New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - April 10, 1996, New Braunfels, Texas
Master the art of listening and get ahead
E R S
Listening. A lost art...and an ait that can be learned. Mastered and used appro-priately, listening can propel you to the top of your career field. Listening will make iiurwi . you smart. You’ll
Walker ;r become a brilliant
conversationalist. You’ll be popular. Respected.
Why does a good listener acquire more affection than a good talker? Because a good listener always allows people to hear their favorite speakers — themselves. People are a thousand times more likely to be interested in themselves than in you.
Here axe the cardinal techniques for listening: i .
• Look at the person who is talking.
• Leon toward the speaker and listen intently. •
• Adc questions.
• Don’t interrupt.
• Reflect back using the speaker’s words — ‘(‘you” and “your.”
Simple, rules? Yes. But not commonly practiced. Think about it When you last communicated with your family, were you looking at them or at the television? When listening to a report
were you focused on the speaker?
I recently participated in a staff conference. Only one person centered on the speaker. One man wrote a memo. Another placed engagements on his calendar. A woman doodled. Another stared at the floor. A shoe lace preoccupied another. Two people whispered to each other. I, of course, watched what everybody else was doing.
Eye contact—looking at the speaker— is crucial. In the first place, looking at the speaker is common courtesy. It gives the message that you care. Also, looking improves your hearing. You pick up nuances in facial expression and body posture. You concentrate better. Looking at the speaker builds trust, improves rapport. Because the eyes are the gateway to the soul, communication at the deepest level comes from eye contact.
Leaning toward the speaker reflects interest. A forward leaning posture encourages the speaker and builds confidence in the relationship. Leaning away indicates indifference or arrogance.
Asking questions is a high form of flattery. Talking to others about themselves makes them feel interesting and keeps them fascinated. The more questions you ask, the more impressive you will be. Remember: Other people are just as important to themselves as you
are to yourself. Talking to people about themselves works with human nature. Talking about yourself works against human nature.
Knowledge is power and asking questions is the royal road to this power. The more questions you ask, the more you will learn. The more you learn about the other person, the more persuasive power you will have. Asking questions will tell you what motivates others. You can then use this knowledge to help other people get what they want. By helping other people get what they want, you can get what you want.
Of all the listening rules, the don’t interrupt rule gave me the most difficulty. I got excited. I wanted to learn more. I couldn’t wait to hear what I wanted to hear, so I interrupted. I cured myself by remembering that interrupting equals impoliteness. Every time I interrupted, I visualized cutting off the other person’s tongue. Blood spilled on die floor. I stopped interrupting.
To listen, replace “I, me, my mine” with “you, yours.” The more the “you” word is used, the more important people feel. The more important they feel, the better they respond. Listening begins and ends with making the other person feel important.
(John Ingram Walker, M.D. is a New Braunfels resident.)
The unkindest cut of all
I am reminded of a recent television campaign in which successful people reflect upon the teachers in their past who made a difference in their lives with the underlying theme being, “Teachers can be role models too!” Then I see the case of a local high school student.
It is now tryout time for the high school dance team. This student, who is academically very sound, has strong school spirit, is drug free, supports her school, has parents who are involved, and was a solid participant in the past year’s dance team, has dance team tryouts again with her peers. Believing her spot on the team is secure, being a returning starter, this person also signs up as a dance team officer candidate, a leader. Preliminary tryouts are held and this person scores very well. The next day, the tryouts begin, die is first with her group, she feels good about her performance since she has participated with the team all year and knows die criteria. Having finished, she goes to change into her officer tryout outfit. While she enthusiastically awaits officer tryouts with her teammates, dance team members are announced. Quite unexpectedly, she is the only one of her existing dance team to be cut. Standing in her officer tryout outfit she is both devastated and shockingly humiliated before her teammates, friends and family.
Why? That’s just the breaks? Life is
not fair? There will be a lot of disappointments in her life? True, and we can choose to accept those standard answers, but the reality of the situation is that teachers and systems become so bureaucratic when overloaded that they quickly lose sight of a critical role in developing our children, positive reinforcement. Could a mistake have been made? Something overlooked? In this case, academic standings counted less than performance. Prior year’s participation became irrelevant and a single performance was. There was no major flub-up made during the performance, nor a predetermined score to be met or a specific requirement to be achieved Just a line struck across a page — end of discussion.
I am not suggesting that we do not have rules or guidelines. But I believe they should be fair, even if it is not the way everyone else in the state does it. For those of us who know this student, we know an injustice was done. Unfortunately, her teacher and die administration choose not to see the negative impact of such an error and act powerless to reverse the decision, choosing instead to callously pass the buck up the ladder to those who sign their paychecks while simultaneously reciting an all too familiar bumper sticker. Therein lies a significant problem with our educational system. We lose touch with what is really important in developing our children when we carelessly (haw lines and destroy the very fiber
of the person we, as a society, want to
and need so badly, and later wonder monuments
where we went wrong. Our ! and statues pay tribute to people vRo sought to make positive influences trad contributions in our development There are no statues of those who just accepted that life is unfair. Teachers can make a difference. Teachers can correct mistakes. Teachers can be role models, too, if they choose to positively reinfbrdRi student’s development when they I the chance.
W. Scott Johnsc New Braunfet
Winter Texans should bo mads to fool welcome
I feel a reply is in order to ‘Tee 1 lost to Winter Texans.’
I am one of “those” from Minnesott —we too have a large number of* mer people” at our golf course, even from Texas. And we too difficult time getting an early tee timei But we also realize that the tidy prof! our course shows at the end of file sear son is helped considerably by the “siqpi-mer people.” And so we golf at It hours and rarely on weekends. And hope we never make our “Summer I pie” feel they are not welcome.
There are many golfing dollars winter golfers that are going to courses than Landa because of I like ‘Tee times lost to Winter Texans.1 Audrey i New Br
Pinto Ranch Grill thanked for Festtage benefit
Tho Jacob Schmidt Building.
Help celebrate restoration of Schmidt building
The restoration of the Jacob Schmidt Building is nearly complete. The public is invited to an open house Thursday, April ll, from 5 to 6:30 p.m.
The building, originally constructed in the late 1800s, was a two-story building owned by Heinrich Ludwig, known as the Phoenix Saloon. It had an accompanying beer garden and pool. Bells, located in the trees, were activated by push buttons to call waiters to the beer garden where ladies drank. After all, no self-respecting lady would drink inside the saloon. The saloon had a lunch counter and it was here that Gebhart’s Chili Powder was first concocted.
A. R. Ludwig added the third floor, the east one-third of the building and
the rear 30 feet with a second floor apartment. The third floor was originally used as the Masonic Lodge.
The building was purchased by Jacob Schmidt in 192S. He converted the first floor to a clothing store and he and his family lived in the apartment. The building remained in the Schmidt family until 1995 when it was purchased by the new owners, Tracy Lewis, Kay Lambert, Ernest Lambert and Luke Speckman.
Renovation of the exterior of the building is now completed. Painting of the exterior window frames and the addition of awnings is scheduled for later in the year. Today, the first floor is a retail store, the second floor consists of five offices and one apartment
and the third floor contains an artist studio and an office.
At this time the building is completely leased except for the apartment, one office and one large room on the third floor.
“On behalf of “Festtage in New Braunfels” (Holidays in New Braunfels), we would like to thank all of the wonderful folks down at the Pinto Ranch Grill for a very successful benefit evening on April 4. Through the ettorts or tne great start at the “Ranch”, we enjoyed an evening of fun and food, while supporting Festtage, a new and exciting community-wide Christmas holiday program,” stated Jan Kennady, 1996 Chair of Festtage.
“What a great way to spend the evening! Dining at the Pinto Ranch Grill is quite an experience. The new decor of the vintage New Braunfels home takes you back to childhood visions of cowboy matinees on Saturday afternoons. Gene Autry serenades as you sip wonderful margaritas and dine on Southwest cuisine. Certainly those that attended that special evening, benefiting “Festtage in New Braunfels”, will return time and time again enjoy this very unique addition to downtown New Braunfels,” added Marian Benson, Festtage 1996 Vice Chair.
“Festtage in New Braunfels would also like to thank those that came out to support this new program. Many of you will recall Phase I of Festtage as being the enhancement of lighting on the Plaza this past Christmas season. Phase ll of Festtage is proposing even more lighting and activities for the 1996 season. I believe that this is a wonderful way to bring our community together at a very special time of each year,” said Anna Lee Hicks, con-
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round trip from Smithville to Philadelphia.
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D' Ann Carson, co-owner of the Pinto Ranch Grill, receives a plaque from! Jan Kennedy, Marian Benson and Anna Lea Hicks.
sultant to Festtage at the Greater New Braunfels Chamber of Commerce. Hicks added, “If you are interested in this program, please give me a call at 625-2385."
Again, “Festtage in New Braunfels” says thank you to The Pinto Ranch
Grill, owners Steve Hamlet and D’Anh Carson, managers Donna Muras and Bard Ambrose, the staff and a big welcome to New Braunfels!
Jan Kennady, Marion Benson,
rnady, Chetif I, Vice Chair
Anna Lee Hicks, Consultant
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