas pedal
With a screech, the car roared into a left turn so sharp that one of the youths banged his head on tile door frame. Tires still squealing, it sped away.
The man clicked his door shut, turned right, and pulled uito the parking garage, where his wife was waiting.
His face grun, "I really scared the hell out of those punks,” he said.
She looked at him in a puzzled way ‘What punks?”
“Those punks in the car at the light who were molesting you.”
She laughed. “They weren’t molesting me. They were joking. They liked my car and asked me if I wanted to trade with them. They said they’d throw in a six-pack of beer. They were cute kids.”
.“Oh. I see.”
“What did you say to them?”
“Uh, nothing much. I just said they shouldn’t make so much noise, that’s all.”
“And that scared them?”
An open letter to my friend, George H. Cooley:
You have probably been waiting for me to thank you for the 12 zucchinis you left on your back porch last Saturday while I was in town getting the newspaper
Iz?t me lay it on the line, George. I greatly admire the good thine< you have done w ith your money since >ou retired with a bundle from the investment business 30 years ago You have made major contributions to the college we both attended and you have been one of the principle suj>-porters of that fine (Organization, the Nature Conservancy I don’t know anyone who has done more of everything after he was 65 than vt i have. You’re a person wiki could give rich people a good name. Because I do admire you and because I Ila veil t wanted to jeopardize our friendship. it has taken me a long while to get up the courage to say this to you George, we do not want any inure of your zucchini.
When we first met, I was just one of the boys who dated your daughter, Barbara If we spoke at all, I called you Mr Cooley” with great deference and respect After you retired, we all admired you for going back to college to get your doctorate in botany Some people even call you “Dr Cooley.” I don’t but I am just as respectful though less deferential now Please knock it off with tile zucchini, George.
Your garden is the envy of all the weekend gardeners. There’s no doubt you’re good at grow trig things but you have an inflated idea of the desirability of your zucchini I don’t understand how someone who made so much money in the stock market by being alert to every Utile trend could be so unaware of the fact that zuchnuus are a glut on the market at this time of year Does it have to show up on a chart in The Wall Street Journal before you realize that? A person doesn’t need a doctorate in botany, George, to grow zucchini We have more zucchini tlian we can eat in our own garden without having you
leave yours on our track porch while we’re out As a botanist, why don't you come up with a weed killer that would inhibit the grow th of zucchini
Several times during the summer, you have put eight or IO zucchinis that got away from you on the little table in front of the library down in the village. When it conies to zucchini. George, bigger is not better I hate to be the one lo tell you this but when those giant zucchinis disappear from in front of the library, you probably feel some needy faintly is enjoy ing them for dinner Nonsense George Nofanuly rn tow n is so needy that they ll eat a zucchini the sue of a watermelon What happens is that someone who doesnt want your feelings hurt takes tliem and puts
I .ast week I met you at the post office and you were telling me that Barbara says her zucchini cookbook lias a recipe about bow tu make soup
"Cook the zucchini until it s soft," you said. “and then put it in a blender Then heat it with chicken soup, milk and a few tablespoons of margarine ’
Is this the kind of inaccurate advice you gave jreople when you were in the investment business I looked up zucchini soup in Barbara’s book and. just as I thought site uses cream and butter, not “milk and margarine ” If you were telling me how to live to be 89, thats one thing, but if you were telling me how make good soup, you shouldn't liave rewritten Barbara’s bouk I’d also like to jaunt out to both you and Barbara tliat if you put cream, butter and chicken stink ui anything it’ll taste good
I know that you re a Republica! and a strong supporter of the fret enterprise system so it seenu unlikely that you approve o government price supports foi farmers, but Tm not trying to rais< some private capital iii tin com mutiny so tliat next year we will b able to pay you not to grow zucchini.
Rep Tom Loather
U S House
Gov. Mark White
1212 Long worth
Governor s Office
House Office Bldg
Room 200 State Capitol
Washington, D C 20515
Austin, Texas 78701
Rep. Edmund Kuempel
Sen. Phil Gramm
United States Senate
P.O. Box 2910
Washington D C., 20510
Austin, Texas 78769
Sen. John Traeger
Sen Lloyd Bentsen
United States Senate
Room 240 Russell Bldg
Austin, Texas 78711
Washington, D C. 20510
Rep Mac Sweeney
Washington, D.C., 20515